An Amish Year

by Beth Wiseman

It had taken a lot of convincing for Katherine to agree to come for supper, and she didn’t exactly mention to Katherine that her father didn’t know about the invitation. Rosemary turned to her father, who was now standing with one crutch under his arm. She tried to read his expression, wondering how mad he was, but the instant twinkle in his eye let Rosemary know she’d made the right decision.

  “Hello, everyone.” Katherine’s eyes were still swollen from crying, but they sparkled just the same when she looked at Rosemary’s father.

  “Supper is ready, so let’s all move into the kitchen.” She carried the dessert Katherine had brought and put it on the counter. Guess I’m going to need to learn how to make this since Saul loves it so much. As soon as she had the thought, she hoped she wasn’t being too presumptuous. She could easily visualize a life with Saul now, and there wasn’t any reason that they couldn’t adopt children someday. She knew several Amish couples who had. She touched her stomach with one hand and briefly thought about never feeling a new life growing inside her. But it had been five years, and she was still as in love with Saul as she’d ever been. Would it really have been fair to marry someone else, someone who would always be second to Saul?

  She turned around as they all moved into the kitchen, just in time to see that Katherine and her father weren’t the only ones with a twinkle in their eyes. Saul winked at her again, and somehow she knew that everything was going to be all right. For all of them.

  During the meal, Saul ate like he was eating for two grown men, but both Rosemary’s father and Katherine picked at their food. Rosemary had hoped that after a few days without seeing Katherine, perhaps her father had changed his mind. She caught Katherine sneaking glances at Daed, but her father was a tough one to read. She hoped she hadn’t misread his earlier expressions. Daed had always told Rosemary that it was hard to tell what was going on in her head, the same as it had been with her mother. But Rosemary had always thought that it was her father who was often the hard one to read.

  “Please let me help you clean this up,” Katherine said when Rosemary began clearing the table.

  Rosemary thought about the last supper Katherine had with them. “That would be gut. Danki.”

  Katherine began running soapy water in the sink while Rosemary continued clearing the table. As she reached for her father’s plate, she cut her eyes in his direction and held her breath. When he winked at her, she relaxed. Everyone is winking tonight. She smiled at him, and after the kitchen was clean, Katherine excused herself to the bathroom, and following the plan, Saul walked out to the porch.

  Rosemary whispered to her father once they were alone, “Time is too short. I know you love Katherine, and Mamm would want you to be happy. God is giving you another chance at love, at happiness.” She paused, studying her father’s guarded expression. “I’ve been wrong about Katherine, and she loves you very much.” Her father opened his mouth to speak, but Rosemary beat him to it. “And I know you love her.”

  Katherine walked back into the kitchen, and Rosemary hurried out the door to the porch. Daed had to know this was all a setup, but she prayed that he could rid himself of any guilt and be happy with Katherine.

  “Well, they didn’t say much to each other during supper. Do you think they’ll get back together?” Saul stood up from the rocker. “It’s hard to tell what your father is thinking, but he couldn’t hide his happiness when he first saw Katherine at the door.”

  “I know.” Rosemary walked to where Saul was standing. She had so much more on her mind than her father and Katherine, even though that was important to her. “Danki for going along with my idea. I’m sorry we didn’t get to go out to supper like we planned.”

  Saul edged closer. “Then I guess you still owe me a date.” He smiled, and as a gentle breeze swept across the porch, Rosemary caught the scent of something spicy. Saul gazed into her eyes, and she knew what was coming. They’d waited five years, and it was hard not to have regrets, but if things had happened any differently, they might not be together now. God always had a plan. On His time frame.

  “Ya, I guess I do still owe you a date.” Rosemary squinted from the late-afternoon sun rays dipping beneath the porch rafters, and Saul instantly moved slightly to his left to put her in his shadow.

  “Well, I’m pretending this is a date, and I know what happens at the end of a date, or what I’ve always prayed would happen when I finally got to take you out.” As he leaned down, his lips met with hers, and Rosemary felt sixteen again, sharing her first kiss with the man she’d always thought she would marry.

  “Give me the chance, Rosie, and I’ll spend the rest of my life loving you and making you happy.” Saul kissed her again, and she decided there would be no more worrying about children. God would provide if it was meant to be.

  They both jumped when the screen door creaked and Katherine and her father walked onto the porch. Katherine was smiling, which was enough for Rosemary.

  “Shame on you for being so tricky,” her father said in a stern voice as he pointed a finger at Rosemary. But then his expression broke into a smile, and Rosemary made her way to where he was standing to hug him. “I love you, Daed.”

  “I love you too, dochder.” He kissed her on the cheek before he eased her away and moved toward Saul, and as the men stood chatting, Rosemary walked over to Katherine.

  As they shared a hug, Katherine whispered, “Danki, Rosemary. I will always love your father and be very gut to him. I’ll be a gut mudder to the boys too.” She stepped back, latching onto both of Rosemary’s hands with hers. “And I promise not to step on your toes. It’s still your haus, and I’ll fit into whatever role you would like.”

