The Science of Loving

by Candace Vianna

  “Hey Carla, long time.” I felt his eyes on me then he bumped me. “What, not talking to me this morning? I’m gonna start thinking you don’t like me.”

  “Good Morning Mathew”

  “Mathew, huh.”

  “Mat.”

  “It’s all good, Angelina. You can call me anything you like, just so long as you call.” He stretched an arm over the backrest, casually trapping me against the wall while his other hand toyed with my phone. I’d forgotten he’d taken it. He wore battered jeans well and his wife-beater left his tanned arms gloriously bare except for the inked sleeves swimming up over his shoulders. He smiled lethally when he caught me peeking up at him. There should be a law against smiles like his this early. “I thought you might want this back.” He set the phone on the table in front of me, his hand closing over mine when I went to picked it up.

  “So tell me, my brother, what were you doing with her phone?”

  “Ensuring I’d got a second date,” he said, brushing a light kiss across my knuckles before releasing me.

  “Right on.” She reached out to bump fists only to leave him hanging. “When will you ever learn.”

  “You guys ready to order?” The waitress might’ve been addressing all of us, but she only had eyes for Mat. Not that I blamed her, I’d have been staring too if I thought he wouldn’t notice.

  “Yeah, I’ll have a hot cup of quit-eye-fucking-my-brother. Please.” Danny did not just say that.

  Mat rested his elbows on the table and buried his face in his hands, shaking with suppressed laughter. “I can’t take you anywhere.”

  The waitress blinked at Danny. “What?”

  “Yes, I’ll have a cup of coffee and a chocolate chip cookie,” she said saccharinely.

  “Diet Coke?” Carla choked out.

  “Just coffee please,” I muttered.

  “What was that hon?” The waitress asked, her eyes never making it past Mat’s arms.

  Mat lifted his face from his hands. “She’ll have a coffee. We both will. And a piece of chocolate pie with two forks.”

  “Oh, my God. Mat, does that happen often?” Carla laughed as the waitress scurried off.

  “Welcome to my hell.”

  “Yeah, it must be rough, being one of the beautiful people.”

  Mat smiled, flipping her off as he lounged next to me, his thumb absently stroking my shoulder, sending goosebumps skittering down my arm.

  I pulled my arm from behind Angie when the waitress brought our pie and coffee. Her zippered top gaped open as she leaned in more than necessary with Angie’s coffee, ensuring I got an eyeful of cleavage and Carla was dying by the time she left. Ignoring her choked snickers, I nudged the pie closer to Angie, handing her a fork. “Eat up, sweetness.” I sipped my black coffee watching Angie pour a healthy dose of cream and… one… two… three… four… sugars into hers. My girl likes it sweet.

  “So, like, when are you gonna let Carla pierce your cock.” I spewed coffee all over the table as Danny grinned evilly.

  “So like, never.” I reached to get a handful of napkins from the dispenser and frowned; there was only one left. I glanced at the pile of torn paper shoved against the wall then at Angie staring guiltily at her cup before reaching out, snagging the full dispenser from the table next to us. “My cock, pierced or otherwise, is another forbidden subject on that list we discussed earlier… Christ.” I said mopping up the table.

  Angie was making these odd little snorting sounds as she spoke through the hands covering her mouth. “Oh my God, Mat, I’m so sorry… I’m truly mortified on your behalf… Truly. But I was just thinking… you know… like a Letterman bit… ten words a guy never wants to hear his sister say… ‘So when are you gonna let Carla pierce your cock.’” She dissolved into gales of laughter. “Oh, God, I can’t breathe… Of all the random stuff that comes out of Danny’s mouth, never in my wildest imaginings would I have ever expected that.”

  The joyful noise coming from Angie had me smiling. This was the first time I’d heard her well, and truly laugh. And laugh—okay, it’s not that funny. Shit, who am I kidding; it’s fucking hilarious—I played it cool though, as Angie’s laughter wound down to little giggles and breathy gasps; pausing the cup at my lips to see if Danny had any other smart-ass remarks to deliver. I froze when she took a breath. She just smirked. Brat.

