The Very Best Gift

by Connie Neal

  On November 18, 1997 I had to fly to a business meeting. It was only an hour flight and I would come back home that same evening. Patrick had to go to work and planned to drop me at the airport on his way to work. Grandma was going to watch the kids. So, we put Buddy out of the house and off we went.

  When Patrick and I got home that night, everything was surprisingly quiet. With Buddy around it usually wasn’t calm or quiet. So, Patrick searched around to find Buddy and found something terrible instead. While we had been away Buddy had an accident and died. Patrick was more upset than I had ever seen him. I went back into the family room, crying. Then I broke the sad, sad news and we all began to cry.

  Here is a picture of Buddy, holding his leash in his mouth. He was a very good dog and we loved him.

  7 Saying Goodbye to Buddy was Very Sad

  I will spare you the upsetting details, but you can imagine how terrible we all felt. Everyone felt sad at our loss and sad for Buddy, who was such a good dog. We all felt a little guilty too; like we should have protected Buddy better. But none of that could bring Buddy back.

  We were all devastated, but the loss seemed to hit Taylor particularly hard. He had always been a happy-go-lucky kid, but after Buddy died he became seriously depressed. After a few weeks, his teacher, Mrs. Tricomo, was so concerned that she called me. She suggested that we either get Taylor another dog or a take him to a therapist. She was very worried about him. Taylor’s joy was completely gone even though it was now Christmastime. Something had to be done, but what?

  Patrick and I prayed for wisdom and for God’s help, but we didn’t know what to do. It’s not like you can just replace one dog with another.

  Around this same time, President Clinton got a new dog. The White House was having a contest to choose a name for the “First Dog.” It was hard to watch all the media fanfare about the President’s new dog. We didn’t care what he named him. We just hoped he didn’t name him Buddy because that would remind us of our “Buddy”. So, what name do you think they chose?

  8 President Clinton with "First Dog" Buddy www.clintonlibrary.gov

  Yep! You guessed it; President Clinton’s family named their dog Buddy. I remember hearing the news on TV. I was coming downstairs and Taylor ran up the stairs to me when he heard the announcement. We both started crying and sat down right there on the stairs, hugging each other for comfort. It seemed too much to bear; why should he have his Buddy, but we didn’t have ours?

  My husband, Patrick, took me aside and said,

  “You’re supposed to be helping him. I don’t think this is the way to help. What is wrong? Is there something deeper going on with you?”

  I was taking this very hard, myself. His questions caused me to stop and consider why I was so devastated by the loss of Buddy and why I couldn’t seem to get over it either. As I thought and thought about it, the reason came to me. It was a reason that touched on such a deep hurt that I had buried it away and almost forgotten it.

  A sad memory I had put away many years ago came back to me. I recalled that when I was six years old I was living at my mom’s house – which was a place where a lot of drinking was going on and people were getting drunk. And when people get drunk they are not very careful. That year for my birthday I got a little blond Cocker Spaniel puppy I named Sandy. I loved my puppy.

  9 Sandy, My First Puppy at Age 6

  But within a few months, someone left the door open and Sandy got out. I heard that she was hit by a car and killed.

  On my next birthday, when I turned seven, my mom got me another blond Cocker Spaniel puppy. We named her, Sandy 2nd.

  10 Sandy the 2nd, My 7th Birthday Present

  Again, within several months, someone wasn’t watching as they opened the door. I was at school when it happened but Sandy the 2nd escaped and I never saw her again.

  On my eighth birthday, my mom – lacking creativity – got me another blond Cocker Spaniel puppy, which I named Sandy the 3rd.

  11 Sandy the 3rd, My Birthday Present at Age 8

  I had that puppy longer than the first two, because I was very protective. But she also eventually got out and did not survive. No wonder I had not thought of that for decades; it was too sad. But losing Buddy brought back all the pain of my childhood losses. I wanted to help Taylor so he didn’t carry all the pain and loss of losing Buddy with him as he grew up.

  So, I told Patrick,

  “Let’s remedy Taylor’s pain and mine. Let’s get a blond Cocker Spaniel and name him Buddy.”

  Every Christmas, Grandpa Neal sends our family money so we can get gifts we know the kids will like. We had just received Grandpa Neal’s Christmas money. So we decided to take that and look to buy a blond Cocker Spaniel that we could name Buddy.

  Now this was December 18, 1997, exactly one month since our poor Buddy lost his life. It turned out that I had to fly down to a business meeting at my agent’s office. I was taking the exact same flights I had taken the day Buddy died. So it was quite upsetting, remembering what had happened and how much had changed in just one month. The kids were very solemn as I left. No one said why out loud, but we were all thinking about that other day one month before. The kids did not know that we were on a quest to find a new “Buddy” before Christmas. Patrick and I stopped by the mailbox as we drove out to head for the airport. There with the mail we found the Pennysaver, a paper with classified ads selling things including pets. I quickly flipped to the Pets pages. There I found this ad:

  Free to good home: 9-month-old male,

  Cocker Spaniel; has all shots.

