An Amish Year

by Beth Wiseman

  Saul glanced at her but then looked forward. “Nee, I’m going to get the garden put in too.” He flinched again, and Rosemary wondered if this was about needing the money. She knew that was why her father had changed his mind about having Saul put in the garden. Daed saw an opportunity to have a garden for the first time in years, but he also saw a chance to help someone.

  “If that arm gives you trouble, Saul, I don’t expect you to do either of those jobs,” her father said. “Katherine Huyard keeps us supplied with fresh vegetables. And she doesn’t have any chickens, so I try to make sure she always has plenty of eggs.” He twisted around. “That reminds me, Rosemary, I want you to pick out one of the goats to give Katherine. She’s been mighty gut to us, and her only goat died last week. She loves to make soap from goat’s milk, like your mamm used to do.”

  Rosemary was quiet. She thought about not seeing Katherine so often once the garden was finished. For the first time, she wondered what Katherine’s life must be like. Lonely, she decided. No matter her bubbly personality, Katherine was bound to miss her husband. They’d been married a long time, at least ten years.

  Rosemary was sure she’d let her own bitterness affect her attitude lately. Just because she was unhappy, she surely didn’t wish that on others. She tried to recall the last time she laughed and couldn’t. One word always came to mind. Cheated. God had taken her mother much too soon. And Rosemary had no time to herself amid taking care of her father and brothers. As much as she loved them all, she often found herself wondering if happiness would ever come her way. She glanced at Saul again. And the same word surfaced. She’d been cheated out of a relationship with the one man she’d wanted to be with.

  When Barbie parked at the pharmacy, Rosemary offered to go in and get both of their prescriptions. The men both nodded, and Saul said to let him know how much his cost.

  Once Rosemary was in line at the pharmacy, she asked the woman in front of her what time it was. She’d already called Esther and left a message, telling her what had happened. And she’d asked Esther to meet the boys at the house after school if they were still at the hospital. But it looked like Rosemary and her father would be home in plenty of time. She would ask Barbie to get word to Esther.

  Thirty minutes later, her father was asleep in the front seat and they were pulling into Saul’s driveway. It was a beautiful home, a big place that had been in his family for three generations. The farmhouse looked freshly painted, and so did the white picket fence surrounding a lovely garden. All the flower beds were filled with colorful blooms. Rosemary felt a pang of jealousy but quickly stuffed it away. She didn’t want to be that kind of person. Maybe someday she’d figure out how to balance her time well enough to have a lovely home, an organized household, and flourishing flower beds. She thought about Katherine. And freshly ironed dresses, aprons, and kapps. But she sat taller, smug with the idea of having her own garden soon. The price was having Saul around for a week. Maybe the Lord was angry with Rosemary to put such temptation right outside her own front door. She cringed, knowing that wasn’t how God worked. And despite her feelings for Saul, Rosemary knew it was a temptation she would have to resist.

  Elizabeth Petersheim shielded her eyes from the drizzle as she hurried down the porch steps and across the yard. She was at the van when Saul slid the door open.

  “I’ve been worried sick. Your father got the message you left at the shanty, but not until an hour later.” Elizabeth’s eyes drifted to her son’s bandaged arm. “Are you in pain?”

  “Nee.” Saul stepped out of the van, and Rosemary wondered if he’d been given pain medication at the hospital. He winced as he stood, and Rosemary’s father awoke and rolled down his window.

  Elizabeth and Daed exchanged greetings, and Elizabeth asked how he was feeling. “I will be just fine. Danki, Elizabeth.” Her father turned to Saul. “I was running just as hard and fast as you were. This wasn’t anyone’s fault. Just an accident. But I appreciate your offer to finish the planting, and it will be nice to have a garden again.”

  Rosemary saw the look in her father’s eyes, the faraway gaze he got when he was thinking about her mother.