  As Angie peeked up at me between dainty bites of pie and sips of coffee, I slipped my hand under the table. She tensed clearing her throat when I squeezed her thigh. She slid a bit of pie in her mouth as her blush totally disarmed me. Her eyes closed and I smiled, sipping coffee while nonchalantly scraping my nails along the inseam of her jeans—that’s right sweetness; I’m putting my hands on you. I’m gonna warm you right the hell up.

  “Oh, before I forget, Mom wanted me to remind you about camping this coming weekend.”

  “How could I forget? She’s sent me at least twenty emails.”

  “That’s because you never call her.”

  “The last time I called her, they’d just returned from that retreat they took for their anniversary… Now, I know a disturbing amount about Tantric sex practices.”

  “Transcendent, I believe was the word she used.” Danny grinned.

  My palm crept further up, my fingers stroking her inner thigh, my pinky occasionally grazing her crotch. Oops. Her breath hitched, and I struggled not to grin as she squirmed. If she clutched that cup any tighter, the handle was going to snap.

  “Yeah, yuck it up, chica. There’s not enough therapy in the world to get those images out of my brain.” I grumbled.

  “Are your Chakras out of whack? Perhaps you should get a colonic.”

  “Yeah, I got your colonic.” Angie clenched her legs together and lucky me, my hand ended up trapped between them.

  “Where does your family normally go camping?” Angie sounded panicked, but in a good way. I let Danny answer. I couldn’t open my mouth right now and not laugh.

  “Green Valley usually. It’s in the Cuyamaca National Forest. Hey, you should come with us.” I could kiss Danny right now.

  “Yeah Ange,” I gently clenched my hand, looking down at her. “I’d love for you to come.”

  She had roses in her cheeks as she looked up at me with slightly parted lips. She dropped her hand onto mine, gripping it firmly to stop my petting. “I really don’t want to impose.” I grinned and kissed the top of her head, but didn't let go.

  “You won’t be imposing. You can save me from my mother’s well intentioned, but grossly… emphasis on gross, intrusive lectures of a highly inappropriate nature.”

  “I really can’t. I don’t have any gear or a tent.”

  “No worries, I’ll take care of you.” I squeezed again.

  “You’re coming and I won’t take no for an answer.” Danny to the rescue—this was why I put up with her shit.

  Once Danny and I ganged up on her, she never stood a chance, and the desperation in her eyes told me she knew she'd lost. Taking pity on her, I slid my hand from between her legs and laced our fingers together.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  A Camping We Will Go

  The morning had flown. The phone had been ringing off the hook, and I’d just ticked off the last item on my to-do list. I was ready for an early weekend. The prospect of spending uninterrupted time with Mat made me both giddy—What if he wanted to continue what he’d started under the table—and somewhat fearful—oh my God, what if he wanted to continue what he’d started under the table?

  Rushing to sneak out before any new chores could present themselves, I almost dropped my phone, frantically swiping it as I juggled my briefcase and keys. “Good morning Dear.”

  Shit. I should’ve checked the caller I.D. “Hey Mom, now’s not a good time; you just caught me leaving.” I hadn’t spoken to her since that night and I'd been walking on eggs all week. No one got away with speaking to my mom the way Mat had, not without payback. She’d make a phone call and next thing you knew, your grants had be
en pulled, thought you were up for tenure? Not any more.

  “That’s all right. I just called to see if we could get together this afternoon.”

  “I’m sorry Mom, I can’t.”

  “Oh, a hot date?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Not with that horrible man you brought to the mixer?”

  “Yes, actually.”

  “Angelina, why are you wasting your time with someone like that? He’s not your type.”

  “I have a type? I don’t go on enough dates to have a type.”

  “That’s my point darling, you’re too naive. You need someone that fits in, has connections, not some tattooed bad boy who draws a crowd wherever he goes. In fact, I was quite taken aback when you brought him to the mixer.”

  I hit the panic bar on the stairwell door and shifted the phone to my other ear. “I like him. He’s interesting, and I’m friends with his sister so it’s not like I can ignore him.” I didn't think it was possible to ignore him.

