Interrupted (The Progress Series)

by Queau, Amy

  “I couldn’t! I tried and failed. And…I respected him enough to not get us both in a deeper mess than we had already managed to create for ourselves. I didn’t see any other option at the time.”

  “And now? Oh Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. So young. This makes me sad. You could have avoided all of this heartache. So here we are, at four o’clock in the morning and you can barely keep the tears from flowing. So, what happens now? Where is he?”

  “Gone. He moved out of state. I’ll probably never see him again.”

  “Well, it’s your fault. I don’t mean to be a bitch, but if he wanted you to stay that night, he wanted more than just a one-night stand. He probably left town because of you.”

  *

  Charlie dreaded having that morning off. It was more time to think and less time being distracted. She had to have a plan to keep her mind from being sidetracked.

  After finishing the entire bowl of popcorn, she showered and exercised. She opted to play a CD other than Progress, because it only gave her a stomach ache.

  I don’t think chick flicks are going to work; this morning was horrible. Just when I thought I didn’t have a single emotion left in me, I was sobbing like a baby. No, no chick flicks. I could drink and smoke cigarettes… nope, that’s probably not going to work either; I’d be a hot mess. I could call Angie, but she’d just tell me ‘I told you so, Charlie.’ Oh, maybe I should draw! Time flies when I’m drawing! Bingo.

  She took three pain killers due to the night prior and dug out her canvas paper to start sketching. Several times during the day, she considered looking at the clock, but never did. She decided to listen to her body and eat when it was hungry and smoke when it demanded one.

  She was engrossed in her artwork. Her favorite sketches were female studies. The soft curves, the feminine facial features, and her past desire to be one of the beautiful people all made the efforts worth the time she spent on them.

  That day, Charlie completed sixteen female nudes before her evening shift.

  *

  Every one of them portrayed her night with Jesse.

  Chapter Four

  Saturday night was approaching faster than she had anticipated. She had less than one day to figure out what she was going to wear, how she’d fix her hair, and whether or not it was even considered a date to begin with.

  Ugh. Sometimes I hate being a girl.

  “Hey Charlie, you’re cut,” Karal said.

  “Thanks.”

  “How are you doing? Did you ever get to talk to Jesse before he left?”

  “Nope.”

  Karal tilted her head to one side in sympathy. “Do you want to hang out tonight after work, just me and you? We can grab a bottle of wine and chat at my place? I’ll get out of here in about forty-five minutes,” Karal said.

  “Sure. I’ll finish up my side work and come over after I run home and change,” said Charlie.

  “Great! See you in an hour or so.”

  Charlie completed her work and punched out. She was feeling better than she had in the past two weeks because of Karal’s invitation. She now had a plan to be distracted that night, instead of dwelling on Jess.

  *

  Feeling resilient after two glasses of wine, Charlie and Karal stepped onto the balcony for a cigarette.

  “Oh! The cold feels good,” Charlie said, lifting her face to the stars with her eyes closed. Breathing deeply, she let out a small shiver. She reached into her coat pocket and fished out a cigarette.

  “It is way too cold out here. I sure do miss my cabin right about now,” said Karal.

  The abrupt thought of Karal’s cabin made Charlie drop her wine glass. It shattered three stories below them with a resounding crack on the pavement.

  She flashed back to her confident stroll toward the water, sticking her middle finger up in the moonlight toward Angie. She thought about the first time she saw Jesse that evening, his head tipped downward in shame for stalking her at the cabin. Then her mind overflowed with thoughts about their conversation on the beach, his confessions, his tone, his demeanor, and all of the things she adored about him. One by one, the things that made him tragic, strong, vulnerable, alive, and passionate came flooding back from her memory.

  For the first time since Jess left, Charlie cried for him. She fell to the balcony floor and wrapped her arms around her knees, sobbing.

  “Oh my gosh, Charlie! The glass wasn’t that important! I have five more.”

