An Amish Year

by Beth Wiseman

  Eli swallowed his sip of coffee and put the cup on the table. “No one can ever replace your mother.”

  Grace put her palm up for a couple of seconds, then laid both hands on the table as she sat taller. “I know that now. And I want to let you know that it’s okay with me for you to find someone to spend your life with.” She smiled. “I won’t always be living here anyway. And I think Ben really needs a mother figure. He’s still at a tender age.”

  Eli was watching his daughter grow up before his eyes, and it was lovely and terrifying at the same time.

  “I’m sorry I won’t be going with you to Ruth’s on Saturday. I briefly met her kinner at worship service, but it would have been nice to get to know them better.”

  Eli had been praying that Gracie would feel this way, but hearing her talk in such a mature manner about a subject so close to their hearts was giving him a lump in his throat. He knew good and well that he didn’t need his daughter’s permission to remarry, but he’d always wanted hers and Ben’s blessing. He nodded. “I’m sure there will be other opportunities to spend time with Ruth and her family.”

  Gracie got up, walked around the table, and kissed Eli on the cheek. “I’m sure there will be.” Then she left Eli sitting at the table, knowing that God was giving his family a second chance at happiness.

  He couldn’t wait to spend some time with Ruth. Saturday wasn’t going to get here soon enough.

  Chapter Nine

  “YOU LOOK VERY NICE,” GRACE TOLD HER FATHER THE following Saturday, before turning to Ben. “And you clean up pretty gut too.”

  Her father slipped on his jacket and his Sunday black hat. “I hope you and Wayne enjoy the pizza.” Frowning, he said, “Don’t be late.”

  Grace wasn’t sure who’d been looking forward to Saturday more—her or her father. “I won’t.”

  Once they were gone, Grace ran upstairs and found her lip balm. Since seeing a different side of Wayne, she felt sure he’d be better about respecting her boundaries. But kissing was on her “okay” list. She ran downstairs, pleased to see Wayne out the window, right on time.

  Wayne was all worked up about some chores his father wanted him to do later in the afternoon, so he talked about that most of the way to the restaurant. Grace felt warm inside despite the cool temperature.

  At the pizzeria, Wayne chose the booth in the far corner, and they shared a pepperoni pizza and each had a soda.

  “Danki again for talking to Ben. I had no idea that your mudder had passed. How long ago?”

  “When I was little, about four. I don’t even think about it anymore.” Wayne took a drink, then reached for the last slice of pizza.

  “I still miss mei mamm all the time.” Grace pictured her mother looking down from heaven and seeing her with the cutest boy in their community, out on a real date.

  “You ready?” Wayne wiped his mouth. “I’ve gotta get going so I have time to do all that stupid extra work for my daed.”

  “Ya, sure.” Grace stood up when Wayne did and glanced at the clock on the wall. She was going to get home way before she’d expected. Maybe she would surprise her father and walk to Ruth’s house since it wasn’t too far.

  They were about halfway home when Wayne turned off the main highway. It took Grace a few seconds before she recognized where he was heading. “I-I thought you needed to get home?”

  Wayne looked her way. “I do. But now that we’re back together, I thought we could spend some time by ourselves.”

  Grace swallowed hard. She didn’t want to make Wayne mad, but she didn’t want to lead him on either. “Wayne . . .”

  He glanced her way again. “Ya?”

  “I-I just need you to respect my boundaries.”

  Wayne chuckled. “That sounds very Englisch, the way you said that.”

  Grace felt her cheeks turning red as she grinned. “Ya, I guess it does.” But at least she’d said it before any kissing started. That way, Wayne wouldn’t have expectations.

  Eli glanced at the empty chair at Ruth’s table for eight, wishing Gracie were here, but hoping she was having a good time with Wayne. Ben was quiet. Ruth’s only boy, Stephen, was only six, and the girls—Carolyn, Eve, and Mary—chatted among themselves at one end of the table. Eli cleaned his plate and laid his fork across it. It hadn’t been a bad meal, although he had thought about Elizabeth’s mashed potatoes. And he would have seasoned the roast more than Ruth had. But all in all, things were going well. Ruth’s kinner were polite and well behaved.

