Deputy

by Cliff Yates

  I had a good friend Mike Marino opening for me. And I had two other lady comedians in the show. Margaret Cho was our MC. I don't even know how that happened. Mike was a very successful actor, but his true love was standup comedy. Now he is a major headliner all over the country. He has numerous TV and film credits, and when I'm lucky, he hires me to open for him. We went on to do more than 100 shows together. Now that we had this money, Mike and I put a full-page and a half-page in Daily Variety. Mike at the time was teaching comedy traffic school and had met some members of the Hells Angels Motorcycle gang through traffic school. We sold some tickets, and then decided to comp the rest of the tickets to fill the place and get a good tape out of it. Between my Sheriff's Department friends and Mike's Hells Angels, we had over 1,000 fill the bottom floor. I was glad that the publicist came to the show. I told her on the way out, "Told you I would fill it."

  She said, "You did it." We had people from The Tonight Show and several film studios respond to be on our VIP guest list. The show went on without a hitch. My mom, dad, and cousin flew out from NY to see the show. I did my show at the Hollywood Palladium. Another dream fulfilled.

  The next year in 1999, the Sheriff's Aide called me. He said, "Cliff, the Sheriff would like you to do a comedy show fundraiser to help raise money for a float he is putting in the Rose Parade.” I told him I was in. We did it at the Country Star Restaurant on the Citywalk. This time I opened for Mike Marino. He was already on his way as a major headliner one year after our Palladium show. It was a great success, and the Sheriff was very happy. Amazing what a change in attitude and philosophy can do. From working at San Dimas Station and the lieutenant telling my friends to stay away from me or it would hurt their career. And now the Sheriff was calling me to do a fundraiser for his float.

  I was working the dayshift, and they were preparing for the Country Music Awards at the Amphitheater. I walked down and sat in the balcony to watch the rehearsal for that night's show. This was very exciting. I was walking back to the sub-station on the service road between the Citywalk and theme park, and these two big white dudes with long black coats and cowboy hats were walking toward me. They asked me how to get to the Amphitheater. I told them I would walk them down there. They said, "We are Montgomery Gentry." I think it was their first year at the CMA's. The lead deputy at Universal also ran a security company that handled after parties from the CMA's. That night he was working one at the nearby Universal Hilton, and he invited Alba and me to come to the party. Some of the acts would take to a makeshift stage and sing a few of their songs. Montgomery Gentry got up and sang a few songs, laughing and drinking a couple of beers. It was a fun night.

  My memory of meeting them flooded back into my brain when I was watching the CMA Wwards in 2017. All of a sudden a bunch of well-known country artists were singing on stage with Eddie Montgomery. They were showing a picture of Troy Gentry and panning to a lady and child in the front row of the audience. I didn't know that Troy Gentry had been killed in a helicopter crash. Two months earlier Montgomery Gentry was about to start a concert at a resort in New Jersey. Troy Gentry opted to take a pre-show helicopter ride that was offered to them by the resort. The helicopter crashed, killing the pilot instantly. Troy Gentry survived to the hospital, later dying of his injuries at age fifty.

  Growing up, I listened to all the country stars of the time because my mom constantly played the records in the house. I remember hearing "Rose Garden" by Lynne Anderson a few hundred times. That song came out in 1970. Twenty-eight years later in 1998, I was working the foot beat at the Citywalk. Who came out of the Amphitheatre after the Country Music Awards, needing to be walked to her limousine? Lynne Anderson. I walked her to her Limo, and we had a little chat on our walk. What a nice lady.

  One year they held the MTV awards at the Amphitheater, and the after-party was the entire theme park. MTV had rented out the entire theme park at Universal Studios. They agreed through an arrangement with the studios to hire 25-30 Sheriff personnel, but none in uniform. So there were 25 or so of us at the rank of deputy working in plainclothes mingling in the MTV Awards after-party with nine open bars.

  I remember walking the Citywalk with my partner Rick, and Channel 9 was doing some promo for their spot on the news covering the MTV Awards. We had a long talk with the reporters and crew. They did a spot with us on the news. We told them we would be changing out of our uniforms to work inside the MTV after-party. They said, "We want to go to the after-party."

  Rick said, "Come with us. We will walk you into the party." As we walked with them, I told the producer about my comedy life, and she said maybe they would do a segment profiling my work at Universal and my work as a comedian. We exchanged numbers, and I never expected to hear from her. I thought it was just friendly banter as we walked them into the party. Sure enough, a few weeks later they sent a film crew out to film Rick and I walking our beat. Then a week or so later they filmed me doing a set at the world-famous Comedy Store on the strip. They put together a nice piece which aired on L.A.'s Channel 9, and it's still on YouTube. From a U-turn on Route 390 in upstate New York to performing at the world-famous Comedy Store on the Sunset Strip and profiled on the Los Angeles News. Follow your dreams. They will come true.

