“Why is that so? Why do humans function like that?” Sarah asked.
“It is an attempt to outsmart fate. Because if we truly admitted to ourselves that we are not guilty and inadequate but simply normal and vulnerable human beings with natural flaws and with only a limited amount of control, we would hardly be able to handle the fact that we are indeed unable to fight everything in life that could be harmful to us or could make us lonely.”
From Sarahʼs big eyes and the shaken expression on her face, Henry gathered that he had touched a raw nerve with his words, although he had been careful not to address Sarahʼs loss of her mother directly.
“All of this almost sounds to me as if my bad perception of myself does not necessarily stem from my aunt and uncle saying nasty things to me all day, but that it is rather because I have lived in the belief that I was bad right from the start.”
“Well, of course, your auntʼs and uncleʼs remarks do not really add to making you feel better,” Henry said. “But yes, it is true. What others say to us often mirrors what we believe about ourselves in the first place. If we put ourselves down, we will subconsciously draw people into our lives who make us feel miserable, because we believe that we do not deserve any better. It is the law of attraction. If you do not change your thoughts about yourself, and if you just keep rebelling against others, you make others rebel against you again and hence make the overall situation even worse. It is a vicious cycle. The others around you might be unpleasant and unfair, but at the end of the day it is also about you fighting with yourself.”
Sarah frowned. Henry worried that she could have misunderstood his words, which had only passed his lips with the best of intentions. But she remained calm, thinking hard about what he had told her.
“So if I have only attracted negativity so far, how can it be that such a gentle and sweet man like you has come into my life, telling me all these flatteries and even writing a song for me?” she suddenly asked after having been lost in contemplation for a moment.
“I donʼt know.”
“I think I know the answer,” Sarah whispered, putting her hand on Henryʼs cheek, stroking it gently. “I suppose God must have heard my prayer that I sent to him a little while ago.”
“What did you pray for?” Henry asked.
“I just asked him for a little luck and happiness. And just one week later you appear at our doorstep. It is quite strange, considering that I truly believed that God had deserted me ever since my mother died…”
“God never deserts us, Sarah. He keeps sending us miracles when we least expect it.”
“My miracle is happening right now,” Sarah breathed.
“Trust me, you are a miracle to me, too…” Henry bent down and kissed her gently, relishing the warmth of her sweet lips.
They clung to each other and kissed each other so passionately that Henry completely ignored the fact that there was a major risk of being detected by someone of the staff. He only found back to reality when Sarah slowly freed herself from his grasp.
“I know a place where we can be a little bit more at ease,” she said, her eyes twinkling.
Henry grinned at her.
“I do recall you having said something like that before. And from experience, I know by now that it is always a good idea to follow you then.”
“So let us go then, you will not regret it…”
Henry followed Sarah out of the library, and together they crossed the entrance hall in an unsuspicious tutor-and-student manner, when suddenly Thelma, Heather and Ada were coming up from the kitchen downstairs, fully equipped with water buckets and cloths.
“Just in case you are looking for us: You will find us on the upper floors cleaning the windows, as the honorable Lady has assigned us to do,” Thelma muttered. She was unmistakably angry. After all, it was the so far hottest day of the year, and now she was supposed to wipe the twenty-five windows in the top floors again because Lady Partridge had not deemed them clean enough after the last wipe the maids had given them.
“Alright, Thelma. Miss Partridge and I will take a little walk in the garden,” Henry said matter-of-factly, noticing to his amusement that he had become just as good at lying as Sarah.
“Great! Some exercise will surely do her good and will keep her from thinking up new tricks,” Thelma scoffed, then she and the girls went upstairs while Henry quickly ushered Sarah towards the door.
Having arrived outside, Sarah suddenly grabbed Henry by the sleeve and pulled him back.
“I am afraid, we can not go now. Jeremy might see us,” she whispered, looking over to the stables where Jeremy was busy chopping wood.
“You go ahead, and I will follow you a little bit later,” Henry suggested.
But Sarah just vigorously shook her head.
“It is too dangerous, Henry.”
“Where is this place you want to take me anyway?” Henry asked.
“It is over there, hidden behind the hedges.” Sarah pointed her finger across the lawn and over to the far end of the garden. “But believe me, if Jeremy sees us going there, it will be as clear as a day to him that... that we are in love...”
Highly curious to find out what kind of place Sarah had in mind for them to pass the following hours, Henry racked his brain in search of a flash of inspiration. The latter wasnʼt long in coming.
“I will distract him. And when he is not looking, you will quickly cross the garden and run over to the hedges. I will be with you in no time.”
Sarah wrinkled her brow and only hesitantly agreed to Henryʼs plan, worried that it might fail. But then she did as he had told her and hid behind the door while Henry made his way over to the stable boy.
