The Science of Loving

by Candace Vianna

  “Jack and I spoke, and we agreed it would be best for you to telecommute until we know a little more about what’s going on.” Oh, good gravy.

  “Everyone’s over reacting. I’m fine, and I’m sure my attacker’s looking for easier prey.”

  “Still, you’re not to come into the lab for the time being.”

  “For how long? What if they never find him?”

  “We can always re-evaluate, but for now, I don’t want you anywhere near the campus. I mean it, Angie.” I was really getting sick and tired of everyone controlling my life.

  “Fine, but just so you know, this high handed approach you guys are taking, is really starting to piss me off.” I hung up in a huff, wanting to smack that unrepentant look off Mat’s face. He claimed he wanted me here every night and morning, let’s see how smug he was when I called his bluff. “Okay.”

  “Okay, what?”

  “I’ll move in with you.” The panic should hit anytime now… anytime now there will be panic… wow, this is the calmest panic I've ever seen.

  His face loomed larger. Then I was lost in a kiss that began slow, softly coaxing my lips apart before turning thorough. When he pulled away, I could only stare dumbly into his grinning grey eyes.

  “Great. We’ll grab some breakfast then get your stuff.”

  What? “No, I wasn’t serious. You’re supposed to panic and back down.”

  “Why would I do that?”

  “Because…” Now I was starting to panic.

  “I’m really not a panicky kind of guy, babe.”

  “But you don’t really want me to move in with you.”

  “Yeah, I really do.”

  “Why?”

  “Let’s see: You’re sweet, smart, beautiful, have that sexy alter ego, Nympho Girl and dig tools. Look at it this way, if you move in then I won’t have to keep swiping your things.”

  “But… but—” He silenced my sputtering by kissing me stupid.

  His muscles bunched as he lifted me onto the counter. I didn’t notice my boxers were gone until I felt cold stone against my bare skin. “Now, you know how cranky I get when my breakfast is late.”

  He kissed me again as he unbuttoned my shirt, brushing it off my shoulders. He had me completely befuddled. I could only gape when his arm snaked around my waist as his hand slid up my ribcage. He bowed me over his arm, my breasts served up as my shoulders rested on cold stone.

  “So beautiful,” he murmured, smoothing his hand down my torso. He latched onto my nipple and began suckling, probing with his tongue, pulling a moan from the back of my throat.

  He draped my legs over his shoulders, encircling my thighs with his arms. My hands scrabbled across the smooth granite when he parted my folds and blew.

  “Ow!” I banged my head on the counter when I relaxed back to relieve the strain on my neck.

  He chuckled, giving me a patronizing ‘Hush now,’ then dragged his flattened tongue over the entire length of my bared genitals; then did it again, and again. He brought me to the sharp edge of pleasure, and then held me there.

  “Mat…”

  “Yeah sweetness?” He breathed on me. Oh God, he was going to make me ask for it…

  “Please… I need more.”

  “I know you do, but first, there are a few things we need to get settled.” What the hell! “No more running away (lick) no listening to other peoples bullshit (lick) or letting them interfere (lick) And you are moving in with me.”

  My body wept. “This is coercion.”

  “No (lick) this is persuasion.”

  “Fine, I’m used to being frustrated.” I said, preparing to climb off the counter.

  “Uh uh, you’re not going anywhere,” he said darkly as his arms tightened, pinning my ass to the cold stone. He began teasing me with the tip of his tongue, circling where I needed it most. I could hear the grin in his voice. “Mmmmm… tasty, I can keep this up all day…”

  “Dammit, you’re not fighting fair.”

  “All’s fair babe. Just agree to move in and I’ll take good care of you. I’ll always take care of you.”

  I laid back, fighting tears of frustration. I was no match for his strength. “Okay, fine. You win; now let me go.” I was pissed off, turned on and confused, all at the same time, and I just wanted to crawl off until I had enough distance to think clearly. “I really hate you right now.”

