Charming the Spy (Scandals and Spies Book 4)

by Leighann Dobbs

  Considering that his brother was a barrister and his grandmother cultivated the goodwill of half the ton in London, Stanley might be able to do more than take away Catt’s job. Panic rose inside her until she tamped it down.

  Don’t be ridiculous. Catt was Gideon’s personal friend. The Duke of Tenwick would never allow a friend of the family to be punished. Not to mention, they worked for the Crown now. Her lot in life wasn’t what it once was, even if she did have to pretend otherwise for the sake of her anonymity.

  “Leave.” Catt bit off the word, his voice as frosty as the window glass. “You aren’t welcome in this section of the house.”

  Stanley opened his mouth, but Catt took a step toward him, balling his fists. His eyes were as cold as ice as he stared the intoxicated man down. The only time Rocky had ever seen a stare that intense and commanding was on the Duke of Tenwick.

  Although Rocky expected Stanley to argue, what little sense he possessed took claim of his brain and he staggered out the hall in the direction of the family quarters. Would he tell his grandmother what had passed? Would she see Catt and Rocky ejected from the manor? She was prodigiously fond of her grandson.

  Rocky wrapped her arms around herself, afraid to move as her mind whirled. Catt held his position until Stanley was safely out of sight. The moment the other man reached the staircase and disappeared from view, Catt turned to Rocky.

  His posture changed immediately—from intimidating to concerned. He reached for her. She slid out of his grasp, taking a step back along the corridor and dropping her arms from around her.

  “What were you thinking?” She battled to keep her voice quiet. She shook like a flag in the wind.

  His eyebrows snapped together. “I was thinking that he was taking advantage of you and had to be stopped.” Unlike her, he made no effort to keep his voice down. His words were clipped.

  Outrage unfurled within her, and she welcomed the familiar burn. “I can take care of myself.”

  “Then why didn’t you? Don’t tell me you wanted…” He didn’t finish his sentence. His expression contorted with distaste.

  “No,” she said quickly. Perhaps too quickly.

  “Then why?”

  “He’s the grandson of our employer.”

  Catt’s mouth flattened into a grim line again. “All the more reason why I had to step in. That doesn’t give him the license to touch you.”

  She crossed her arms, shielding herself from the fierce look in his eye. She’d never seen him so riled. “You shouldn’t have come to my rescue. I’m not some damsel in distress.”

  He threw his hands in the air. “Will you stop taking everything I do as a personal attack? I’m not trying to undermine you or belittle you. I stepped in because I couldn’t fathom doing anything else when the woman I love is in danger.”

  The words rippled in the air between them. Panic crossed his expression as he heard them for himself. He winced, but he didn’t step away. He didn’t try to deny it.

  Rocky couldn’t breathe. “The woman you what?”

  His expression turned serious, without a trace of the easygoing amusement she usually loved. “I love you, Rocky. I have for some time.”

  He pressed his lips together, not saying another word more. Even if he had, she wouldn’t have been able to hear it. Her ears rang. He…he loved her? When? How?

  She didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t think properly. It was as though her mind had gone blank the moment he’d spoken the words.

  He passed his hand across his face. After he heaved a deep breath, he met her with composure. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking behind those sky-blue eyes.

  “Rocky…”

  She took a step back, then another.

  “Rocky, wait—” He reached out as he took a step forward.

  She didn’t wait to hear what he had to say. She spun on her heel and fled, her mind filled with questions. She needed quiet and…and time to think.

  What had just happened?

  Chapter 22

  Rocky wandered the manor aimlessly. Her neck ached from constantly looking over her shoulder to check if Catt had followed her. She didn’t know whether she hoped or feared more that he had. She wanted time to herself, time to think.

  But…he loved her?

  As she reached the kitchen, she met Lady Belhaven in the hall.

  “Ah, Rocky, dear. Would you be able to help me a moment? I’m a bit dizzy. I don’t want to drop this.”

