Z14 (Zombie Rules)

by Achord, David

  “He’s a piece of work.” Julie said. “I think he’s a little off in the head from being stuck in the garage for so long.”

  “Is he going to stay?” Andie asked.

  “I don’t know. Tomorrow I’ll give him a few gallons of diesel after breakfast. He’ll probably move on.” Andie looked a little sad at the thought.

  Chapter 32 – Fred

  They drove back to the plane in silence. Sarah would occasionally glance over at Fred. He stared straight ahead, his features a sculpture of stone, unreadable. Sarah adeptly drove around obstacles, which included wrecked automobiles, corpses, and zombies. They arrived back at the airport without further incident. The sergeant and his girlfriend were nowhere to be seen.

  “I’m going to jump all in their ass.” Sarah said under her breath.

  Fred seemed to come to his senses. He grabbed the empty magazines and began hurriedly loading them. Sarah stopped the Humvee two hundred yards away from the C130 and scanned the surrounding area for any signs of life while Fred continued reloading.

  “What’s it looking like Sarah?” He asked quietly.

  “I don’t see anyone. The ramp is still down, but the start cart isn’t hooked up. There’s something not right here.”

  Fred didn’t respond immediately. He finished loading the magazines and looked ahead. “If you don’t mind putting up with some more John Wayne antics, I’d like for you to cover me from here while I go and check out the plane.” Fred saw Sarah about to object, but he stopped her with an upraised index finger. “I can stay here and provide cover if you like, but once you go inside the plane you will be on your own. I’m pretty decent with my six-shooters is the only reason I suggested going into the plane by myself, unless you have a better idea.”

  Sarah stopped before she voiced her objections and looked at Fred. She realized he made perfect sense, which surprised her, considering he was a man.

  “Alright, but how will I know if you’re in trouble?” She asked.

  “Well, if you hear me shooting, that’ll be a good indicator. Now, in case I run up on any people, I want to show you some hand signals I learned from a good friend.”

  Sarah drove the Humvee closer and stopped it a hundred yards away from their C130. Fred got out and walked the rest of the way with his M4 at the ready. It was a pleasant evening, with a light easterly breeze. The whole place smelled bad, which made it difficult trying to discern any distinct odors of nearby zombies. He edged his way onto the loading ramp and stopped a moment to let his eyes adjust to the dim light.

  “Sergeant, are you in here?” Fred asked the darkness. He was met by silence. He slowly worked his way through the plane and then slowly went up the stairs. He had climbed only a few steps when he heard a loud moaning. Fred thought he knew what it was, but still could not believe it when he walked into the cockpit. Both of them were buck naked.

  Sergeant Fandis was sitting in the pilot’s seat. His female soldier companion was straddling him. Her eyes were closed in ecstasy, and her breasts had a steady bobbing rhythm as she bounced up and down with the tenacity of the energizer bunny. Fandis looked back over his shoulder.

  “What in the hell are you two doing?” Fred asked.

  “Oh, hey Fred.” He said. The young sergeant’s companion stopped her bouncing and quickly covered her breasts with her arms. Her expression was that of a little girl getting caught playing doctor with the neighborhood boy.

  “For the love of God, will you two please get yourselves squared away? The Major is outside wondering what’s going on and we’ve got a long trip ahead of us.” Fred turned and walked out without waiting for a response. He stood in the rear of the plane and waited for a few minutes before stepping outside and waving Sarah to him.

  Chapter 33 – Rowdy

  Rowdy didn’t leave. In fact, he parked his bus beside the barn and declared himself the guest of honor. That was three days ago. During that time, he alternated between being drunk or hung over. This morning he was sitting at the kitchen table with us, holding his head with one hand and unsteadily holding his cup of coffee with the other.

  I watched him with growing irritation. Julie and Andie noticed my mood and made small talk with each other. I caught Julie glancing at me and gestured with my head. We were so close now it was like we could read each other’s minds.