  He hates me! I tore this poor man apart. He trusted me. He wanted me to stay. I left a beautiful, broken, naked man in his bed begging me to stay with him. I’m a horrible person. I’m nothing. I’m so stupid. I’m so selfish.

  “Charlie, get up. You’re sitting in a pile of snow. What’s going on? Is this about Jess?” asked Karal.

  Charlie stood and they walked back into the apartment. She sat down on the couch and covered herself with a blanket. She tried to talk between gasps, but realized none of it made sense, so she stopped trying.

  He was so important to me. He taught me everything I know about myself. You’re such a selfish little bitch.

  Karal made her a cup of tea and set it on the coffee table. By that point, most of Charlie’s crying was under control.

  “Can you talk to me now?” Karal asked, sitting next to Charlie on the couch.

  “I’m an ass,” Charlie blurted out.

  Karal handed her a tissue. “No you’re not. Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

  “I don’t even know where to start.”

  “What happened between you two?”

  *

  For the next hour, Charlie attempted to sum up the relationship she had with Jess. She told Karal about the last night they spent together and all the things he said to her. She tried to explain what she was thinking and why she left him that night. How she felt liberated and strong, and how she had felt that if she stayed it would have only kept them in the same frenzied cycle. Having been miserable since he left, she wasn’t sure if she had made the right decision.

  When Charlie was done, Karal threw herself back onto the couch. “Whew. That is quite the story, Charlie.”

  After taking another tissue from the box on the table, Charlie wiped her nose and eyes.

  “So let me get this straight. It was because of your friendship with Jess that you were strong enough to walk away from a guy like him. Ha, brilliant.” Karal turned to face Charlie and saw a fresh tear fall. “So what? Maybe you are an ass. Maybe you should be with him someday. But you made your choice, and it made sense to you at the time. Now is not the time that you and Jess are supposed to be together. Everything happens for a reason,” Karal said.

  “I just wish I could apologize…”

  “You already did, in the voicemail you left him. He could have called you. He could have come to see you. He knows where you live, where you work, and the places you go. If he’s pissed off at you, that’s his problem. You tried. He didn’t.”

  “Oh God, Karal. Did I screw this up?”

  Karal laughed and shook her head. “No. I personally love the fact that the bastard got what he deserved; a taste of his own medicine. I love a good boomerang story. But you can’t dwell on the “what ifs.” You just have to accept what happened and learn from it. You can have your time to grieve, but eventually you’ll see that what’s done is done. If you ever see him again, you can waste all the time you want with apologies, but I’m sure that with time he’ll understand what happened that night and why you did what you did.”

  God, I hope you’re right.

  “Thank you,” Charlie said, giving her a hug.

  “For what?”

  “For tonight; inviting me over, your advice. I guess I just needed someone to talk to.”

  “Anytime,” Karal said smiling. “Do you want to crash here tonight?”

  “No, I shouldn’t.” Thinking about her morning routine and the things she needed to take care of before her shift caused her to think about Samuel. “Oh shit, I have a
date tomorrow! Crap. I’m just going to call him and cancel,” Charlie said, covering her face.

  “You will do no such thing! Who is this guy?”

  “He’s a friend from college. I actually don’t even know if it’s a date. I don’t have anything to wear…”

  “See, Charlie, this is what I am talking about. Accept what happened with Jess and learn from it. It’s time to move on. He’s gone. Even if Mr. College isn’t the man you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, he is an important stepping stone. Go out with him and for crying out loud, have fun!” Karal said.

  Charlie sniffed and a smile escaped.

  Chapter Five

  Charlie continued to waver back and forth from feeling proud for closing a chapter in her life and the enormous guilt rattling in her mind over whether she had made the right choice for both of them. She felt like she was picking up pieces of herself scattered throughout her environment: at work, she had left her brain; at home, she had left her peace of mind; in her car, she had left her spirit. She tried to scoop them all up, one by one, and assemble them enough to appear pulled-together for her date. She felt incomplete and outside of herself.

  Her phone rang. “Hello?”

