Sarah didnʼt appear amused but obviously saw his point and nodded at him, a sullen look on her face. Henry guessed that she too knew that they would still have enough time to be together afterwards. And apart from that, Henry had to admit to himself that he welcomed a little break because he dreaded that otherwise he would be in high danger of entirely losing his mind.
And the weekend had only just begun.
Chapter 9 – Lust
The mood at the lake was boisterous. Heather and Ada were squealing with delight as they jumped off the jetty and into the warm water where Jeremy was already awaiting them with a roguish grin on his face. When the girls landed next to him in the water, he began to tease them by tickling them and pulling at their hair. As soon as Henry and Sarah arrived, however, he stopped abruptly, climbed out of the water and put on his shirt in order not to embarrass Sarah with the sight of his naked torso. He took his time in getting dressed, and Henry could not rid himself of the feeling that the stable boy wanted to boast a little bit about his admittedly muscular and sun-tanned body.
When Heather and Ada saw Henry and Sarah approaching, they stopped fooling around and instead stiffened slightly. Henry gathered that the maids were afraid that Sarah, being the ʻdaughterʼ of the Partridges, could possibly tell her ʻparentsʼ that the staff had behaved in a rather undisciplined manner. Henry also gathered that Lady Partridge would have had a fit if she had known that the servants were enjoying themselves at the lake although she had assigned them to clean the windows. But Thelma had said that they would continue with it in the evening hours instead of wasting the sunny afternoon with work.
But apart from that, Henry did not rule it out that the girls wanted to appear more grown-up and not so foolish because he was around. For quite a while, he had already sensed that Ada and Heather somehow fancied him. The shy smiles that they cast him whenever he entered the kitchen gave them away, as did the girlish giggling that he heard when he left again; and it clearly wasnʼt a mocking laughter but the kind of laughter which was typical for young girls who developed their first crushes on men and felt unsure about themselves. They werenʼt that uncertain when Jeremy was around, though. Henry guessed that the maids perceived the stable boy rather as a mate and a fellow sufferer in terms of their status as servants, and not as an object of their desires.
As much as the others tried to pull themselves together in Sarahʼs presence, it appeared that Sarah herself wasnʼt interested in anyone at all. A slightly arrogant expression on her face, she quietly sat down on a tree trunk, picked a daisy and kept playing with it until she had all petals pulled out. Only Henry knew that deep inside she was simply insecure because she was aware that she had nothing in common with the others and didnʼt know what to say them.
“Help yourself, there is enough for everyone,” Thelma said and began to unpack the basket which she had brought. She spread out a tablecloth on the ground and neatly decorated it with fruit, sandwiches and drinks, and soon they were all happily munching on their food.
A serene silence filled the air. Just the humming of bumblebees could be heard and the excited twittering of warblers as they were taking care of their little ones, hidden in their nests in the reed which lined the lakeside.
Henry found that it was better not to sit directly next to Sarah in order to feign his disinterest in her. The moment he sat down on the grass a little bit further away from her, Jeremy stepped out of the shadow of a willow tree where he had been lurking expectantly, then the boy ambled over to Sarah, picked a little flower on the way, and shot Henry a sardonic smile. When he stood in front of Sarah, she looked up at him, shielding her eyes against the sunlight.
“Thatʼs for you, young Lady,” Jeremy said and handed her the flower, a mysterious tone to his voice.
Warily, Henry was watching him from the corner of his eye. He found Jeremyʼs approach rather impudent; pathetic even. He wondered what was going on in the boyʼs mind and what he attempted to achieve. Did Jeremy really believe now that there was no love between Henry and Sarah, with the result that he saw his own chance of winning the girl over looming on the horizon? Or was it the other way round; namely, that he still did not believe that Henry and Sarah were merely tutor and student, and that he wanted to provoke Henry in order to find out the truth?
To Henryʼs utter delight, Sarah didnʼt appear very impressed. On the contrary, she seemed to feel rather uncomfortable. She nodded politely and forced a smile, but then she turned her face away from Jeremy and pretended to watch some ducks which were eagerly snapping at the crumbs of toast which Ada and Heather were throwing over to them. Henry hoped that Jeremy would be wise enough to take Sarahʼs indifference as a sign that she wished he would leave her in peace. After all, it wasnʼt appropriate at all that a boy of his standing talked so openly to a girl of Sarahʼs status. Normally servants only ever spoke to their superiors when the latter asked them something.
But it was obvious that Jeremy didnʼt care about status and ranks. Suddenly, he sat down next to Sarah in the grass and began to shamelessly eye her up and down. Sarah shot Henry a secretive and helpless glance, and although Henry would have gladly jumped up and slap the boyʼs face, he doubted that it would be for his own and Sarahʼs good if he interfered. He was now positive that Jeremyʼs whole undertaking was at least partially a test in order to find out how Henry would react; to find out if he really was in love with Sarah.