  “C’mon Andie, let’s go check on Prancer.” Andie looked confused, but Julie grabbed her by the hand and they walked out.

  “Rowdy, it’s time you and me had a man-to-man talk.” I said. He set his coffee down and groaned.

  “Oh, Zach, not now.” He said with a groan.

  “I’m afraid so.” I replied. He glared at me with bloodshot eyes.

  “No offense kid, but I’m a grown ass man. How old did you tell me you are, seventeen?” He waved me off with a flick of his hand and sipped his coffee. “You’re all just a bunch of kids.”

  “For your information Rowdy, if you care to take a look around you’ll see that not only have us kids survived, but we have thrived in the face of almost overwhelming odds. Now, we’re going to have a little talk. I’ll do the talking, and you’ll do the listening.” He sighed heavily but finally nodded.

  “First, no more playing your guitar and caterwauling in the middle of the night. Sound carries at night, and you’re going to attract unwanted visitors to our doorstep.”

  Rowdy chortled. “I wasn’t caterwauling, I was serenading the ladies. And for your information, they’re interested. At least one of them was peeking at me out of the curtain last night.”

  “That was me. I was debating on whether or not to shoot you.”

  He looked at me and realized I was serious. He stopped grinning. “Oh.”

  “Second, you’re going to have to start pulling your weight around here if you plan on staying, and I’m not talking about singing for your supper. I’m talking about work ball busting work. There’s always something to do around here, and plenty of it.” Rowdy set the coffee down, held his head in his hands and groaned.

  “Third, you really need to cut down on your drinking. I can only imagine what you went through this past year, but believe me we all have our own stories.” He peeked at me to see if I was serious. I changed my tone. “I’m not saying quit completely, just slow it down. You drink yourself silly every night and then you feel like shit all day. It has to change. You’ve got to slow it down. Otherwise you’re going to kill yourself. ”

  He groaned again. “Anything else?”

  “Not at the moment, but there will be. I really need an extra hand around here, and I’d like for you to stay. But, if you don’t intend to pull your weight and help out, I’ll help you get your bus prepped and you can be on your merry way.” Rowdy smoothed his beard, leaned to one side, and let out a long watery fart.

  I glared at him. “You think this is a fucking joke? Fine, enjoy your coffee and then you’re out of here.” I started to stand up.

  “Oh, come on. It was a little funny.” Rowdy said with a grin. I continued glaring at him. His grin faltered, he sighed again and held up his hands in surrender.

  “Okay Mister Zach, I understand. It’s your way or the highway.” He stood and held out his hand. I shook it with no small amount of trepidation.

  “What’s the first thing on the agenda?” He asked.

  “Oh, let’s see, feed the livestock, check the fence lines, till up a garden plot, muck the chicken coop, gather eggs, feed the chickens, feed the rabbits, all of the usual farming chores. When we get finished, we’re going to build a greenhouse for the Allens.”

  He frowned. “All in one day?” He asked. I nodded. “Yeah, okay. I’m in, but I need to go to the bathroom first. I think I’ve shat myself.” He leaned forward and lowered his voice. “I would be most appreciative if you don’t tell the ladies.” He winked and hurried off to the restroom in a peculiar duck walk.

  I purposely worked hard and fast, if nothing else, to make Rowdy feel even worse than normal. I hoped it would convince h
im to slow down on the drinking. We worked until noon and took a quick ten minutes for lunch before starting on the greenhouse. It took until sundown to assemble it, but with all eight of us working, we got it completed. Afterward, we stood together admiring our work.

  “It’s real nice Zach.” Lashonda commented. I nodded. It was just the hull, but even so, I was proud of our accomplishment.

  “Howard can fabricate a small wood burning stove and you can start planting stuff right away. Come over and check out our greenhouse and get an idea of what you want to grow. We’ve also got Fred’s greenhouse that Julie has been maintaining. He won’t mind if you borrow some plants. When the weather gets warmer, we’ll add some concrete footings to bolt it down to.” Howard and Lashonda nodded appreciatively.