  Every weekend we did a curfew sweep at 10 pm. There was a county ordinance curfew that the studios made use of to keep unaccompanied minors off the Citywalk after 10 pm. It also helped in keeping the gang element away too. We would start at one end of the walk. At the front of the loosely formed skirmish line would be the Universal uniformed security officers. There would be about ten of them. With them were the Universal nonuniform security officers who were mostly off duty LAPD officers, and there were about six of them. There might be one or two county probation officers also. Then bringing up the rear were us, usually a sergeant and about six deputies. Security would make the initial contact to youthful-looking patrons. If they had no I.D. or were unaccompanied minors, they would call one of us up. Depending on the circumstance, we would escort them up to the station for a ticket and a call to their parents or guardian to come pick them up.

  Sounds simple enough, but most of the time it never went that smooth. Someone would challenge the security officer and maybe even assault them. By the time we jump in, the fight could be on. And after the fray was over and people were in handcuffs headed to jail, many times they would be surprised they were actually being charged with battery on a peace officer. People have the image of the police as coming to a scene and getting out of a marked police car. So many times, seeing us in uniform on a foot beat would not click that we were the actual police. They would sometimes stupidly assume we were security guards.

  We would repeat this curfew sweep again around midnight. And then after the clubs closed at 2 am, we would have to clear the Citywalk of people who would gather and refuse to leave. There was a lot of pepper-spray used, and a lot of force on occasion.

  My sub-station lieutenant was a great guy. He was a super cop and war veteran. He was always looking for ways to help me make connections in the entertainment industry. In 1998 they had the premiere and after-party for the movie Patch Adams, starring Robin Williams. The lieutenant convinced the studios that there had been rumors of terrorist threats against Hollywood, which was true. But he convinced them they should have a couple of undercover deputies in the after-party just in case. The lieutenant wanted me to meet Robin Williams. I did meet Robin Williams for a hot second in the after-party, but his attention was in demand. After the party, my lieutenant arranged for me to take Robin Williams's publicist to his car. I don't know what that connection would garner, and it didn't any. But the lieutenant was always looking out for my cop and comedy career.

  September 11, 2001. Everyone remembers where they were on that morning. I was on the way to Universal sub-station for the start of my day shift. It was around 5:30 am, and I was on the freeway when the first plane hit. I was at the sub-station starting my shift when the second plane hit. I think this became the o
nly time in history that Universal closed the CityWalk and theme park. I have a video of the lieutenant and me driving a Sheriff's car down Citywalk, and it looked like a ghost town.

  On the Citywalk, which was full of tourists from all over the world, it was mostly positive and friendly interactions with us. People always wanted their picture taken with us, and we obliged. It was a great way to interact with people that weren't in crisis. Usually, in patrol, most of our contact was with victims of crimes, tragedy, or criminals. After 9/11 there was a wave across the whole country of people showing support for police, firefighters and all first responders.

  One night I was walking with my partner in the hallway of the Amphitheater. We were there to work at some country concert. We never worked inside the theatre. They had staff security for that. And any unruly or fighting patrons would be brought out to us for escort off the property or arrest. We would walk inside the building but outside the theatre proper, or inside the house as they say. We were contacted by a lone senior lady. She was probably in her 80's, so I think it's ok to say she was a senior. She needed help back to her seat to join the rest of her party. She had a cane and was not moving well. I recognized that we were right in front of the section where her seat was. Instead of calling one of the ushers, I decided to walk her to her seat because I knew it was just a few rows inside the doors. It was close enough to showtime that the place was nearly full but far enough ahead that all the house lights were up. As she sat down in her aisle seat, I just held her arm and guided her into her seat. As I turned to walk away, the entire crowd broke out into applause. After 9/11, people just wanted to show their support. Seeing a uniformed deputy sheriff help a lady to her seat, they applauded, saying thank you and we support you.

  This was an amazing time. It only lasted a year or two. Especially in California, people were back to cop-hating and bashing in short order. I know not everybody, but a great majority of California liberals especially just tolerate the police but don't really support them. They believe the police are a necessary evil.

  My wonderful lieutenant had arranged for Alba and me to attend some movie premiere. I can't remember which one now. And after the movie, Alba and I were sitting at a table having our meal and cocktail. It was just Alba and me, and one other guy. Then a lady came and sat down next to the guy. They were really nice. She introduced us to the guy. "This is my husband Brad Paisley. He's a singer." We were sitting with country superstar Brad Paisley before he was a country superstar. Sometimes you meet people before they really make it, and you see how nice and humble they are. And then they make it big, and you’re happy for those people.

  One night after the Country Music Awards, we were keeping the crowd away from Faith Hill who was doing an Entertainment Tonight interview. The crowd was pushing in. We were about two feet away from Faith Hill. She looks beautiful on TV, and in person even more beautiful. She was stunning. I look to my left, and I see a guy standing in front of Faith. He is being pushed and shoved pretty good, and I recognize him. It was Faith's husband, Tim McGraw. You wouldn't recognize him at the time without his cowboy hat on. He looks totally different. This was before he had done many movies. Now he would be recognized right away. I thought that must have been humbling for him. Everyone was trying to push past him to get a look at his wife, and nobody even saw him. He didn't look shaken at all.

