Forever Touched

by Lilly Wilde

  Opening the door, I was greeted by the low sound of jazz as I stepped inside. The room was empty with the exception of Aiden, the musicians, the bartender and a hostess who showed me to a seat.

  Before I could quite take in the space, the hostess reappeared with a drink. “Courtesy of Mr. Raine.”

  “Thank you,” I replied.

  “He said you had a weakness for pineapple, so if you’d like more, please let me know,” she said.

  “I certainly will,” I said, concealing my smile.

  Aiden was sitting in the far corner of the room. He’d changed clothes also, dressed in white shorts and a light blue button-down shirt that he’d left open at the top. He looked relaxed, one arm resting on the back of the chair as he took a drink from the glass he was holding. His head tilted to the side, studying me as I sipped the pineapple-garnished drink. I lifted my glass toward him, gesturing a thank you. He nodded his response. He was indeed an impossibly gorgeous man, and observing him in this island paradise rendered him even more difficult to resist … but somehow I did. I turned away and continued my survey of the room.

  My perusal of the space ended with my gaze once again resting on Aiden. He hadn’t moved … and he was still looking at me. I took another sip of the drink and crossed my legs, my wrap falling open. Aiden’s gaze fell to the exposed flesh. His tongue moved over his bottom lip as he leaned forward, placing the drink on the small table in front of him. With his elbows on his knees, he lifted his chin, motioning for me to join him.

  I shook my head, refusing his offer.

  Aiden threw his head back, laughing.

  I bit my lip, suppressing a smile.

  He lifted a finger, again motioning for me to come to him.

  I rolled my eyes and turned away, facing the bar.

  Barely a moment later, a fingertip traced its way to my collarbone.

  “Are you going to make me beg?” came his deep, sultry voice.

  “Depends,” I said, looking up to face him. “Are you any good at it?”

  “I can be. For you. I can be anything you want me to be.”

  “Good answer.”

  He leaned in closer, his lips to my ear. “So tell me, what do you want me to be?”

  A rush of heat flashed across my skin. “I want you to be that stranger that I spot across the room. The one with whom my eyes lock. The one who makes it impossible to look away.”

  “Let’s say I’m that very lucky stranger,” he said, his gaze darkening as it fell to my cleavage.

  “Okay, stranger … why don’t you show me what you’ve got?”

  “Are there any rules?” he asked. “I need to know what you’re on board with.”

  “If you’re as smooth as you come across, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

  “You’re not going to make this easy on me.”

  “No. Nor should I,” I said. “You are a stranger, after all.”

  “Touché’” He lifted my hand to his lips. “What are the odds of you joining me on the dance floor?”

  “Pretty good. If you ask.”

  “I’m asking.”

  “Then I guess I’m accepting.”

  *****

  Aiden and I danced, drank and flirted until the need for fresh air arose. As we left the cove, Aiden beckoned the musicians to follow us. With my hand encased in his, we walked along the beach, the gentle breeze of the evening air moving around us and a light jazz melody serenading our every step. The night—accentuated by the full moon casting a warm glow over the tranquil waters—was perfect.

  Our moonlit stroll ended at the foot of an enormous space. It was illuminated with dozens of candles that outlined the shape of a heart.

  “What’s this?” I asked.

  “My heart,” Aiden said. “I want to surround you with it.”

  I glanced up at him, the lights flickering in his dark eyes. If I hadn’t already been married to this man, I’d be doomed, because he was on a mission to seize every piece of my soul.

  Aiden sent the musicians on their way, and then we took a seat on the blanket in the center of the heart. I sighed, staring up at the moon as Aiden pulled me close.

  “The moon and the stars, they’re nothing without you,” he said.

  I looked into his eyes and I was lost. Aiden’s face lowered toward mine and our lips touched. With his hand at the small of my back, he guided me closer, his tongue sliding into my mouth. As his lips caressed mine, I felt it—the spark that ignited every part of me. And with a deliberate tenderness, his tongue plunged deeper, tasting me. I’d never been kissed by anyone who touched every fiber of my being, whose skill sent my heart into a series of erratic beats, whose lips perfectly complemented mine.

  We lost ourselves in each other. We touched. We kissed. We devoured. But our touches didn’t last long enough and our tongues couldn’t go deep enough. We were a sexually deprived couple who, after months and months of neglect, finally had a chance to be alone. We toyed. And we teased. We made up for the time in which we hadn’t done either of those things.

  Feeling the prod of his hardness against my thigh, I reached for the fly on his shorts, intent on releasing his erection, but he stopped me.

  “No,” he murmured against my lips, as he pulled my hand away.

  “Please,” I breathed.

  His tongue moved over my jaw, trailing to the sensitive skin of my nape. “In due time,” he whispered and sealed his mouth over mine.

  It wasn’t just sex with us. It never was. And it never would be. Even our first time … it had been a connection on the rawest level and it seemed to only intensify with each touch. Something that to this day, I failed to comprehend. And after months without that, it was time. I wanted that connection again, and I didn’t want to wait. So why did he?