  “No you don’t.” He closed his mouth over me, gently sucking and strumming rapidly with his tongue. When my body began to clench with pre-orgasmic spasms, he stopped—shit, what now—I all but wailed in frustration. “You on the pill sweetness?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Good,” he said, freeing his cock. “I want to fuck you bare… Okay?” Oh God…

  “You can fuck me standing on your head if you want. But either get on with it or let me go.”

  “Let you go? Oh sweetness, I’m never letting you go. Besides, how can I refuse when you ask so sweetly?” He laughed, jerking me off the counter, spinning, slamming my back against the refrigerator with my head cradled in his palm. “Hold on baby.” He hooked one forearm after the other under my knees, raising me higher. His eyes locked on my face. I gripped the back of his neck, expecting him to shove into me. Instead, he twisted his hips sinuously, penetrating me slowly. He captured my lips in a tender kiss when our pelvises met, his body straining as he pressed up, grinding into me. “God, I love you so much.” Oh my God. Then he hitched me up, bracing his hands further apart against the refrigerator’s door. My ass sank lower, and he began moving deep within me, driving anything I might have said from my mind.

  The refrigerator shuddered, bottles clanking in time with his grunts as he breathed hotly on my bruised neck, quickening his pace. His cock rammed deeply, his pubic hair rasping intimately with each churning thrust. Oh God… I clung to him, panting. My weight pinning me to his forearms, unable to escape. Gravity immobilized me as efficiently as zip ties and duct tape, forcing me to take every hard thrust without relief.

  Oh God, Oh God… A mantra began pounding in my brain as my body tightened, and my teeth found Mat’s shoulder, his skin, salty against my tongue.

  “That’s it sweetness, I want to feel you come.” I shuddered as he pistoned into me. Then he groaned, his cock pulsing as he came, grinding so hard against me the refrigerator rocked back, thumping into the wall.

  Finally he eased down, the refrigerator rocking forward with a fatal rattle, things crashing inside. He slipped from my body, wrapping a painted arm around my waist as I lowered my feet to the stone floor. I leaned into him, trusting he’d keep me from falling in boneless, battered heap. Tears began dampening my cheeks. I ached and there was a growing soreness between my legs.

  Mat’s chuckle rumbled under my cheek, his breath stirring my hair. “Nothing beats starting the day with a good breakfast.”

  Breathing deeply, I struggled to keep my knees from buckling as I loosened an arm to put away my bits—God, I loved this woman—I noted a growing wetness on my chest. “Angie? Baby? Are you all right?” I pulled back, looking down at her. She looked away. Shit, she was crying. Fuck, what was I thinking? She’s covered in bruises and I banged her against the refrigerator. “Baby, did I hurt you?”

  She shook her head as more silent tears course down her cheeks. She didn't fight when I scooped her up and carried her to the sofa, concern tying my stomach in knots. “Please baby, please tell me what’s wrong.” She was silent so long I was afraid she wouldn’t to answer.

  “I feel used. Manipulated.” Shit…

  “Baby, all I wanted was to make love you.”

  “That’s your idea of love? Holding me down, tormenting me until I agree to move in with you?” Fuck.

  “Shit, Angie… That was never my intent.” The look on her face had me rethinking my answer. “All right, I guess using sex to extract promises is a bit underhanded.”

  “That’s just it, you didn’t ask. You demanded. You didn’t listen when I told you to let me go, even
after I said I hated you, you just did whatever you wanted.”

  Horror took root in my gut. That sounded an awful lot like rape—what the fuck had I done? What the fuck was wrong with me? “But I thought you liked me in control,” I whispered.

  “I do… sometimes… but there’s a difference between me giving you control, and you just taking it. There’s too much shit going on in my life right now, I’m so confused and I needed a little distance to figure things out.”

  “Bullshit. You weren’t trying to get a little distance. You were dumping me because someone fed you a line of bullshit that scared you.” Holding a hand to her nose, she struggled out of my lap, darting to the bathroom—shit—she came out a few minutes later with a roll of toilette paper in her hand—at least, she wasn’t hiding. We’re making progress. “Angie, I’m sorry. I love you.” I paced, frustrated. “I just want you with me.”