  “Eli, are you ready for dessert?” Ruth pointed to the stove. “Shoofly pie.”

  “I am,” Stephen said. “And I ate all my roast,” he added, sitting up taller.

  “Let’s serve our guests first.” Ruth stood up to get the pie, then brought it to the table, along with a stack of small plates.

  “Danki for a wonderful meal, Ruth.” Eli allowed himself to envision the seven of them—eight with Gracie—as a family. He knew it was way too soon to be having such thoughts, but he loved the idea of having a large family. He and Leah had wanted more children, but it just never happened after Ben came. Eli and Ruth hadn’t discussed whether or not either of them wanted more children.

  When Ruth’s three daughters finished their pie, they asked to be excused, leaving Ben and Stephen. Eli’s son was starting to fidget, and he was glad when Ruth’s oldest daughter, Mary, asked if he’d like to go with them to the barn to see a calf that had been born two days ago.

  “Don’t you want to go with the other kinner, Stephen?” Ruth began to clear the table, and when Eli stood up and picked up a plate, she said, “Nee, nee. You sit. Let me do this.”

  Eli sat back down across from Stephen, who was shaking his head. “I would like another piece of pie, please.”

  Ruth walked to the pie plate. “Just a small piece, Stephen.” She looked over her shoulder. “What about you, Eli? Another slice of pie?”

  Eli put a hand across his stomach. “I don’t think I can eat one more bite. It was all very gut.”

  “So, Stephen,” Eli said to the boy, “is this your first or second year of school?”

  “He’s six, so this is his second year,” Ruth said as Stephen took another bite of pie.

  Grace had been out of school for almost two years, but he could still remember her first day at the one-room schoolhouse back home like it was yesterday. Ben’s first day was just as memorable.

  “What is your favorite thing to study?” Eli said to Stephen as Ruth scurried around the kitchen.

  “Anything but my numbers,” Stephen said with a mouthful. “Mamm says I’m stupid when it comes to my numbers.”

  “Stephen!” Ruth spun around and walked toward him, her face as red as the beets still in a bowl on the table. “I didn’t say stupid.” She looked at Eli and smiled. “He has a hard time with math; it’s not his favorite subject.”

  “I hate math, so that makes me stupid.” Stephen shrugged, and for a few tense moments, everyone was quiet. Eli could tell that Stephen’s behavior was embarrassing Ruth as her face turned even redder.

  “I disliked math as a young scholar too,” Eli finally said. “But it’s important to know. You’ll use your numbers in many ways for the rest of your life.”

  Ruth cleared her throat. “Stephen, don’t you want to go join the other kinner and check on the new calf?”

  “Nee.” The boy eyed his empty plate. “I would like another piece of pie, please.”

  “No more pie, sweetheart.” Ruth turned to Eli. “Coffee, Eli?”

  “I would like one more piece of pie, please,” Stephen repeated as he slammed his fork down on the plate
. Eli stifled a grin. He remembered this age with both of his children, a time for testing the boundaries.

  “If you eat another piece of pie, you might turn into a pie,” Eli said, winking at Stephen. He glanced at Ruth, but she wasn’t smiling.

  “No pie, Stephen. Now, do not ask me again.” Ruth cleared the beets and a bowl of chowchow from the table as Stephen slouched down in his chair until he was barely still in it.

  “But I ate all my dinner, and my second piece of pie was small. I want another one.” He eased his way back up the chair. “You’re mean,” he grumbled under his breath, but after a quick glance toward Ruth, Eli knew she’d heard.

  “Eli, can you excuse Stephen and me for a minute?” Eli nodded, and Ruth walked to Stephen’s side, then pointed to the doorway in between the living room and kitchen. “March,” she said to her son.

  Stephen slowly stood up, and before he even hit the threshold, Ruth grabbed his shirt and pulled him along at her side. He’d tell her when she got back not to be embarrassed. Kinner, especially at that age, could make a parent want to pull their hair out at times. And they always seemed to put on the best show in front of visitors.

