Heinlein's Finches

by Robin Banks

  “Not to this,” he waves towards the tank. “I just wanted to show off, and to gross you out. But Asher did have a word with me.”

  “That guy is starting to bug me. He seems to think that privacy is an optional extra.”

  Raul shrugs. “He didn’t get into any details. He just said I should talk about your shields and tell you not to be a damn fool. Those were his exact words.”

  “Sounds like him,” I sigh. “Well, you know about my psi-bility already. And that I’ve been shielding.” He nods. “The idea is for me not to do that anymore. To just let it do its thing. If people are happy with it.”

  “What’s its thing?”

  “Emotions. If I don’t shield, I’ll know what you’re feeling.”

  “Wouldn’t you know that just by looking at me?”

  “Well, yeah, up to a point. But it’s easy to pretend that you feel a certain way when you don’t. People do it all the time. If I’m not shielding, and your expression and your feelings don’t match, I’ll know about it.”

  “So if I’m not lying, whether you’re shielded or not won’t make any difference?”

  I have to think about that one. “Well, I’ll know how you’re feeling a lot more clearly. I won’t have to guess. But yeah, pretty much.”

  “Ok then.”

  “What? Don’t you want to know more about it?”

  “Yes, of course. I am very curious. This is entirely new to me.”

  “No, I mean don’t you want to know more before saying yes?”

  “But if I don’t say yes, how will I ever know more?”

  “I could tell you.”

  “Not the same as showing. What is the problem? You asked, I said yes, now you’re baulking.”

  I blink. “Not sure. I guess I expected this to be an issue. It’s hard to change gears.”

  “Can’t help you with that. So, you can see emotions?”

  “In a way. ‘Seeing’ is not the right word, but there isn’t a better one.”

  “Type or intensity or what?”

  “All of that. The most obvious things are changes, particularly if they’re sudden. Oh, and when people are lying. That really sticks out.”

  “Lying how?”

  “When their body language and emotional state don’t match. The bigger the mismatch, the more obvious it is. It can get pretty funny at times.”

  “But can’t people fake their emotions, too? If they know you’re looking.”

  “Nope. Can’t be done.”

  “You seem very positive of that.”

  I stick my tongue out at him. “I did spend eight years being experimented on. I learnt a little bit. People can shield emotions, but not fake them. Can’t be done. Though they can recall them.”

  “Eh?”

  “If you thought of something that brings up an emotion, I’d see that. The emotion, I mean. I don’t have to know what you’re thinking about, and it could be entirely unrelated to whatever’s going on. If you make yourself go back to an emotional state, really feel it, that’s what I’m going to see.”

  “For real?”

  “No, I’m making this up to sound interesting. Go on. Give it a go.”

  Raul concentrates for a bit, then runs through a few emotional states. He gets so into this, and so impressed by how consistently I can read the relevant emotions that he ends up laughing and clapping his hands. I guess we’re making a racket, because Martha turns up.

  “What are you kids up to? I thought Quinn was meant to be resting.”

  “You’ve got to see this! She can tell you how you feel without you having to say anything! And she’s right all the time!” Raul catches himself and blinks. “Oh, shoot. I wasn’t supposed to say that, was I?”

  I can’t help laughing at his mortified expression. “I was going to tell her anyway. You’re good.”

  “Tell me what?” asks Martha.

  I take a deep breath. “I have a psi-bility, kinda. I can’t read minds, but I can read emotions.” I’m really hoping she’ll take it well. I like her a lot. She reminds me so much of my aunties that I’m feeling homesick for the first time in years.

  She can’t be that perturbed, because she walks over to the bed, waves her hand at Raul with a ‘shoo!’, and sits down between us.

  “So, yeah. I normally shield all the time unless I’m working. That means I can’t see anything regular people can’t.”

  “Oh. Why do you do that?”

  “…So I can’t see anything regular people can’t.”

  “Seems rather a waste. Regular people can be pretty oblivious.”

  I got nothing.