  “You don’t know me well enough to love me. What happens when you realize how boring I really am? How many panicked calls from mall parking lots will it take before you’re pulling out your hair in frustration?” I stilled, raising an eyebrow. “Figuratively speaking.” She shrugged, grinning reluctantly.

  “Aw babe, you don’t think I have those same fears? You’re a bona fide genius for Christ’s sake. Talk about intimidating. What happens when you get tired of my stupid ass? Sometimes you just have to take a risk.”

  “Stupid, right, Mr. World Renown Architect.”

  “So I’m good at one thing…”

  “You have groupies. I know there’s nothing you can do about that, but one day,” she motioned between us, “this isn’t going to be enough. I’m not going to be enough. We’ll fight over something stupid and they’ll be waiting.”

  “And what?” I said, starting to get pissed-off. “You think so little of me?” That something stupid was staring me in the face right now.

  “I think so little of me.” There it was in a nutshell. She looked at me as fresh tears welled up, breaking my heart.

  “Well, you’re wrong. So wrong in fact, that until we get you sorted out, you gonna leave all the thinking to me.”

  She gave me a watery smile. “You’re going to sort me out?”

  “Yep.”

  “Paid professionals haven’t been able to sort me out. What makes you so special?”

  “You want a list?”

  “You really like your lists.” My chest loosened a bit seeing some humor return to her eyes.

  “You bet I do. Ready? You love me—” I paused, daring her to deny it. “My family, my bathroom, orgasms—any of your therapists give you orgasms?” She shook her head, rolling her eyes—oh yeah sweetness, I’ve got your therapy—I stalked toward her. “Starting now, you have to share something positive about yourself, and for each positive item, I will reward you with an orgasm.”

  “What if I can’t think of anything?” She retreated, nervously licking her lips.

  “Then I’ll give you an orgasm for every positive thing I can come up with. And you know how much I love making lists.” My phone went off just before I reached her.

  “Aren’t you going to get that?” She moved to the other side of the sofa.

  “Nope, they’ll call back if it’s important.” Circling, I began listing her positive qualities. “You’re sexy, funny, have great taste in underwear.” She squealed, turning away as I came over the sofa, grappling around her waist. “But sadly too slow.” I murmured in her ear.

  Motherfucker! I wanted to cry when the phone started ringing again. “It must be important…”

  “Shit. It’d better be.” I threaten stealing one more kiss. “Hello… Tom… Shit… Okay, I’m on my way.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Brawn vs Bitter

  The drive back from Mat’s was office grim. Anger flew off him in waves, his jaw popping as he ground his teeth. The preliminary reports from the forensic accounting firm weren’t good. Not only had Max paid Avery an outrageous salary, but apparently, Avery was racking up charges on a company credit card neither Mat, nor Tom were aware of. On the up side, although they’d probably never recover the small fortune Avery had already collected, his predictions of financial ruin were greatly exaggerated and due to his credit card activity, he now faced criminal fraud charges.

  I wanted to switch on the radio, anything to fill the angry silence, but I was afraid it might trigger an explosion. So I huddled on my side of the car clawing the skin off the back of my hand, a nervous habit I’d broken so long ago the scars were barely discernible. I froze as a large hand covered mine, stopping the damage. He let go after a gentle squeeze. Soon, too soon, his garage door rattled to a halt, trapping us in darkness. He unbuckled his seatbelt then flooded the cab with light when he opened his door. I scrambled to follow, only to have the latch handle yanked from my hands when the door swung open, Mat’s body blocking my escape.

  He eased me from the car, drawing me close, the car door shutting with a dull thunk behind me. “Breathe, sweetheart. We’re okay.” His hands warmed my back. I focused on the steady thump-thump of his heart marking time, my tension uncoiling with every thud. Unfortunately, my stomach ruined the moment, growling loudly then petering out into a thin, high-pitched whine. Crap.

  “Okay, I can take a hint.” He chuckled. “Let’s get some grub.”

  After a short stroll around the block, I was happily perched on a barstool enjoying my first creamy swallow of Guinness.

  “Mmmmm…” I savored the smoky, mildly bitter flavor. The first taste was always the best.

