by Heart, Skye
Forty-five minutes later, I was finally home, and still wrestled with the idea of calling Nena again. There were just so many unknown factors regarding our relationship. After dropping my keys and wallet on the counter, and grabbed a beer from the fridge. Then I went out onto my patio, and rested against the railing, staring down at the parked cars below. Maybe Nena had reconciled with Tony, which could be the reason, she has not returned any of my calls. The very thought of him touching her again made me jealous, because deep down, I truly believed that I could love Nena, better than Tony ever would. Tony was not the man for her. I was. I just hoped that it was not too late to prove that to her. Feeling a chill, I went back inside, and closed the sliding glass door. Judging by that cool breeze, I just felt, Fall was definitely in the air. Absent-mindedly, I picked up the cordless phone, and dialed the first three digits of Nena’s number, but then hit the END button.
“When you’re ready Nena, you know where to find me.” I said to myself, and headed for the shower.
~TONY~
I leaned against the railings, facing the water, as the ship pulled away from the pier. I had my cell in hand, wanting to call Nena, but could not bring myself to do so. A lot has changed between us, and I was not sure what would become of our marriage. I knew I did not want to end it, but I was not sure we could make it work, after everything that has happened. In spite of it all, I still loved her. If only I could be sure, that she wanted me, and only me. Even though she never admitted it, I knew that she harbored some feelings for Chris. If that were the case, then she and I had no future. How could I ever make her happy, if she was in love with someone else? Up until now, I never pictured my life without her. Whenever I thought about having kids and a future, she was always in the center of it all. This was the woman that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, but now, I was not so sure.
“Hey. You okay?” I heard someone say. I turned to find Alana standing next to me. Then, I looked back out towards the sea, and continued with my abstraction.
“I don’t know.” I answered candidly.
“Want to talk about it? I can be a very good listener.” She responded, seemingly with genuine concern. I took in a deep breath, letting out my frustrations.
“You probably wouldn’t be interested.” I said, looking at the waves, crashing against the side of the ship.
“Try me.” She replied, leaning against the railing, as I was. Then, I looked at her and smiled. There was something oddly familiar about her. Even so, her newfound innocence amused me. It was as if the sexy, stiletto vixen, I encountered in Italy, never existed. Then, I smiled again, and she blushed.
“What?” She asked innocently.
“Nothing,” I replied, still smiling at her.
“Really?” She asked, not convinced. “Then why are you looking at me like that?” She finished.
“Because…” I started to say.
“Because what?” She interjected.
“Because your personality changes with the tides. One minute, you are practically undressing me with your eyes, and the next, you are like the girl next door. So, tell me Moore, which one is the real you?” I asked, putting emphasis on her last name. She looked away embarrassed. “Well?” I pressed. Then, she sighed before answering.
“Okay. What you see here, what you see now, this is the real me.” She admitted.
“Then what was all that before? Who the hell was that, your alter ego?” I asked, chuckling. She laughed as well.
“Oh, please don’t remind me. I’m already humiliated enough as it is.” She said, covering her face with her hand.
“All right, my bad. But seriously though, what was all that about? And why the sudden change of heart? Did I suddenly become undesirable?” I asked, trying to ease her humiliation. Then, she moved her hand from her face, and I stared at her for a moment, and wondered why she seemed so familiar to me. A girl that pretty, I certainly would have remembered.
“No,” she began, “I still find you very much attractive.”
“Do you now?” I flirted.
“Don’t get a big head. I am just keeping it real, even though you made it very clear that you are off limits. Your wife is a lucky woman. I just hope she knows what she’s got.” The mention of Nena, touched a nerve within me, and my smile faded.
“Did I say something wrong?” Alana then asked, noticing the change.
“No, you’re all right. So what’s up? Are you going to tell me why you pulled a ‘Carrie’ on me?” I asked smiling again, needing a change of subject. She smiled too.
“To tell you the truth,” she started to say, before turning to look out at the sea again. Her demeanor went from playful to serious, so I refrained from telling jokes, and got serious too. “I’m usually not like that. For once, I wanted to be the one to go after a guy, instead of being chased all the time.” She explained.
“So, I was just an experiment?” I asked her.
“Oh no, nothing like that,” she said, and then glanced at me before continuing. “Like I said, I really do find you attractive. At first, I never intended for it to go any further, than a one night stand, no thanks to you of course.” She said jokingly. I smiled at her humor. “Then,” she continued, “When you left me butt-ass naked, all by myself in that hotel room, I realized that you weren’t the type of man that I thought you were. So, I figured I’d get to know you a little better, and show you the real me.” She explained.
“Thanks. I guess.” I replied, at her veiled insult, of my character. “So, this here now, is just you trying to…” I started to say, pausing to let her tell me.
“Be your friend.” She finished.
“Right,” I replied, with a bit of sarcasm.
“What? You don’t believe me?” She asked me.
“Now, you know you want some more of this.” I joked, flexing my muscles.