  Rosemary smiled as she squeezed Katherine’s hands. They hadn’t formally announced it, but based on Katherine’s comments, Rosemary knew the wedding must be back on. “Nonsense. It will be your haus, and . . .” She paused, smiling as she looked over at Saul, then she leaned closer to Katherine. “I think Saul and I are going to make up for lost time, so it might be your haus sooner than you think.”

  “Ach, Rosemary. I’m so glad. He’s always loved you, since you were both sixteen.”

  Rosemary took a deep breath, basking in the hope that she felt, the love in her heart that had always been there—in hiding—for Saul.

  “I thought we were going for a walk,” Rosemary’s father bellowed, then gave a hardy laugh. “Where’s mei maedel?”

  Katherine bounced up on her toes, kissed Rosemary on the cheek, then ran to the man who would be her partner. When they had passed through the yard and toward the open fields, Rosemary watched the man who would be her partner moving toward her.

  He kissed her again, and Rosemary counted the many blessings of the evening.

  Saul nodded toward the maroon pot at the far end of the porch. “Sometimes it takes a while for a passionflower to root, but once it does, it can thrive for years with nourishment and love.”

  Rosemary’s heart was fluttering as she listened. Her mother had told her the same thing years ago. Their passionflower had thrived for a long time. But Rosemary had let it die after her mamm passed. But she had a second chance with this one and was going to make sure to nurture it so it would stay rooted in love for a lifetime.

  Just like she planned to do with Saul.

  “I’ve missed this.” Saul kissed her again but then eased away. “Rosie, I’m fearful to bring this up and ruin the moment . . .” He took a deep breath. “But one thing is going to continue to haunt me. Can you tell me why you walked away before?” He paused, but spoke again before she could answer. “Because I don’t want to make the same mistake again.”

  Rosemary swallowed back the lump in her throat. “It was never anything you did. I’ve been just as afraid to te
ll you the truth as you were to bring up this subject. Probably more so.”

  “You can tell me anything, Rosie. It won’t make me love you any less.”

  He loves me. But will he still after I tell him the truth?

  She looked down, but Saul gently cupped her chin and brought her eyes to his. “There’s nothing you can tell me that will cause me to walk away.”

  “I don’t know about that,” she said softly.

  They were both quiet, and Rosemary leaned up and kissed him on the mouth, just in case it was the last time she’d be able to. She lingered for a while, but she knew she owed him an explanation.

  She eased away and took a step backward, but kept her eyes locked with his.

  “I-I always wanted kinner.” She lowered her eyes for a few moments, then looked back up at him. “And I just couldn’t imagine not having a large family. I know. It was selfish. I should have known that our feelings back then would have been enough to sustain us, but I just couldn’t imagine my life without children.” She closed her eyes and waited, but when Saul didn’t say anything, she slowly looked up at him. “Please say something.”

  He took off his hat, scratched his forehead, then put his hat back on. “I want a large family too. We used to talk about that when we were together back then.”

  “Ya, I know we did.” She moved closer to him, praying that he’d understand. “I was young, and I thought that if I walked away from you, I’d find someone else whom I would love just as much, someone who could have children.” She shook her head. “But there’s never been anyone else, Saul. Only you.”

  He was quiet for a few moments, then he rubbed his cheek and chuckled. “Rosemary . . .” He shook his head. “What in the world are you talking about?”

  Rosemary bit her lip and tried to calm her breathing. “I know you can’t have kinner. One day I overheard your mamm talking to her cousin Naomi who was visiting. I heard them saying you couldn’t have children.” She paused and hung her head again. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know if you can forgive me. I don’t blame you if you can’t.” She gazed into his eyes. “But I love you just as much now as I did back then. Maybe more. And we can either adopt kinner or the Lord will provide if it’s meant to be. I just know that I want to be with you.” She held her breath. “If you’ll still have me.”

  Saul’s expression was blank, and a tear slipped down Rosemary’s cheek. I’ve lost him.

  “Let me make sure I understand,” Saul said. “You broke up with me because you thought I couldn’t have children?”

  She nodded as another tear slipped down her cheek. “I’m sorry.” Saul leaned over, hands on his knees, and started laughing.

  “I’m really not sure whether to laugh or cry.” He straightened and pulled himself together. “Rosemary, as far as I know, I’m quite capable of having kinner. You overheard mei mamm and mei aunt Naomi talking about Saul Bender, a cousin. He was in a bad accident back then, and his injuries left him unable to have children.”

  Rosemary stopped breathing. “What?” Her mouth hung low for several moments as she let this news soak in. “Do you mean that we wasted—I wasted—five years?” Her chest hurt. “It was bad enough that I left you because of it, but for it to not even be true?”

  Saul didn’t say anything, just shook his head.

  Rosemary was sure that this was the most bittersweet moment of her life. And was Saul going to walk away from her?

  “Why didn’t you just ask me?” He reached his hand out to her, but she backed away as she was swallowed up by regret.

  “I don’t know.” She buried her face in her hands and started to sob. “I’m an awful person. We could have been together all this time.”