  “Hi, it’s Sam. Are we still on for tonight?” he asked.

  “Yes. Actually, I got into work and they didn’t need me, so I’ll be sitting around until eight o’clock gets here. Can you still make it?”

  “Hell yes I can! I just got off work. If you want to meet up sooner, just give me thirty minutes to take a shower,” he said. “Would you like me to pick you up?”

  Oh. Um, maybe? No, probably not.

  “I can just meet you there. Say, around seven?” she said.

  “Great. I’ll see you then.”

  “Bye.”

  *

  Charlie arrived at the restaurant fifteen minutes early. She sat in her car and lit a cigarette, listening to the radio.

  Clear your head, Charlie. Keep this simple. And whatever you do, don’t mention Jess. This is a first date. There are rules. I think.

  While exhaling her last drag, she heard a knock on her window. Startled, she turned to see who it was. She rolled down her window.

  “You’re early,” Sam said.

  She smiled, “So are you.”

  He nudged his head toward the restaurant. “C’mon, let’s go get some wings.”

  They entered the restaurant and the only seats available were at the bar. They pulled up two stools and sat down.

  “I’ve never been here before. There’s got to be over fifty televisions in this place,” she said.

  “You’ve never been here? How is that possible?” he asked.

  “I’m not a fan of spicy.”

  Rolling his eyes, he let out a laugh. “Why did you agree to come to a wing place if you don’t like wings?”

  “Don’t they have other things on the menu?” She opened up the menu and panned her options. “Okay, maybe they don’t. But, I like beer.”

  “Why don’t we go someplace else, then? I want you to eat something.”

  “I’ll try the wings, it’s fine. Besides, if I don’t like them, then I won’t be adding any more inches to my ass.” She giggled, trying to ignore his glance downward.

  They ordered their beers and wings and Charlie guzzled half her beer within minutes.

  “Are you nervous about something?” he asked.

  “Why do you ask that?”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman drink like that.”

  Embarrassed, she set her mug down on the bar. “Kind of. Perhaps you can clarify something for me,” she said. He leaned in closer, urging her to continue. She took a deep breath before she spoke again. “It’s been over five years since I saw you last. We didn’t talk a ton in college, so I’m not quite sure how to read you. So I’m just going to ask—is this a date-date, or just two old friends hanging out?”

  A smile emerged along with a quick laugh. “I’m glad you’re asking me this question, because I wasn’t sure what you thought this was. I am considering this a date.”

  Charlie nodded and took a deep breath. “Then, please forget that I mentioned anything about adding inches to my ass earlier. That was inappropriate for a date.”

  Stupid. Stupid.

  Samuel let out a quick laugh. “Don’t worry, Charlie. Believe me when I tell you…your ass is doing just fine.”

  A sheepish grin emerged and she shook her head. “Sorry, I’m not very used to this. I have to be honest with you: I have…limited experience with dating.” She felt a little silly in her admission, nervously tugging at her ear and avoiding eye contact.

  “Its fine, Charlie. Would it make you feel better if I told you I was nervous, too?”

  She gave him a smile. “Yeah, I guess it does make me a feel a little better.”

  She tipped her head upward and glanced at his face. A small smile hinted at the corners of his blue eyes and he looked away.

  “So, tell me what you do for a living,” she said.

  “Well, after college I was a graphic designer for a while. But the economy squashed that quickly, especially for an entry level graphic artist. So, I started my own business. I started designing CD covers for local bands and began writing for a marketing blog in the local online newspaper.”

  “A writer, too?”

  “Just my thoughts on marketing strategies for small businesses, artists and freelancers. It’s volunteer right now, but it looks good on a résumé.”

  “A résumé? I haven’t had one of those since school. I’ve been gathering as many temporary part-time jobs as I can handle. I’m a real go-getter,” she said, laughing at the contradiction of their work ethics.