“Oh please.” She said, rolling her eyes, but she peeked; they all do. Then, I stopped playing, and looked at her again. She was very pretty. Still, I could not shake the feeling that I have seen her before, but I could not figure out from where. When she noticed me staring, she averted her eyes, and looked back out towards the sea. We were far away from land now, and would be out there for three whole weeks. “Okay, I told you a little something about me, so now it’s your turn.” She finally said, breaking the silence.
“What do you want to know?” I asked her.
“Tell me what’s on your mind. What’s bothering you?” She asked, looking me in the eye. I could tell she wanted me to trust her. Therefore, I stared back at her, unsure if I could. However, there was something about the way she looked at me, with those discerning hazel eyes of hers, that made me feel comfortable with her.
“Well, right now, my wife and I are separated, so to speak.” I began. Alana was surprised, no doubt.
“Why? What happened?” She asked, her interest peaking.
“It’s too complicated for me to get into right now. We’re going through a lot of problems, and I don’t know if I want to keep putting myself through it.” I divulged.
“Oh. I see. Well, you obviously really love her, so why not try to work it out? Whatever it is.” She suggested.
“It’s not that simple.” I said.
“Then tell me. Why isn’t it that simple?” She asked me.
“She slept with my best friend.”
~ALANA~
I gasped at Tony’s admission.
“Oh wow! I’m sorry.” I said, thinking about Chris’ conniving, scheming ass.
“Yeah, me too.” Tony replied. It was obvious how much pain he was in, because of it. I could not help, but feel partly responsible, for what he was going through. I knew that Chris evidently had a thing for Nena, but I never expected him to succeed in his mission to win her over. I also knew a good man when I saw one, and Tony was that man. I could not imagine what woman in her right mind, would do that to a man, who would show as much restraint to the sexual advances of another woman, the way he did with me.
Tony clearly loved Nena, more than she even realized, or else she would not have done such a thing.
“How’d you find out?” I asked, wanting to gather as much information as I could.
“That’s the thing. I didn’t. She told me.” He replied.
“Well, that was nice of her.” I said ironically. I did not understand how Nena could let a snake like Chris; ruin her marriage, to a man like Tony. From where I was standing, Chris was nothing, compared to Tony.
“She wants us to work it out, but I don’t know. I mean, how can she expect me to be with her, knowing that she has feelings for someone else?” Tony continued. “It’s bad enough that he was my friend, and it was my fault for ever trusting that son of a bitch, but she couldn’t even look me in the eye, when I asked her if she had feelings for him.” I could not believe my ears! This situation was getting more complicated by the minute. I had no idea that Chris was involved with Nena on such a level. Therefore, it was not just a physical, sexual thing with him, but emotional. No wonder Chris got defensive when I said her name. If you asked me, that bastard’s so-called love for Nena, bordered more along the lines of obsession. Now, I had a better understanding of the role I played, in this whole love triangle, that I allowed myself to get involved in. I now shook my head disgusted, at how clever Chris was, to be playing them both, without their knowledge. His sadistic ass truly needed help. For Nena’s sake, I sure hope that she comes to her senses soon, and realize the type of person Chris really was. The icy look he gave me, when I had threatened him, sent chills up my spine. Although I was careful, not to let Chris see that he intimidated me, I could not help but wonder how far he would be willing to go, to get what he wanted.
“Look, I’m going to go lay down for a while. Thanks for listening. It was nice talking to the real you.” Tony said, giving me another smile.
“Sure, no problem. Thanks for sharing. I know that could not have been easy. I want you to know that you can trust me, okay?” I reassured him.
“Thanks. I appreciate it. See you later.” Tony replied. After he left, I remained on the flight deck, thinking to myself. I hated the way I let Chris manipulate me into his sick plan to make Nena fall for him. From the sound of it, it seems like she already has. Now, I sighed, and shook my head. Poor Nena, she had no idea what type of creep she let crawl into her bed. As for Tony, I thought again. He looked so hurt, that I could not help but empathize with him. He really loved his wife. I knew all too well, what it feels like to have your heart broken, by someone you thought loved you. I recognized the look on Tony’s face, as my own, when I had caught my ex, my high school sweetheart, cheating on me all those years ago. I understood Tony’s pain, and wished there was something I could do, to make it go away. Unexpectedly, I was starting to develop some feelings for him. I felt so comfortable talking to him, and I loved his personality, as well as his humor. Now, I was beginning to regret the way we met, which was based on a lie. How could we ever have a normal relationship, if things were to get that far between us?
“Okay Alana, don’t get ahead of yourself.” I whispered to myself. “He’s married. All you can be to him right now is a friend.” Still, deep down inside, I wanted more…
23
~NAIMA~
“Are you okay?” Starr asked when she walked into my office. I groaned, and rested my head in my hands.
“No. I have a really bad headache.” I told her.
“Ouch. Did you take anything for it?” She asked me, taking a seat in front of my desk.
