Yuri

by Marian Tee

  “Why do you have a hard time sleeping?”

  He didn’t answer right away. Finally, he said, “When I sleep, I have bad dreams, and they make me…unable to breathe.”

  Even in the darkness, he could sense her alarm as she pushed herself up, demanding, “But won’t you die if you don’t sleep?”

  He pulled her back down in his arms, murmuring soothingly, “It’s not like that.” Not unless someone could die of guilt. “I have medication, but I’ve stopped taking them.”

  “Why?” she demanded.

  He didn’t answer.

  She said sadly, “Because of me.”

  Yuri froze. Damn. He had again forgotten how exceptionally smart and intuitive she was. “Kalli—”

  She cut her off, saying quietly, “You’re afraid one day I might do something, aren’t you?”

  His chest constricted. Yes. He was goddamn terrified that something bad would happen, something that would tear them apart since his track record with love didn’t exactly inspire hope.

  But out loud, Yuri said, “No. Of course not.” What else was there to say?

  Kalli didn’t answer.

  In one swift move, he switched the bedside light on then rolled Kalli to her back while he loomed over her, his body between her legs and his cock nestled against her pussy. “It’s all me, sweetheart. It’s all me,” he said fiercely, “and only because I have a hard time letting my guard down.”

  She gazed into his eyes, and he stared back at her.

  Finally, she whispered, “I know it’s hard to believe because I may be crazy—” She shook her head when he started to speak. “But I say this with all my heart.” Kalli took his hand and placed it on her chest. “I will never do anything to cause you pain.” Her voice softened. “Because I love you.”

  Ah, Kalli.

  He cupped her face, wanting to kiss her because it was the next best thing after the words he still couldn’t make himself say. But before their lips could touch, they both heard it.

  Someone was knocking – no, banging – on the door.

  God. Damn. It.

  People in their lives had the worst timing in the world.

  There was another hard bang, and then Kellion was yelling, “Wake up, lovebirds. It’s time to hit the beach.”

  ****

  Yuri was jealous, and he didn’t like it one goddamn bit.

  Volunteers Day, a special holiday Hallie had recently come up with, was fast becoming Yuri’s most despised holiday. If Volunteers Day would always have something to do with the beach, where his fiancée had to be on fucking display amongst hundreds of leering wolves, then he wanted no part of it next year or any other year.

  No matter where they went, the stares followed, and Yuri had lost count of the number of times he had to restrain himself from throwing a punch at a guy who had stared at his woman one second too long.

  In Kalli’s defense, she was more covered than most other girls on the beach. She had the most deliciously feminine swimsuit, which was more like a dress, with its red tank-styled top and blue-and-white-dotted skirt.

  Unfortunately, the fact that she showed less skin than most was also why the men couldn’t stop staring. The promise of cleavage swelling over the swimsuit’s modest neckline made them salivate, and the big black ribbon at the back of her swimsuit was just begging to be untied.

  Yuri took a deep breath and cracked his knuckles repeatedly. Just another hour or so, he told himself, and they could finally leave this goddamn place and go back to the hotel.

  Besides, it was a lot better now. Earlier, Kalli had asked him if there was a place she could build sandcastles, and he had swiftly acquiesced by taking her to a private beach, along with Andreus and Hallie. It placed a good number of miles between Kalli and the crowds, but Yuri hadn’t been satisfied until his bodyguards were stationed around them, forming another circle of privacy.

  If his actions made him appear territorial, then so fucking be it.

  Kalliope Antoniou was his alone.

  In front of Yuri, Kalli was kneeling on the sand, building her sandcastle in a furious competition with Andreus Economou. Both had taken a sort of friendly dislike to each other, the way siblings had love-hate relationships, and even now Yuri could hear the two bickering.

  “You never cease to confound me,” Kalli was saying as she carefully shaped the outer walls of her sandcastle.

  Andreus grunted.

  “First, you tell Hallie, the girl you love—”

  “For fuck’s sake, woman—”

  “—that she is ugly even when she is not. Then when she cries and leaves, you look like you want to go to her but you don’t.” Kalli rested back on her haunches and looked at Andreus quizzically. “Do you understand why I am confused?”

  “No.” The Afxisi’s reportedly most dangerous member gave Yuri’s fiancée a ferocious scowl. “Now can you please shut up and let me build this damn sandcastle?”

  It had no effect on Kalli, who only shook her head, murmuring, “You’re so confusing.”

  Andreus looked like he wanted to kill her. Again.

  “If Yuri had not explained to me about you, I would have thought you were a liar.”

  “And what,” Andreus interrupted in an ominously soft voice, “did your fiancé explain to you?”

  “That he says you speak a different language as a half-Cyprian—”

  “We speak Greek,” Andreus growled.

  “—and because of this, it somehow makes you end up saying the opposite of what you feel.”

  “Do you realize,” he demanded incredulously, “how insane that sounds?”

  Kalli blinked. “But your actions are just as insane,” she pointed out reasonably. “You love Hallie, but you push her away—”

  “How many times,” Andreus bellowed, “do I have to tell you I don’t love Hallie Athanas?”

  A gasp.