  The setting couldn’t have been more perfect. The desire couldn’t have flamed any higher. Our racing hearts were those of a husband and wife who knew this wasn’t enough—we both wanted more. Yet we refrained, somehow finding contentment in the passion of endless kisses until the candles were extinguished, leaving us nearly shrouded in obscurity. And then we were lying beneath the dim glow of the moon, our fingers intertwined as we stared into the night, quietness surrounding us as we fell into the darkness of the endless sky.

  *****

  We must have both fallen asleep. When my eyes next opened, it was to a new day, the dusk of dawn creeping over us. Aiden pulled me atop his long frame. I grinned, staring down at him, my hair cascading around my face. He reached up and tucked the locks behind my ears.

  “Are you enjoying yourself?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I said, smiling at him. “How long can we stay?”

  “As long as we want. Or as long as you can stand to be without Lyric.”

  “Me? What about you?” I asked. “That kid has you wrapped around his finger. I shudder to think of how bad it will become once he’s older.”

  Aiden flipped me over and pulled me to my feet. “You’ve got to admit, he’s a pretty amazing kid.”

  “How can he not be?” I asked. “He’s ours.”

  “Just let me know when you’re ready to head back. In the meantime, how about you get some rest and meet me for a late brunch once you awake?” he said, as we headed from the beach.

  “We’re still not sharing the same house?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Why?” I asked.

  “We will. Tomorrow.”

  I was quiet, wondering why he was insistent upon us being separated.

  “Are you bothered by my request?” he asked, once we’d reached the beach house.

  “Well … yeah. I don’t understand.”

  “You will. I promise,” he said. He pulled me to his chest and kissed my cheek. “I enjoyed every moment of yesterday … and last night.”

  “Me, too.”

  “Get inside and get some sleep. I’ll be at your door in a few hours.”

  “Okay,” I replied. “But call first.”

  His brow
s lifted. “Oh, so now I have to call before I can see my wife?”

  “Since you’re tossing out silly rules, I’m just following suit.”

  His lips shifted into a smile. “I love you, Mrs. Raine.”

  “I know.” With a kiss to his cheek, I stepped past him and walked into the house.

  *****

  “Coming!” I yelled.

  Aiden was taking this separate house thing a little too seriously. He wouldn’t even come inside. When he phoned to say he was on his way, I told him I wasn’t quite ready, and that he should step inside until I’d finished getting dressed, but he insisted on waiting at the door. And that’s where he was … knocking again for the second time.

  “Ugh. Why didn’t you just come in?” I said, finally opening the door. “You’re so strange.”

  “Hello to you, too, wife.”

  He hadn’t been this formal when we were friends. As a matter of fact, he’d taken every opening he could … hell, he even forced a few. But now he wanted to stand on formalities. I shook my head. What a weirdo.

  I reached up and granted him a kiss. “Hello, husband.”

  He extended his arm. “Shall we?”

  I looped my arm through his, and we made our way down the paved trail to the docks. Awaiting us was the same yacht from the previous day. The two-man crew welcomed us aboard and directed us to the deck for a light breakfast.

  After we’d eaten, we enjoyed a sail around the island. We sunbathed until the water beckoned our attention. Aiden challenged me to a race. Of course, I accepted, and of course he had the satisfaction of victory. Later, after an hour or so of parasailing, I was lying on the deck when Aiden emerged from the water, his skin glistening in the sunlight.

  “See something you like?”

  I flipped over to my stomach. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

  “Okay,” he said and laughed. He smacked my backside as he lay down beside me. “What if I see something I like? What do you suggest I do about it?”

  “From the way things have been going, I doubt you’ll consider my suggestions.”

  “Try me,” he said.

  “I’d rather not say. Don’t want to force you to break your vow of celibacy.”

  He shook his head.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Celibacy?” he scoffed. “How is that possible married to someone like you? Do you realize how hard it is to behave like a proper gentleman when I’m anywhere near you?”

  I flipped back over. “Why don’t you tell me about it?”

  He turned over, too, his elbows supporting his frame as his eyes moved over me. “Each time I look at you …”

  “Yes?”

  “All I think about is touching you. Feeling your soft skin beneath my fingertips. I’m reminded of all the ways … all the places I’ve kissed you. The sounds you make when I do.”

  “So you do miss it?” I asked.

  “More than you know.”

  Finally. I’m getting somewhere. “Are you planning to show me how much?”

  “No.”

  What the hell kind of game was he playing? Then it dawned on me. Aiden was walking again. As far as I could see, he’d returned to his former self, but maybe everything wasn’t in working order.

  “Let’s talk about something else,” I said, wanting to change the subject just in case.

  “What do you want to talk about?”

  “Anything,” I said. “I just want to hear your voice.”

  Aiden dove into conversation about the plans he’d made for Lyric. He’d already selected the maple in the backyard that was best suited for a tree house. And he wanted to start looking for pre-school academies. He had a few in mind, but if they didn’t provide the curriculum he wanted, he planned to buy one and implement specific programs. Yes, Lyric was going to be a mini-Aiden. No doubt about it.

