Wrath

by Snow,Jenika

  He scrubbed a hand over his face, wishing he could go back in the past and change so much. Maybe if he’d grown a set of balls and just told Lila how he felt she’d never been put in the fucked up situation.

  “I’m okay, Wrath.”

  He closed his eyes at the sound of her saying his name. Fuck, he loved hearing her say it. Her voice did things to him, made him hard, had every cell in his body coming alive, and made him want so many things that he didn’t deserve. He was a bastard in all ways, and although he’d lay his life down for Lila without even a thought, he was still the same asshole that had come from the slums.

  “I wanted to know if we could meet up … to talk.”

  His heart beat overtime, and he curled his hand into a tighter fist, his knuckles cracking from the force.

  “You tell me when and where and I’m there.”

  He’d always be there for her, no matter what, even if it could ruin her.

  Chapter Three

  The following day

  Wrath had cleared his schedule in order to see Lila that night. But it wasn’t a hardship. He anticipated seeing her, even if it had only been a few months since he’d seen her gorgeous face.

  He’d been a bad motherfucker back in the day, and he knew Lila had known that. But did she know how dangerous he was now? He was even more so than when they’d been kids. He’d been at the top before he went to prison, and just because he’d been locked away for years he continued to rise. He’d run groups from behind bars, made deals, and still conducted his shit even though he was locked in a cell.

  It was really easy to still have a life—especially an illegal one—even if a motherfucker was behind bars.

  After prison he’d finished working his way to the top.

  And now he sat on a throne of blood and violence, ruling over the underworld.

  Now he was feared above all else, and that’s exactly where he wanted to be.

  He moved around the table of marijuana, around his “employees”, his focus on what they were doing. He might be considered the bad guy, or the fucking thug, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want top-notch quality shit. If he distributed it anyone buying would know it was top of the line, whether that was weed, coke, heroin, or guns.

  The women who were sorting out the different strains of weed had masks and gloves on. Hell, the health department didn’t fuck with him for obvious reasons, but his shit was known for quality.

  And I’m known for breaking kneecaps just from a sorry asshole looking at me the wrong way.

  He was trying not to think about meeting Lila tonight, not while he was at work, but that only made him more anxious. His body was tense, and he rolled his shoulders, moved his head back and forth on his neck, and cracked his knuckles. He felt itchy as hell from the inside out, like he was expecting some huge blow to arrive, but not knowing when it would come.

  The scent of the kine bud filled the room, and Wrath continued to walk around, making sure the people that worked for him were doing their jobs.

  Two armed guards stood by the only door leading in and out of this room, their guns strapped to their waists, their focus scanning the room. There were two tables set up, one covered with green, high quality bud, and the other having people weighing and bagging up the product.

  He mainly sold large quantities, but he also had nickel and dime bags, and even joints for small street sales.

  Wrath picked up a joint that had been rolled and eyed it. It was smooth, thick, and smelled good. Taking the lighter from inside of his pocket, he brought the tip of the joint to his lips, and lit up the other end. After he took a nice, long, deep inhale, he held the smoke in his lungs. Although he had people working for him on some pretty illegal shit, that didn’t mean Wrath trusted any of these motherfuckers.

  He exhaled, and a cloud of smoke wafted around him. “The lab’s going good?” he asked Henley, one of the men working for him, and the fucker he trusted the most.

  Henley had been with him from the beginning of all of this, and Wrath knew if shit went south Henley wouldn’t squeal, no matter what.

  “It’s smooth.” The reply came instantly.

  Even if he only trusted the guards stationed around the warehouse, he wasn’t all about having security cameras setup to watch the other assholes working for him. He might be able to get a good IT hacker on that shit so it was untraceable, but Wrath preferred to stay as far under the radar as possible.

  Having his hand in the pocket of the local PD also helped keep things running smoothly, but he still didn’t want to take any chances.

  The bastards cooking his meth, cutting the green, and making the heroin were getting paid to work for him, but if they crossed him or stole from him … they were nothing but blood and bones at his feet. He didn’t get his reputation by being a pussy, or letting things slide.

  Henley came up, the black mask he wore when he went into the meth lab hanging around his neck.

  “Let’s check out the others,” Wrath said, talking about the meth and heroin labs. Wrath set his joint aside, and they left the room, heading down the long corridor to check out the meth lab first.

  The warehouse he used to do all this shit was owned by a shady fucker, and because Wrath had helped him out of a few issues he had—issues that had been solved with threats and violence—he and the owner had an “understanding”.

  Henley slammed his knuckles down on the metal door that led to the meth lab, mainly just to give the cooks a heads-up they would be coming in, and to make sure anything that needed to stay clean was put away.

  “We’re good,” someone said from the intercom. Wrath pushed the door open, and he and Henley walked inside. There were three men working in the lab, two cooks and one assistant. They all wore biohazard suits and masks. Wrath stayed by the door as to not track any debris into the clean section of the lab.