  As we were driving to the airport, I used my cell phone to call immediately. The man who answered was surprised to get my call. He just happened to be home for lunch and didn’t realize the ad was out yet. I was the first to call.

  The first question I asked him was, “Is the dog blond?”

  He said, “Well, sort of; he’s like white with reddish buff spots.”

  Close enough! I plied him with our family’s merits and promises to love and care for this dog. I conveniently skipped over the part where we left our previous dog in a situation where he came to an untimely end.

  Then I asked, “By the way, what is his name?”

  You want to guess?

  Yep! His name was already Buddy!

  I started crying, and went on to tell the man that we HAD to have that dog. He would be our Buddy! I tried to control my emotions because I didn’t want Buddy’s owner to think I was a crazy woman! He said he would keep us in consideration. Patrick dropped me at the airport and I flew off, not knowing whether or not we would be chosen to have Buddy. The man who ran the ad about his Cocker Spaniel received over 200 calls that day and evening, but he told them all that Buddy already had a home. He had decided Buddy belonged with us. We couldn’t wait until Christmas, so Christmas came six days early that year. We put Buddy in our Christmas photo the next year. His red spots even matched Taylor and Haley’s red hair.

  12 Taylor & Buddy Christmas Photo 1998

  13 Taylor & Buddy Tussling Over a Bone

  They loved to play together. And the blessings of Buddy didn’t end with bringing the smile back to a boy’s face.

  About a year later, we brought home a bride for Buddy, named Binky.

  14 Buddy Meets His Child Bride, Binky

  15 Binky Grew to Be a Lovely Lady

  And the gift of Buddy the 2nd made up for a lot of childhood losses. Buddy and Binky had puppies!

  16 Buddy & Binky's Puppies

  When I was a child, I lost three blond Cocker Spaniels, but we ended up with Buddy, Binky, and six blond Cocker Spaniel puppies.

  17 All 6 Puppies Wrestling & Resting

  18 Buddy Jr. Teething on a Broom

  19 The Gift of Buddy Multiplied & Made Up for My Childhood Losses Too!

  Wow! Choosing the winner of this competition was going to be hard. That was Daddy’s job as referee; he looked at me with a worried expression. Both Teddy Ruxpin and Buddy were great gifts but which o
ne was the best? That was going to be a difficult decision to make. What do you think so far?

  You might think that Haley would seem intimidated, but she was smiling. It seems that she had thought of a gift that could stand up to the competition.

  HALEY’S BEST GIFT: THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH

  20 Haley in Christmas Photo 1998

  It was Haley’s turn. Looking confident, she said, “The Happiest Place on Earth!” as if that should win the competition without question. “You know, Disneyland: The Happiest Place on Earth. It was my birthday present and since my birthday is in December it counts for Christmas too.”

  21 "The Happiest Place on Earth"

  On her 7th birthday, I had taken Haley to Disneyland and Southern California. My agent had been able to get us into Club 33, which is an exclusive dining place where Walt Disney used to entertain his friends. She and I had a wonderful time.

  22 Haley Celebrating at Club 33, Walt Disney's Exclusive Club

  Haley got to hang out with Mickey and Minnie at the Disneyland Hotel and even go ice skating with them.

  23 Haley (far right) with Minnie & Mickey on the Way to Ice Skating at the Disneyland Hotel

  So, that was a very memorable gift. I could see why Haley would choose that trip as her best gift ever. She seemed to think that because Disneyland is called “The Happiest Place on Earth” that proved it was the best gift and she should win the competition without question. This was a problem I hadn’t anticipated when I proposed our little contest. Each one of our three kids seemed sure that their “best gift” was THE best gift. I could see that Patrick was already worrying over having to pick a winner. Maybe I could help him out.

  I announced that I would like to enter my “best gift” into the competition too. They didn’t like that idea much, but I talked them into it, assuring them that we would be fair and they would be happy with the outcome. So they went along with it.

  I was going to add something to Haley’s story that no one knew. Everyone loves hearing a story of something that had been secret but is about to be revealed so they listened closely. I hope you will, too.

  MOM’S BEST GIFT: THE REAL GLORY OF CHRISTMAS

  When Haley and I went to southern California to go to Disneyland, I took her to another place called the Crystal Cathedral where there was a performance called The Glory of Christmas. The Crystal Cathedral is a beautiful glass building that can seat thousands. All the walls are glass and the ceiling opens up to the stars. It is an amazing venue.

  24 The Crystal Cathedral at Dusk

  While we were there for Haley’s 7th birthday, I took her up to the highest row in the balcony.

