The Pastor Of Kink

by Williams, Debbie

  It’s difficult to know where to begin, but maybe I should tell you from my teens. Up to then I had always been a good child, but as I reached my mid teens I started hanging around with a bad crowd, leading me down a road to nothing but trouble. At age seventeen I managed to get myself arrested for breaking and entering coupled with assault. The judge was a mean old son of a bitch with an old fashioned view on punishment and he decided I needed a short sharp shock and sentenced me to eight months inside a juvenile detention center.

  On arrival I was processed through the system and put into a holding cell, where they left me for five days, the only time I saw anyone was when the guards came to give me food and allow me to use the bathroom. I was then moved to one of the wings where I was put into a shared cell. I was a lot smaller than I am now; in fact I was extremely skinny I had no muscle tone at all. I was terrified of what the other guys would be like, I suddenly felt so incredibly out of my depth. I was the hard guy outside but in here I was nothing.

  Around an hour after they had put me in the cell, I was joined by three large, and believe me they were LARGE, guys. I was greeted with a sneer from each one of them. I pretty much squeaked out “Hi” which made me the butt of jokes for the rest of the evening. To escape being ridiculed I headed for the showers. I stripped and stepped into the cubicle pulling the small privacy panel closed behind me. I stood under the hot water closing my eyes and chastised myself for ever letting myself end up in this place, the water ran on a timer so I pressed the button for another stream of water to hit me. As I leant forward to rest my head against the tiled wall, I felt a hand shove my head into the tiles. The room spun as I gasped in a state of panic. By the time I had gathered my wits together I was being held by two of the big guys whilst the leader pushed himself against me from behind.”

  Roisin gripped my hand, and stroked it with her thumb. “Trey you really don’t have to tell me anymore, we all have things from our past we are not proud of.”

  “No I have to do this so you understand. If at the end of what I tell you, you feel you have to walk away I will understand. Baby I am not the person you think I am, I am bad to the core.”

  She nodded her head all the while stroking the back of my hand.

  “He pushed my head into the tiles again with one hand whilst he fumbled with his zipper with the other, he leaned into the side of my head giving me a warning that if I made I sound he would make sure I never made another noise again. I could feel the burning bile rising in my throat. No further warning was given before he forced himself into my ass. The pain was so intense, my instinct was to cry out which is when his rough hand clasped over my mouth and he whispered “Sshhh baby, wouldn’t want to be disturbed would we” I heard the other two laugh as I retched while he took his pleasure, his foul breath hitting the side of my face as he panted his way through growls. He shuddered and pulled himself out. Before I could recover one of the other guys took over. All I could do was stand and sob like the pathetic loser I was. I closed my mind off and let them do as they wanted. By the time the third guy had finished I was shaking violently. They laughed as they left the shower area leaving me in a heap on the floor. My innocence gone forever.”

  Raising my left hand I wiped away a solitary tear that had formed. Some big man I was.

  “As much as I hate admitting this, I endured this for weeks until one day I decided I was going to take control of my life and started using the gym equipment on a regular basis, I started to bulk out, and had even started to give them as much shit as they gave me. I was still being abused, but it was becoming more difficult for them to corner me. I also started going to see the prison Pastor regularly too. I felt a bond with him; he listened to the story of my life and how I had gone completely off the rails. Never once did he judge my actions. We struck up a close friendship, my first true friend.

  Eventually the attacks subsided as more fresh, younger meat was sent into the joint. I had a week left of my sentence when lead bully decided he wanted to try his luck again, only this time he got a shock, by the time I had finished he was blubbering wreck on the floor, as I turned away from him the other guys on the wing started to applaud, they all hated him as much as I did but not one of them had the balls to take him on. I made my way to the chapel and told the Pastor what I had done, how I was ashamed to have walked away leaving him a blooded mess on the floor. Again he didn’t judge just took it all on board. I was sure I had fucked up my chances of release, I was convinced I would get extra time for assault, but apparently no guards saw the melee, in fact I later learned the Pastor has told the warden he saw him being beaten by a few men, he told him that surely one man couldn’t have done that much damage to such a big man!! It was then that I thought about maybe being a Pastor, never thinking I would be accepted especially with me having a criminal record. I made a vow to always be there for the bullied to give guidance through hard times.”

  Roisin was sat beside me sobbing uncontrollably, “OH TREY you should never have had to go through anything like that especially at such a young age”

  “Once I was released I met the Pastor twice a week at my halfway house whilst he gave me guidance to becoming a Pastor and helped me get back on my feet again. I really don’t know if you will like what I am about to tell you though. I understand if you want to walk away.

  I had bulked out a lot since I had gone into prison. I revelled in the attention I was getting from women. I started taking advantage of the offers and became a manwhore. It was regular for me to have 4 maybe 5 women in a week, sometimes more. I had no shame in what I was doing, I just wanted sex, the more I had, the more I wanted. I started bringing in mild bondage, loving nothing more than seeing a woman tied to a bed face down while I fucked them. Having them face down meant I didn’t need to connect with them, no eye contact made it less personal, kept me detached. No eye contact meant no feelings would be shown. I guess you could say I used and abused.