Henry knew he had to be most careful now not to reveal his emotions. Trying to look as bored and indifferent as possible, he pulled out a blade of grass and began to chew on it. Deep inside, however, he was boiling with anger and cursed the fact that his and Sarahʼs affair was a secret. He knew that if it had been official and accepted, he would have walked straight over to Jeremy and started off a fight. But instead he just sat there and, from the corner of his eye, morosely watched Sarah who became ever more uncomfortable in Jeremyʼs presence.
After a while, Jeremy finally gave up on Sarah. He didnʼt appear all too frustrated at the fact that the girl had rejected him. When he got up and walked back to his place in the shadow of the willow tree, he glanced at Henry triumphantly as if he had indeed succeeded in wooing Sarah. Henry tried to ignore him just as he tried to ignore the pain in his chest—the pain of jealousy; although there was no real reason for it. Still, it annoyed him that he felt it, because he knew that was exactly what Jeremy had intended.
Henry and Sarah spent about an hour with the others at the lake. After having finished their sandwiches, Heather and Ada lay down on the grass and enjoyed the sun while Jeremy was seeking refreshment by letting his feet dangle over the edge of the jetty. Every now and then, however, he risked a glance at Sarah, a secretive and hungry smile on his lips.
At some stage Sarah got up from her provisory seat on the tree trunk, and Henry could gather from her looks that she was desperate to leave.
“Mr. Abbott, I would appreciate it if you accompanied me back to the mansion now,” she said firmly. “It is getting rather hot.”
“Certainly, Miss Partridge.” Henry immediately jumped to his feet and rushed over to her. He too was glad to get away as the gnats had begun to pester him. Apart from that, Jeremyʼs presence annoyed him.
When they finally left, the stable boy boldly winked at Sarah, but she just nodded imperceptibly and then quickly turned her face away.
“Why did you not come to my aid?” she asked Henry with mild reproach in her voice when they were walking along the pathway leading back to the house.
“To demonstrate in front of everyone that I am hopelessly besotted with you?” Henry answered.
A wide smile spread on Sarahʼs lips. Henry found that she looked so endearing and utterly sweet in her dress that it was no wonder that Jeremy fancied her. To him she had to appear like an angel with a halo, like some creature from another sphere which was way out of his reach.
Henry felt inclined to take her by the hand or kiss her, but he didnʼt dare to touch her now. It wasnʼt safe as long as
they werenʼt far away enough from the lake. It simply had to wait until they were back home.
Having arrived there, Henry slammed the door behind them, quickly pulled Sarah close to him and kissed her fervently. It gave him a tremendous thrill to know that really nobody else was there right now and that they were truly alone. He knew, of course, that they still had to be careful as any moment one of the girls could return from the lake. But given the splendid weather outside and the fact that Thelma and her maids had been occupied with the windows all morning and surely longed for a break, it didnʼt look as if this blissful state of having Sarah all to himself would change shortly.
“Henry...” Sarah gasped in between his kisses, gently pushing him away from her. “Donʼt you think that this would be a good occasion to show you the rest of the house?”
Henry raised his head and looked at her, puzzled and unable to figure out what on earth made her believe that he could be interested in a sightseeing tour through the house. After all, the only thing he desperately wanted right now was to be close to her.
“Well, you hardly get anything else to see than the kitchen, the library, the classroom, and the dining room as long as Priscilla and Horatio are around,” Sarah went on.
“I actually think that this is more than enough…”
Henry tried to kiss her again, but she backed away.
“Well, there is so much more to discover,” she rattled on. “This would be the perfect chance for you because on other days you are barely allowed to go anywhere.”
Sarahʼs demeanor highly confused and frustrated Henry. Wondering if he had come on too strong again, he let go of her, not wanting to deny her her wish which seemed to be really important to her.
“Well then, show me the house...” he said, trying to sound enthusiastic.
Happily, Sarah took his hand, and so he followed her as she led him up the stairs and past the floor where his own room and the classroom lay, and up to the floor where her room and the private rooms of the Partridges lay.
“Here are the bedrooms for our guests,” Sarah said, waving her hand in the direction of the other doors lining the corridor.
“Great,” Henry said, feigning interest. In reality, this piece of information only made him feel miserable when he realized that in one of those guestrooms Damian tended to sleep on his visits—on the same floor as Sarah.
Henry expected Sarah to show him the interior of the guestrooms, but she didnʼt. Instead, she led him up the next and final flight of stairs. These stairs werenʼt of marble like the others but of simple wood and ended in front of a small unscheinbare door.
Sarah hesitated for a moment. She cast Henry an uncertain glance, then she carefully turned the key and the door opened with a creaking sound.
To Henryʼs utter surprise, he found himself in the attic. It wasnʼt the kind of attic that he had expected, though. There were no cobwebs in the corners, no mice playing hide and seek. This here was a vast, bright, and very tidy room with several small windows in the roof that let plenty of sunshine in. Henry found that it was a pleasant place and not as cold and uninviting as the rest of the house.