  We took a final swim before heading back to shore. The sun had started to set, and we had dinner plans later, so I went back to the beach house … alone. As I closed the door behind me, I wondered if I’d guessed correctly. Aiden had obtained a fair share of erections since his recovery, so everything had to be okay. Then again, he’d been able to achieve a hard-on before his recovery, so that put a hole in my theory. Maybe I was right, and he hadn’t fully recovered. If so, why was he worried about telling me?

  *****

  Later that evening, we enjoyed dinner on the beach. It was nice. The waves, the sea breeze, the musicians from last night … but today they were playing different tunes. More island-geared music. When a familiar melody rang through the air, I asked Aiden to dance. I loved dancing with him—but then again, I loved doing most anything with him. When a slower song started, he pulled me close. I placed my head against his chest and sank deeper into the blissfulness of nirvana.

  As we swayed to the music, there were a couple of times I felt Aiden’s manhood poking me, but I didn’t let on. Just in case I was right, I didn’t want to bring attention to something he wasn’t ready to discuss.

  Towards the end of the night, Aiden said he wanted to talk to me about something. So this was it. He was going to tell me about his condition. I’d prepared myself for it. I was ready to tell him that it wouldn’t change my feelings—that we were bound for an eternity.

  “I have a lot to make up for,” he started.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “I let you down, Aria, and that still bothers me.”

  “But you said you knew we were in a good place … and we are.”

  Yes, but …”

  “But nothing. We’re good. I think you’ve learned a lot through this. We both have,” I said.

  “That very well may be true, but I didn’t behave as the husband I should, as the husband I would like to be to you.”

  I felt the weight of his concern. I heard it in his tone and I saw it in his eyes. “We’re still learning how to do this. It’s probably a little harder for people like us.”

  “Maybe just a little,” he said. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “The fear of losing you is something fierce. Let’s not go through anything like that again.”

  I thought back to those dark days. “Every moment without you was horrible.”

  “It was the same for me, but I kept telling myself it was for the greater good,” he said.

  I shook my head. “I don’t know how you ever figured that.”

  “Sometimes you suffer through a fair amount of pain to avoid an even larger degree of it. I was aware of my actions, and I knew they would hurt us both. But I knew we were both strong enough to withstand it. I could live with that, but I couldn’t live with being the selfish asshole who kept you from a life you deserved. You deserved more than a life of sitting and hoping. You deserve the world, and if I couldn’t give that to you, I knew I had to let you go. I loved you enough to do that, because I knew you’d be the better for it. I figured the only way to get my message across was by making you angry enough to go through with it—to leave me if it came to that.”

  “And that’s why you changed the locks?” I asked. “You thought I’d be so angry that I’d bolt?”

  “Yes.”

  “Aiden. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Why would you … how could you see that as sensible? I’d be miserable with anyone who wasn’t you.”

  “You didn’t seem too miserable when I found you in Belize,” he accused.

  “You’re such an ass. I was incomplete, and you know that. We’re too much a part of each other to ever be even marginally happy with anyone else. Regardless of your ability to give me what you thought I needed or deserved.”

  “I know that … now.”

  “And you should have known it then. I knew what you were trying to do, and I love you for it, but for someone as intelligent as you, it was a really dumb move. And we need to be straight on something.”

  His brow lifted. “And that is?”

  “That I’m in this for life. I promised that in my vows, and I meant ev
ery single word. I know some people get married and divorced as often as they change clothes, but that’s not us. We can’t be apart. Not ever. And I love you because of your heart, not because of your legs or even your cock. You should know that.”

  “Of course, I know that. But I felt guilty because you were being forced into something you didn’t expect. And I was too selfish to come right out and end things myself,” he said. “All I want is for you to have the life you deserve.”

  I reached for his hand. “I deserve you. I deserve us. No matter how it comes … I deserve us. But …”

  “Yes?”

  “If you ever put me through anything even remotely close to that again, I’m gone. You can buy me whatever, you can stalk me, you can woo me, but it will get you absolutely nowhere. You’ve said over and over that you know I didn’t sign up for a life of this or that, but what I didn’t sign up for is being disrespected or disregarded. Do you understand me?”

  “Aria, you just said you were in this for life, so—”

  “Aiden. Wyatt. Raine. I only want to hear two words. Tell me.”

  For a few seconds, he held my gaze. “I understand,” he finally said.

  His hands rested over mine as he stared into my eyes. He shook his head as if a thought suddenly occurred to him.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “You’re a force to be reckoned with. Do you know that?”

  “One has to be to walk with the Raines.”

  He laughed and then let out a sigh. “You have no idea how much you mean to me … to my life. I adore you, Aria. You’ve brought a happiness that I don’t think I deserve. I know how lucky I am. You walk into a room and I can’t look away. I get to watch you dress in the morning, to share a bathroom with you, to kiss you goodbye as I leave for the office, and to lie beside you at night. I never want to lose one minute of that.”

  “Those little moments … they kinda stick with you, don’t they?” I asked. “I want more of those. No more of the ones that ripped us to shreds.”

  “I knew we’d have bad days, but I don’t think any man who’s a new husband and a new father would take what happened to me very well. It threw me for a loop.”

  “I can’t begin to imagine or understand how horrible that must have been for someone like you.”