Charms and Death and Explosions

by Honor Raconteur

  I think they half-expected a multitude of cars, Kingsmen, guards…some sort of grand entourage. Instead, Queen Regina pulled onto the main street with a Kingsman driving, Seaton next to her in the back seat, and what looked to be a secretary of some sort in the front. Hardly the fanfare people associated with royalty, but from what I knew of her, very in taste with Queen Regina’s usual antics.

  Someone recognized her in the crowd and the word spread like wildfire. No one dared to crowd the car, but they inched closer, beaming as she waved at them. The Kingsman pulled to the side and parked, then hopped around to open the door as Queen Regina stepped regally out. As she did so, she looked all around, asking a question I could not discern from my position. I stayed on the porch of Dr. Cartwright’s practice, as I had no desire to be crowded in on all sides.

  Perhaps because of my position, Seaton spotted me. He lifted a hand and beckoned me closer. What the devil was he about, wanting me to talk to the queen? I couldn’t think of a single thing to say to her, no information I could impart, that she hadn’t already heard a dozen times. Sighing in resignation, I made my way toward them, forced to slip sideways through different pockets of people to manage it.

  Queen Regina Kingsley, Fifteenth Queen of Kingston, did not possess the extraordinary beauty that bad novels always insisted queens should have. She rather reminded me of my sister, really, just one ten years older. She’d dressed quite sensibly in a plain blue skirt suit, well cut to her figure, dark hair done up in a loose bun that complimented her heart-shaped face. As I approached, Seaton said something to her in a low tone, and she smiled winsomely.

  That smile transformed her into someone I instinctively felt I could confide in. Strange, how that glimpse of personality affected me so. Drawing to a halt in front of her, I gave an appropriately deep bow before straightening.

  “Your Majesty, this is Dr. Henri Davenforth, our Magical Examiner,” Seaton introduced with a wave at me. “Davenforth, I trust this lady needs no introduction on my part.”

  “Perish the thought,” I returned with a brief smile. “Your Majesty, a pleasure to meet you.”

  “And you, Dr. Davenforth,” she returned, making no secret of her study as her eyes swept me from head to foot and back again. “I’ve heard much about you, most of it kind, some of it rather alarming. You didn’t really turn down the offer to become my Kingsman, did you?”

  She found that alarming? “Your Majesty, I have not the physical stamina for it, nor the magical power necessary. I’m best suited to the occupation I hold now.”

  Her blue eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “You are not one to be overly ambitious. I find that quite charming. So little in my acquaintance are of that nature. Well, I’m pleased to know the man behind the stories. Jamie is always telling me something you said or did, and Seaton’s inclined to steal you away to work on his magical puzzles, so I knew you had to be a good sort. Walk with me, sir, and tell me what all has been done. I’m very anxious to know that preventative measures have been taken, as I do not want my citizens to fall prey to something like this again.”

  I found this sideways praise to be somewhat disarming, and I had no way to respond to it, so I felt grateful she directed me on what she wanted to hear. I fell into step with her, walking her through the many charms we’d painted on the sides of the buildings, hung along the walls, and the ones scheduled for renewal.

  Queen Regina listened attentively, her eyes following where I pointed, then stopped me with an uplifted hand as we reached one of the refuse bins. “I’m told that the refuse man in this area refused to collect the decaying charms. You’ve confirmed this?”

  “Yes, Your Majesty. I’ve reported the matter to his superiors as well.”

  “I find this quite distasteful, that the man would cause so many problems for other people in order to line his own pocket. Is this a common problem in my city?”

  “More common than I care for,” I admitted sourly. “I’ve encouraged the word to spread that if anyone has such a problem in the future, they are to immediately report it to me, and bring their expired charms with them. I’ll handle it.”

  Her head canted as she regarded me. “That’s kind of you, Dr. Davenforth.”

  “Not at all,” I denied, and meant every word of it. “I’ve no patience with this sort of stupidity. I don’t want my city plagued with illnesses or ablaze, either.”

  “On those two points, we are in perfect accordance,” she assured me, smile razor sharp. “And I can promise you, the oversight for charms disposal will be more regulated from now on. I understand that you are also an advocate of an inspection system for charms before being released for retail?”

  “Very much so, Your Majesty. Just that would have prevented this disaster altogether.”

