Forgiving Love (The Soul Sisters Series Book 2)

by Victoria Johns

  “What part of start talking is not clear to you?”

  “I don't have to tell you anything, you shouldn’t even be here and you certainly shouldn’t be going through my stuff.”

  “I’m going to ask you one more time and if you don’t answer I’ll get back in my truck and head over to Oli’s place and start asking your boss the same questions.”

  Shit.

  I can’t have that. That would be a disaster because Steven told me to back off and take a vacation. I’ve gone against his express order and I’ve also photocopied confidential information that is copyrighted. This could put my job on the line.

  There’s only one thing for it, I am going to have to distract him.

  “Chris, why are you really here?” I whisper in my best innocent girl voice.

  “I want to sort things out between us. I miss you being in my life. Even if it’s only as a friend. I miss your smile and craziness. I wanted to apologize, I know I’ve fucked things up, huge. I know I keep fucking them up but I need you in my life Neely.”

  “Wow, impressive. Lots of words on a topic you’ve managed to avoid for a long time.”

  “I’m not good with this shit Neels, you know that. There’s a reason I’m a hook up guy whore as you refer to me.” He’s diverting his eyes away from me as if he’s embarrassed and this makes me feel guilty.

  “Why did you do it? Why did you treat me the way you did that night?”

  “I... look we can get into that another time.”

  “Oh, so when the conversation gets tough or too personal you clam up again and avoid it. If you didn’t come over to really sort this out then why are you here?”

  “Neely, lunch,” Dad shouts, “Let’s hustle girl before your mom hunts us down.” He comes in through the door of the granny flat, “Hey Chris, sorry Neels, I didn’t realize you had company. How are you son? No, wait, don’t answer that you’ll only have to go over it again at lunch for Maiara.”

  “What?”

  “He’s here now, he can join us for lunch, and it’s been ages since we’ve seen you. Come on let’s go.”

  I glare at Chris willing him to call this to an end, to take my hints and go home, because he’s making me uncomfortable. He says nothing and indicates I should go before him and follow my dad.

  We arrive at the main house and dad shouts, “Maiara, put another plate out Chris is here, I’ve asked him to join us,” when we actually get into the kitchen she’s already doing as he asked.

  Chris goes to say hi to my mom and I grab my dad, “Why would you do that, you know I’m busy?”

  “Go easy on him and don't mention it, you can thank me later,” he says.

  “Thank you for what?”

  “I know your work involves him and this way you’ve not told him, he’s looking at things for himself. Now you have nothing to feel conflicted about, if he finds out on his own, you are not responsible.” I don’t answer his remark, it’s not that simple, but Chris’s discovery will soon mean that Steven will also find out and then the fun will really begin.

  Mom has finished adding the extra place setting to the table and we all head to the kitchen table as she starts laying out the food. The table is full with a basket of bread, platter of cold meats, a salad bowl with dressings and a plate of cheeses.

  My mind is occupied with wondering how long he was in the granny flat, I have no clue how much time he could have been rooting through the papers on the table so I need to play this by ear until I can figure that out.

  As we start to tuck in, dad pours my mom and me a chilled glass of wine whilst he and Chris have a beer. If this whole situation wasn’t so weird it would be nice and Chris looks far too at home for this not to strike me somewhere deep and it hurt a little.

  “It’s been a long time since we’ve seen or heard from you Chris, you must be busy at the ranch?” my mom says, subtle as a sledgehammer.

  “Yes, things are busy and I’ve had some bits and pieces going on but I won’t leave it so long again Mrs Prince.” He’s busy filling his plate whilst he responds but I know my mom’s point has hit home.

  “Oh Chris, call me Maiara, you’re not that cute respectable teenager anymore, wait, that’s not true actually. You are still cute, I’m just not sure about the respectable bit and you’re certainly no teenager.” I gulp back a load of wine too quickly and end up coughing, I cannot believe my mother just said that too him. What the hell has gotten into her?

  “Mom!”