Jeremy quickly glanced at Henry from the side when he saw him approaching, but other than that he ignored him and continued doing his work.
Henry cleared his throat to get the boyʼs attention.
“Please excuse my interrupting, but did you happen to see Miss Sarah anywhere?” he asked politely and looked around, pretending to search the area.
Jeremy grabbed another piece of wood and positioned it on top of the wood block before smashing it with the axe.
“No,” he said. The tone of his voice was aloof and cautious.
“Miss Sarah and I intended to go for a walk in the garden. But she tricked me and ran away,” Henry said to keep the conversation going for another while. “I wonder where she is…”
“Well, she is not here anyway,” Jeremy answered, finally looking at Henry. And as the boy's back was facing the mansion, he didnʼt notice that in this very moment Sarah sprinted at breakneck speed from the mansion door across the garden and over to the hedges. Henry, who was watching her secretly, worried that her feet might get caught in her long skirt and that she would tumble. But she arrived safely and unnoticed.
Henry helplessly shrugged his shoulders and let out a long sigh, pretending to be frustrated.
“Well, just in case you see her, please be so kind to tell her I was looking for her.”
Jeremy sneered.
“I will, although this would be the first time ever that she comes running when someone is looking for her.”
For a moment, Henry quietly looked at Jeremy. It had never been his intention to do anything else but distract the boy. But now that he was there, he found that he might as well try to bury that hatchet that Jeremy so obviously had dug out.
“You do not like me very much, do you?” Henry asked warily.
Taken aback by Henryʼs straightforward question, Jeremy stopped his work, put down his axe and spat on the ground, an eerie and calculating look in his eyes.
Henry found that the boyʼs reaction to his question pretty much served as an answer, but then Jeremy suddenly began to speak.
“Have I given you any reason to believe this?” he asked frostily.
“Not really, it is just a general sensation which I believe to have in your presence; a sensation that is telling me that you would rather see me dead,” Henry said, forc
ing a smile.
Jeremy gave a mocking laugh. “Killing you is not worth going to prison.”
Henry frowned and nodded quietly, something which Jeremy did not notice as he had already grabbed his axe again and continued with his work, ignoring Henry.
Having other more pleasant and alluring things on his mind, Henry decided to quickly try and forget about the dissatisfying talk with the stable boy. Still, he was somewhat angry at himself because of his good naturedness and because he had been so stupid to believe that he could be friends with Jeremy. Not that this wish had not been fueled by some ulterior motive; the motive to at least not be enemies with Jeremy. After all, Damian had already taken over this part. And Henry found that one of his kind was more than enough.
Once out of Jeremyʼs sight, Henry arrived at the hedges where he had seen Sarah disappear. There he discovered a tiny path which led a little bit further away from the mansion and towards a part of the garden which he had never set foot in before. Here everything was overgrown with lilac and rose bushes, and there was a sundial and a little pool with goldfish in it. Henry heard some frogs croak and cicadas chirp and found that the place was quite peaceful.
And romantic.
“Henry...” he suddenly heard Sarahʼs voice, “I am here...”
He beamed at her when he saw her stepping out from behind the lilac bushes. And as soon as her little fingers wrapped around his, he had completely forgotten about Jeremy. All that reminded of the stable boy were the distant thuds of his axe as it landed on the pieces of wood. But even this sound was gradually fading into the background as Henryʼs senses began to fully focus on Sarah, on the wondrous smile that blossomed on her face, on the dazzling fragrance that emerged from her.
Sarah quickly dragged him behind the lilac bushes where she had hidden shortly before. Henry noticed with surprise that behind the bushes there was a small pavilion with ivy and roses twining around it. And inside the pavilion, there was a narrow bench, leaving just enough space for two people to sit on.
Sarah entered the pavilion, sat down on the bench and patted with the palm of her hand on the seat next to her, inviting Henry to equally sit down.
She didnʼt need to tell him twice. He was hardly sitting when Sarah already flung her arms around him. He embraced her happily and kissed her favorite spot on the neck again, which immediately made her sigh.
“Kiss me, Henry… Kiss me more…” she breathed.
And he kissed her more, buried his hands in her hair, pressed her ribcage to his body, felt her heartbeat, heard her moan; and very slowly he threatened to drown in her dazzling vanilla scent and in the sensation of her succulent lips and believed that he was about to die the sweetest death he could imagine.
Eventually, he noticed her hand slowly slip off his shoulder, glide over the length of his arm and down to his thigh where it remained rested. Visions of her naked body moving against his appeared in front of his mindʼs eye, and hundreds of butterflies were beginning to dance with wild abandon in his stomach.
“Sarah… Sarah…” Henry croaked breathlessly, “I must urge you to stop if you do not want me to go too far…”
Sarah momentarily paused to look at him, pensively, consideringly. Then, a mysterious smile creeping over her lips, she took his hand and placed it on her bosom. His heart began to race excitedly in his chest. His pulse threatened to leap up to the skies.