  “That good huh?” Humor twinkled in Mat’s eyes. I shrugged embarrassed, my cheeks burning as I sat between his thighs, our barstools so close, they kissed. He cocked a thick arm on the bar, his ink distracting me as he rested his head on a loose fist. He turned my face back to him with his other hand, and my eyes instinctively dropped to his mouth. His dangerous smile made me blush even harder and I darted a glance to his darkening eyes. “If you only knew the thoughts that run through my mind when you blush like that.”

  “Here ya go, fries and wings.” He leaned back as Shelly shoved red plastic baskets of food between us.

  “Eat up sweetheart. Then we’ll see about getting your stuff packed up.”

  “You’re serious. You really want me to move in with you.” A bottle of ketchup banged down making me jump, followed by a crumpled pile of napkins.

  “What the fuck, Shelly?” Mat glared at the bartender. Oh God, she was an ex-girlfriend. How many exes would I have to deal with?

  “Sorry, it slipped.” Shelly pointed a poisonous smile my direction before stomping off.

  “Ummm… Maybe…”

  “I know what you’re thinking, and the answer’s no.”

  “No, what?”

  “No, she’s not an Ex. I come in for a few beers and sometimes we talk. That’s all.”

  “Oh… Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  “Okay.” I nodded, taking a long drink.

  “Good.” He exhaled. “Try the wings, they’re great.”

  They were great. And when Shelly brought another Guinness, I force the image of her spitting in it from my mind. Dropping the last bone in the basket, I looked at my greasy fingers, dyed slightly orange, smelling of chicken and Tabasco. An Asian guy sitting at the end of the bar looked up when Mat caught me as I wobbled off the barstool trying not to touch anything. He stopped talking to the dark skinned man sitting next to him. His friend turned to look. A mixture of anger and pity crossed his face. I didn’t look up as I edged past them to get to the restroom, not breathing until the door swung firmly shut.

  I didn't know what they put on the wings, but it took three washings to rid myself of most of the smell. Looking in the mirror, I raked through my curls one last time, ignoring the small bruise on my chin. Last night’s shirt was beyond saving, so one of Mat’s soft flannels now hung to my knees, its open collar perfectly framing the choke marks that had deepened into a dark, aubergine necklace overnight—some su
per hero; I look like a ten-year-old skateboarding failure: They call me Crash-landing—there might have been a slight tinge of nervous hysteria in my giggle.

  I cracked open the door, hesitating on the threshold when the black guy looked up and nudged his friend. I started walking, keeping my eyes on Mat. I flinched away when a dark hand reached out to stop me.

  “Easy there, we’re not going to hurt you,” the man said quietly. “That guy you’re with, he do this to you?” Looking past them, I was relieved to see Mat already moving towards me.

  “What?” Then I realized he was asking about my injuries. “No, of course not.” They didn’t look convinced as bristled, getting to their feet.

  “Hey baby, everything all right?” Mat reached for me towering over them. Suddenly, I was caught in a circle of male aggression.

  “Everything’s fine.” I smoothed my hands over his chest, his muscles flexing under my fingers as I gently pushed, hoping he'd take a step back. “They were just worried because of—you know.” I motioned to my neck and face before turning back to my would-be heroes, backing into him. “I was attacked last night; now, everyone thinks I need a body guard.”

  “Hey, the guy’s still out there, and I have both your dad’s and your boss’s blessing, so suck it up little girl.”

  “I did okay.” I glared up at him, daring him to say otherwise.

  “Yeah, you did babe,” Mat said gently, kissing the top of my head. “You’re hella mean with a tire iron.”

  “Tire iron?” the Asian guy asked.

  “Yeah, my girl’s a badass.” Mat grinned, putting possessive arms around me. “She had a flat. Dude made the mistake of attacking her when she had a tire iron in her hand.” My cheeks warmed as the three men regard me. Oh, Good gravy. Stop looking at me.

  “Well, I hope they catch the fucker. I’m Darren,” the black guy said, returning to his stool. “And this here’s Tony.”

  “Sorry we misjudged you, man.” Tony offered his hand with an embarrassed smile. “I gotta say I’m relieved. You’re a big dude. When you stood up, I about pissed myself.”