Sex Work

by Frédérique Delacoste

  I provided as full a life for my son as I could, and money was the key. Prostitution provided that money, and, even more importantly, it gave me the spare time I wouldn’t have had with any nine-to-five “real” job. It provided the best private schooling, the chance to travel, the best medical care.

  On October the first, 1985, my son died. He would have been ten years old that December.

  Now, I am “retired,” I became involved with a Prostitution and AIDS study funded by the government, interviewing prostitutes and drawing blood samples anonymously to see what percentage of prostitutes in my home city are infected with the AIDS virus. The experience led to my expanded interest in AIDS, and now I work with AIDS patients in many capacities.

  Prostitution served me very well, indeed. It was a most useful tool.

  I have no regrets, no shame, no remorse. Indeed, I look back on my prostitution experience with a sense of pride and accomplishment. I did it, I’m glad I did it, and I applaud those who do it now.

  Here’s to the Ladies of the Night — Carry on! Save your money, make wise investments, and above all else — love yourself.

  Interview with Barbara

  Carole

  Barbara is a thirty-nine year old woman. She’s worked with prostitutes’ rights groups and lives in Richmond, California. I interviewed her in her home, which she shares with her daughter, mother and sister.

  Carole: How long have you worked as a prostitute?

  Barbara: I’ve been a prostitute for seventeen or eighteen years.

  Carole: Where have you worked?

  Barbara: Basically California. I’ve also worked in Alaska, Washington, Hawaii and Nevada. I’ve worked on the streets and in the casinos in Nevada. But I don’t work the streets anymore. What I do now is really not prostitution, it’s domination. I still charge for it and I still like doing it. If I could work on the streets I would, but the police make it too dangerous. They arrest you a lot so that you have to spend all your earnings to get out of jail. And then, they make you work in dark corners; you can’t work out in the open for any amount of time. They come along and say, “Move on, move on.” Basically, that’s why I don’t work the streets anymore. I’m older, too, but I think if the police didn’t bother me and if it was legal, I’d be working the streets still. It’s much easier and you don’t have to play the boyfriend-girlfriend routine, you know, and it’s quicker! (She laughs.) If you get a guy off the streets, it usually lasts about twenty minutes. The whole date, from there to the apartment and back.

  Carole: What are your experiences with police arrests? Are tricks ever arrested?

  Barbara: They never arrest Johns. One time, I can remember in particular when they arrested me and four other women in San Francisco. There were five guys there and instead of arresting them, they made them testify in the trial against us.

  Carole: Is that typical?

  Barbara: That’s typical, yes. If they catch you with the guy, no matter what the guy says, they won’t arrest him. One time I can remember I was arrested and I was with a guy when the police pulled up behind us. I told him, “Look, don’t say nothing, you know, just tell them, hey, I’m talking to you because as long as you don’t say anything, I won’t.” Well, he freaked out and told the police, “Yeah, she solicited me for X amount of money,” and they let him go. They wanted him to testify against me, but he didn’t. The guy was into domination. At that time I didn’t know what domination was, but he wanted me to whip him and beat him, and he wanted me to put him under a table and just do my commands, do whatever I told him to do. I thought he was crazy, but I also didn’t know it was domination. (She laughs.) I knew he wasn’t going to go to court, because if he’d come to trial, I would have told everything. They finally dismissed the case, but I had to go to court at least five times.

  And the case was not a case. I mean, the guy had actively solicited me. But I had to pay the cost. I had to bail out of jail and make five court appearances.

  Carole: How many times have you been arrested?

  Barbara: To be honest, I don’t know. At least thirty, probably closer to fifty.

  Carole: What kind of violent experiences have taken place in your work?