  After a few moments, Eli decided to find the bathroom, then maybe he’d go have a look at the new calf. He’d seen plenty, but he mostly wanted to see how Ben was interacting with the girls.

  He turned down a long hallway, thinking maybe the bathroom was at the end, like at his house. But when he heard muffled voices, then what sounded like a slap followed by crying, he stopped in his tracks.

  “Stop crying.”

  It was Ruth talking to Stephen, but she spoke to the boy in a deep whisper, almost like it wasn’t even her. Eli knew better than to eavesdrop, but his feet were rooted to the floor as Stephen’s sobs got quieter.

  “I told you that you would be in trouble if you didn’t act right in front of Mamm’s friend, didn’t I? You stay in this room and don’t come out. If I hear one peep out of you, I will give you much more to cry about.”

  The door flew open, and Ruth ran right into Eli. She brought a hand to her chest as her jaw dropped. “Eli?”

  “I-I was looking for the bathroom.”

  Miriam eased the pile of clean clothes over to make room for Kiki, who had joined her on the couch. She opened her book and settled back into the love story she was reading, hoping Landon would ask Mary Beth to marry him in this chapter. Ever since she was a teenager, she’d chosen to read Christian fiction because those books always had happy endings.

  She jumped when she heard a ruckus on the front porch, then hurried to the front door when someone started knocking.

  “I forgot my sweater,” Grace said, breathless, gulping in air.

  Miriam pushed the screen door open. “Ya, you left it here.” She closed the door behind Grace and took note of her red, swollen eyes. “Did you run here?”

  “Ya.” Grace pushed back several strands of hair that had fallen from her kapp.

  Miriam walked to the couch and dug around the clean clothes until she found Grace’s black sweater and handed it to her.

  “Danki.” Grace slipped it on and didn’t seem to notice the orange cat hair that clung to it. She waited for Grace to do or say something, but the girl just stood in the middle of the room.

  “Um, do you want to stay for a while? Need a glass of water?”

  Grace was still catching her breath when she nodded, so Miriam left her in the middle of the living room and brought her back a glass of water, deciding that she wasn’t going to find out if Landon proposed to Mary Beth today.

  Grace chugged the water and handed the glass back to Miriam, but the girl still didn’t move.

  Miriam put the glass on the table. “Grace, what’s wrong?”

  Grace didn’t say anything for a few seconds, then she tearfully recounted the time she’d spent with Wayne.

  Miriam’s blood was boiling. “He did what?”

  “I can’t say, I can’t say.” Grace ran into Miriam’s arms, and Miriam held her tightly as she also started to get teary eyed. This was so similar to her own experience when she was Grace’s age, the day that changed everything for Miriam. She eased Grace away and cupped her cheeks with her hands. “First, are you okay physically? Did Wayne force himself on you?”

  “I’m okay, and nee, he didn’t force me to do anything. But when I wouldn’t do what he wanted, he got really mad and said ugly things to me.”

  Relief washed over Miriam as flashbacks of her and Luke filled her mind. Luke hadn’t forced Miriam to do anything either. Miriam had made that decision on her own, and now she lived with the consequences. She was thankful that Grace had the courage to walk away—or run, as it appeared.

  “He told me he could have any girl he wanted, girls that were prettier than me. Like Rachel. He said he’d been pursuing Rachel before I came to town, but had put her on hold for me.” She sniffled. “And that if I didn’t grow up, I was never going to have a boyfriend here.”

  “That’s all rubbish. Boys can be jerks.” Miriam guided Grace to the couch, hoping Rachel wouldn’t fall for Wayne’s charm. Rachel wasn’t the sweetest girl in the community, but Miriam didn’t want to see any of them get hurt. “And if Wayne was trying to get you to do something you’re not comfortable with, then you did the right thing, no matter how much he says he cares about you, and no matter what kind of ugly things he might have said.”

