by Snow,Jenika
“I’m not good for you or Faye.” He turned his back to her and walked behind his desk.
Her anger grew exponentially. “Not good for me or Faye?” she asked incredulously. Still he didn’t turn and look at her.
Oh. Hell no.
“You fucking look at me when I’m taking to you,” she said from between her teeth. Wrath slowly turned around and faced her, his head downcast, his focus on her.
Yeah, not used to people talking to you like that, are you? Tough shit.
“Lila—”
“No,” she said, cutting him off and shaking her head. “You don’t get to say anything else.” Lifting her head, standing up tall, and knowing she should have seen this coming, she started to speak again. “You don’t get to tell me what’s good for me or my baby. You’ve know me my entire life, have always looked out for me—”
“And that’s what I’m fucking doing now,” he said, his voice raised, his anger clear. “Are you so damn desperate that you want a motherfucker like me?” His face was getting red from his anger. “Do you want to get hurt? Because being with me will likely get you fucking ruined, Lila.”
“No, you’re escaping,” she yelled right back at him. She was crying again, something she’d always done when she was angry. She hated it. “You’re running because of some screwed up notion that you’re not good enough for me. You don’t get to tell me what’s good or bad for me, Wrath.”
All he did was shake his head and grind his teeth.
“You’re afraid,” she whispered.
He didn’t speak for long seconds, and she expected him to argue, to lash out at her implying he was weak. But instead she saw this raw emotion flash across his face. “I let you and Bunny get hurt. I can’t properly protect you, Lila,” he said between clenched teeth. “I can’t make sure you and Faye won’t ever get hurt again.”
Her heart broke, but her anger was still strong. “It’s not your responsibility to make sure we’re safe.” She stared in his eyes. “It wasn’t your fault what happened.” She softened her voice. “You didn’t cause us to get hurt. Spike was the bastard that did that to us. It was all on him, and only him.”
He shook his head but didn’t speak. The anger was still on his face.
“You didn’t cause us to get hurt, Wrath,” she said again, with more force.
“Yes. I. Fucking. Did.”
The silence stretched out then for long moments, and she wondered if she went up to him if he’d let her close. But the hard, still frigid look he gave her told her not to try.
“I sell drugs, guns, and do really bad shit, Lila.” He walked around the desk, his focus on her. “And you know what?” he asked and moved a step closer. “I wouldn’t change it, Lila.” He smiled, the grin on his face dangerous, sadistic even. “I won’t ever change, won’t ever stop what I’m doing.” He moved another step closer, but she held her place. “Can you say you’re really okay with that type of man—me—being closer to your baby daughter?” He moved another step closer, his heat finally spearing into her. “Can you honestly say it doesn’t bother you to have a motherfucker like me inside of you?”
She was breathing hard, not wanting to cry, but her emotions so turbulent right now it was hard to keep her control.
“I’m not the man for you, Lila. I’m not the person who can spend his life trying to be good enough for you.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “You and Faye deserve so much better than a fucker like me.” Back in place was that cold expression. “I’m saving your life here.”
She was so far beyond pissed she wasn’t even going to try to hide it. “You don’t really mean that.”
“Fuck,” he roared out, and she flinched, moving a step back. She saw the emotion pass across his face, maybe because he hadn’t meant to frighten her, but he masked it right away. “Christ, Lila.” He ran a hand over his hair. “I kill people,” he spit out. “And I fucking enjoy it.”
She covered her hand over her mouth, her shock over how this played out making her feel like she’d fallen right into an alternate dimension.
“Dammit, Lila. Don’t you fucking understand me?” He was shouting now. “I can’t be with you. I won’t be with you.” He was all but shaking now, and his big body looked so strung out. “I killed a man, and fucking liked it. That’s why I went to prison all those years ago. That’s why I was out of your life.”
She swallowed the shock that made a lump in her throat.
“He fucked me over, screwed with my empire, and I took him out.”
She didn’t know what to say.
“Yeah, you understand all right.” He took once more step closer. “I made him pay, set an example of him so others didn’t fuck with me.” He stared right in her eyes. “I didn’t make it a fast death, Lila.” He shook his head slowly, and she saw this gleam in his eyes. “I made him scream, and right before I ended his life he was crying like a little bitch, begging me to end it for him.”
And that was her breaking point. She narrowed her eyes at him, straightened her shoulders, and took on the same cold, dead expression as he had. “Fuck you.”
He didn’t respond.
“You love me, and I love you.”
“Fucking hell, woman.” He turned and gave her his back. “You are not the woman for me, for the life I lead.” he turned and faced her. “We fucked, and that’s all it can be.”
“You’re weak, afraid, and clearly not man enough to own up to what you want.” And with that she turned and left him standing there, needing to leave this fucking place. Right now she couldn’t even think straight.
If Wrath wanted her gone, then she was more than happy to make that his reality. She didn’t want to be where she wasn’t welcome. But a part of her fought this the entire way, demanding this wasn’t right.
She ignored it because right now her hurt and anger were too real.