  Reflexively, Rocky took the tray from her, the teacup rattling in its saucer as she slipped into the kitchen and set it on the nearest flat surface. She turned to help Lady Belhaven onto a stool, keeping her hold on the old woman’s arm until the fit passed. It took mere moments.

  “Thank you. I’m sorry to be such a burden. I only wanted a glass of milk and a bit of cake before bed.”

  “It’s no burden,” Rocky answered. She frowned as she took in the old woman’s lack of color. She looked almost yellow. Was she ill? “Where is Abby? I thought she was to tend you tonight. She could have gotten this.”

  “What?” Lady Belhaven looked confused. “No, Abigail isn’t tending me tonight.”

  “I can carry this up for you when you’re ready to walk,” Rocky said.

  “Thank you. You’re an angel.”

  Rocky didn’t know if she would go that far.

  Lady Belhaven narrowed her eyes. “Is something troubling you? Why don’t you fetch yourself a glass of milk? We’ll have the seedcake here. It’s too bothersome to have to bring the dishes all the way back down the stairs, in any case.”

  Again, what Abby was for. How she had let Lady Belhaven slip past her, Rocky didn’t know. With all the extra-curricular activity going on in the house, maybe Abby had been otherwise occupied.

  Although Rocky didn’t much care to talk about what Catt had just confessed in the corridor—had he meant it? Had he blurted it meaning something different? Maybe he loved her as a sister or a friend—she had already promised to escort Lady Belhaven to bed. So long as the woman wanted to remain in the kitchen, Rocky had to do so as well. Stifling a sigh, she fetched herself a glass of milk and a slice of seedcake, not wanting to eat any of the slab Lady Belhaven had cut for herself.

  When she settled onto a stool opposite the old woman, who seemed to have a bit more color in her cheeks now and at the very least was able to sit upright without swaying, Lady Belhaven studied Rocky. Fighting a grimace, Rocky endured the prolonged stare, hoping her employer wouldn’t pry.

  “What’s troubling you, dear?”

  It had been too much to hope for, Rocky supposed.

  She gave the old woman a tight smile. “Catt and I had a fight.” It seemed the least personal thing to confess. Given the stubborn set of Lady Belhaven’s chin, she wasn’t about to take ‘nothing’ for an answer. And, even if he was a degenerate, Rocky didn’t know whether she should inform her employer of Stanley’s appalling behavior. If he tried to force himself on the other women in the house…

  Mentioning something could lose her the lead botanist position. She and Catt had to remain in the household until the Masquerade party. After that, she might be able to confess the truth to Lady Belhaven.

  Perhaps Stanley would mention the encounter to his grandmother to attempt to roust Catt from the house for striking him and the truth would come out. That outcome posed an equal danger to their continued presence in the house, but at least it would take the decision out of her hands.

  “Fights are always difficult, between…friends.”

  Rocky sipped from her glass to buy herself a moment to think. Lady Belhaven hesitated over the word ‘friend.’ Did she suspect that Catt and Rocky were more than mere friends? Rocky brushed a lock of hair away from her hot cheek.

  They weren’t more than friends. They’d shared a single kiss, and that during the throes of Felicia’s perfume. Perhaps a time or two since then, she’d wondered if he might kiss her, but he hadn’t. She’d thought he didn’t feel that way abou
t her.

  Then why had he said that he loved her? It seemed impossible. They fought. They hated each other…didn’t they? Well, she didn’t hate him. And, over the past week, they’d grown more and more cohesive working together. They didn’t argue nearly as much.

  She rubbed her forehead. Could he love her?

  Her stomach quivered at the thought. She was afraid. Afraid he did love her…afraid he didn’t. Why had he said it?

  After she finished chewing her bite of seed cake, Lady Belhaven asked, “What was the fight about? Perhaps it was merely an overreaction on both your parts.”

  Rocky tamped down a bubble of nervous laughter. That, she couldn’t possibly answer. After a moment, she said tentatively, “It was personal, not professional.” She offered no more information. Lady Belhaven wasn’t a friend, she was an employer.