  Saul pulled her close to him and held her tight for a while before he eased her away and kissed her on the forehead, then on the cheek, then his lips met hers. “If anything had happened any differently, we might not be together now. It was God’s plan for things to work out this way.”

  “How can you say that? Aren’t you angry? At me? At God?”

  “Rosie . . .” He reached for her hand and walked her to the shade of an oak tree in the front yard. They sat on the grass, and Saul brushed back a strand of her hair that had fallen forward. “If we had gotten together back then, how do you think your daed and bruders would have done on their own after your mother’s death? Maybe your father would have been so busy raising the three boys, he might not have noticed the spark between him and Katherine. My sweet Rosie. Everything happens on the Lord’s time frame. Not ours.” He pulled her close and kissed her tears. “We can’t have regrets. We are exactly where we are today because of every event that has led us here. I just want to be with you. I love you, and I always have.”

  Rosemary buried her head in his chest, then looked into his eyes. “I love you, too, and I always have.”

  Saul grinned. “And I don’t know of any reason why we can’t fill a house with lots of kinner.”

  Saul was right. Carrying the burdens of the past would only weigh them down. As she sat up and watched her father and Katherine walking toward them hand in hand, Rosemary knew that they were exactly where God meant them to be.

  DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

  1. Rosemary ends her relationship with Saul because she believes he can’t have children. Have you known couples in this situation? If so, was it a deal-breaker?

  2. Years later, Rosemary changes her mind and knows that she wants Saul as her husband, even if that means they will never have children. Do you think that Rosemary changes her mind, in part, because she is older and more mature? Or has enough time gone by that she realizes she won’t find anyone she loves as much as Saul?

  3. Several scenes in the story are filled with large doses of miscommunication, and things could have turned out very differently had all truths been on the table. But, as mentioned in the story, things happen on God’s time frame, and by the end, all the characters are where they are meant to be. Are there instances in your life when you met resistance, only to have things play out much better than you could have imagined?

  4. In a lot of ways, Rosemary and Katherine are alike. Can you name some of the characteristics they unknowingly share?

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  TO MY HUSBAND, PATRICK, AND MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS—thank you for your continued support on this amazing journey. And as always—God gets the glory for laying these stories on my heart.

  Many thanks to everyone at HarperCollins Christian Publishing. I’m a lucky gal to work with such a fabulous group of people, and I’m blessed to be able to call you all friends.

  To my agent—Natasha Kern—a huge thank you for your career guidance and friendship. You are just a supercool person!

  It’s an honor to dedicate Rooted in Love to Jenni Cutbirth, a woman whom I admire. She’s someone who has more strength than she ever thought possible—a necessary trait when you find out that your two-year-old daughter has cancer. For a year, I watched Jenni go back and forth to the hospital, sometimes staying for days at a time for her daughter’s chemotherapy and radiation. A year. I was exhausted just hearing about her routine, and I jokingly appointed myself “President of the Jenni Fan Club.” But all joking aside, my dear Jenni . . . you are amazing. And Raelyn is a blessed little girl to have you as her mommy. May God always shower you and Raelyn with His blessings.

  A LOVE FOR IRMA ROSE

  DEDICATION

  To Larry Knopick

  PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH GLOSSARY

  ab im kopp—off in the head; crazy

  ach—oh

  daed—dad

  danki—thank you

  Englisch—non-Amish person

  fraa�
��wife

  gut—good

  haus—house

  kapp—prayer covering or cap

  kinner—children

  maedel—girl

  mamm—mom

  mammi—grandmother

  mei—my

  mudder—mother

  nee—no

  Ordnung—the written and unwritten rules of the Amish; the understood behavior by which the Amish are expected to live, passed down from generation to generation. Most Amish know the rules by heart.

  rumschpringe—running-around period when a teenager turns sixteen years old

  sohn—son

  wunderbaar—wonderful

  Wie bischt—How are you?; Howdy

  ya—yes

  Jonas glanced around the small cemetery, sprigs of brown poking through the melting clumps of snow. Sunshine beamed across the meadow in delicate rays, as if God were slowly cleaning up after one season, in preparation for the next. Soon it would be spring, Irma Rose’s favorite time of year, when new foliage mirrored hope for plentiful harvests, when colorful blooms represented life, filled with colorful variations of our wonderment as humans.

  “I love you, Irma Rose. I’ve loved you since the first day I saw you, sittin’ under that old oak tree at your folks’ house, readin’ a book. You musta been only thirteen at the time, but I knew I’d marry you someday.”

  —FROM PLAIN PROMISE, BOOK THREE IN THE DAUGHTERS OF THE PROMISE SERIES

  Chapter One

  1957, FIFTY-THREE YEARS EARLIER

  JONAS CLUTCHED THE REINS WITH SWEATY HANDS, HIS FINGERS twitching as he waited for Amos Hostetler to blow the whistle, signaling the start of the race. He glanced to his right and scanned the crowd, at least fifteen onlookers—including Irma Rose Kauffman. This buggy race down Blackhorse Road was more than a friendly competition. More than just a group of Amish kids enjoying their rumschpringe on a Saturday afternoon.