Henry spotted some furniture—drawer chests, chairs, and a small table. There were other things as well such as an old bicycle in the corner, gardening utensils, a little collection of dolls, and a gramophone. He gathered that this place was used as storage for all the things that the Partridges didnʼt know where else to put.
The most striking object, though, was a chaise lounge which stood right in the middle of the room.
“Hardly anyone ever comes up here,” he heard Sarah say. He turned his head and saw her standing next to the door, her fingers nervously playing with a strand of her hair.
“Only Emily comes here occasionally to dust the room,” she added. “On weekdays, that is. Not today, of course, as she is in Norwich...”
Henry looked at Sarah intently, trying to read her thoughts, trying to find out why she had been so eager to show him the attic.
Then his gaze returned to the chaise lounge.
His heart began to race as the realization hit him that it had never really been about showing him the house. Instead, it had all been about venturing one step further towards another level of intimacy.
Calm down… Henry thought to himself when he felt how he almost burst with the temptation to immediately walk over to Sarah and smother her with kisses and love. But he was well aware that this would have been the wrong way altogether. He had to take it slowly because the slightly terrified look in her eyes clearly conveyed that she was scared.
“It is quite warm in here, donʼt you think?” Henry said.
Sarah nodded quietly. Then she rushed over to one of the windows and desperately tried to open it, but even though she was standing on tiptoes she wasnʼt tall enough to reach up. Henry walked over to her and opened the window for her. Then he let his hand sink down on her shoulder.
Sarah didnʼt dare to look at him and shyly avoided his gaze. She appeared nervous and tense, but Henry could sense that she still wanted to be close to him. He kissed her on the forehead and stroked her hair. Then he carefully took her slightly trembling hand and slowly led her over to the chaise lounge.
The sun fell through the little windows and warmed their bodies when they sat down next to each other on the lounger.
“It is nice up here,” Henry remarked casually and by doing so broke the embarrassed silence which had arisen between them.
“I am glad that you like it,” Sarah whispered.
Silence again.
“You must be suffocating in this tight dress,” Henry said eventually.
“I am actually,” Sarah answered.
Henry cleared his throat.
“Would you... would you like me to open some of the buttons?” he asked, surprised at how nervous he had become himself.
His heart was pounding fast in his chest when Sarah turned her back on him and pulled her hair aside, displaying the button tape of her dress. Carefully, Henry began to fiddle with the first button at the collar of her bodice, then with the second, and the third. He secretly expected Sarah to tell him that she had changed her mind and wanted him to stop, but no word came out of her mouth, not even when he opened all the remaining buttons, not even when he began to loosen the cord of her corset and by doing so exposed her naked skin.
What a pretty sight... he thought, when he traced the line of her spine with his fingertips. Then he lowered his head and planted a gentle kiss between her shoulder blades.
Sarah let out a faint whimper, which Henry took as an invitation to go on. And so, very slowly, he let his hands glide underneath her bodice and over her velvety skin until he reached her breasts, until his fingertips found her nipples which immediately grew hard under his touch. He tenderly kneaded her breasts, squeezed them gently, and let his thumbs glide over her nipples again and again, until he felt his own arousal grow. He had to force himself not to succumb to his desire, tear the dress off Sarahʼs body and take her without asking her for permission. Suddenly, he wished that the air was a little bit cooler in the room, but the slight breeze which came in through the windows wasnʼt strong enough to diminish the heat in the attic, let alone the heat in his body.
“Sarah, I need to take off my shirt,” he gasped. “I am melting...”
He slowly pulled his hands out from underneath the girlʼs bodice and began to open the top buttons of his shirt when Sarah suddenly stopped him.
“Let me do it,” she whispered. A slightly anxious yet fascinated expression on her face, she began to open the buttons, slowly, one after the other, as if despite her insecurity and fears she found pleasure in the excitement that accompanied this solemn unfamiliar act. Then she placed her hands on his bare chest and let her warm palms slowly glide over his skin, discovering every inch of his torso. Henry was hypnotizing her with smoldering eyes as she pulled at his shirt and slipped it off his body, as she let her index finger carefully run along his muscles and traced the line
s of his sinews and veins.
When she had finished her examination, he wrapped his arms around her again and whispered, “Would you like to lie down for a little while?”
He heard her mumble a shy ʻyes.ʼ
A happy smile on his lips, he carefully pulled her with him as he lay back on the lounger.
It was an exhilarating moment for Henry. He felt reminded of the day when they had kissed for the first time, down at the lake, when they had lain next to each other, when they had confessed their love to each other. Back then, it had already been utterly tempting for Henry to feel her so close to him, but now it was even more tempting because they had overcome a major part of their shyness and insecurity; it was also more tempting because Henry knew that Sarahʼs dress was unbuttoned.
Pull yourself together... he called himself to reason.
He buried his hand in her soft hair and began to play with her curls, his eyes fusing with hers.
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