  She nodded, not surprised. “I’m in talks with my councilors at this time, discussing the best way to go about it, and the budget for it. I trust that within six months, we’ll have a rudimentary system in place.”

  A thrill of relief raced through me. For a government system, that was a very quick timeline indeed. She must be pushing hard to make it go through that quickly. “I’m relieved, Your Majesty. If I can be of any assistance, please do inform me.”

  “Oh, I will,” she promised dryly. “Seaton’s already volunteered you.”

  I shot my friend a look. “Of course he has.”

  Seaton snickered and looked innocently elsewhere. The fiend.

  “Your Majesty!” Warner greeted happily, practically skipping up to her. “How is my texting pad?”

  “Thankfully durable,” the queen responded with an airy laugh. “I dropped it three times this morning alone. You’re close to working out the kinks soon, I trust? This needs to be in the hands of my policemen sooner rather than later.”

  “Almost there,” Warner promised faithfully. “It’s just the battery power that’s giving me issues, but I think I’m close to a good breakthrough. You’re here for a tour, I take it? Here, let me show you, we came up with a process to clean and sanitize everything—”

  I stayed back as the women moved forward, Seaton hovering with me. “She’s really not pulling your leg about bringing you in for consultation on this,” Seaton advised me, dead serious. “I think it’s because we kept mentioning your name in connection with some solution.”

  Rolling my eyes to the heavens, I prayed for patience. “Seaton, absolutely nothing that I’ve done has been a permanent solution.”

  “Davenforth,” he returned, matching my tone, “you’re still the one who thought up the temporary solution and put it into practice, which buys us time to think up and implement permanent solutions.”

  “The reward for a job well done,” Jamie noted as she came to stand at my other side, “is more work. That’s well-known, no matter what world you’re in.”

  I wrinkled my nose slightly, as she smelled strongly of alcohol. “Apparently so. How many things have you cleaned?”

  “All the things, Henri,” she answered lightly. “All. It’s been a very productive day. I take it Ellie’s turned tour guide on us?”

  “They’re over there,” Seaton indicated with a general wave of the hand.

  Jamie nodded, unsurprised. “How upset is our good queen?”

  “Livid,” Seaton answered cheerfully. “I’m quite happy about that. Angry women often change the world.”

  “Never meddle with a woman on a mission,” Jamie agreed in the same manner, rubbing her hands together. “Well, gentlemen, don’t just stand around and look pretty. We’re not quite done yet. I found a whole stack of dead charms sitting in a closet under a stairwell.”

  I winced. “Great good magic, did you really? After I told everyone not to?”

  “I think they’d actually forgotten about this pile,” she admitted, already leading the way towards the apartment building in question. “It wasn’t until we went hunting for a good place to put the gallon bucket of alcohol for storage that we found it. Come along, Sherard, there’s a good chap. You
can’t make Henri deal with it by himself, he’d be here the rest of the day.”

  Seaton sighed gustily, trudging along in resignation. “I’m supposed to be escorting the queen.”

  Jamie didn’t even turn her head. “And you’ll do a splendid job of it when she wants to leave. Until then, Ellie and Marshall have her.”

  Sotto voice, I advised him, “Don’t argue. She, too, is a woman on a mission.”

  “I sensed that, yes,” he agreed wryly. “At least we’re nearly done with the cleanout here. I don’t think we’ll have any issues for some time to come.”

  Yes, that thought cheered me considerably. I didn’t want to ever come back here, in fact—although I was not naïve enough to think that people’s habits would change because of the disaster visited upon this area. Still, I had hope for the future, that we would not repeat this particular mistake. That bad charms would not accidentally kill people, or be sold again on the market, or that the magic meant to protect would instead cause great harm. I had great faith that all of that would change, and for the better.

  If nothing else, this case had been a simple lesson to me that I did not need to struggle alone under the weight of the problems I saw. I had a wealth of connections to draw strength from, including the remarkable woman who chose me as her friend and partner. And really, with her, could any problem be insurmountable?

  As if sensing my regard, she turned her head, pausing just outside of the doorway to the apartment complex. “Something wrong, Henri?”

  “Not at all,” I smiled at her as I said the words, meaning every syllable. “Not at all.”

  • Green Tea exists on this world! It’s brown, not green, but whatever. I’ll take it.