  “Alright.” I said. “Speaking of Fred’s place, Rowdy and I are going to check on it.” I looked at Julie.

  “I’ll see you two back home, okay?” Julie nodded and glanced at Andie without emotion. She knew what I was doing. I was trying to get them to become friends. She walked over and gave me a kiss, which was nice, but she also goosed me in the ribs, her way of telling me she knew what I was doing.

  “Rowdy, there are some things I need to tell you about.” I said once we arrived at Fred’s. I spent the next hour bringing him up to speed as we inspected Fred’s house. Rowdy listened without interrupting. When I finished, he scratched at his beard thoughtfully.

  “You killed Barry and Eli?” He asked.

  “No, Julie killed Barry. We took Macie back to the house, and then I went back and found Eli. He was wounded, but still alive.”

  “And then you killed him?” I nodded.

  “Have you killed others? I mean, besides zombies, have you killed other people?” I told him about the ambush and the cannibals, but left out some of the other ones. He nodded thoughtfully.

  “Okay.” He finally said. “You’re leaving something out. Why did Andie come back with you? Seems to me you would have killed her or left her, not bring her home with you.” I thought a moment how to phrase my answer to his question.

  “The Captain, um, he had done some terrible things to her, so she asked to come live with us.” Rowdy frowned and looked at me, expecting me to elaborate.

  “If she wants to tell you about it, I’m sure she will.” I said.

  “Okay, I understand.” He finally said while scratching his beard again, which he seemed to do frequently. “This Captain, is he going to blame you for his two men being killed?”

  “I’ve no doubt he will. He’s also probably going to figure out that Andie is with us, and he’ll not be happy about it.”

  “And this Fred guy, he’s off somewhere searching for his daughter, and y’all don’t even know if he’s still alive?” I nodded. He scratched some more.

  “I’m having some difficulty getting my head wrapped around all of this.” He finally said.

  “I understand, but I want to make sure you are aware of what is going on. It’s a different world now. I could use your help, but I totally understand if you want to move on and try to get back to Alabama.”

  “So, what are you going to do about the Captain?” Rowdy asked.

  I shook my head. “I honestly don’t know. Andie said he is meeting with some soldiers in a couple of days. I really want to be there ahead of time, stake it out and listen in on the meeting, but there are wild dog packs roaming around here. I’d hate for them to find me out in the open.”

  Rowdy grimaced at the thought. “Yeah, that’d sure ruin your day.”

  I snapped my fingers at a detail I’d forgotten and motioned for Rowdy to follow me to the barn. Fred had traps hanging on the wall.

  “As much as I hate to do it, we’re going to need to set these out. We ran into a pack of those feral dogs not too long ago. It was pretty large, large enough to take down two or three of us. We need to kill them off.” I thought about Moe and it tore at my heart.

  Rowdy held up one of the traps and nodded approvingly. “I understand. Okay, I just have one other question. Is Andie single and available?” He looked at me with a hopeful grin.

  I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Yes, she’s single. But, as for being available, she’s probably not in a good place emotionally right now. My advice would be to take it slow and be nice to her. She deserves to be treated nice.” I felt no need to tell him she had hit on me a couple of times. If Andie wanted him to know, she could tell him herself.

  “Do you think she’d be interested in me?” Rowdy asked. “I mean, I’m fully aware of how devilishly handsome I am, and most women find me irresistible, but some women are funny, and I don’t mean ha-ha funny.” I shook my head and walked to the truck.

  Julie and I had our usual bedtime conversation while lying in each other’s arms. I told her of the two conversations with Rowdy.

  “How do you think he’s going to work out?” She asked.

  “I think he’ll be okay, although I strongly suspect one day he’ll get itchy feet and bid farewell. Knowing him, he’ll do it with a song.” Julie chuckled quietly.

  “He’s certainly a piece of work.” She said.

  “He asked me if Andie was available.”

  “What’d you say?” She asked. I told her my response. She snuggled closer to me. “Good. Maybe she’ll take an interest in him and stop with this crush she has on you.”