  “Just be careful, I know his type. They don’t do polite, they don’t want smart and nice, they want variety, lots of variety: The hotter and wilder, the better.”

  “Look Mom, I really appreciate your concern. I do. But I’m already running late and I can’t drive and talk on the phone. I’ll call you later, okay?”

  “Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you when he dumps you for the first easy piece of ass that comes along, and the way he looks, I’m sure it comes along everywhere he goes,” she snarled before ending the call. Her warning twisted like poison in the back of my mind. What if she’s right? Of course she was right, she was always right. Women, beautiful women, throw themselves at him everywhere he goes. Heck, the mere mention of his name caused feminine salivation. Shit, I should never have agreed to go camping. This could only end badly.

  I chewed the inside of my cheek, stewing in my car, trying to decide what to do. I thought about calling Daddy, but what if Mom answered? At least for now, I knew she wasn’t planning to go all evil Queen on my Snow White. I could do a quick drive by on my way home. There was a good chance she’d be out since she normally reserved Friday mornings for nails and hair so she’d look good for the weekend.

  Yes. Mom’s car wasn’t in the drive. I parked, making a beeline for Daddy’s man cave, aka the garage, and walked into the comforting scents of grease, orange oil and paint. Daddy was sitting on an old sofa he refused to part with, no matter how much Mom complained, reading a newspaper.

  He looked up when the door opened, a big grin split his face as he stood up, opening his arms wide. “There’s my baby. I’ve missed ya.”

  I couldn't help it. Tears started spilling down my cheeks at the sight of him, and his happiness changed to concern. “Oh Daddy, something horrible’s happened.”

  “Come, sit and tell your old man. You know there’s nothing I can’t fix.” His standard response to my troubles only made me cry harder. He was as predictable and constant as gravity, and I needed his comfort as much as I needed my next breath.

  “Do you think we could go somewhere else? I don’t want Mom to know I’m here. I don’t think I could handle her right now.” Daddy’s lips thinned and his eyes got flinty, but his voice was soft like always.

  “Don’t worry about your Mom. She’s been gone all week. Said she needed a few days at the spa. Now, tell me what she’s done.”

  Snuggling into his chest, I wiped my nose on his shirt. It’d always been like this between us. I couldn't count how many shirts I'd baptized with snot and tears in this garage. Daddy was my port in the storm, my safe haven. I’d tasted my first beer sitting on this sofa. I was fourteen and I’d just received a perfect score on my SATs. Daddy said we had to celebrate. I lost my virginity to a creep named Eddie Chapmen in this garage. Our moms were—I wouldn't call them friends, more like allies with a common agenda—and when Daddy came home, he helped me through my first broken heart.

  When my crying changed to shuddering hiccups, Daddy got up and grabbed a couple of beers, and a rag from the clean bin. After sitting back down, he held his arm open again so we could snuggle while I wiped my face. “I met a great guy.”

  “Now, I can see why you’re sobbing.”

  “Oh, Daddy.” I gave him a watery smile. “His name’s Mat. He’s beautiful and confident and successful. And for some unfathomable reason he wants to spend time with me. He took me to the alumni mixer last Saturday. He was a big hit. I didn’t realize it at the time, but apparently, he’s a big wind in the architectural world. Mom was there of course.” I drank some beer. Daddy didn't say anything. He just waited, letting me gather my thoughts. “Well, she did her normal thing where I’m concerned. My clothes, cars… You know how she can be.” Daddy nodded. “I guess Mat was offended, because he told her how wonderful I was then dismissed her.”

  “Ouch.”

  I nodded. “After the mixer, a bunch of us, my boss and his friends, went to this bar Mat likes. It’s really cool. They’ve got all these beers with funny names from all over the world… Mom showed up too.”

  He looked surprised. “There were too many to choose from, so, Mat offered to order for me. There was this beer on the menu called, Old Engine Oil Black Ale. I think he ordered it because he knew I liked working on cars. He ordered that and—oh wait, I need to back up for any of this to make sense.” He smiled patiently.