  And that is how I get permission to stay unshielded around Raul and Martha. After years of being told how important shielding is to my normal functioning in society, it seems rather anticlimactic.

  My trainers weren’t totally wrong, though. When I have the same conversation with Uncle Charlie, it doesn’t go down too well. He’s obviously scared, so I shield up. That doesn’t help at all.

  “The issue here is not with you; it is with me. If I can trust you to shield, then I can trust you to use your psi-bility appropriately. I guess it comes up to upbringing. I see emotional expressions as a source of anxiety, rather than an opportunity for connection. I wonder what our Adrian will make of this. It might do him good. I think I’m too set in my ways to change now, but I hope it does him good.”

  “Well… I’m not happy if you’re uncomfortable, so if you wouldn’t mind I’d prefer shielding anyway.”

  He smiles at me and nods. “You’re a good person. I’m glad our kid has friends like you. Truly glad.”

  Gwen and Aiden are away for eight whole days. By the time they get back, everyone’s so on edge with worry that I’m tempted to shield up again. The only thing that stopped Asher from going off to find them is that he still can’t walk properly. He’d do it, and damn the consequences to his legs, but he knows that he would attract way too much attention and that could put them in danger. I am frantic with worry and I would have gone too, if I hadn’t been told very, very specifically by Gwen that wasn’t supposed to. The way she kept repeating that and asking me if I’d got it and wagging her finger at me suggested that she actually meant it. So we all stayed put, and I swear I was going to give it at least another day before ignoring what she said and going to look for them anyway.

  They descend upon us at dinnertime, Gwen rushing around to kiss and hug everyone like a very ebullient whirlwind, Aiden trailing behind with a broader-than-usual smile on his face. “Sorry we’re late. We had to make sure we were being followed.”

  “Beg pardon?”

  “I had to make sure I knew who was following us, so we could lose them properly. Left them on the other side of Landing. Had to go through a house; in through the front, out through the back, easy peasy. Their security was atrocious. I hope they improve upon it. I left them a note about it.” We’re all staring at her. “Well, what did you expect me to do? Someone needed to tell them.”

  Asher looks bemused. “Ok. I’m sure that makes sense. To you, anyway. Can I assume that you’ve been successful in your endeavors?”

  “Of course! I wouldn’t have come back otherwise. Well, I might have; I was missing you guys. We’re all organized and squared up. I found us a contact who has a buyer up the tube. They’ve also got a ship and legitimate cargo to move. Perfect little cover story. There’s a tiny little hitch, but it’s hardly a hitch at all.”

  “You tell me what the hitch is,” growls Asher. “I’ll tell you if it’s little.”

  “They want their own pilot to take us up there. Can’t really blame them; they don’t know us. They have no reason to trust us with their ship and cargo.”

  “Can we trust them?”

  “I think so. They’re well-established.”

  “...well-established criminals.”

  “Yes. That requires a huge degree of trustworthiness. The penalties for messing up can be quite severe. If you cheat them, they don’t take you
to court or sic the guards on you. They have more, well, hands-on ways of dealing with issues.”

  Uncle Charlie sighs. “I wish I could be horrified, but having to restrict oneself to seeking retribution via legal means seems to be a limitation only the middle classes are affected by. I have to trust you’ll keep our kid safe, I guess.”

  “As safe as I can. I promise. I can’t get him into any trouble without getting into trouble myself.”

  “Somehow that doesn’t make it any better.”

  “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Gwen frowns. “Pah. Anyway, that’s all sorted. Their pilot takes us up to the tube, which is reasonable enough. I told them that the pilot would have to get a lift home, and they’re cool with that. We hand over the piggies. We get the ship in exchange. It’s not a great ship, but as exchanges go, it’s more than reasonable. I had to pretend that we were pushed for time, and then couldn’t be too picky without blowing our own cover. We meet up with Nick, either pick him up or leave him, depending on what he wants to do. On the way down, Aiden blows the ship up. We come back, have a party, then as soon as the dust is settled, or as soon as you want us out of your hair, we can be off. Sorted. Well, apart from the ship we’re supposed to leave here on, but I’m sure we’ll work something out, somehow.”