Chapter Eleven
Wrath gritted his teeth, the sound of the door slamming shut behind Lila not as powerful or loud as the fact he’d made her cry.
God, I hurt her … again.
He closed his eyes and breathed out, not sure why the fuck he’d done all of this given the fact he loved her so much.
You know why you did this. It is to protect her. You fucking deserve this. She’s too good for you.
He loved her so fucking much though. His chest ached at the thought of her not in his life. But that pain meant he’d done the right thing.
Right?
He’d been the biggest bastard imaginable, but it was for the best. It was the way it had to be. The sooner he cut her out of his life the better things would be. Wrath was worried about being in Lila and Faye’s life. He was worried about all the negative shit he’d bring on them.
And I worry the life I lead will end up hurting them. And I can’t live with myself if I caused them pain.
Everything was fucked up, and although he shouldn’t touch a drop of alcohol to numb the pain and anger, he needed a stiff drink.
Pulling out his phone, he called Henley, who he knew was at the warehouse and the only one he trusted to make sure Lila was taken care of right now.
“Yeah, Boss?”
“The woman I came here with left. She should be reaching the warehouse entrance any minute. Take her home and make sure she’s safe.”
He wanted to be the one to make sure she was protected, but she didn’t want him in her life anymore, and that’s how it should be.
I should have stayed away. I should have set up operations further from her.
“I’m on it,” Henley said.
Wrath hung up without saying anything else. He stared down at his cell, curled his hand around it, and without thinking anymore because his emotions were so turbulent, he threw the fucking thing against the wall. It was slightly satisfying seeing the phone crack and break into pieces, but it didn’t help his self-hatred.
The only thing he could think about, the only thing that sounded remotely appealing right now, was drinking until he was bli
ssfully passed out. Yeah, he’d have to deal with this shit after the intoxication wore off, but at least he’d have a little bit of a reprieve from his emotions.
Why the hell had he been with her? It had made this so much worse. If he’d just stayed away from her, hadn’t been a selfish prick and been with her, she wouldn’t be hurt because of him.
It was better that he told her about his seedy life now, because waiting would have only made things harder … worse. It’s not like she didn’t know the type of man he was. Hell, he’d been a bastard back in the day. But now, now he was the king of the motherfuckers, the one that all others who did their shady business in the dark, were afraid of.
The ache in his chest intensified. He could smell Lila on his clothes, on his fucking skin. He ran a hand over his hair, cursed something foul, and knew he needed that damn drink.
He should have gone after her, shouldn’t have pushed her away like he had. But all he could think about was how much pain he’d cause her in the long run.
And there would be pain. It was inevitable, because he was corroded, every fucking part of him.
****
She wiped the tears away, hating herself that she couldn’t even control her emotion.
Fuck this.
Fuck him.
He’d been pushing her away, showing her the gritty life he led. But it wasn’t because he led such a corrupted life that she’d left. It was because he’d pushed so much, made so much effort to have her gone in that moment, that all she’d been able to do was leave. Her emotions had been raw, exposed, and running away from the source had seemed like the only thing she’d been able to do.
“God damn you, Wrath,” she whispered to herself and wiped away her tears angrily. Lila walked faster through the warehouse, needing to escape. She didn’t even know how in the hell to get home. Once she was outside she’d have to call Tank to pick her up, which would lead her to having to tell him a part of the truth.
Because telling him exactly what went down, before and after, is not going to happen.
She heard footsteps behind her, and clenched her jaw. If Wrath thought he could act the way he had, pushing her away in the most disgusting manner, then fuck him.
He better not even try to smooth this over. I am beyond pissed.
Although the majority of the lights were off in the warehouse, and everything seemed still and silent, she wasn’t a fool to think there weren’t armed men all over the place, especially after what Wrath had just shown her.
The footsteps behind her were coming closer.
She stopped, took a deep breath, and turned around.
But the man that was partially hidden in the shadows wasn’t Wrath. He was just as big as Wrath, though, with tattoos visible under the sleeves of his shirt and also the collar. He also had a dark bandana hanging from his neck, and she knew it was because of the drugs, to protect himself and the product.
Or maybe he just wanted to stay covered to stay anonymous? It’s not like they were doing legal dealings here.
“The boss wants me to take you home,” the man said in a deep voice.
“Thanks, but no thanks,” she spat out. “I can find my own way.” She turned, but he took a step closer, which had her stilling.
“There isn’t negotiation on this. If the boss says I’m to take you home, that’s what I’m doing.”
Lila felt her annoyance rise. She lifted an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest. “Is that so?” He didn’t respond, but then again she hadn’t been asking a question. “Well, tell your boss to go fuck himself. I’ll have Tank come and get me.” She was beyond pissed, and screw Wrath for bringing some babysitter to make sure she got home okay. If he was so worried about it, he should have been man enough to do this himself. “Now run along and relay the message.” She turned and started walking faster toward the front door.
God, she was furious.
But the man kept following her, which set her teeth on edge.