  “I’ll be there next Monday after we finish the job we’re working on this week.” Saul was holding his injured arm now, his mouth tight and grim, like he might be gritting his teeth. “Stay off that ankle as much as you can for a few days before you start using the crutches, like the doctor said.” He reached into his pocket, pulled out some money, and handed it to Barbie. She argued and tried not to accept it, but in the end, Saul convinced her to take it. Gas wasn’t cheap these days. He’d already paid Rosemary for his prescription.

  Elizabeth latched onto Saul’s arm. “Danki for bringing him home, and Wayne, please let me know if you need anything. Take care.” She gave a quick wave as she tugged on Saul’s uninjured arm. “Let’s get you out of the rain.”

  It was endearing the way Elizabeth nurtured her grown son. Rosemary assumed those maternal feelings must hang on forever, no matter how old your children got. Rosemary wanted nothing more than a houseful of children. And a husband to help rear them. She looked at Saul. He waved, and just before he turned to leave, Rosemary saw him clench his jaw. She had no doubt that Saul was hurting much more than he’d let on. She waited until they were almost home before she said anything.

  “Daed, I’ll make time to plant the garden. Maybe Saul can just supervise Jesse and Josh on the plow.”

  Her father twisted to face her. “I know you have way too much to do, mei maedel. I don’t think I’ve ever pushed you about that garden. Besides, it sounds like Saul could use the money if he doesn’t have any work lined up for next week. I’m sure Katherine will keep us stocked with vegetables until our garden starts producing.” Daed smiled. “It’s a gut arrangement, trading eggs and a goat for her produce. But even after our garden is flourishing, I’ll continue to invite Katherine to gather eggs for herself. No need for her to bother with chickens when we have such a plentiful supply of eggs.”

  Rosemary was quiet as she pondered exactly what it was about Katherine that she didn’t like. Yes, she was a bit jealous that Katherine always seemed to have herself together and be so organized and cheerful. Rosemary knew good and well that jealousy was a sin, but even as she made a mental note to work on it, something else about Katherine bothered her. Something Rosemary couldn’t quite put her finger on.

  Saul went straight to the bathroom and sat down on the side of the tub, cradling his arm as he bit his bottom lip to keep from crying. Whatever they’d given him in the hospital before they treated his wound had worn off, and it felt like his arm was on fire from his elbow to his wrist. He’d turned down the prescription for pain medication, thinking it would slow him down and make him sleepy. Right now, all he wanted to do was sleep. He would take the antibiotics like the doctor said and hope he healed quickly, for sure by next Monday when he needed to start work at the Lantzes’ place. He would spend the rest of the week mostly supervising and give his arm a break.

  He’d seen a softer side of Rosemary, and as much as he looked forward to the possibility of spending more time with her, it was going to be a challenge to get the work done unless his arm was much better. He jumped when someone knocked on the bathroom door.

  “Saul, are you okay? Mamm said you hurt your arm. Do you need anything?” His sister was the caregiver in the family, even more so than their mother. Saul could remember when Lena was younger and she’d told everyone that she was going to leave the community to go be a nurse or doctor. At some point she’d given up the idea, and two years ago she got baptized. But she was born to tend to others.

  “I’m okay, Lena.”

  “I’m going to help Mamm get supper started. You holler if you need anything.”

  Saul waited until Lena’s foot
steps got farther away, then he pulled his arm close to him, and for the first time since he was a young boy, he cried. The doctor had told him that it was a nasty wound, but he didn’t realize how bad it was until the pain medication wore off. He’d made a point not to watch the doctor cleaning and bandaging it. Saul planned to tend to it himself and do his best to help out the Lantzes. He was thankful he’d hurt his left arm and not his right.

  Rosemary had acted a little like the girl he remembered and the young woman he’d fallen in love with years ago. Compassionate and loving. She wasn’t the spirited, happy person she used to be, but Saul was committed to peeling back the layers of sadness that had consumed her since her mother died. He couldn’t imagine that kind of pain, to lose someone so close. But surely the old Rosemary was in there somewhere, and he wasn’t going to stop searching. He dabbed at his eyes, glad no one was around to see him like this. He dreaded having to change the bandage on his arm tomorrow. Maybe he’d let Lena do it after all. For now, he just wanted to rest. Despite the aroma of something delicious wafting up the stairs, Saul walked to his room and eased down onto the bed. He would rest for just a bit before supper.

