Under the Lies

by A. K. Koonce

  Just to avoid the responsibilities that are staring me right in the face.

  Eighteen

  Madison

  My hair’s dried, and a long gown as dark as night hugs my curves. For once, the gown I chose wasn’t beautiful and seductive.

  It’s plain. A plain satin gown that covers nearly every inch of my skin from my shoulders all the way down to the tips of my toes hidden beneath the billowing fabric.

  Because I just don’t care. They say black is the color of mourning, but maybe it’s just something so basic, one more thing that we don’t have to physically put thought into during a time that feels messy and muddled with too many thoughts and memories.

  The material is so dark it blends right in with the shadows as I take quiet steps down the smooth brick stairs. Farther and farther I trail down into the estate’s lower level.

  This is a dungeon if I ever saw one. The echoing crawl of foul words and spitting anger is definitely the sound of a dungeon.

  “If it isn’t the Murdering Madison. Have you come to slaughter another Elder? Wipe us out entirely just for your own benefit?” The cruel words slither through the shadows on a biting whisper, but I don’t glance toward the prisoner.

  Bars line the walls like cages, and I honestly don’t know if Liddell built them ages ago…or if Alixx did last night.

  The swooshing of the hem of my dress brushes along the damp floor as I head all the way to the back. Because that’s where the quiet lingers.

  It’s the sound of a young girl too naive and too innocent for a world that will eat her up and spit her out all at once.

  “Alice.” I stand in front of her little cage, peering in at the gleam of honey blonde hair that shines in the flickering fire light. Her head turns, her eyes just barely meeting mine from the barrier of her long hair blocking out the morbid setting surrounding her.

  I hope it’s pressing in on her. I hope it’s suffocating her. I hope it makes her feel dead inside.

  Just like me.

  She huddles there on the dirty floor, the span of her cell separating me from her. It’s so dark I can’t make out her features, just the outline of her small body and the shine of her wet eyes.

  Did she cry all night? Pray for someone to help her now more than ever? Wish she could take it all back?

  Because I did.

  “Was…was anyone able to help her?” she asks in a small voice.

  Was anyone able to help her?

  What the fuck kind of question is that?

  I’m not here to answer her questions.

  “Who were you before you came here?”

  There’s a scuttling pause among the hateful whispers of the Elders surrounding us, but she and I stare at one another in way we never have before.

  I don’t even know why I ask her. I just need to know. Everyone here—everyone has a darkness in their background. Most of it is so twisted and painful it’s hard for me to think about.

  Kais, he’s Time, and he cursed Wonderland into an endless pause on time the moment he landed here, just because it didn’t give him the peace he was searching out. Just because they didn’t let him die.

  So maybe I just want to know what she escaped to come here, too.

  Maybe I just have to know if her death will be significant.

  Or maybe I’m just comparing myself once again to the prophesized Alice.

  “Before I came to Wonderland, I was—I wasn’t very popular. I—I moved around a lot. Had a lot of foster families, but they never lasted more than a year. I never knew my mom or my dad. I just—I just had me, and I made the best of it.” Her small shoulders pull up in a weak pathetic shrug, but the smile she tacks on at the end feels rehearsed.

  How much of Gwenevere Blight is rehearsed? A forced appearance to please others. A forced appearance that’s more of a coping mechanism than it is an annoying persona?

  “How old are you?”

  “Sixteen,” she says on a shaking breath.

  Sixteen years old. She’s so petite she seems younger. Her ridiculous optimism only adds to that.

  Am I really heartless enough to kill a sixteen-year-old girl who’s barely begun to live her life?

  I turn on my heels and walk right back out of the long cellar before I can give myself time to completely second guess what happened and who deserves what punishment.

  She killed someone. Someone important and strong and brave and too fucking good to die.

  I collapse on the stairs half way up, my knees hitting the hard stone.

  “You can’t do it, can you?” A pale face stares down at me within the dimness. Preston’s locks are messy and tussled as if he’s as sleepless as I am.

  “I don’t know what you mean.” I don’t even get up. I stay slumped on the steps, and eventually he pushes his back to the wall and slides on down to sit at my side.

  “You can’t kill her, because she’s as innocent as everyone always said she’d be. And you don’t have a black enough heart to kill her just because it seems fair for her life to end just like she did Cat’s. Even if what happened was an accident.”

  “Death isn’t an accident, Preston,” I growl the words out so slowly that my throat hurts to even say it.

  “No. It’s not. Actions or lack thereof are what cause death.” He shoves the harshness of my tone right back at me, but I don’t know why. “Your future’s changing, Madison.”

  “Did you ever think not everyone wants to be told about the past or the future or the fucking afterlife?”

  I swallow hard as I wonder if he can still speak to Cat. It hurts to think about it. That she might be here even if she’s not with me.

  I refuse to ask him.

  “I know not everyone wants to know. That’s why my prices are expensive. People pay to know. But I like you. I care about you. And you can’t fucking ruin your life in every future I see. I won’t let you.”

  I glance at him out of the corner of my eye, but he’s staring at me hard.