  “I met Mat the night before at his sister’s. I told you about her; she’s the tattoo artist. So the night before the mixer, Danny, that’s her name, had a party, and she mixed these drinks called blowjobs. They’re really good… sweet.” Although, Daddy raised his eyebrows, I could tell he was amused. “Well, when I mentioned the mixer, Mat sorta volunteered to be my date and Danny decided I needed a make-over and she made me beautiful.”

  “Baby, you’re always beautiful.”

  I took a cleansing breath ignoring his compliment. I knew Daddies had to say things like that or they’d go to hell. “So back to the bar—Mat ordered the Engine Oil Beer and a blowjob for me. He was just playing.” I felt my chest getting tight and tears started again. “And Mom… and Mom said, ‘red dresses and blowjobs, is there something you’re not telling me?’ Bob Tate was sitting right next to me.”

  Daddy seldom got angry, but right now he was livid. His face was red and I'd never seen his eyes so cold. “Please don’t be mad, Daddy,” I whispered.

  “Oh honey, I’m not angry with you. But your mother has gone too far this time.”

  “That’s what Bob said. I guess Mat thought so too. Because he told her off and made her leave.”

  “You know, I think I’m going to really like this Mat.” He might feel differently, if he knew Mat liked feeling me up in public.

  “Mom hates him. What am I going to do?”

  “About what?”

  “Mom… Mat.”

  “Let me worry about your mom.” He brushed the tears from my cheeks. “Only you can decide if this Mat fella is right for you.”

  After packing methodically—anally according to Danny, the queen of chaos—arranging everything in the back of the Lexis so I could easily load the girls’ stuff on top, I drove to Danny’s. Other than exchanging a few brief texts, I hadn’t heard from Angie all week and I hoped Danny could give me a heads-up.

  “Oh, God, my eyes are bleeding! Shit.” I’d walked in on Danny straddling her boy-toy du jour, Brett, sucking face. I turned around, hiding my eyes.

  “Serves you right. If you knock next time, your delicate sensibilities won’t be violated.”

  “I did knock, is it safe to turn around?”

  “Safe is a relative term. If by safe, you mean am I done orally exploring Brett’s facial orifice, get it? Or-i-face?” She snickered. “Then yes, it’s safe.”

  I turned around and glared at Brett, pretending I was pissed just to yank his chain—hey, big brother: It was my duty to fuck with Danny’s boyfriends, not only that, it was fun.

  “Hey Mat.” Brett was looking kinda green. It su
ited him.

  “Would you mind explaining yourself?” I growled, crossing my arms over my chest, flexing a little. Poor guy looked ready to bolt. He wasn't so bad really, so I let him off the hook. “I’m just fucking with you. How ya doing?”

  He relaxed. “God, you scared the shit out of me.”

  “Yeah, it’s a gift.”

  “I hate breaking up this bromance, it’s so touching.” Danny wiped a crocodile tear from her eye with her favorite finger. “But that gear won’t pack itself.”

  “So pack.”

  “Okay.” She bounced off.

  “What? No… Wait… Stop… Shit.” Although, most of the time I was easy going, there were certain things I was particular about. Organization was one of them, and Danny was chaos incarnate.

  I found her waiting next to my car. “Lucky for you, it’s locked”

  “Isn’t Brett coming?”

  “Naw, says Mom freaked him out last time. Something about g-spots and full body orgasms.” Danny grinned.

  “Yeah, that’d do it.” I grinned back.

  “Where’s your tent?”

  “Lent it out. Sharing with you Biggie.”

  “What? Uh-uh, no way. You and me, creepy but doable. Angie and me, hell yeah. You, me and Angie? Cock-blocking, hell no!”

  “You’ll get over it. No one’s ever died from blue balls. It’s common misconception, ask Mom.”

  “Enough with the gross anatomy.” I fitted the last of her gear in the back. “Do you want to say bye to Brett?”

  “No, but I can wait if you guys need a moment.”

  “You think you’re so funny.” I grabbed her in a headlock and dragged her around the car to the passenger door. She was still grinning when I climbed behind the wheel.

  “So have you heard from Angie?” I asked casually.

  “Yeah, I talked to her last night, she said her mom’s giving her the silent treatment and it’s freaking her out.”