Then Henry bent to kiss her, and soon he succumbed entirely to her sweetness and to his fantasies, which were becoming more and more sinful with every moment of their togetherness.
They spent almost two hours in the pavilion, entwined, their lips locked, their minds blank, but their hearts filled with almost uncontrollable desire for each other.
Suddenly, they heard laughter coming from afar.
Startled, Sarah freed herself from Henryʼs embrace.
“I think weʼd better go,” she said.
Dreamily, Henry watched Sarah as she got up, checked her hair, and smoothed her dress. Then he reluctantly rose from his seat on the bench, and together they left the pavilion. They followed the path along the rows of rose bushes and when they arrived at the hedges, they secretly peered over to the mansion to see what was going on.
Ada and Thelma were standing in the yard at the pump, laughing merrily as they were squirting water into Jeremyʼs face. The stable boy in turn tried to grab them by the sleeves of their dresses, which caused the maids to shriek and run around in a circle like startled geese in their endeavor to escape him.
“When the catʼs away the mice come out to play...” Henry mumbled with a smirk, wondering why Jeremy wasnʼt content with wooing Ada and Heather. After all, they were nice girls. But he guessed that everybody just wanted Sarah. It was like a curse.
Then he saw Thelma coming out of the house, carrying a huge basket.
“Come on, lasses, give me a hand!” she called.
Immediately, Ada and Heather stopped in the middle of tickling Jeremy to death, rushed over to Thelma and took the basket, which appeared to be quite heavy. Then they all, including Jeremy, crossed the garden, opened the gate which led outside, and followed the path leading away from the mansion.
“The coast is clear,” Sarah whispered when Thelma and the others were finally out of sight.
Henryʼs stomach suddenly began to rumble, which made Sarah chuckle.
“I am starving, too,” she said. “It must be around midday. Let us go and get some food.”
Henry and Sarah left their little hiding place and hurried over to the house. Having arrived there, they went downstairs to the kitchen where Sarah sat on the table, picked some grapes from a bowl of fruit, and began to shove them into her mouth, one after another. Apart from the grapes and some bottles of lemonade standing on the sideboard, the kitchen looked pretty devoid of anything to eat. Everything was tidy and clean, and all leftovers from the day before had been fed to the animals.
“Would you like a grape?” Sarah asked Henry. With a grin, he opened his mouth and let Sarah feed him. Whenever she offered him a grape, he tried to bite her finger. It made her recoil quickly and then laugh out loud, before she made another attempt to stick the fruit into his mouth without leaving him any chance to snap at her.
Suddenly, they heard the front door bang upstairs. Then there was the sound of footsteps on the staircase leading down to the kitchen.
Sarah froze in the middle of shoving yet another grape into Henryʼs mouth. A terror-stricken expression on her face, she hopped off the table.
“Calm down, Sarah, we have not done anything wrong. We were just hungry,” Henry whispered, trying to appease her. Deep inside, though, he felt quite tense and immediately moved a little bit away from Sarah to demonstrate a polite distance between them.
The next moment, the door opened and Thelma stood in the frame. She let out a little shriek of surprise upon seeing Henry and Sarah as she had not expected anyone loitering in her kitchen.
Henry and Sarah put up their most innocent smiles.
“We do apologize for intruding in your kitchen and giving you a fright. We were just looking for a tiny bit to eat,” Henry explained.
Thelma pulled a grumpy, suspicious face.
“So, you found her after all,” she grumbled. Henry guessed that Jeremy had, of course, spilt the news to her that he had been looking for Sarah.
"I did indeed,” Henry answered, sounding all casual. “She had not been too far at all. It was in fact some kind of… how can I put it… misunderstanding.”
“A misunderstanding...? Well, then...” Thelma scoffed. She walked over to the sideboard and grabbed the bottles of lemonade.
“Forgot them beverages,” she muttered, stuck the bottles in her basket and added, “We are having a picnic down at the lake. If you want something to eat, you can join us if you want. There should be enough sandwiches and apples for an extra pair of hungry stomachs.”
Sarah pulled a face behind Thelmaʼs back. Henry guessed that she wanted the sandwiches but
obviously not the company of the others. She wanted to be with him only. He could see it in her longing eyes.
But Henry had other plans.
“I actually think this is a marvelous idea!” he said cheerfully. “A little merry gathering will do us good, donʼt you think, Miss Sarah?”
Henry threw a secretive glance at the girl, trying to tell her that he found it better if they joined Thelma; simply for the sake of making the others believe that he and Sarah had no interest in spending the whole time together. Henry hoped that this would scatter the assumption that they were connected by more than just school books.
Henry & Sarah Page 20