  “No, she’s right Neely, factually anyway. I’m not a teenager and I take her word for it that I’m cute but clearly I have some work to do on the respectable front.”

  “That may be the case Chris, but my wife doesn’t need to be so blunt about it,” says my dad making his point too.

  “I just hear things about town and you’re still a guy in demand, even if you’re supposed to be friends with Polly Vans.”

  I’m mortified. This is not acceptable lunch conversation or behavior from my mom who should know better. “You know what,” I say placing my cutlery down, “I’ve got things to do and as fun as this odd lunch isn’t turning out to be, I think I’ll pass and get on with it.”

  Chris is now rising from the table, “No Neely, it’s OK, you stay and enjoy lunch with your folks. I should be getting back to the ranch.”

  “Enough guys, no one is leaving lunch until we are finished. Topics of people’s reputations and friendships clearly make for indigestion; so let’s just leave those alone.” My dad’s word is final.

  Lunch proceeds as normal as it possibly can after my mom’s chastising of Chris, both of us trying to leave and my dad having a rare moment where he feels the need to put his foot down. We all eat and make silly attempts at chit chat and use the food as something to keep our mouths occupied instead of bitching. The only time anyone genuinely smiles and gets involved willingly is when the conversation moves to Jonas and Dolly’s twins. They’ve been a happy addition to all our lives, but they also provide the next jaw dropping comment from my mom, “I can’t wait for grandbabies Neely. You need to settle down and get on with it.”

  I drop my loaded forkful of food whilst Dad mumbles, “Oh shit,” to himself. It’s loud enough for us all to hear and Chris acts like no one has said anything.

  My mom, who is not keen on being ignored, sallies forth in her endeavor, “Do you see yourself with a family Chris?”

  “Yes Maiara, I’m just waiting for the girl of my dreams to get on board and join the party.”

  What!

  “It sounds like you’ve already found her?” I am going to KILL my mother. Parenticide is a real crime and I will remind her of this.

  “I think I have, she’s just taking some convincing.”

  “Well Chris you clearly need to try harder.” Jesus Christ, I can do without her being on his side.

  “I think you’re right Maiara.” Chris responds to her, but is looking at me. I’ve had enough of this, time to bring out bitchy Neely.

  “I can’t imagine Polly’s taking that much convincing, she’s usually so close to you she’s like a second skin.”

  Yep. That did it. I watch as his jaw locks in an effort to remain polite and not argue with me in front of my parents. I’ve made my point and seeing as my parents aren’t stupid they know that I’ll keep going, which also means this time they won’t stop me when I make my attempt to leave. “Anyway, I have things to do, lovely lunch folks, Mom save me a slice of whatever is for desert. I’ll see you both later for dinner. Chris, see you around.” I get up and leave. A small part of me feels embarrassed that I’ve just been a total bitch to him and then left him with my parents.

  I’m also hoping that this time he’ll understand where my head is at and leave me alone.

  *****

  Chris

  Embarrassed does not even begin to describe it. I’m not really mad at Neely, I deserve it. I deserve everything she throws at me.

  Her folks are good people and they’re not going to be happ
y with her settling for second best, which is exactly what I am. I am definitely not good enough for her.

  I politely decline my desert because I don’t want to put myself through anymore shame. I have effectively been ditched at a lunch date that I didn’t instigate by the girl whose childhood home I am currently sitting in.

  Fucking shameful.

  “I’ll load the dishwasher Maiara,” says Mark, Neelys dad, cleverly removing himself from the room, giving his wife the chance to berate me further. I know I should let her get it off her chest, but now it’s my turn.

  “Maiara, thanks for the invite to lunch, it was nice to see both you and Mark again, but things took a turn I wasn’t expecting.”

  “Oh really and what turn would that be?” she fakes miscomprehension brilliantly.

  “Do I need to spell it out for you?” She’s not going to make me say it to her, I won’t.

  “I don't know, do you?” Fuck, she’s not letting up.