  “If he liked me so much, he shouldn’t even ask me to go further than kissing,” Grace said between sobs. “And then he was so mean about it and didn’t talk to me all the way home. Mei daed is at Ruth’s haus, and I couldn’t have talked to him about this anyway. I don’t have any girlfriends here, and I’m just so mad at myself for believing that he really liked me when all he really wanted was . . .” She covered her face with her hands.

  Miriam sat down, put an arm around her, and let Grace bury her face in her shoulder. “I’m glad you came here, Grace.” She kissed the top of Grace’s head, knowing she was going to have a little chat with Wayne.

  Chapter Ten

  ELI SAT ALONE ON HIS COUCH. HE COULD HEAR BEN upstairs tinkering, probably digging in his closet looking for a book his mother had given him. The subject had come up on the way home, and Ben was frustrated that he didn’t know where the book was.

  Sighing, Eli was wondering if this move was a good idea. Miriam had left a message on Eli’s phone saying she would bring Grace home in a little while. When Eli had asked if his daughter was okay, Miriam told him that she was fine. But Miriam said she needed to talk to Eli, which caused Eli’s stomach to sour.

  He recalled the abrupt way he and Ben had left Ruth’s house. Children needed discipline, and Eli was all for that, but his and Ruth’s way to reprimand their kinner wasn’t the same. On the ride home, he’d asked Ben if he had a good time, but his son had only shrugged and said it was okay. Eli wasn’t sure he could afford to move again, and a month really wasn’t long enough to give Lancaster County a chance.

  Gracie walked into the house, and Eli stood and went to her. “Gracie?” Her cheeks were red, eyes swollen. “What happened?”

  “Daed, I don’t want to talk. Can I please be excused?”

  Miriam walked in behind Gracie and nodded to Eli. Eli told Gracie that was fine. Once she was upstairs, he motioned for Miriam to sit down. Eli sat down beside her on the couch. “What happened?”

  Miriam’s cheeks were flushed, and her eyes were a bit swollen as well, which caused Eli’s stomach to roil even more.

  “Eli, I don’t have any kinner,” she said softly. “And I would never try to tell you how to raise your children. But I would strongly suggest that you not allow Grace to spend any
more time with Wayne.”

  Eli’s hair prickled against the back of his neck. “Did that boy hurt Gracie?”

  “Not physically.” Miriam kept her eyes down as she spoke. “But he’s . . . pressuring her to do things that aren’t right, things that would cause her regret later on, things that aren’t right in God’s eyes.”

  Eli started to tremble as anger boiled to the surface. Amos had told him Wayne was a good lad from a good family. He wanted to grab that boy by the shirt collar and throw him to the ground, an unfamiliar emotion that went against everything Eli believed.

  “Wayne isn’t a terrible person,” Miriam said. “But he isn’t respectful of the boundaries that girls set for him. I’ve seen this with other girls. And I know about boys that age.” She lifted her eyes to Eli’s. “I care about Grace, and I just thought you should know. I’m planning to have a talk with Wayne. It probably won’t do any gut, but I’m tired of watching him pursue these young girls like an animal on the hunt.”

  “Nee, you don’t need to do that. I will take care of him.”

  A hint of a smile crossed Miriam’s face. “I thought you might say that, and maybe Wayne would heed a man more than me.”

  Eli stared at Miriam for a few moments. Too long, apparently, since her face took on a pinkish glow as she pulled her eyes from his. “Danki for bringing Grace home,” he said.

  Miriam looked up at him again. “Sometimes young girls are so smitten with a cute boy that they eventually give in, believing that the boy loves them and they will be together forever. But that isn’t always the case. And sometimes the girl isn’t strong enough to walk away and she does something that leaves her feeling unworthy for the rest of her life, undeserving of a husband.” Miriam paused as she looked away from Eli, blinking her eyes a few times. “And it’s those choices that we make as young girls that we have to live with.”

  Eli was quiet, knowing they were no longer talking about Grace. “But God forgives our sins the moment we ask Him to,” he said softly, moving his head to search her eyes, but she wouldn’t look at him. “Many times, the challenge is to forgive ourselves.”