  Chapter Four

  MONDAY MORNING, ROSEMARY FINISHED SCRAMBLING eggs and making scrapple while her father and the boys sat patiently at the kitchen table. Over the past week, her father had gotten used to his crutches and was getting around pretty well. Katherine had been to the house every day, bringing not just vegetables but also pies, casseroles, and loaves of bread. And in exchange, she’d picked up some eggs and accepted one of their goats. They had a dozen of the animals, so they wouldn’t miss one.

  She hadn’t had a chance to chat with Katherine much, and that was okay. Her father usually met her at her buggy, then together they went and gathered eggs. Rosemary was thankful for Katherine’s help, and even though she felt inferior, Rosemary was working to shed any bad feelings about the woman. Katherine had good intentions.

  Rosemary put the bowl of eggs on the table and sat down. After they bowed their heads and prayed silently, her father pointed his fork at both Jesse and Joshua.

  “Saul will be here today to finish up the planting and to start a garden for your sister. If he doesn’t bring his crew with him, get your chores done after school, then see if you can give him a hand.” He looked down and scooped up a forkful of eggs.

  Jesse and Joshua both frowned as they glanced at each other.

  At eleven and thirteen, both were at an age when they’d sometimes argue, but though they didn’t look happy, neither said anything. Little Abner didn’t seem to have a care in the world as he lathered up his biscuit with way too much butter. Abner had been spending a lot of time with their father. Daed would often sit on the couch and read, his foot propped up on the coffee table. He’d start each morning saying how useless he felt, but when Abner crawled up on the couch and snuggled in next to him with a book, both soon had big smiles on their faces.

  Katherine usually came around late in the afternoons, mindful to come and go before the supper hour. Rosemary knew she should invite Katherine for supper every now and then since the woman would most likely go home and eat alone. But would she find the inside of the Lantzes’ house as untidy as the outside? She’d never known her father to be sloppy, but now that he was couch-bound most of the time, he’d started leaving his glasses and plates on the coffee table. Books would pile up on the floor and end tables, and this morning he’d spilled coffee on the counter and hadn’t cleaned it up. Rosemary was happy to take care of her father, but other things then got pushed aside. She glanced at the wood floors in the kitchen that desperately needed sweeping.

  “I don’t want peanut butter and jelly,” Jesse said as he inspected the contents of his lunch pail.

  Rosemary knew it wasn’t his favorite, but she’d run out of lunch meat, and she was on the last of the groceries. She needed to make a trip to town. Jesse was a picky eater, and most of what Katherine brought, he wouldn’t touch. “Well, it will have to do for today.” She opened the refrigerator and stowed the butter. Jesse stormed off, letting the screen door in the living room slam behind him.

  Once the boys were off to school, she finished the breakfast dishes and wiped down the counters and stovetop. She’d just reached for the broom when she heard a buggy coming up the driveway. Saul.

  She looked out the window as Saul tethered his horse to the fence, but then stepped out of sight when he came toward the house. The doors were open, as were the windows, but it wouldn’t cool down until after sunset. She pulled a handkerchief from her apron pocket, dabbed at her forehead, then put it back. By the time she reached the living room, her father was on his crutches, pushing the screen door open. Rosemary waited until Saul was inside and her father was finished explaining what was left to do in the fields, then she asked about Saul’s arm. It was still bandaged from his elbow down to his wrist.

  “Much better,” he said, barely smiling. “And it will just be me doing the work. We ended up getting a pretty big painting job the end of last week, so my whole crew is working on that. It might take me a while since I’ll be working by myself.”

  Daed scratched his forehead as he leaned most of his weight on one crutch. “Saul, if you need to supervise your employees, or . . .”