She walked through the front doors, the cool air crisp. She wanted to forget about this night, about how ugly it had ended, but her body remembered quite well what they’d shared. Hell, her pussy was still sore from the way Wrath had taken her erotically, possessively.
Lila grabbed her cell phone out, knowing that man was still behind her, but just going with ignoring his ass. She didn’t need a babysitter, especially not one that worked with Wrath.
But as she held the phone, her emotions turbulent, she couldn’t help but feel sadness at how things had played out. Wrath had pushed her away because he thought he was a failure, because he wanted to protect her
Well he’s got a shitty way of trying to make this work.
No way in hell am I going to feel sorry for him. He didn’t have to go down this road.
She hovered over the numbers on her cell, wanting to punch them, but also hating having to call Tank. It was late, and she hated bothering him, but she didn’t know who else to call to come get her. She also wasn’t going to have this strange man take her, even if he did work with Wrath. She’d rather sit and wait for her brother than deal with all of that.
Looking over her shoulder at the guy, she saw he had his focused trained right on her. It was clear he probably didn’t get denied much in life, and he probably liked things going his way—just like Wrath—but tough shit.
He grabbed his cell phone, his eyes still right on hers, and after a second said, “She says some guy named Tank will get her.” There was a second of silence. “Okay.” The man hung up, tucked the phone back in his pocket, and didn’t move.
“Had to tell on me, huh?” she taunted him, taking out her frustration on this man. He didn’t move, didn’t even speak. “God, you’re as stubborn as he is,” she mumbled out.
“You forgot to relay my ‘fuck you’ message to your boss.”
“You can let him know your feelings shortly.” He finally spoke, his voice deep, harsh.
Tell him my feelings shortly?
Just what she needed, Wrath coming to face her again. She didn’t want to see him, didn’t even want to think about him.
Tough shit. That’s going to happen. He’s always on your mind.
She looked back at her phone, and just as she was about to dial her brother’s number, and really tell Wrath to screw himself because she had a ride, the front doors swung open. She was about to punch in the last number when her phone was snatched out of her hand. She turned and glared up at Wrath, the anger she wanted to throw at him right at the surface. She was so enraged right now, hating him for the way he’d decided to end this night.
“Come on,” he said in a low, almost dangerous voice. He grabbed her loosely around the wrist and hauled her over to his car.
She could have fought him on this, but instead she got in the passenger seat, tensed when he slammed the door behind her, and stared at him as he rounded the front of the car. Every muscle in her body was strung tight, but when he climbed into the driver’s seat she forced herself to look the other way and stay calm.
A silent ride was for the best.
The entire car ride passed in silence, and the sadness that Lila felt only intensified with the passing minutes. She refused to even look at him, or hell, acknowledge he was in the car beside her.
When he finally pulled up to Tank’s house she opened the door, but right before she got out she said, “If you wanted to push me away you could have done me the decency of not telling me all that bullshit after fucking me.” She looked over at him. He was staring out the windshield, the cut of his jaw severe. A muscle under his cheek flexed. “If not because you’ve known me nearly my whole life, then because you didn’t want to hurt me.”
And with that she got out of the car and headed inside.
Chapter Twelve
“Fuck,” he cursed out and turned to watch Lila go into the house. It was late, and he’d originally wanted to bring her home. But being alone with her after all the shit that had gone had seemed like a horrible idea. But when Henley said s
he was having Tank get her, Wrath knew he had to suck it up and be a man, and do right—at least in this instance—by the woman he loved.
He had to be decent, if only for this one moment.
Tank would no doubt find out about a version of the story. He didn’t know if Lila would tell her brother everything, but even if she didn’t Tank was perceptive and would be able to figure out something was wrong.
He wanted to go inside and be with Lila. Wrath wanted to explain he was a failure in so many fucking regards, that he couldn’t protect her the way a real man did. But instead he put the car into gear and drove away.
He hoped this was said and done, because even if deep down he didn’t want to walk away from her, it was best for her and that innocent baby if he wasn’t in their lives.
****
Several days later
Tank wanted to beat Wrath’s ass. He’d said as much and looked ready to do it right now. But Lila had talked him out of it.
“This isn’t about you. It’s about Wrath and me.” She brushed a tear away, hating that she was still getting so upset. She should bury her emotions and try to be strong, at least in front of Tank and Bunny.
“He’s a dumb motherfucker.”
“Tank. Your language,” Bunny scolded, and when Lila glanced at her brother’s old lady she couldn’t help but think what a wonderful mother Bunny would be one day.
“Faye doesn’t understand me,” Tank said.
“I don’t care,” Bunny shot back. “You’ll have to learn to watch your mouth anyway. When she gets older, you want your niece running around calling random people motherfuckers?”
Lila started laughing.
“Faye will be a badass when she’s older.”
Bunny rolled her eyes. “Can you take her and lay her down for a nap? I want to speak with Lila.”
Tank got up and gave Lila a hug and kiss on the top of the head. He walked over to Bunny, gave his woman a kiss on the lips, then reached down and cradled Faye.