  By the time I was twenty one I was addicted, I couldn’t cope if I didn’t have sex everyday and I don’t mean vanilla type sex, I wanted it Kinky, I have done some crazy things while fucking. I didn’t care if they were single, married, divorced, I just wanted it all the time. My libido seemed to be on constant alert. Normally a man would need to rest between sessions, but not me. I was insatiable and I developed an ability to either remain hard for long periods even after multiple orgasms or get hard again very quickly.

  When I was twenty-five I had been screwing around more than ever. I was in a new town and met Vanessa, she was older than I was, but she was relatively inexperienced, in fact her sole repertoire comprised of just the Missionary position, I vividly remember the first time I took her from behind, she almost fainted because she was unable to control her breathing. She soon developed a liking for the adventurous side and she become as insatiable as me. She was married but always seemed to be so sad. Of course I honed in on this, before long we were having a passionate affair. I definitely used her, at the start it was just when it suited me, I would make her feel guilty if she said she couldn’t meet me. I did things with her I had never done with any other. I got off on having her wear a collar with a chain leash; I would use a flogger on her whilst we fucked. After a few months she met me at our usual place with bruising on her face and arms. Her husband had followed her and now knew what we had been doing. He vowed he would get revenge for what we had done. She was in tears and struggled to stay stood up. I asked her if he had hurt her anywhere else. The bastard had raped her, his own wife; he had beaten her and raped her. I tried to comfort her, but nothing I did calmed her. She left in a trance like state. I never saw her again, her husband found out she had come to see me and he made sure no other man would never look at her in that way again. He slashed her face and left her on her own. By the time she was found she had smashed the mirror in the bathroom and taken her own life. I never got to see her again, I didn’t even know when or where she was buried, I was denied the chance to say goodbye.

  You would
think this would be enough to stop me doing what I was doing. I transferred to another town to start afresh. Here I met two young ladies, both of legal age but I should never have touched them, but I just couldn’t control myself, my addiction was getting worse and it knew no bounds. I needed it all the time; it was like a drug, making me sick. If I didn’t get sex, I would masturbate instead, this still wasn’t enough. I took my sexual frustrations out on the two young girls. After some months I was in a routine, Sasha was my Monday, Wednesday and Friday girl whilst Charlotte was Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Sunday I took as a rest day, well I was actually out trawling the bars and picking up whatever woman I could.

  I wasn’t proud neither of myself nor of my behaviour. Six months into my Pastorship in the town I had a feeling I was being followed, constantly being followed. Both girls had started to become very attached and were even declaring their love for me, something I could never say back, certainly not with any sense of meaning anyway. I needed to get away, and soon, before my stalker revealed their self. I really thought I had hit the jackpot here, nobody knew where I had gone so I was free, free to do as I pleased. I had finally sought help and had been attending an addiction group; I was starting to get over my craving for sex, or at least understanding it and feeling I could control it. Then I arrived here; little did I know that I would meet someone who would steal what little resolve I had left, make her way under my skin, like no other has ever done.”

  I glanced up to see Roisin’s pale face, pale with what I took as disgust, eyes wide with horror, she tugged her hand out of mine and stood ready to leave. I knew she would hate me for what I was, now she knew the truth and I had fallen from the pedestal she held me on. It would only be a matter of time before the churchgoers would become aware and chase me out of town.

  Standing by the window, staring out into the early dawn sky, my insides were in turmoil, where we would go from here? I didn’t know but I was pretty certain it was over.

  “Trey, can you swear to me here and now that there will be no others, that you want only me?” Her soft hand rested on my forearm as she looked into my eyes.

  “I can try baby, I really will try, you’re my life, and I actually feel like I belong here, here with you”

  Her arms wrapped around me from behind, holding me in a loving embrace she agreed to give me a chance. All I need to do now is stop seeing the other ladies, before I ruin everything all over again.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  ROISIN

  I don't think I have ever been as frightened as I have been over the last twenty-four hours. What started out as a great night ended up with us having to hide out in this hotel. Sitting here in the room trying to process everything Trey had just told me about his past, has definitely made my mind over analyse things. He has had such a hard life, but for as much as I have said I am here and love him, I still have some reservations about his addiction. This is something I really need to seek advice on; maybe Cathy will be the right one to speak with about it all.

  The room is peaceful, so I lay back and try my hardest to relax, but all I can picture are those eyes staring at me from the balcony. They were so close set, slightly squinted and definitely had a glint of evil in them. That tall dark figure completely shrouded in the dark apart from that evil glint. I shudder a little as I try to put it out of my mind.