  The lab was different from the other rooms. It had reinforced walls, a ventilation system that filtered out of the building all impurities from the cooking, and had the latest high-tech equipment he could find. Meth and heroin were where his money came from, and although he didn’t touch the stuff, he also wasn’t about to turn his back on what made him who he was, and what lined his pocket.

  He stayed where he was for a second, but then wanted a closer look at the newest batch. Wrath grabbed a mask and hazard suit to make sure no impurities came through while his product cooked. One of the cooks was over by a tray of newly cooked product, while the other man was mixing chemicals. The assistant was logging down weights and qualities of the day’s progress.

  “I have a shipment that needs to be sent out later this week,” Wrath said as he walked over to the recently made crystal.

  “Yes, sir,” the lead cook said. “We’ll have your specified amount by the end of the week.”

  Wrath grunted in acknowledgment. “Show me the product.” He walked over to the trays, and noticed one of them was cloudy. He felt his anger rise.

  “What the fuck is this?” Wrath stared at the cook. He could see the nervousness start to rise in the man. Good.

  He should be shitting his pants at the cloudy product he had made.

  “I know it’s supposed to be clear, sir—”

  Wrath growled low, cutting the man off. The cook’s eyes widened. “I have a reputation to uphold in this business. My product is crystal because the formula is clear and pure. I get you ingredients that will ensure this is top-notch. You start getting sloppy, or try and cut corners, and we get bullshit like this.” Wrath pointed to the tray of cloudy meth. “Low quality product fucks with my reputation.”

  “Sir—”

  Wrath shook his head, stopping the man from making an excuse. “I want this shit to be transparent,” Wrath said again with a bite in his voice. “You either ensure that, or we’ll have problems.”

  The cook nodded, his eyes still wide.

  Wrath looked at the other cook, and then at the assistant. Both were staring at him. “If you three can’t make this s
hit right, your service won’t be needed. Understand?” He didn’t need to elaborate on what that meant, because their service no longer needed meant they’d be in the ground six feet below.

  “I understand,” the cook said, and then the other two repeated it.

  Wrath stared in the man’s eyes and nodded. “Good, because we like having you on with us.” Wrath kept eye contact for longer than necessary, and saw the three start to become uncomfortable.

  Good, because fear was one hell of a motivator.

  Chapter Four

  Lila couldn’t sleep again, not with her mind on Wrath, and the fact she’d be meeting him tonight for the talk. God, could she really do this? Could she really admit how she felt? Tank had said Wrath was in love with her, and although she’d always thought about it, wanted that to be her reality, the fact was she’d stayed back because she was afraid.

  Lila was afraid of getting hurt, was afraid of the dark path she could go down if she gave herself fully to Wrath.

  And look at how well that worked out. You went down a dark path, got stuck with a man who was a worthless bastard, and although you came out whole, you missed so much in life.

  Being with Wrath, even if he was dangerous, would have been so much better than the life she’d had thus far. Wrath would never hurt her, would always protect her, and she walked away from all of that because she was afraid, because she was weak.

  Not anymore. She was telling him tonight how she felt, and that she didn’t want to hold herself back anymore.

  Life was too short.

  And she loved him so damn much.

  He’d watched her like he wanted to possess her, like he wanted to show her what it was like to be owned. And although she’d played it off like maybe it had all been in her head, hearing Tank tell her how Wrath felt for her—how he’d felt for her—gave her strength to do this tonight.

  She just hoped it wasn’t too late. Too much time had already passed between them.

  Too many fuck ups have been made.

  Opening her eyes and looking up at the ceiling, she felt Faye squirm beside her. Lila glanced at her sleeping daughter and smiled. She couldn’t help but feel happiness and love for this little girl. Lila made a silent promise that she’d make sure Faye never knew Spike, that she’d never know the evil person that had been the sperm donor. Lila would never reveal how shitty Spike had been, how he hadn’t even wanted this perfect little baby.

  No, Spike would never exist in Faye’s life. Lila would make sure of that.

  It was this revolving door of her own self-hatred, the fact she knew she’d screwed up, hadn’t been smart, and because of it people had gotten hurt, died, and she didn’t know if she could be herself again. Things had changed, some for the better, but others not so much.

  Pushing the covers off and sitting up on the edge of the bed, she sat there for a moment, just staring out the window. The moon was full, and a silvery glow came through the parted curtain. The house was silent now, and she knew sleep wouldn’t come to her, not tonight, not with everything.

  She thought about her brother, about everything he’d sacrificed for her … throughout her entire life. Their parents had been worthless, more involved with partying and drugs than taking care of their two children. It had been her and Tank—Brendan back then—against the world. But then Wrath had come into the picture early on, become best friends with Tank, and it had been the three of them. They’d protected her, sheltered her, even if she hadn’t wanted it at times. She’d wanted to be strong, and not rely on others for help to keep her afloat.

  Tank had done so much for her, had taken odd jobs, sometimes two and three at a time just to make sure they had a place to stay, food in their bellies, and clothes on their back. He’d not only been her brother, but her mother and father, too.

  He’d sacrificed his youth to make sure they survived.

  Thinking of Wrath again, Lila stared out the window and wondered about the life he was really leading right now.