  Fortunately, she seemed to sense that Rocky would give her no more detail than that. She took a sip of milk to wash down her next bite of cake. “I’ve found there are two kinds of men in this world. Those who look down on women no matter how hard we work, and those who seek to build us up. If your Mr. Catterson is of the first persuasion, there may be no reasoning with him.”

  “He isn’t.” The words slipped from between Rocky’s lips before she considered them.

  The impact coursed through her like a shiver. Catt wasn’t one of those men to try to tear down the women around him. He always treated her with consideration and respect, even when they were at odds. In fact, despite provoking him several times, he’d never once told her that he considered himself her better.

  Then there were the moments when they weren’t arguing. When she made herself ill with tension and couldn’t eat, but he managed to diffuse it with a smile and a flippant joke. Or when he held her, just held her until she regained control of her emotions and could continue working. He didn’t think less of her in those moments. If anything, he helped her to accomplish more. He knew precisely what she was capable of, and when the stress was starting to get to be too much. Like tonight, when he’d sent her to bed ahead of him despite the fact that they could have accomplished in five minutes what it had likely taken him ten minutes to do. He knew her, knew when her quick mind was getting the best of her…sometimes before she did.

  In that moment, she couldn’t fathom what her life might be without him. Oh, Lud… She thought she loved him, too. She pressed her hand against her mouth, trying to seal in the words, the realization. She’d reacted abominably when he’d confessed his feelings. What if she couldn’t make amends?

  Gently, Lady Belhaven patted the hand Rocky had clenched on the table. Her hand was soft, her skin almost delicate and fragile. “If he builds you up, then why are you fighting him? There are many more men of the first class than of the second.”

  Rocky frowned. Was the old woman encouraging her to pursue Catt romantically? No, she couldn’t be. “Isn’t there a rule against romantic entanglements in the household?” Her cheeks heated as the question slipped out. What if she’d misinterpreted the woman’s words? She’d given away that she had considered Catt in that light.

  Lady Belhaven frowned. A swarm of bees erupted in Rocky’s stomach as she waited for a response. Could she take the question back?

  “There is no such rule here. Why would you think that?”

  There wasn’t? But Lewis had been explicit… Rocky fought not to frown. Why would Lewis have lied about that? “Forgive me. I must have misunderstood. But…”

  The old woman waited for her to continue.

  “If there isn’t such a rule, there are two people in your house who would very much like to announce their marriage.”

  “Oh?” Lady Belhaven’s eyes lit up. “Are you referring to yourself?”

  Heat scalded Rocky’s cheeks. “No. Miss Towney and Mr. Abrahams have been married for a couple weeks, but they feared being turned out of the house if you knew.”

  “What nonsense! I’ll have to speak with them tomorrow. Why would I bar them from happiness? If anything, I encourage it.” The woman finished off the last of her milk and smiled. A white film clung to her upper lip before she licked it off. “For now, I think I should retire for the evening.”

  Grateful to no longer be the focus of the conversation, Rocky stood and helped the old woman to bed. The climb up the stairs was slow and wearisome, but she tried not to show it. As they traveled down the upstairs hall, Rocky noticed a small library, the glow of the moon splashing in from tall windows and illuminating the room.

  “One of my favorite rooms,” Lady Belhaven’s voice was sad. ”Though it doesn’t get much use from my family. They seem to prefer less literate pursuits.”

  When they reached Lady Belhaven’s chambers, Rocky couldn’t find Abby anywhere. She dressed her employer for bed herself and saw her settled before she left.

  The moment she was alone again, her heartbeat quickened and her head spun. She wiped her clammy palms on the wool over her hips. She’d bungled the moment earlier. If she knocked on Catt’s door, would she be able to make amends? Tell him that she felt the same for him, kiss him. And then what? She was too afraid to contemplate after that, not when she didn’t even know if he could forgive her.

  This wasn’t the right time to pursue romance. They were in the middle of an assignment! But if not now, when? Her heart hammered as she slowly made her way toward the servants’ quarters.