  The film producer Robert Zemeckus had a bungalow office on the lower lot of Universal Studios. He made a police report when he discovered that his bungalow had been broken into. Stolen were his People’s Choice Award, a Forest Gump hat signed by Tom Hanks, and a laptop computer with the personal information of his Hollywood elite friends. It was a few days later when a transient was arrested on the backlot who had been living under the old west movie set facade. He was arrested for trespassing, but he had no stolen items on him.

  One night my super cop lieutenant came into the sub-station on a mission. He said he couldn't believe nobody had solved this case yet. He looked at me and said, "Cliff, you should have solved this. If you had solved the case and returned his stolen items, Robert Zemeckus would have you in every movie he makes." He said it was obvious that the transient who was arrested on the backlot was behind the burglary and theft from Zemeckus' bungalow. Then he sent a Sheriff's car from the West Hollywood Station to bring the transient back up to the sub-station. The suspect was a male from Mexico and spoke no English. The lieutenant said, "The detectives have had this case for over a week, and they haven't solved this yet. I'm going to do it tonight." He had a trainee translate for him.

  I don't know what he said to this suspect, but the suspect admitted to the break-in and stealing from the bungalow on the lower lot. Through a deputy translating the statements of the suspect, he said he knew where the stolen Forest Gump hat was and the People’s Choice Award. He agreed to direct us to the location of the stolen items.

  The lieutenant pointed to me and said, "Get two more marked units, and let's go get the stolen property back."

  I got a couple marked units to accompany me as we followed the lieutenant in his unmarked car. He had the deputy who was translating and the suspect in his car. We caravanned to the washroom of an apartment complex in North Hollywood. We got out of our cars, and the lieutenant said, "He says the hat is in a plastic bag behind a washing machine." The lieutenant walked into the small laundry room, reached behind the washer and pulled out a green plastic garbage bag. Sure enough, in the bag was a Forest Gump hat signed by Tom Hanks. We got back in our cars, and over the radio, the lieutenant said we were headed for downtown L.A.

  We arrived at the "Cliftons Cafe," a famous deli in downtown Los Angeles. Now it was about 11 pm, and everything was closed. We got out of our cars, and the suspect was out too. The suspect was peering through a small hole in a closed overhead metal door to a gold trading business. He said this was the place where the People’s Choice Award was sold and the laptop computer. The lieutenant had the desk somehow contact the owner who came down and opened up his shop, and unbelievably the People’s Choice Award and laptop were there. Case solved.

  They had the premiere party for American Pie 2 at the Hard Rock Cafe on the CityWalk. The Lieutenant, myself, and a group of deputies were assigned to the detail. We had some problems with aggressive paparazzi. Wow, they can really get out of hand when trying to get a picture of celebrities. These pictures are big business, and when a celebrity is not cooperative in giving them a shot at a great picture, they can get very nasty. Everything went pretty smoothly, and we had no major incidents during the party. It was pretty much breaking up when the lieutenant told me he was leaving, and that I could release the deputies on the detail whenever I thought it looks good. A short time later, when it looked like most everyone had left the Hard Rock, I released the deputies.

  Myself and one other deputy were left on the CityWalk. We got a call of a disturbance from the studio security. There was a disturbance by the valet stand near the Hard Rock. I headed in that direction as the only deputy from the detail left at the Citywalk. There was a ton of security officers around, those normally assigned to the Citywalk and those who were working the premier party provided by the studio. When I got to the valet area, several overly aggressive paparazzi were trying to push their way toward celebrities who were waiting for their cars at the valet stand. They had no respect for the space that the security officers were trying to maintain between themselves and the celebrities. I arrived in time to see one cameraman push a security officer out of his way as he took a picture. After taking his picture, he grabbed another security officer by the shirt who was trying to move him back behind some ropes designated to keep the crowd back from the valet area.

  Because of the crowd, I could not get to the camera guy who had already committed battery on two security officers. When I saw him draw an arm back to hit a security officer, I deployed a stream of pepper-spray perfectly over the shoulder of actor Bill Paxton to the eyes of our cameraman. This was a distance of about fifteen feet. I was
just glad that I hadn't inadvertently sprayed Bill Paxton. That definitely would have ended up as a national news event. My camera guy was affected immediately by the pepper-spray and went down to the ground rubbing his eyes with his free hand. I quickly got to him and arrested him for battery without further incident. When I got him back to the sub-station, I found out that he was a freelance cameraman and not affiliated with any major publication.

  I called my lieutenant on the phone, and he started yelling, "This could be a major national story by tomorrow morning. I'm on the way down there." He came down, but quickly realized himself that the guy we arrested was a goofball with no national ties with any major publication. He was an independent who got pictures of celebrities and entertainment events and sold them to the news or major entertainment publications. Sometimes we would hold our breath in these kinds of deals to see if it makes the national news. You never know who got pictures or video and of what. A video of me pepper-spraying a cameraman over the shoulder of Bill Paxton might have ended up on TMZ or wherever. The next thing you know, the Sheriff himself will want to know what went on. There were no incidents too small not to be concerned might blow up into something.