  Barbara: Well, I don’t know if this is violent or not. To me, it was. It was the first time I was arrested in San Francisco. I was with a girl. I didn’t know her. She had two guys with her. She said they wanted to date her, so we walked around to the place that we were supposed to date at, and we find out that the guys were policemen. So the police said, “You’re under arrest,” and he said, “Bitch, if you make a move, I’ll knock you down in the streets right now. Do you hear me?” I said, “I’m not going to do anything,” and he said, “Did you hear me, bitch?” You know, he screamed and hollered at me.

  Carole: This was in San Francisco?

  Barbara: Yes, the San Francisco police.

  Carole: Have you been raped while working?

  Barbara: Yes. The first year. I was working in Oakland. This guy pulled up to me. He was a young black guy, and he told me that he had a friend who had fifty dollars, but who was too ashamed to come in the area. He said he would take me to the guy. At the time, I didn’t know any better, and I was loaded on reds, so I went with him. He was supposed to take me to this hotel, but he pulled up in this remote area. And when he pulled off, he grabbed my purse and told me, “Bitch, give me all your money.” I told him I wasn’t going to give him anything. Okay, since then I’ve learned that you don’t fight back. But I fought back that night. He wound up taking my purse and my coat. I wore wigs then, and he took my wig. He took everything. That was the only time something like that really happened...and I don’t blame the guy. I blame myself for it because I was loaded on reds, because I should have known better in the first place, and, believe me, after that I have. That’s about the most violent thing that has happened to me.

  Carole: So, he didn’t rape you?

  Barbara: Well, yes, he did. He raped me. But the rape part was nothing. I mean, the devastating part to me was him taking everything I had. He did rape me. . . the rape was nothing. You know, he screwed for about twenty minutes, not even that long, maybe about fifteen. That part doesn’t really stick with me because that wasn’t the devastating part. Everything after that was.

  Carole: When that happened, you didn’t want to go to the police?

  Barbara: I didn’t even think about going to the police at all, you know. At that time I was so young. I was twenty-one. I had just started working. I thought beause I was a prostitute, how dare I go to the police. . .

  Carole: Was it because you didn’t want them to know you were a prostitute?

  Barbara: Well, yes. But at that time I didn’t think I had any rights. And, I was loaded, too. I figured I’d be in just as much trouble as this guy would be.

  Carole: Were you ever raped again while working?

  Barbara: I’ve had them try. It’s just that that’s the only time anyone’s succeeded. I had this guy one time. I was in Emeryville. He pulled up to me and told me he wanted to date me.

  I got in his car and we drove like we were going to my apartment. All of a sudden, he pulled over and said, “I don’t have any money and you’re going to fuck me right now.” I said, “In the front seat?” He had a small knife, it was real small, like a pen knife, and he said, “Get in the back seat.” So I got in the back seat. And I said, “Look, whatever you want to do, just do it. I won’t fight at all, there won’t be any trouble.” He started dating me and I kept on being so nice. I’d say, “Oh, and you have to put on a rubber.” (She laughs.) I was just real sweet. He couldn’t stand it. He started dating me, he started screwing me and he pushed me out of the car. I think he really wanted me to fight and jump with him. And I wasn’t violent at all — “Okay, you want some, fine I understand, just don’t mess up my dress, don’t mess up my hair.” (She laughs.) He didn’t want anything to do with me because I wouldn’t fight him.

  One time I was in Alaska. This guy pulled up
and when he pulled up I knew that it wasn’t someone I should go with, but it was cold. We were in Anchorage, and in Anchorage you have to work on the streets. They won’t let you work in any of the hotels or bars. They harass you some on the streets, but you can still work. It was freezing that night and this guy pulled up and he looked wrong, but I went with him anyway. So I’m on my way to the apartment and two blocks before we get there he grabs me. Well, I had some hair spray, those little aqua-net hair sprays, they make good mace. I took it and sprayed it in his face and it sort of blinded him. Then I just got out of the car.

  Carole: From your experience, how do the police respond to the rape of a prostitute?

  Barbara: I’ve heard them say many times that you couldn’t rape a prostitute. Once my girlfriends were attacked by some guys. They were in Berkeley and called the police. The police just said, “That’s the price you pay, it comes with the trade. . so why bitch and scream, you’re a prostitute.” Which is totally ridiculous.