  Nothing legal I’m sure.

  And I don’t even care. Love is stronger than anything else, and I love Wrath so damn much it hurts. I’ve wasted enough of my life.

  She knew that after holding Faye for the first time, and after seeing Tank and Wrath after all those years, that the only good and true thing in this world was love. And she wasn’t going to let go of that.

  Wrath wasn’t so different from Tank, not really. They were both considered “bad men” by society. But where Tank had his humanity, Wrath lacked it. He was darker, his own childhood shaping the man he was today. She knew enough about his past, about the fact he’d been abused by the ones that should have cared for him, that he’d witnessed far too much at a young age, to know because of all those things he was scarred forever.

  But he’s not broken. At least I hope not.

  ****

  No alcohol and no drugs before I see her.

  Wrath said those words over and over again, and although he wasn’t a junkie, and didn’t need a drop or a fix, he was strung out over tonight. He’d come to the realization that tonight would be the last night he saw Lila. He loved her so fucking much, and that’s why he’d walk away. She was better than he was, and she and the baby deserved to have a good life.

  And having me in that life isn’t in the equation.

  But having a drink to calm his nerves and level him out sounded pretty fucking good right now.

  No, he’d speak with her tonight, see her once more … one last time. And then he’d walk away from her forever. He’d have to do the same with Tank, because if he kept in contact with Lila’s brother, all Wrath would want to do was see and ask about her, and that wasn’t a good idea.

  He was a motherfucker, a deviant and thug, and she deserved so much better. Lila and Faye deserved a man with a law-abiding job, a three-bedroom house in the suburbs, and a white picket fence. She deserved a man that wouldn’t kill a fucker just for looking at her.

  But that’s what she needs. She needs someone that will protect her, that would kill to make sure she’s safe.

  Wrath shook his head at his thoughts.

  No, she didn’t need a bastard like him, tarnishing the life she could have, the perfect family.

  Clenching his hands around the steering wheel, and gritting his teeth, he tried to push the anger and jealousy out of him. But just thinking about Lila with someone else, that other man taking care of her and Faye, set Wrath on edge, had him seeing red, and made him want to draw blood.

  He stared at the restaurant she’d picked out. He’d wanted to do this right by being the one to pick her up and driving her to the restaurant, to be the man in all of this. But he wanted her to know she had the power, and ultimately the control over him. She’d wanted to meet here, to pick where they ate, and although he’d figured she’d pick something out in the open with a high population, he’d been pleasantly surprised she’d picked a small bistro on the edge of town.

  Pleasantly surprised? Fuck, get it through your head this is a good-bye. Nothing more.

  Seeing her out in the open would have been a hell of a lot better. It would have meant he could have controlled his emotions better.

  He shook his head at that thought. He’d never been able to control how he felt for Lila. It had grown every single fucking day until it was obsession, until she was the only one he could think about.

  Before he could think anymore on it, the flash of a set of headlights had him sitting up straighter in his Bentley. He watched Lila park the Honda Civic in the parking spot across from him. She didn’t realize he was there, watching her, his heart thundering, his cock already hard.

  He was a sick fuck, not even able to control himself.

  She sat there for a second, and he saw her looking around, as if she were searching for him. How many times had he wished she’d searched him out, that she’d come to him because she wanted to tell him how much she loved him? It had been too many times he’d thought about them being together, about loving on her, worsh
iping her, and letting her know that he’d move heaven and hell to make sure she was happy.

  And then she looked at him. Their gazes locked. A small smile played across her full lips, and his cock jerked in response. She lifted her hand in a small wave, and even though it had been months since he’d seen her, she’d never looked so beautiful to him.

  What would she think if I admitted I couldn’t be with any other woman because of her?

  How would she feel if she knew I couldn’t even get hard for another female?

  How would she react if she knew from the moment I fell in love with her I’d been using my hand to get off?

  Yeah, to say Wrath was so far gone for Lila was the fucking understatement of the century.

  Truth was he couldn’t even get hard for anyone but Lila, and he’d never even been intimate with her.

  He climbed out of the car at the same time she did.

  “Hi,” she said softly, and he forced himself not to take her in. He didn’t want to seem like that fucking creep that couldn’t control himself.

  But I can’t control myself when it comes to her.

  “Hi back,” he said, and moved closer to her. She eyed his car.

  “Very nice.”

  He didn’t want her to be impressed with his shit. He’d gotten everything he owned because of the drugs and guns he sold. He’d never been ashamed of what he did until this moment, and although he’d never change, he also didn’t want Lila to look at him as if he were successful.

  “It’s just a car,” he replied, looking at her profile, and wanting nothing more than to reach out and brush the stray piece of hair away from her cheek.

  She pointed to her Civic that looked like it had seen better days. “No, that’s just a car, and not even mine.” She smiled, and fuck did it light up everything in a ten-mile radius. Did she know how fucking gorgeous she was? “That’s something else,” she said in a whimsical voice as she looked at his Bentley.

  “Are you hungry?” he said, changing the subject because all he wanted to do was pull her in close and not let her go.