  Uncle Charlie looks puzzled. “Why did you want to haggle over the ship if you’re going to blow it up anyway?”

  “It’s the principle of the thing. Fair is fair! Plus I don’t want to get a reputation as a push-over. I have an image to maintain.”

  “Makes sense. Relatively, anyway.”

  Asher’s looking unconvinced. “I’m still not terribly sold on the whole idea of blowing the ship up.”

  “Essential part of the plan, I’m afraid. Plus Aiden is in charge of that.”

  “That’s the only reason I’m going along with it.”

  “Humph. Everyone trusts Aiden, and nobody trusts me.”

  “That’s because Aiden is methodical and responsible, and you’re not.” Gwen’s face drops. “But you are our resident evil genius, there’s no denying that.” She smiles again.

  “I can live with that. Anyway, what did I miss? You guys look good. Different.”

  “It’s been peaceful here, while you were gone. Weird, that.”

  “I’m regretting coming back. I can get verbal abuse anywhere, you know.”

  “Not surprising,” Asher snickers.

  “Oh, I give up. Anyway, I told them we’d have to do this in three weeks’ time. So we’re going to do it tomorrow.”

  “What?”

  “Much as I trust them, relatively, I want to give them as little time as possible to plan for a way to screw us over. The idea is that we can only steal the pigs when they’re going up for slaughter. It’s easier to come short of a few kilos of meat than to mislay two pigs. So I’ll tell them that the slaughter was brought forward, and we have to get on with it now. They’re not going to want to hide us and two stolen animals at their place for very long, so it’s in their best interest to get us up to the tube fast.”

  “Tomorrow’s no good.”

  “Love, waiting won’t make this any safer.”

  “No, it’s not that. You need to go when they’re between float camp intakes. You’re going to struggle to get Nick alone, otherwise. He’d be too busy during the day, and you don’t really want to be roaming around the tube at night. Security would be bound to spot you. They take the first group down, then immediately bring up the next. That gives you the best part of a day without cadets on the premises. That’s your window.”

  “When would that be? I don’t want to wait too long for this.”

  “Day after tomorrow, if they’re on schedule.”

  Aiden pipes up. “I can check that.”

  “That’d be good. So if you take your pigs over to your associates tomorrow evening, that gives them a night to fret and learn about the joys of animal husbandry, and hopefully they can get you on the tube the day after. You’d be going up as the first lot of cadets are coming down.”

  “I guess that makes sense.” Gwen sighs. “Much as this is a neat little caper, if I say so myself, I can’t wait for it to be over. I could do with some downtime.”

  “Yup.” Asher gives her a look that makes me twitch in my pants. “Some down time would be good.”

  Gwen blushes, but she gives him a look right back. “Well, if you guys don’t mind, I’m awfully tired, and tomorrow is going to come all too soon. I think I will retire now.”

  “We’ll join you in a moment, ok?”

  “Yup.” And she sashays out of the room.

  I know I should try to make small talk, but my mind’s perfectly blank. Asher is apparently in much the same state. After a silence long enough to be profoundly uncomfortable, Aiden and Uncle Charlie start laughing. “Go after her already!” “If you could see your faces!” So we make very hasty and garbled apologies, and walk down the corridor to our room with all the nonchalance we can muster; i.e., none.

  I like getting kissed by Gwen. She never rushes it and never half-asses it. When she kisses you, you get bloody well kissed. I could do it all day long, with an adequate supply of oxygen. This time she stops, though, and wrinkles her nose at me. “You feel different. You tickle.”

  I rub my face and head. “Damn stubble. Sorry.”

  “No, that’s not what I meant. You feel… closer. More vivid. More present. What have you been doing?”

  “I’m trying not to shield. I’m trying not to do anything at all with my psi-bility, just let it do its thing. Is that ok? I should have asked.”