  “Nee, nee. They’ll be fine. I’ve got plenty of people on the job site, so this works out gut.”

  Daed nodded. “Hopefully Josh and Jesse can give you a hand after school.”

  Abner walked up to where they were standing in the living room and tugged on Rosemary’s blue dress. She glanced down at him. “What is it, Abner?”

  “Is Katherine coming today?”

  Rosemary glanced at her father, but he was busy readjusting his crutches and didn’t look up. “I guess. She comes by most days.”

  “Gut.” Abner walked over to the couch and sat down. She hadn’t been giving Abner much attention lately. There’d just been so much to do. Sometimes Abner walked to the chicken coop with their father and Katherine to collect eggs.

  “Well, I’ll get to it.” Saul tipped the brim of his hat, then turned to leave.

  “Dinner is at noon,” Rosemary said as he closed the screen door behind him.

  Turning back around to face her, Saul said, “Lena packed me a lunch, so I can just eat in the fields and get right back to work.”

  “I won’t hear of it.” Daed pounded one of the crutches against the wood floor. “It’s mighty hot already for May. You’ll need a break from the heat and a gut meal in your belly.”

  Saul nodded, glancing at Rosemary with a slight grin. “I’m sure whatever Lena packed won’t be nearly as gut as Rosie’s cooking.”

  Rosemary felt the flush rising up her neck to her cheeks, but before she could acknowledge the compliment, Saul had turned around and was heading down the steps. Having him around for the next week or so was going to be torture. She planned to stay busy, even though no amount of chores was going to completely rid her mind of him.

  She spent the rest of the morning trying to get the kitchen spick-and-span in between running loads of clothes through the wringer and hanging them on the line to dry. When she’d pinned a load of towels to the line earlier, she’d seen Saul guiding the horses and plow across the far stretch of land. Now as she took down the last load from the line, she didn’t see him anywhere. She was walking back to the house when she heard him call her name. She stopped and turned around, balancing the laundry basket on her hip. Her father was right. It was hot for this time of year. She ran the sleeve of her dress across her forehead and squinted from the sun’s glare as she waited for Saul to reach her.

  “I’m going to finish planting today, then tomorrow I’ll get started on your garden. Do you have a tiller, or should I bring one from home?”


  Rosemary shifted the laundry basket to the other hip as she thought for a moment. “I think we have one. I’ll check with Daed to make sure it still runs.” She glanced at his arm. “So, you said it’s much better?”

  “Ya.” Saul was staring at her, and she hated that she could feel herself blushing again.

  “I’ll be serving lunch in just a few minutes if you want to wash up.” She nodded toward the pump on the north side of the house, but Saul didn’t move. Then he took a slow step toward her and leaned closer. Rosemary couldn’t breathe. As his face neared hers, she fought the panic pounding in her chest. Even though he towered over her by several inches, he was hunched down enough that he could easily kiss her. Saul was the only man she’d ever kissed, and even though it had been five years, she could still recall the heady sensation his kisses brought on and the tenderness of his touch. She should put some distance between them and not do anything to lead him on. The logical part of her brain told her this since they couldn’t have a life together, but instead she barely parted her lips and thought about how often she’d dreamed of this moment.

  Saul reached up with his right hand and swatted at her prayer covering. She dropped the clothes basket and brought a hand to her head. “What are you doing?”

  “Sorry!” he said when Rosemary jumped. “A bumblebee was crawling on your kapp. Lena got stung by one last week, and it swelled up to the size of a walnut. She was miserable for days.”

  “Danki,” she said softly as she leaned down and picked up the laundry basket, glad her freshly folded towels hadn’t spilled onto the grass. She turned and hurried to the house without looking back. Her heart was still pounding, and she was weak in the knees. There was no doubt in her mind that she would have let Saul kiss her. He would have felt the love she had in her heart for him. It had been hard enough to walk away from him when they were teenagers. She’d cried for two weeks. It would be even harder now. She needed to be careful not to get too close to him since she wasn’t sure she could trust herself.