  She paused in front of Catt’s door, battling the urge to tremble like an earthquake. Her heart lodged in her throat, throbbing out a swift, painful beat. It matched the hot knot of sensation beneath her ribs as she thought about turning around and continuing to her room. Although it sounded simpler to give into the fear clawing at her throat, it wasn’t. She had to know if she could fix this, if he still loved her despite the way she’d reacted. She couldn’t bear to lose him. Taking a deep breath, she raised her fist and rapped on the door.

  Her decisiveness buckled beneath the onslaught of nerves the moment her knuckles met the wood. What if he turned her away? It was too late to back down.

  Maybe—

  He opened the door. His cravat and jacket were gone, his shirt unlaced to show the shadowed hollow of his throat. His red-blond hair stuck up at odd angles, as if he’d run his hand through it a time or twelve. He licked his lips, then opened his mouth to say something. For an instant, Rocky saw a flash of the same uncertainty written across his face that gripped her.

  She opened her mouth, but she didn’t know what to say.

  “Rocky, I—”

  I love you, too. She opened her mouth, but her throat tightened. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t say the words.

  She stepped forward, snaked her hands around his neck, and kissed him instead.

  Catt couldn’t breathe as Rocky pressed her mouth to his. Was this real or was he dreaming? She hadn’t seemed pleased when he’d confessed his feelings for her. If anything, she’d seemed appalled.

  That memory, more than anything else, convinced him to savor this moment. He didn’t know if it would still be there when he opened his eyes. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. The soft curves of her body molded to his, impeded only by their clothes. She felt incredible. Better than incredible. He kissed her like he was finishing what he’d started outside in the hall. She clutched him like she’d never let go. But he couldn’t keep kissing her, as much as he wanted.

  Aching in more ways than one, he lifted his head. When he straightened, still supporting her against his body until she regained her balance, she gulped for breath. She opened her eyes slowly, her thick eyelashes fluttering across her desire-darkened eyes as she looked up at him. He’d dreamed of that look. Far too often, of late.

  His throat worked as he struggled to find words. He was usually more eloquent than this. “Why?” His stomach tumbled like it contained an acrobatic team as he waited for her answer.

  Those thick eyelashes veiled her eyes. Her arms unhooked from around his neck and she dropped down from the balls of her feet.


  “Just kiss me.”

  For one impossibly long moment, he continued to stare as he tried to absorb the moment. She was really there. She wanted him to kiss her. But earlier in the corridor…

  He shook his head. He shouldn’t examine it too closely. If he did, he might not like what he found. So, instead of thinking, he bent to kiss her again. As his mouth descended on hers, the tense muscles in her body relaxed. He surrendered to the feel of her, the taste of her. He couldn’t get enough. Zeus, but he loved her. Did she feel the same?

  After an altogether too brief kiss, he separated their mouths again. He opened his mouth, but didn’t speak. What if she didn’t love him? What if, like any other women he’d met who had expressed interest in him, she only wanted him for a night? He licked his lips.

  She sank her teeth into her lower lip and lowered her gaze to his chest. “Are you going to invite me into your room?” Her voice sounded hoarse.

  His knees weakened. Was she asking…? He swallowed hard as he struggled to rein in the flare of desire. Instead of speaking, he stepped to the side, clearing a path into his room.

  She straightened her shoulders and stepped inside. Without looking behind her, she shut the door. Her gaze caught his, the candlelight on his nightstand reflecting off her spectacles. He couldn’t read the expression in her eyes.

  By Jove, he wanted to. When he stepped closer, she tilted her face up to meet his. Her lips parted as if she anticipated his kiss. She made no protest when he slid her spectacles away, though she looked a bit disappointed when he took a step back to set them next to the candle. She didn’t move from the door. Given the way she leaned on it, she might not be able to. Was she just as nervous about this as he was? He still didn’t know why she’d come. Usually verbose, this time, she hadn’t rubbed two words together.