  • Parsley, cinnamon, and nutmeg acquired! My Kingstonpedia came through. Still hunting for a soy sauce substitute.

  • Do NOT GIVE CLINT LIQOR OR SUGAR WATER, OMG. THAT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA, NEVER AGAIN.

  • Also, “The song that never ends” is hereby BANNED from this house. Clint SANG IT FOR THREE HOURS STRAIGHT

  Days of the Week

  Earth – Draiocht

  Sunday – Gods Day

  Monday – Gather Day

  Tuesday – Brew Day

  Wednesday – Bind Day

  Thursday – Hex Day

  Friday – Scribe Day

  Saturday – Rest Day

  Months

  Earth – Draiocht

  January – Old Moon

  July – Hay Moon

  February – Snow Moon

  August – Corn Moon

  March – Crow Moon

  September – Harvest Moon

  April – Seed Moon

  October – Hunter’s Moon

  May – Hare Moon

  November – Frost Moon

  June – Rose Moon

  December – Blue Moon

  Werespecies: werehorses, wereowls, weremules, werefoxes

  Carmine berries: NOT A STRAWBERRY, JUST NO. CAN WE SAY GAG.

  The storyline for book two is interesting in its own right. It is, in fact, based upon real life cases. Specifically, I merged two different cases that happened in the early 1900’s. One of them was the first televised court case to ever air, and it happened in Waco, Texas. The ex-son-in-law of a Texas socialite used a car bomb to kill her. The other was an interesting case where only half of the murders were actually solved, and the other half was left a mystery. A doctor famous in town for having multiple girlfriends was murdered by his wife, who lived separated from him. The doctor’s office had the second story completely blocked off, and the clerk was found dead in the basement, although no one ever figured out if the wife had the clerk killed as well, or even why the man was murdered in the first place. The car bomb case came from Jason Lucky Morrow’s collections such as “Famous Crimes the World Forgot.” I quite adore this man’s work, as he really does his research, and he has a good writing style that makes it easy to read and captivates my inner imagination. I just wish he’d write another one, as I believe I’ve read everything of his at this point.

  Yes, I’m aware I’m rather the pot calling the kettle black right now. But in my defense, I DO write faster than he does!

  I’ll continue to do research on real-life cases, as I felt like doing so leant an air of realism to the book. The fact that I have fun researching cases has nothing at all to do with it.

  Other books by Honor Raconteur

  Published by Raconteur House

  ♫ Available in Audiobook! ♫

  THE ADVENT MAGE CYCLE

  Jaunten ♫

  Magus ♫

  Advent ♫

  Balancer ♫

  ADVENT MAGE NOVELS

  Advent Mage Compendium

  The Dragon’s Mage ♫

  The Lost Mage

  WARLORDS (ADVENT MAGE)

  Warlords Rising

  Warlords Ascending

  Warlords Reigning

  THE ARTIFACTOR SERIES

  The Child Prince ♫

  The Dreamer’s Curse ♫

  The Scofflaw Magician

  The Canard Case

  THE CASE FILES OF HENRI DAVENFORTH

  Magic and the Shinigami Detective

  Charms and Death and Explosions (oh my)

  DEEPWOODS SAGA

  Deepwoods ♫

  Blackstone

  Fallen Ward

  Origins

  FAMILIAR AND THE MAGE

  The Human Familiar

  The Void Mage

  Remnants

  Echoes

  GÆLDORCRÆFT FORCES

  Call to Quarters

  KINGMAKERS

  Arrows of Change ♫

  Arrows of Promise

  Arrows of Revolution

  KINGSLAYER

  Kingslayer ♫

  Sovran at War ♫

  SINGLE TITLES

  Special Forces 01

  Midnight Quest

  *Upcoming

  Dear Reader,

  Your Amazon reviews are very important. Reviews directly impact sales and book visibility, and the more reviews we have, the more sales we see. The more sales there are, the longer I get to keep writing the books you love full time. The best possible support you can provide is to give an honest review, even if it’s just clicking those stars to rate the book!

  Thank you for all your support! See you in the next world.

  ~Honor

  Honor Raconteur is a sucker for a good fantasy. Despite reading it for decades now, she’s never grown tired of the magical world. She likely never will. In between writing books, she trains and plays with her dogs, eats far too much chocolate, and attempts insane things like aerial dance.

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