  He won’t let me. This little boy has been staying up way past his bedtime if he thinks he’s old enough to parent me.

  “In your future, you’re either going to punish everyone you deem fit and die once again in my visions, or”—he drags that word out until I’m fully focused on him—“or you’re going to listen to everything I’ve ever told you. For once.”

  Without another word, he pushes off hard from the ground and strides up the stone stairs.

  What does that even mean?

  He leaves me there in the same confused and lost state as he found me in.

  Except now I don’t give a shit about Alice’s future.

  I’m too worried about my own.

  Nineteen

  Madison

  It’s a blooming sunset, like fire cascading across the sky and reflecting off the ocean. And that’s where we gather with many, many floating caskets.

  With Cat’s casket.

  All of us came here to this realm because of this mysterious magical water. And it feels fitting that that’s how Cat will rest. Kais’s palm pushes down my back and settles along my spine. His inky suit just makes his skin look paler, his tattoos darker. It’s the purest look of love when I meet his eyes. It’s a look that shifts into a feeling that tries to sneak in through the tightness of my chest. And that feeling of love only spreads when Lighton’s big hand slides into mine. And it’s the same intense feeling I get as Alixx wraps his arms around me from behind. His body melds against mine, but I never relax into any of the three men surrounding me.

  Not today.

  My shoulders square as Brody steps closer and closer to the wooden raft holding her lifeless body. She’s beautiful even in death. Her long pink hair is curled around her smooth features, her skin seeming paler than normal but her lips a deep red, like she’s been kissed by love itself.

  Even if she never felt that love the way she deserved.

  As I look at her, my heart sinks in my chest until it’s a drowning feeling in my stomach.

&
nbsp; They say that time heals all wounds, but that isn’t true. These people in this realm have lived lifetimes over, and time has only festered their hate and their pain.

  Death. Death is what heals all. Death has the ability to soothe a lifetime of pain, generations of hate, and to mend…a broken heart.

  Dozens of red roses shake in his palm as he slowly places the overflowing bouquet of red roses against her slender frame. The crimson color lies across her stomach, along her arms, and down the side of the casket until the deep red petals ripple the water below.

  “Does anyone have any words?” Brody’s red-rimmed eyes look up at the small gathering of people surrounding him and her.

  For a moment, for a single sick moment, it reminds me of a wedding. The two of them at the front while the people they love the most watch them expectantly.

  I swallow hard as warmth sears across my vision.

  We’re all here for her. Everyone except…

  “Where’s Preston?” I murmur to myself.

  Gasps tear through the small crowd as the people around us shift, bumping into me to let someone through. And then she’s glancing anxiously at me.

  Because Gwenevere Fucking Blight is running toward the casket. Her rushed movements are being guided in a protective way by Preston as she ambushes the funeral. Her legs pump faster as she reaches the shoreline. My dress catches under my foot, and I stumble after her. Preston collides with Brody, and water sprays up around them as they both slam into the waters.

  And then I do the same to Gwen.

  Her small body hits my chest hard, and when I push her to the ground, we fall into the wooden raft. Waves slap up around us. My hands shove at her hands as an endless riff of profanity snaps from my lips.

  “You goddamn innocent fairytale fucking cunt. Stop hurting my friend. Let her rest!”

  “Madison!” Kais’s voice sounds anxious and slightly…distant?

  I look up to find us sailing away from the shore. Three men slosh into the water after us, but they’re several yards away as we drift out into the bright sunset.

  Shit.

  My lips part, and I’m only distracted for a single second. But that’s all the time she needs.

  She lunges for the casket above us. I fling my arms around her, my feet slipping along the edge of the raft. Cold water laps at my dress, drenching me and threatening to pull me right in. The sharpness of her elbow digs into my ribs, our hands grip and grapple. My fingers shove through her hair, and we both stumble as I snatch her locks and drag her down with me.

  Slicing cold water hits my body, and I sink right into it. My dress twists all around me as salty water stings my lungs.

  But at least I saved her.

  Water slides down my face when I surface in a heap of coughs and jagged breaths.

  Just in time to see Gwen pulling herself back onto the raft several feet ahead of me. My heart stops, caught somewhere between the thickness of my throat and the tension pressing in my chest. Her sopping wet hair gleams in the sunlight as I drift there watching her sail out farther and farther. The slender outline of her body stands above my friend. A small hand comes down gently as if she’s pressing her palm to Cat’s heart.

  A pulsing sound ripples through the air, but it’s short-lived. The blazing sunlight haloes her tormenting image, and I watch the dark silhouette of her body as they drift away.

  And then…the figure grows as the body within the casket lifts up, her face tilted toward the heavens as sunlight bathes across her smooth, flawless skin.

  Cat’s alive. She’s alive. She didn’t need me to save her at all.

  Alice did it.

  Cat’s head turns, and I feel her looking at me, her attention pulling back to stare at Alice for a long moment that seems to pull the air right from my lungs as they study one another. Then the woman who laid dead before me just moments ago stands unsteadily from her casket. She looks like a goddess rising up against the fiery sun that’s burning in the distance.