  “OK. It’s obviously not lost on you that there are some issues in my friendship with Neely. I’m trying to put those right and in all honesty, floundering at all my attempts, but pressuring me to answer questions in front of her about grandchildren is really not helping. That said, I’m desperate enough and determined to sort this out, enough to ask for help. What can I do?” The last words leave me on an exhale and sound like the plea they are.

  “Finally,” she says, “at last.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “The Christopher Hales I know does not cower from people who question his reputation. The Christopher Hales I know does not run because a strong girl pushes him away. The Christopher Hales I know is confident in his actions, his skin and his beliefs. He’s confident enough that he is able to run a huge ranch that this town is proud of. The Christopher Hales I know is determined enough to get what he wants at all costs. He is the guy who saved his childhood friend from missing out on being with the girl he loved. He’s the guy my daughter says dropped everything to go and save a friend during a really bad time. He’s the guy my daughter was convinced was the guy for her.”

  “What?” Fucking seriously. She did not just tell me that.

  “Tell me Chris, if you’re seriously giving up right now in your efforts and believe you are really out of ideas on how to win my daughter, then do you think you’re the guy I want her to be with?”

  “But...”

  “Don’t answer me now, think on what I’ve said. I’ll leave you with one thing, my momma always said if you get given stuff freely and without effort, it will lose its appeal and won’t mean as much to you. But if you work hard, fight for it, earn it and be the winner at the end of the game then you’ll spend your life appreciating what you’ve earned and fight to make sure it stays yours for eternity. When you can show me that my daughter means that much to you, you’ll have my blessing. Until then you’re not the guy I thought you were and you’re not worthy of sharing the life of that strong girl I raised.”

  She gets up and leaves me at the table with a clear sign that I've been dismissed.

  I know everything she’s told me is true. The easy girls I have and get any night of the week don't value themselves enough to be more than an easy fuck, they’re not for me. This is why I toss them aside, because it’s easy come, easy go.

  I’m a fucking idiot.

  If I had any idea that Neely felt differently about me and wasn’t just using me like all the other women I’ve had, then I would never have gone there.

  Her not being in my life has made me realize what I've been missing all along. She wasn’t a game player, she was the prize to be fought for, she was the fucking prize that makes the victory sweet.

  I need to put this right.

  She still sees me as the guy who hurt and used her. I need to be the Chris I’ve been hiding from her. The Chris she wants.

  The one who wants her.

  The one who loves her.

  I hustle my way out of the main house and head for the little granny flat.

  No excuses from her this time, she is going to listen to me.

  I don’t even bother knocking on her door. I burst in because I am determined to do this and when I do I find her standing in the living room, but she’s not alone. My attention is quickly drawn to Jonas who is with her and how they both immediately stop talking. It’s a suspicious silence that is uncomfortable for me.

  What the fuck.

  The girl I love and my best mate are having little secret conversations, what the fuck is going on?

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Well if the stuff I found before wasn’t interesting enough, I think this is. It seems that lots of intriguing things happen in this little granny flat,” says Chris who glares at me but stays put by the door. He crosses his strong arms over his chest like he means business, although I have no idea what that business is.

  “Fuck,” mumbles Jonas.

  “So which one of you is going to start and right now I only want two answers. Why are you here without your wife? And why is all the shit about my ranch on your kitchen table?”

  Shit. Fuck. Shit

  Does he think there is something dodgy going on with me and Jonas?

  No. He can’t possibly think that, but Jonas isn’t saying anything and if he isn’t, then neither am I.

  “I’m waiting and I’m going to be honest your silence speaks loud and clear,” neither Jonas or I say anything, so he continues on his crazy thought train, “right...”

  “Chris I...”

  “Neely shut the fuck up,” snaps Jonas, thank God. He’s going to intervene and put this nonsense to rest. I wait a few more seconds looking at Jonas but he doesn’t say anything to sort this out, he doesn’t continue at all.