  Carole: Have you heard about the murders of prostitutes in the East Bay which have taken place over the last few months?

  Barbara: I’ve heard about them, but not very much.

  Carole: What about the Los Angeles and Seattle murders?

  Barbara: Yeah, the Green River murders. Most of the girls he’s killed have been prostitutes. He went from Seattle to Oregon and I think maybe to Los Angeles and then back to Seattle. The feds didn’t want to get involved because even though it’s interstate, they say it’s not their territory. Why? Because they’re only prostitutes. Their age range is thirteen to thirty-five or thirty-eight. I think that if the FBI got involved, they could stop it. And the parents, apparently they don’t want to speak up because their daughters are prostitutes. But it’s so low-key that I’ve barely heard about it, let alone other people hearing about it.

  Carole: Back to the issue of rape. Barbara, I’ve asked some district attorneys about rape cases of prostitutes and several of them have told me that they think prostitutes report rapes when actually they’ve been robbed of their money. What do you think of that?

  Barbara: That’s ridiculous! If she goes to the trouble of reporting it, she’s definitely been raped. Lots of times the women blame themselves if they get robbed or don’t get their money.

  Carole: You’ve said several times that you feel it’s your responsibility to not get hurt. But after all, no one has the right to attack you.

  Barbara: Oh, no, nobody has the right, but I do have the right to protect myself, and if I know how to protect myself and I’m not doing it, then I don’t feel that I can blame them. Yeah, they’re invading my territory, and they don’t give a damn, but I’m saying that if I protect myself, nothing can happen. I’m pretty strong mentally and physically, not physically enough to fight a man, but basically, if I keep my head and think right, you know, if I’m not loaded, which most of the time I’m not. That one time I was. But if I’m working, I don’t do drugs, and I mean nothing. I barely drink. Even though I do blame the person, I know that if I’d done what I needed to do, I wouldn’t have been in that mess.

  Carole: Have police officers tried to get sexual favors from you?

  Barbara: Several times. But not as bad as the other girls. Once two other girls and I were sharing an apartment and the landlord decided to call the police and tell them we were working out of it. He flagged down this police. Well, I knew the guy he flagged down and he was really good. One time, he’d seen me turning a car date, doing a blow job in a car, and he didn’t do anything on that occasion. And there were a couple of other times, too. Then after about four times, he told me that I owed him a date. He told me if I didn’t want to go to jail, I should give him something. I said, “Well, I can’t do that, I’m a prostitute, and if I do that you’re gonna pay me.” He wound up giving me a dollar and seventy cents. I didn’t mind because I would much rather have dated him for a dollar and seventy cents than go to jail.

  I’ve heard that happening many times. With vice officers, too. Most of the times I hear about it they’re trying to scare the girls into something, you know. It’s like, if you date me then I’ll keep all the rest of the policemen away from you, or I’ll tell you who all the police are.

  Carole: Do you think it’s better for the prostitutes not to give them anything?

  Barbara: For me it was always better if I didn’t date them. It’s like dating a bartender. If you’re in a place and he wants you then he’ll keep letting you be there until he gets you. Then after he gets you, he won’t want to see you anymore And so that’s what I did with the bartenders and cops, too. I’d tease them and play like I was going to — “I can’t do it right now, you remind me of a trick; you’re too nice a guy.” But I’ve dated a lot of police. Lots of them. I didn’t know until afterwards.

  Carole: It was during their off-hours?

  Barbara: I don’t know if it was or not. They said they weren’t working, but they showed me their badges and stuff afterwards. One cop said he wanted his money back. I said, “Bull.” I wasn’t afraid of him. I knew that if he told people he’d get in more trouble than I would.

  Carole: I’ve also heard that more black prostitutes are arrested than white prostitutes, and that black prostitutes are kept in jail longer. Is that true?