  25 Balcony (center top) Where Haley & I Sat Together 7 Years after Pat & I Sat There

  That spot held special meaning for me. Her dad and I had sat in that same spot to see The Glory of Christmas seven years before. Now, around our dinner table, I told our whole family the story of my first time seeing The Glory of Christmas.

  I was pregnant with Haley and we lived in southern California at the time. I had always wanted to see The Glory of Christmas but money was tight and we never seemed to be able to afford it. That year I won two tickets to the performance. I was so excited. The tickets I had won were for a specific date and time. That happened to fall on the day the doctor said our baby, Haley, might be born. I wasn’t going to let anything stop me from seeing the performance. I was sure the baby could wait, even though babies come when they are ready.

  That afternoon, as I got ready for my big night out with Patrick, I started having contractions. (For any children reading this, that is the way a woman’s body starts telling her that it is almost time for the baby to arrive.) I did not want to worry my husband and I certainly didn’t want to miss The Glory of Christmas, so I decided not to tell Patrick what my body was telling me. We arrived at the Crystal Cathedral and walked up the stairs to our place at the top of one of the balconies.

  26 Mary's Pregnant Donkey Ride Held New Insights While I Had Contractions

  My contractions were starting to become stronger; they couldn’t quite be called labor pains yet, but I certainly felt them. As we watched the familiar Christmas story unfold before us in this pageant with real animals, I watched Mary ride her donkey toward Bethlehem (the stage at the front of the cathedral.) I focused on Mary more and more with each contraction. And with every contraction, I felt closer to her. I wasn’t sure who was going to have her baby first: me or Mary.

  My respect for Mary and what she went through to bring the Christ child into the world grew that night. I had never really thought of her physical journey toward Bethlehem. She was a young teen like the girls I worked with in youth group. She was in a strange city and didn’t have a place to go. She was away from her mother and father, about to give birth to the Son of God in a dark, cold, lonely stable. Now, for the first time, it dawned on me that she had to be having contractions while riding on that donkey. So as I watched Mary and Joseph take their places in the stable, I looked at my watch and noted that my contractions were now consistently less than three minutes apart. I leaned over and whispered to Patrick that we might need to stop by the Birth Center on our way home.

  As I sat there watching Mary and Joseph that night in 1990, Patrick and I had also been dealing with another kind of pain and uncertainty. Our marriage was being torn apart by difficult circumstances. We were doing our best to take care of our little family and stay together, but we didn’t know how we were going to make it. We had both lost our jobs; we had to move to a new city; we had marriage problems that hurt us deeply, and even though we were committed to our marriage, we were still uncertain whether our family would remain intact. But we had this hope of our new baby coming into the world. We had the hope of the baby Jesus who came into the world to save us from our sins. We had hope.

  Part of The Glory of Christmas recited the words of the prophet Isaiah speaking about the baby that was born of the Virgin Mary and laid in that manger in Bethlehem so long ago.

  It explained why the baby Jesus came into the world and why he came when and where he did. It quoted the Bible:

  “All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet:

  ‘The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son,

  and they will call him ‘Immanuel’ – which means, ‘God with us.’”

  (Matthew 1:22-23)

  That night in December 1990, Patrick and I were able to finish watching the pageant. We drove straight to the Birth Center where I was checked on. My contractions stopped that night and Haley was born the next day. Now, in December of 1997, I sat in the same seats where Patrick and I had sat together awaiting Haley’s birth. But now I sat here with my beautiful little girl who had just turned seven. Haley loved the live animals. I didn’t tell her that “real flying angels” were soon going to fill the skies, singing “Glory to God in the Highest!” right above our heads.

  27 One of Many Flying Angels in The Glory of Christmas

  She sat in amazement as the three Magi rode in on live camels; their ornate head-dresses making them seem larger than life. Haley strained to see Joseph lead Mary in on a real donkey while the star of Bethlehem shone overhead. And as I watched this scene repeated with Haley seated next to me, I recalled how much God had brought us through in the seven years since I had sat there pregnant with her.

  In those intervening years, God miraculously supplied the money we needed, gave us new jobs to replace the ones we had lost, helped us forgive each other and mended our broken hearts. He gave us a house in which we made a new home. He gave us every single thing we needed and much more. And, I told my family gathered around the dinner table – who seemed to have put the “best gift” competition aside – that brings us to what I believe is the best gift…The VERY Best Gift.

  THE VERY BEST GIFT!

  My “best gift” is the gift God gave the world in the baby Jesus, “God with us.”

  Here is why I think this is the VERY BEST
gift:

  That baby in the manger was the best gift of all because Jesus was and is God with us.

  God is with us when we don’t have enough money to get our child the one toy she wants for Christmas. I looked at Casey, and she nodded. God is with us when the dog dies and a little boy is heart-broken. I looked at Taylor and he smiled. God is with us when a grown woman’s forgotten childhood losses come back to leave her crying on the stairs.