  Chris begins to shake his head in dismay, “I’m leaving because you two make me fucking sick. You’ve got kids man, Dolly will be fucking devastated and you,” he glares at me, “to think I wanted to be with you. Seems like it takes a guy whore to know a real fucking whore. You disgust me. I don’t want to see you again. Ever. Jonas, you’ve got twenty four hours to shut this shit down or I’ll be having a chat with your wife.” He turns and walks out, slamming the front door on the granny flat as he storms through it.

  “Jonas, what the hell? You could have butted in at any time and shut him up,” I scream.

  “Calm down Neely, he’ll be fine and don’t worry about Dalton, she knows what I’m working on. Which is why I’m here, Ross called me going berserk because he caught you nosing around a tunnel entrance on Chris’s land. What the fuck were you thinking?”

  “What’s it got to do with you?” I snap back at him.

  “I’ll tell you what it’s got to do with me. I’m his fucking town liaison back into his agency. I’m the guy who originally got the intel that the Vans were up to something but I couldn’t do any investigation for them because I’m too well known in town. I’m also the guy who’s watching Chris’s back to make sure he’s steering wide of whatever shit is going down and is not in Henry Van’s radar apart from his stupid whatever it is with Polly.”

  “What? Why don’t I know this?”

  “Need to fucking know Neely and you’ve just gone and added more complications I don’t need. Tell me, how am I supposed to keep an eye on him and keep him safe when he thinks I’m fucking you? I’ll not get near him now. Ross is going to be pissed. So now I’m also the guy that has to tell a government agent that you did not back off and you’ve got half the research material lying around, I’m also the guy that has to break this ridiculous news of a suspicious affair to his wife.”

  “Shit,” is all I can come up with.

  “I’ll fucking sort this, but you need to back the fuck off this case Neely. Ross was not joking when he said it was dangerous. It is fucking dangerous. They do not bring in undercover government people to bust up some small time crime shit. We are talking serious deep crime shit. Now I’m going to do you a favor and take all this stuff away and lock it where you can’t get your hands
on it.” He begins to gather it up when his phone starts to ring.

  “Yeah,” is what he says when he answers it, “Yeah, I’m with her. Yeah I’ve told her but there was a complication though. Chris was here and he’s seen all the research shit that Neely decided to bring home with her. His interest is piqued. We may need to consider bringing him in on this. OK, later man.” He says that then hangs up. “Damn, fucking shit,” he says to himself, still grabbing papers, “I come here and do the guy a favor and now my best mate thinks I’m fucking around on my woman with his girl.”

  “What?” I ask him.

  “Nothing, Neely forget it. One good thing about the fact that he thinks we’re stepping out, is he forgot his enquiries about all of this nonsense. Look just stay low and on vacation, like you were supposed to.”

  It’s clear he’s not going to answer me and my face falls with the events that have happened, he can tell this afternoon’s debacle has affected me. “Look Neely, Chris is a complex guy, I know this because I’m a complex guy. He doesn’t mean what he just said and he’ll come around when he realizes there is a reason for this. Sit tight, OK?”

  All that is easy for him to say, he’s not the one feeling shit. I let Jonas leave without answering him, a slight nod is all I can manage. I am on the edge of letting this consume me.

  After he goes, it engulfs me. My tears flow freely like rivers of hurt. They’re sad tears for the all the time I’ve spent pining over Chris, they’re lonely tears because I just don’t see any end to this cycle of my single life and they’re devastating tears because the guy I wanted to be with said unspeakable things to me and said he never wanted to see me again. Each tear that falls is like a sledge hammer to my heart.

  I’ve let Chris play with my feelings before and I let him off the hook before for treating me like a cheap slut. I hid how I really felt for the sake of our group friendship and dynamic and where has it got me?

  Fucking nowhere.

  I am the hated one when I did nothing wrong but take a chance, my chance, with a guy I wanted to be with. He thinks the absolute worst of me and all because I’m trying to help him save his ranch, his livelihood and the place he chose when he could have left, our town and community.