  Barbara: That’s true. I can barely remember any white girls who were in jail with me in Oakland. The black girl has a much harder time on everything. She’ll get kicked out of the hotel much faster than a white girl. A white girl, if she’s got any kind of class about her, can work anywhere. Whereas if you’re black, if you do anything wrong at all, like getting up to go to a guy in a bar when he calls you over instead of making him come over to you, they can kick you. If you’re black, they kick you out faster. In Las Vegas, they arrested a lot of white prostitutes, but at first there were only white prostitutes.

  Carole: A San Francisco study by Mimi Silbert, PhD, of the Delancey Street Foundation, of two hundred street prostitutes revealed that two-thirds had been raped or forced to do things they didn’t want to do. What do you think of those numbers?

  Barbara: It sounds too high, and I’ve known quite a few prostitutes. See, people want to downgrade prostitutes and they think that guys can just take advantage of them. But most of the time the prostitutes set the rules. Johns go where we want them to go. We run everything. They pay you first, they come to your place, they wash, they must use a rubber. People think that the tricks call out the rules but I don’t know what girls they talked to. Now junkies work totally differently from prostitutes who are not junkies. And they get hurt more.

  Carole: Barbara, why did you first get into prostitution?

  Barbara: I did it for the money. That was the only reason I got into it. I couldn’t find a job that paid more than minimum wage, whatever it was at the time, two dollars and thirty-five cents. I had two children. I had no way of supporting them besides being on welfare. I was always working two jobs but with the one or two jobs I could still barely pay rent.

  Carole: At this point, how difficult would it be for you to leave prostitution if you wanted to?

  Barbara: It would be hard. I’m not into prostitution right now. I’m into domination. But if I wanted to leave both of them alone it would be very difficult because my mother stays here with me, and my sister and my daughter. My sister and my daughter have jobs that don’t pay much and my mother is on social security, so I’m the breadwinner. I have to pay the rent, help take care of them. And I have to take care of myself, too.

  Carole: What kinds of things would you change about prostitution if you could?

  Barbara: First, I’d make it legal. Lots of prostitutes feel they’re guilty when they’re arrested and that they don’t have any rights. I’d like prostitutes to train prostitutes to change that so they don’t think that they have to have pimps. If a woman wants a pimp, that’s her business, she should be allowed one. But if she doesn’t want one, I don’t think that she should have one. I’d make it so that prostitutes had a place
where they could work. If they wanted to work the streets I’d make it so that they could. I’d make it so the police would do other things besides bother prostitutes. So many times I was harassed by policemen and they’d say: “It’s much easier coming here and talking with you because you’re not going to do anything to me.”

  I was in Amsterdam last year. We had a Forum. A lot of the girls were telling me how bad it was even though they have places to work out of. At first, you know, I went along with them and said, “Yeah, I understand,” but then I went down to the red light district, and if I had had a red light district when I was a prostitute, I would have loved it. They have little store fronts, and they sit in the window. Some girls wear hardly anything, some are dressed regular. The guy comes up and if he wants you, he knocks on the door. You’ve got your bodyguard in there in case anybody wants to go off or anybody’s drunk or whatever. Now, I don’t think we’d have to be limited that way. The women in Amsterdam complained that this was the only place they could work. I think that women should be able to work where they want to. They also complained that if they got a regular job in additon to the prostitution, they had to tell people that they were prostitutes. I think that’s totally wrong. I don’t think that I should be stigmatized if I want to sell my body.

  Carole: So, that was their main complaint, that they had to stay in one area?

  Barbara: Yeah. And that the landlords charged them an arm and a quarter. That if they wanted to get out of it, or just take a part-time job, they had to say they were prostitutes. Still, if we had that much! Some of the women who were with us said, “Yeah, but that’s horrible — they’re standing there like cows and they’re taking them out like cattle.” Well, fine, but I’d much rather have guys come to me than go to them. (She laughs.) And most prostitutes would.