  “Hmmm. Let’s see.” And she gets to kissing me again. Then she stops. “I can feel you, a little bit. I think.”

  “I can feel you a lot.”

  “No, silly. I mean, in my head, or wherever. It’s nice. I like it.” And she climbs right on top of me, and kisses me some more. Then she stops. “Yeah, I definitely like it.”

  “Gwen, I love you dearly, but you’re killing me.”

  She grins. “Am I now?”

  “For the love of… Please stop stopping. Please. I’m begging you. Or get off and let me… Please?”

  Her grin gets even broader. “Hands off. Mine. I like this unshielded state.”

  “I know you do. I can feel that. That doesn’t help me any.”

  “Hmmm. Lemme see what I can do about that…”

  If there’s anything better than sharing a bed with two happy, kind, imaginative people, I’ve not discovered it yet. I’m not sure I could survive it.

  The morning is difficult. The whole day is difficult, really. It’s difficult to ignore that we about to go off on a not-entirely-safe mission. Asher is not happy that we’re going off without him. He’s not happy that we’re going to be in the hands of a pilot we don’t know, on a ship he’s not checked out. He’s not happy that he might not get a chance to make things up with Nick; he still feels responsible for Nick’s reaction after his accident, and for everything that followed. He’s happy least of all about the idea of blowing the ship up.

  “I understand this plan is a necessity. In fact it meets a whole bundle of our necessities in one go. I approve of the entire scheme. It’s brilliant. I just don’t like it. I wish there was another way; a way that didn’t put three of my favorite people, four if you pick Nick up, in serious danger. There’s just so much that could go wrong, you know?”

  “I know, love. But it is what it is.”

  “Another two or three weeks and I could probably come with you.”

  “We can’t really wait, and we don’t really need a fourth. You’d be putting yourself at risk for nothing.”

  “Being with you isn’t nothing,” he growls. “And I don’t want any of you to be at risk.”

  “I know, love. We don’t want it either. I swear we’ll be sensible.”

  “Humph. I still don’t like it.”

  Navigating around Asher’s long face takes up a bit of our time. We ought to have anticipated this,
but didn’t. The other thing we’d forgotten to account for is a piglet’s reluctance to being separated from mommy.

  Pigs are not shy about showing their feelings. They don’t keep a stiff upper lip. They don’t suffer in silence. And two unhappy piglets riling each other up can make enough noise to raise the dead, and then some. There’s no way in hell we can transport them as they are without attracting undue attention – hell, with the way they’re screaming, the attention would not be undue. We eventually bite the bullet and agree to have Raul sedate them. Gwen will have to re-jab them as necessary.

  I find it very difficult to put the poor things through this ordeal. Martha tries to cheer me up. “Dear, these two pigs have a chance of living long and happy lives. It’s going to be just food and sex for them from now on. Their brothers and sisters… Well, you do know what we keep them for.”

  “I don’t want to think about that!”

  She shakes her head at me. “You’re a sweetheart. But please, never go colonist.”

  Come evening we’re all as ready as we’re ever going to be. When it comes to it, the only person with any kind of enthusiasm left is Aiden.

  “Come on. Time to get going.”

  “I’m just trying to give them a proper goodbye, man.” Asher’s still holding on to us. “Don’t be heartless.”

  “Sucking face doesn’t get the job done.”

  “Just a minute.”

  “You’ve had hours.”

  “Listen you; you’re taking my two favorite people off-world.”

  “They’re taking themselves. Also, fuck you too.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that!”

  “I did. Let’s go!”

  So we get going. Aiden and I carry the pig crate between us. Gwen has the container with the DNA bags. The streets are nearly deserted this time of night. It feels so weird being out and about after being cooped up for so long that I forget to be self-conscious about my new face and clothes. I feel strangely exposed. I’ve never been down to this part of town, either. It’s not really an area that invites tourism.

  “Stop scowling, loveling,” Gwen murmurs. “You look ferocious.”