  As my mind wanders, I am stood on the balcony and see the man, his evil glint following every move I make. I try to turn away to run and scream, a hand behind me reaches and clamps around my mouth stifling the scream. He forces me against the wall, deep raspy breaths, rancid breaths, so close I can feel the moisture against my neck. His bulky body presses against me stopping me from trying to escape. His free hand tries to find its goal, squirming against his hold, there is no way you are getting what you want. He rips my trousers in his fight and roughly turns me to face him, those eyes start to come into clearer view, he lowers his hood and I scream this time it escapes, piercing the quietness that surrounds us. The evil eyes pierce mine but it's not who I thought it would be looking at me, it's my beautiful man Trey!

  “Roisin! Wake up baby, you’re dreaming” his voice stirs me from the nightmare, my whole body shaking with fear.

  “It was you, on the balcony, staring at me, then you tried to force yourself on me” I told him breaking down against his shoulder the sound of my sobs filling the room. He holds me close, stroking my hair to calm me.

  Slowly I start to calm down and curl into his side; surprisingly this is where I feel safest.

  TREY

  As she curls into my side I feel a twinge of guilt, if I had never approached her in the first place, this would never have happened. I should let her go but I can't, I need her with me, by my side, to help me and guide me through the coming storm.

  I can't believe he has found me again, Clay Jackson, I didn't think I would have him fuck up my life yet again. And he seems to be more unstable this time than ever before, usually it is just a case of following me wherever I go, this time he has escalated to violence.

  Closing my eyes I contemplate running, leaving Roisin and my life here behind me. Start afresh, maybe a new name and another state, or even a different country all together. My heart thumps loudly, like a beating drum in a rock band, so hard it feels as though it will burst out of my chest, just the thought of leaving my red haired beauty behind makes me panic. I have only felt like this maybe twice before, the sweet, young and innocent Charlotte and Vanessa Jackson, ultimately I would have gone to the end of the earth for that woman.

  When I had first started seeing Vanessa it was just another fling, just another woman to use for my addiction. That is how callous I am, the way I looked at women. They were just another piece of meat to fuck. I never thought it would turn into something else. Vanessa, beautiful Vanessa, she got me, she understood how I worked, how it wasn’t love it was a need, a craving, like a drug.

  What had started out as a one off meeting, soon turned into 3 times a week. I seemed to unlock a passion that has been hidden and it spurred her into being more and more adventurous. I would watch for him leaving for work in the morning. We would then spend the day doing what we wanted most; we must have christened every room in that house. Eventually I had no choice but to use a gag on her, she was so loud whilst in the throws of passion. She would grind herself into my body all the while screaming for more. I was always an attentive lover but with Vanessa all I wanted was more ways to make it adventurous. I took great pleasure from using leather straps to bind her, even going as far as having a leather collar with a chain that connected to an intricate weave of leather straps around her body. The intense way she reacted between the strokes of my fingers and the hard touch of the straps. To see her bound on the bed with her arms behind her back, her eyes covered with a black silk blindfold. My erection bordered on torture at times.

  The animalistic growls as I stroked my shaft along her lips, her soft pants for breath as I moved in and out of her mouth. The sharp sound that echoed around the room; when my hand hit the skin of her ass. How we evolved in our games, using leather floggers on each other, the harder the better. That intense pain as the ends of the leather flicked against my balls, the way it drove me to being on the edge of a cliff, the precipice of orgasm always there but just out of reach. She knew exactly how to drive my need for more.

  I have never opened up and told anyone about Vanessa, but he was forcing my hand this time, he had involved the only other woman who could drive me insane with need.

  ROISIN

  Trey had fallen asleep and I got up and crossed to the dresser staring in the mirror, my eyes looked terrible, but then again I hadn’t had much sleep in the last 24 hours either. I had listened intently to everything Trey was telling me, it explained how he could be into the play side of sex, but it was the addiction side I was going to struggle with. Surely if he had an addiction I wouldn’t be enough to keep him satisfied. I would soon become the one who couldn’t satisfy, the one left behind wh
ile he explored his addiction more.

  Mentally chastising myself for being stupid I carried on staring at myself in the mirror, I think I need a good change and its time to do it. As you know I already have red hair so what better than to go all out there and become a vibrant red. This man made me feel so different about myself so why not become different altogether.

  I turned and saw my gorgeous hunk lay on his bed with eyes closed; he looked so peaceful just lay there. A deep tremor started within me and urged me to take control. I slowly crawled along the bed and positioned myself between his legs. Blowing a warm breath along his shaft, giggling to myself as it twitched slightly beginning to thicken and lengthen to the sensation of my breath. His breathing became ragged in reaction to the touch of my tongue against the tip, encouraging me to lick along the whole length. That deep gravelly growl deep in his throat, made my every fibre tingle, supporting myself with my hands on his thighs I took him deep into my throat flicking my tongue into the tip, tasting his saltiness. Groaning between each drop, this is where I wanted to be with this man, this man who had so many demons to be released. I closed my eyes tight and took him to the hilt then pulled back sucking hard, his fingers wound their way into my hair and pulled me in closer, I felt myself gag slightly as the pressure of his length I could hear his raspy voice as he gasped “FUCK”