  Her head tips high, the wind catching her long pink hair.

  Then she leaps into the sea.

  Waves push against me, and I refuse to blink. I won’t look away. I can’t.

  Her head bobs up from the glistening water, and I can just faintly make out a smile kissing her lips. And then she’s swimming toward me. Faster and faster, she slashes through the sea, and I don’t even realize it when I start to do the same, pushing myself even farther out into the depths just to get to her.

  Warm hands slide across my shoulders, and I pull her against me so roughly that we both almost sink under. A gasping smile pushes to my lips on a painful feeling of happiness. It’s a slicing thing that feels like the joy inside me is fighting its way out.

  The warmth of the sun falls across my face, and I open my eyes to find the raft and the silhouette of a small girl disappear into the horizon.

  Just like magic.

  She’s gone, and my heart reacts to that thought with a flare of slamming panic before it calms suddenly.

  She’ll be back. Wonderland was made for Alice. In her own time, she’ll come back to where she belongs.

  “Cat,” I gasp into her drenched hair.

  A drilling feeling pounds against my chest.

  Her heartbeat.

  It matches mine, a chaotic but beautiful sound that makes me hold her tighter.

  It’s a perfect moment.

  Until…

  “Can you believe that asshole waited till I died to tell me he loved me?!”

  A snort of laughter slips through my lips at the sound of her annoyance.

  But she’s not wrong.

  “I’m sorry,” a shuddering voice says behind us.

  I pull away from her, my hand slipping down her arm and finally her hand before falling away beneath the water.

  There’s so much water streaming down Brody’s face that I can’t tell if he’s crying or if the sea is just seeping right into him. The crisp black suit is wet all the way through. I glance up at the shoreline to find us so, so far away from the small crowd that’s watching us intently.

  They really do love a good show in this place, don’t they?

  I look up at my friend to find her blinking at Brody, a small sniffle cutting through her breaths before a single tear slides down her cheek.

  She flings herself into his arms, and he catches her like he’ll never let her go.

  “I’m so fucking sorry, Kitten. I love you. I love you so fucking much. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

  Her lips slamming to his silences his apologies and his words of love and sorrow.

  As inconspicuously as I can, I flail through the water, kicking up waves that feel delicate but are more thundering than I intend.

  I halt instantly and find them both looking at me like I’m the most pathetic thing to ever splash into the sea.

  For awkwardness’s fucking sake.

  I throw Cat a meek smile over my shoulder as I dog paddle my ass back to the shore in an attempt to not disrupt them again.

  “I love you, Kitten.”

  “I know, my little Caterpillar. I love you too.”

  Caterpillar?

  Awkward.

  My head’s still treading water, nose burning with every breath of air I try to steal away from the demanding waves. My limbs are tired. Every part of my body is so damn tired. Are these gentle waves a riptide? Am I in a riptide right now?

  Big hands lift me up, and when he pulls me against his chest, I realize I’m fighting for my life and trying to swim my way out of the small waves in knee deep water.

  “Why are you so fucking reckless?” Kais growls at me as he hugs me hard enough to crush the air out of my lungs.

  He tries to sweetly push the hair from my face, but I tip my chin up and press my lips to his over and over again until he slowly kisses me back.

  “I love you,” I whisper.

  “I love you too.” Fingers thread tightly through my hair as his tongue slides slowly against mine, the moment a perfe
ct feel of dominance and love.

  A body presses against me from behind, and then I’m being picked up off my feet. Kais reluctantly releases me as Lighton cradles me against him. His black suit is completely soaked, and I wonder how far out he swam after me.

  “I love you too, you know,” I whisper as I snuggle into his warm neck.

  “I know,” he hums in an aloof amused tone.

  I know. What kind of arrogant response is that to a sentiment of love?

  I glare at the side of his ridiculously handsome face. It’s like he can feel my hate messages soaking into his skull.

  “I love you too, Cupcake.” His beard scuffs my skin as he presses a slow kiss against my jaw line, and I just arch into his affection.

  When my feet touch down to solid ground, mischievous green eyes level on me. Alixx adjusts his wet black cuffs, skims his long fingers down the buttons of his drenched suit jacket, but somehow he looks as flawless as a male model with the pure sunlight setting on his sinfully sexy smile. The big leather wings ruffle slightly, drawing my attention there for a single second.

  “You’re a bit wet, Sweetheart,” he says on a slow drawl of words, never coming closer but standing at the edge of the bank like he didn’t dive into the waves after me.

  Cold locks cling to my face as I stare up at him.

  Realization crawls in like a forgotten note that feels all too important now.

  “You never said it back,” I whisper.

  The memory of him leaping off the edge of the cliff and into the sea drifts through my mind, and I replay it again and again, but it never changes.

  He never said he loved me.

  A stalking stride fills his steps as he takes his time coming toward me. He doesn’t stop until he’s so close my head’s angled slightly up to meet his cutting gaze.

  Maybe Alixx Stone doesn’t know what love is. Maybe having a mother like his made him too uncertain of affection. Maybe…maybe he’s too cruel for the warmth of emotion to ever settle fully into his heart.