  “Speaking of school, I meant to ask you, why the change? I mean, you were always the pretty, quiet girl in the corner. You took me by quite the surprise when I saw you at The Crimson the first time; you were charging through that front door like, I don’t know, you had just heard that Seals and Crofts were no longer a band.”

  How does he know I like Seals and Crofts? Could he have remembered that from college? And pretty? I was the PRETTY girl in the corner?

  “Wow. I guess we talked more in college than I can remember. How did you know I liked Seals and Crofts?” she asked, slightly amused.

  He chewed the inside of his mouth, smirking, concealing something.

  “I just remember you saying something about the song Summer Breeze once, that’s all. I remember going home and looking them up because I had never heard of them. No one likes Seals and Crofts, Charlie. No one in our generation, anyway.”

  He remembers that?

  Charlie could tell he was hiding something, but she remembered that there were “rules” to first dates, so she decided not to press him about it. Staying light and unintrusive was the best thing.

  “Oh, that’s right. You dated…oh, what was her name…Amber! You were together for quite a while, if I remember correctly. What ever happened to her?”

  “I’m not sure,” he replied with little interest. “She ended up being a ‘Becky.’”

  “I’m sorry, a what?”

  “Oh, a Becky. That’s what I call the girls who are just like the others. You know, like the red-shirt regulars on Star Trek.” After seeing the confusion on Charlie’s face, he continued, “Oh, not a Trekky? Okay, how do I explain it…hmmm… Here’s me, standing next to a cardboard cut-out. Insert Becky here. So, Amber was just another Becky. The same old shit, nothing to write home about.” He shrugged.

  “Why do you call them Beckies?” She couldn’t help but be thoroughly entertained by the thought process.

  “My roommate, Gabe, came up with it. He dated a girl once named Becky who was so bland, so lacking in personality…you know, one of the girls who actually say the letters O.M.G., rather than just saying ‘Oh my god.’” He rolled his eyes. “It just started catching on. Pretty soon we all started pointing out Beckies every time we went to shoot some pool, or out at the bar.” He pau
sed briefly. “You don’t know what a red-shirt regular is? You’ve never watched Star Trek?”

  Charlie shook her head and took a sip from her beer, smiling.

  “What kind of movies do you like?” he asked.

  “All kinds. I mean, I have my favorites, but I enjoy different kinds of movies. If the acting and plot are good…”

  “What’s your favorite?”

  “Oh, my favorite, of all time? That’s so hard,” she said, enjoying the lighthearted conversation. “I’d have to say The Matrix…or, Just Friends. Oh, and Heathers. What’s your favorite?”

  “Suspect Zero…I think. So far it’s been the most intriguing movie I’ve seen…”

  As Samuel continued speaking, Charlie found herself looking closely at his features: the way his dark hair fell to the sides of his temples; his rough hands, stained with paint and ink from whatever project he as working on earlier in the day; his forearms and the dark hair that adorned them. Her eyes traveled back up to his face and followed his unshaven square jawline up to his high cheek bones. She hadn’t remembered thinking that the boy she met in college could somehow turn out to be so appealing. She noticed two small red marks on the bridge of his nose, indicating he wore glasses.

  “Do you still wear glasses?” she asked during a short silence.

  He eyed her curiously. “Yeah, sometimes. When I’m reading or working, why?”

  “I was just noticing the small indents on the bridge of your nose, and I wondered why I hadn’t seen you wearing them.”

  He smiled and looked down to Charlie’s breasts. “Checking me out, eh?”

  She tried to keep a straight face and control the heat from flaming her cheeks. Say something, damn it, Charlie.

  She began slowly at first, then picked up pace as she found confidence in her words. “It’s only a natural courtesy to make eye contact with the person to whom you are speaking, so you can hardly deduce that I was ‘checking you out’ just because I noticed a couple of red marks. Furthermore, if I was checking you out, I wouldn’t keep something like that a secret, much like the way you stared at my ass earlier in the evening, or my tits just now. Only perhaps I’d be less obvious in my approval.” She raised her brow, waiting for a comeback.