  Andreus’ head snapped towards the sound, and he cursed under his breath when he saw Hallie, a sick look on her face. She had heard everything.

  Kalli and Andreus watched Hallie walk away.

  “You should go to her now,” Kalli decided, “before it’s too late.”

  “Shut up,” Andreus snapped, but he was already rising to his feet and then he was stalking after Hallie.

  Alone, Kalli looked at Yuri over her shoulder.

  He walked towards her with a wry smile.

  When he reached her, Kalli looked up at him, asking seriously, “Was Andreus’ love for Hallie supposed to be a secret?”

  “Somewhat.”

  “I see.” Something flickered in her eyes. “It’s strange. Grandmother and I never kept our love for each other a secret.”

  He had no words to say, knowing that in a way, she had it right.

  Love wasn’t supposed to be a secret.

  Yuri started to say her name but closed his mouth when he realized she had already moved on to other things. More specifically, she had gone back to building her sandcastle, and by the look of concentration in her eyes, it was as if she had forgotten him already.

  His gaze moved to her work in progress, and he almost choked in surprised that she had managed to build a drawbridge and courtyard behind the outer walls.

  He shook his head in amazement. “You can probably compete with that stuff,” he remarked.”

  But Kalli didn’t look up, and her hands didn’t stop packing, shaping sand, and bringing it to life.

  If he had known Kalli a little longer, he would have realized his fiancée was desperately trying to bury her fears. The look of devastation on Hallie’s face had terrified her, bringing all her nightmares to the surface.

  Nightmares that had nothing to do with Madame.

  Nightmares that had everything to do with Yuri Athanas.

  Nightmares that began and ended with the man she loved no longer loving her.

  If Yuri had known Kalli a little longer, he would have known all of this.

  But he didn’t.

  And so, star
ing down at Kalli, a guilty sense of tension enveloped Yuri as he realized that, in many ways, his fiancée was more child than woman.

  A question sliced into his mind.

  Was it truly right that he keep her with him, knowing it was only a matter of time before his control broke and he’d be fucking her and marking her as his for eternity?

  Would it be better if he took a step back now…before he could hurt her more?

  ****

  It started as something cold and dark in the pit of her stomach, and then it rose up, so fast it took Kalli’s breath away and she found herself gasping silently.

  Something was wrong, the cold, terrifying darkness gleefully boasted to her.

  Something was wrong.

  Kalli didn’t know what, how it happened, or why.

  All she knew was that something was wrong.

  The sand crumbled past her fingers. Her head shot up. Her gaze sought him.

  She caught a fleeting glimpse of Yuri’s face.

  Nooooo—

  Her lips parted in a moan of pain at what she saw.

  Yuri.

  Her heart called out to him, but his heart didn’t hear her.

  Yuri!

  But he had started walking away.

  YURI!

  But he never looked back, and somehow Kalli found the strength to make her voice work despite the cold, terrifying darkness that tried clawing her into silence.

  “YURI!”

  She screamed, gasped, and sobbed his name, not realizing that a powerful wave had crashed against the shores at the same time, drowning her voice.

  All she knew was that she had called for Yuri, and he had not turned back.

  Darkness had won.

  She squeezed her eyes shut.

  And then she began rocking herself.

  It. Was. Not. Going. To. Break.

  It was not!

  ****

  As the foamy waters receded from the shores, tamed by the cycle of nature, that was when Yuri thought he heard something, and his steps halted. He listened, and a second later he heard it again.

  Spinning around, he saw that he had not imagined it at all. His guards seemed to have heard it, too, all of them converging towards Kalli—

  She was rocking herself, her lips moving feverishly as if she was whispering to herself. Her eyes were squeezed shut, but her face was contorted in pain as if even behind her eyelids she was still haunted.

  Tears ran down her face, and the sight destroyed his already broken heart.

  Yuri ran as fast as he could to get back to her. “Kalli!” He wanted her to know he was coming to her. “Kalli!” But she didn’t look up, and her lips didn’t stop moving.

  Reaching her, he fell to his knees and asked in a fear-scratched voice, “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

  But she continued to rock herself, and Yuri began to read her lips.

  It. Was. Not. Going. To. Break.

  Again and again, she said the words to herself.

  It. Was. Not. Going. To. Break.

  He remembered reading those words from the files Mila Antoniou sent him.

  It. Was. Not. Going. To. Break.

  Her pain was silent, endless, and raw, and regret tore into him.

  He knew. He just knew he was the cause of Kalli’s mind hurtling back into the past.

  “I’m sorry.” He hauled her into his arms. “Oh God, Kalli, I’m sorry.” He muttered the words over and over, willing Kalli to come back and hear him.

  “Sir, do you want us to call 911?” one of his bodyguards asked worriedly.

  He shook his head, knowing that an emergency call would only make the situation worse.

  “Kalli, please.” He kissed her hair, and it was as if the touch of his lips brought her to life.

  A great shudder racked her body, and then she was looking up at him, violet eyes filled with so much agony his chest almost caved in at the sight of it.

  “God.” He whitened at the way her body continued to tremble violently in his arms. “Kalli, I’m sorry.”