  “I don’t think it’s that bad.” I said. Julie scoffed. “Okay, so, we can help play matchmaker then.”

  “Good idea.” She said.

  “Julie, I’ve never asked directly, but I’ve always wondered why you were okay with me and Macie. You even encouraged it.”

  “That was different.”

  “But how?” I asked.

  “Because, I was in love with her too.” She whispered. “All three of us were in love with each other, Zach.” I listened as her breathing changed, indicating she had fallen asleep, and thought of what she said. I realized that it made sense in its own quirky way.

  Chapter 34 – A Most Unpleasant Radio Conversation

  “Zach!” Andie shouted. I came running out of the barn and met Andie, who was running toward me. She was out of breath and frightened. Rowdy emerged from the front door and stood on the porch. He shrugged unknowingly.

  “I swear, Zach, I didn’t do anything.” Andie said. “I was just showing Rowdy the radio.”

  “Alright Andie, calm down and tell me what’s going on.” Julie peered out of the barn with her M4 in hand.

  “The Captain, he’s on the radio calling for you.” She said.

  “Did you say anything to him?” I asked pointedly. She quickly shook her head. Julie came up beside me.

  “What are you going to do?” She asked. Andie looked at me expectantly. Rowdy was rubbing his belly as if he was wondering when lunch was going to be served. My watch showed me it was right at noon, the time we used to speak to each other. I looked at Julie and shrugged.

  “I guess I’ve got to speak to him sooner or later, may as well be now.” We went inside and I sat in front of the radio.

  “Go ahead, Captain.” I said into the microphone.

  “Well, there you are. Is there a reason why you’ve been avoiding me Zach? Perhaps you’ve done something wrong toward me?” His tone was unfriendly, condescending.

  “On the contrary, it is you who has done me a terrible wrong. Quite frankly, I have nothing to say to you, nor do I care to speak to you anymore.”

  “You killed two of my men you fucking ungrateful punk.” He growled.

  “They were planning to ambush me, you pompous ass.” I responded.

  “I had nothing to do with that.”

  “Your men, your responsibility.” I said curtly. He didn’t quite know how to respond to my assertion, so he changed the subject.

  “Where’s Andie?” He demanded.

  “Wherever she wants to be. For your information, she’s nobody’s slave, especially not yours.”

  “You listen to me close, boy. You owe me for the
deaths of two of my soldiers and you better tell Andie if she knows what’s good for her, she’ll get her ass back home.”

  “And you listen to me, Captain.” I said in a low tone. “You owe me for your boys murdering Macie.” There was a long moment of silence before he responded.

  “You’re lying.” He waited. When I didn’t respond, he continued. “I didn’t authorize them to kill anyone.”

  “It sounds to me like you don’t have very good command of your boys.” I said. “They were planning on ambushing me when I was supposed to meet with Andie. Out of respect for you, I sent Julie and Macie to meet with her instead.” Okay, the respect part was a small lie, but he had no way of knowing it.

  “So, Macie and Julie meet with Andie instead of me. Your boys see the two girls, my two girls, and they attempted to kidnap them. Macie was shot and murdered by your boy, Barry. Because of that, they paid the price, Captain. They were under your command, and therefore their actions are a reflection of you. You’re responsible.”

  “You should have reported this to me rather than taking the law into your own hands.” He said evenly.

  “And in the meantime let them do God knows what to Julie? You must be out of your fucking mind.” I looked at the radio for a moment before continuing. “Captain, I want no further contact with you. I know where you live now and I give you my word I will not trespass. But know this, if I see any of you or any of your boys anywhere near my property, I’ll consider it a hostile act and kill them on sight. This conversation is over.” I turned the radio off while he was ranting. I felt Julie’s hand on my shoulder and realized I was shaking. I looked up at her.

  “Well that went well.” I tried to smile but didn’t do a good job of it.

  Later, the four of us ate dinner in an uneasy silence. Finally, Rowdy spoke.