“No. I don’t like swallowing pills. Besides, it’ll probably come back up anyway.” I replied, rubbing my temple. The throbbing pain was starting to turn my stomach.
“What do you mean?” Starr asked me.
“I haven’t been able to keep anything down lately. I’ve been so stressed with work and everything, that I haven’t given myself time to slow down, and catch a breath.” I explained.
“Why don’t you take a day off?” Starr suggested, and I laughed.
“If only it were that easy.” I said rolling my eyes. “With the holiday’s right around the corner, as Marketing Manager, I have to make sure that our sales sharply increase. Right now, I am working on new advertisements for our winter line, and it is proving to be a bit challenging. To make matters worse, Christina, the head of our R & D Department, quit this morning, with no notice. With Barb gone for the holidays, she left me in charge of finding a replacement, and basically running the company.” I explained feeling even more overwhelmed. “And Starr, I am so exhausted.” I finished, and then sat back in my seat, resting my head against the cushioned leather chair.
“Wow. You have a lot on your plate.” Starr said, eyeing the mountains of paperwork sitting on my desk.
“Yeah, but I can’t complain now if I want to go for that C.O.O. position. I have to prove to Barb that I can handle the amount of work thrown at me, if I want to be this company’s Chief Operating Officer.” I said.
“Have you already submitted your resume for that position?” Starr asked me. I smiled getting excited.
“Yes I did. I am so nervous, but everybody around here is saying that I do not have to be, because they all think I would be perfect for the job. Lord knows I deserve it.” I said, glancing at the plaques of achievement on my wall.
“You sure do. I am so proud of you Nai. I’m sure you’ll get it.” Starr said with an encouraging smile. Dressed in a fitted chocolate brown, pinstriped pantsuit that accentuated my curves, I got up from behind my desk. Then, I went over to the floor-to-ceiling window, of my office, and peered down at the traffic below.
“Thanks. I’ve worked really hard, to get to where I am now, so cross your fingers for me, okay?” I said hopeful.
“Both my fingers, and my toes, are crossed for you, chica.” Starr replied smiling. I smiled back, and went back to where Starr was sitting, and took a seat at the edge of my desk. Starr’s outfit was excessively revealing for work.
“Anyway, I’m surprised you’re here. It’s only 4:30. Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” I asked Starr.
“Girl, I’m the Human Resources Manager. I can come and go whenever I please.” She said, boasting about her newly acquired position, at the corporate headquarters of a family owed Public Relations company. I laughed, and shook my head at her.
“I’m surprised they even gave you that position, with as many times as you called in sick, to get your hair done.” I said, and we both laughed.
“Yeah girl, I was just as surprised myself. But it helps when you’re sleeping with the CEO.” She said sounding very proud of herself for it. Again, we both roared in laugher. I shook my head again, and wiped a tear from my eye, still giggling.
“I still can’t believe you’re sleeping with your boss. Girl, I would stay away from that, because nothing good comes from office romances. It’s usually a disaster waiting to happen.” I warned.
“Yeah, I feel you chica, but hey, ‘you gotta use what you got, to get what you want.’” Starr replied with her Puerto Rican accent, imitating the words from the movie ‘The Player’s Club.’
“Well then girl, more power to you! Men have been using us for years anyway; it’s about time for some payback.” I said, snapping my fingers.
“Okay!” Starr gave me a high five, and we both started laughing again.
“All right,” Starr started to say, getting the rest of the giggles out of her system. “On a more serious note, other than the mountain of work you have to do, how are you doing?” She asked.
“I’m doing all right.” I replied truthfully.
“Yeah? Have you spoken to Nena since we got back?” She asked me. I stood up, and walked back around my desk, then sat in my chair, and crossed my hands.
“No, I haven’t.” I said, and Starr just nodded. “I told her I needed some time away from her to you know, clear my head and all.” I elaborated.
“Yeah. I understand.” Starr said with another nod.
“We never really talked about what
happened, Starr, and I don’t think I’m ready to go there just yet anyway. Just thinking about it makes me angry all over again. I still cannot believe that she did that to me. I mean, she knew how much I loved Chris, so it boggles my mind to think of how she could do such a thing, you know?” Every time I thought about what my sister did, I wanted to hate her.
“Yeah, I feel you, chica. Just take the time you need, to come to terms with what happened, so you can be able to forgive Nena, and move on. Holding on to that pain, and staying angry, is not going to change the fact that it happened. Wherefore, in order to find some closure in all this, I think you and Nena need to sit down, and have a long talk. To be quite honest with you, and as twisted as what she did was, I do not believe that Nena meant to hurt you. Don’t let the pain that you are feeling over this, consume you.” Starr reasoned. I smiled blinking back tears. Although I was not sure if I could ever forgive Nena for what she did, I could not let it take over my life either.
“You’re right, Starr. I know that in order for me to get past this, she and I, have to eventually talk about it.” I agreed. Then, suddenly, I felt queasy.