  She was crying harder and mumbling incoherently now, and his fears worsened. “Tell me what’s wrong,” Yuri begged. “How can I help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong?” His own hands shaking, he framed her face and made her look up. “Tell me.”

  More tears fell down her beautiful face as she whispered brokenly, “I saw you.”

  Yuri froze.

  “You looked at me like you didn’t see me.”

  Oh God, no—

  “T-then y-you looked at me like you wanted to leave me—”

  “Oh God, Kalli.” His face turned ashen at what she was saying, at what she had seen.

  “And then I started calling your name,” she said brokenly, “but you wouldn’t look back. I screamed your name, and you k-kept walking away—”

  Unable to bear any more of her pain, he kissed her, using his lips to let her know that he was not going away, and his heart cracked at how desperately Kalli kissed him back.

  How easily, how guilelessly she had let him and the whole world know how vulnerable she was. She hadn’t cared about who could hear her, hadn’t cared about what people would think or even what Yuri would do, knowing he had that much power over her.

  In his arms, Kalli’s body continued to tremble, and he tightened his arms around her. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m so damn sorry.”

  “I thought I was going to break,” she whispered.

  He kissed her hard. “Never.” He rained kisses all over her face, and he knew then. It really was too late. “I’ll never leave you. I’ll never let you break.” He swallowed. “I love you, remember?”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Stunning views of the beach lay outside the upscale restaurant the Afxisi had rented out for their celebratory dinner, and the sound of the bikers’ laughter often rang out in the night.

  Seated with the rest of the officers, Yuri squeezed his fiancée’s hand under the table and whispered her name.

  She turned to him in askance.

  “I’m just going to get a drink from the bar, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  But she still stood up when he did, and the entire table laughed.

  It had been like this since this afternoon, with Kalli not letting him out of her sight even for a second. He opened his mouth, intending to ask her to stay.

  But then Yuri caught a glimpse of her fear-shadowed eyes and offered Kalli his hand instead.

  Her eyes shone as she took it.

  As they walked towards the bar, he told her lightly, “You know it can’t always be like this.”

  She only nodded, and by now he was beginning to understand that it was Kalli’s own way of being stubborn.

  “What if you go to school?”

  She blinked at him. “You will go to school with me. It’s your school, too.”

  He opened and closed his mouth, deciding wryly that now was not the time to tell her it couldn’t always work that way. “Never mind. We can talk about this next time.”

  If it were only up to him, he wouldn’t have minded one bit if Kalli stuck to his side the entire time. But it wasn’t. He had to think of Kalli, and he knew he could only let this go on for so long.

  Back at the table, Yuri’s phone buzzed an hour later, and he frowned when he saw it was Silas Korba again. Bending his head towards Kalli, he lied, “I need to go to the men’s room.” He didn’t want to risk having her accidentally overhear his conversation with the doctor.

  “Okay.”

  But when he stood up, she did so as well.

  “Kalli.”

  She only stared at him, unblinking, but her body was trembling, and that was enough for him.

  Yuri pushed his still-vibrating phone back into his pocket and offered her his hand. “Come with me?”

  She took his hand wordlessly.

  He went to the restroom, staying for a few seconds before coming out.

  Wild relief flashed in her eyes before the usual serene mask fell
on Kalli’s face.

  Wordlessly, he pulled her close to him and pressed a kiss on her forehead. “What am I going to do with you?”

  Her arms wrapped around his neck. “Just don’t leave me,” she whispered. “Please.”

  Tipping her chin up, Yuri kissed her hard. “I won’t leave you. I love you.” After sending Kellion a message about not going back to their table, he took Kalli with him back to their hotel room.

  “Early night for you,” he said at her puzzled look.

  Her gaze was wary. “You’ll have an early night, too?”

  “Yes.”

  When they reached their room, they changed clothes while facing each other, her gaze following his every movement. Kalli was so afraid of him leaving that his nudity didn’t seem to register on her.

  If only he could say the same for himself.

  By the time they were done changing, he was aching like hell and wondering how he would last the night. She had never refused his touch, but it felt crass as hell if he tried making love to her now.

  “Yuri?”

  “Yes, sweetheart?”

  She offered him his toothbrush while watching him with wide, fearful eyes through the vanity mirror.

  Taking it, he stood next to her, asking, “Let’s brush our teeth together?” He knew he had said the right thing when she visibly relaxed.

  “Okay.”

  And so they did, but even so Kalli’s fingers held the hem of his shirt tightly throughout.

  In bed, they faced each other, her eyes still wary and her body stiff.

  “You have to trust me sooner or later. You know you can’t watch me the entire time.”

  “I know.” Kalli’s voice was unusually stilted, her fears ruining its perfect cadence. “I’m going to try.”

  As was typical of the Afxisi, rooms had been booked at the finest hotel in the area and each officer having a suite of his own. But the tension in the air obliterated the luxurious elegance of their surroundings, and in Yuri’s eyes, everything was as dark and dreary as the shadows that still haunted Kalli.

  Feeling a gnawing need to make her feel less terrified, he heard himself offer, “Do you want to hear a bedtime story?”