by Jodie Larson
More.
The thought rolls through my mind, unsure of how capable I am of giving her that. As she’s said before, my lifestyle isn’t an easy one. Yet somehow it doesn’t seem to hinder the rest of the group’s personal lives. Could it be they have the advantage since they knew each other before our careers took off?
We walk through the door and I quickly change my clothes, putting on my usual attire of shorts, graphic shirt, and my trusty baseball hat.
Lizzie barely looks up from her book as I head toward the door. “If you remember, will you bring me back one of those cranberry orange scones and an iced caramel latte? Figure you have the inside track to hooking a girl up with her coffee fix.”
I laugh and answer, “Yep,” as I walk out the door and straight to my destination.
Lila—whom I’ve come to know over the last couple weeks—smiles as I walk through the door.
“She’s in back. Want me to grab her?” Today’s hair color choice is light pink, which works well with the remaining lavender she kept from last month.
“If you could.” I stand off to the side, not wanting to hold up the line in case someone else came in. Though I’ve been good about timing it during her “slow times” as she calls them. Less chance of distraction.
Kylie comes out of the back room, the same smile she always wears on her face.
“Hey, you.” She greets me with a quick kiss before pulling me to our usual quiet table off to the far side of the room. “Looks like I’m gonna have to cancel tonight. My mom got called to work a double and Jenny is in the middle of a massive project and will be spending most of her time at Brady’s working on it.”
I shrug. “Who says we need a sitter?”
Her tiny brows draw together, creating a perfect little V. “Uh, if we want to do something other than play Chutes and Ladders we do.”
Puffing out my chest, I feign offense. “I’ll have you know I used to be the champion of Chutes and Ladders. I’d like the chance to defend my title.”
God, I love her laugh. The way it lights up her whole face mesmerizes me every time.
“Okay, fine. Want to come over tonight? You can help watch Jayce while I study for a bit.”
“Deal.”
I never thought of myself as a family man. I liked kids, but they never stuck out as something I saw in my future. Jayce is different. He’s so laid back, carefree. Almost the opposite of Kylie sometimes. But I guess she needs to be since she’s the parent. And she’s doing it alone. I can’t give her enough credit for doing what she does. Being raised by a single mom taught me there’s no shame in a support system. When she had to work nights, I stayed with one of the guys. We were all brothers, spending time at each other’s houses. Our parents didn’t mind because everyone was happy to help.
The bell jingles, indicating our time is up. She hasn’t been talked to yet about her “breaks” and I don’t want to get her in trouble.
“You remember where I live?” she asks, darting behind the counter.
I nod. “It’s been a few weeks, so I don’t want to sound like a stalker, but yeah.”
“I believe we’ve had this conversation before.” It’s taking everything inside me not to drag her over the counter and kiss the smirk right off her lips.
“What am I gonna do with you?”
A coy smile curls her lips. “We’ll think of something.”
She blows me a kiss and disappears into the back again, leaving myself, Lila, and the little old woman placing her order.
Better get Lizzie her coffee and food if I ever want to come home again.
Why in the hell am I struck with a bout of nerves? Kylie and I have seen each other practically every day for the better part of the last month. And if we don’t see each other physically, we’re spending hours texting back and forth, getting to know one another while having a gif war or seeing who can find the funniest meme. Hell, we’ve had entire conversations alone doing that. She makes me laugh like no one else.
So why is walking up her sidewalk suddenly putting me back to hormone-wracked teenager asking Julie Hutchens to prom? I grip the bag in my hand tighter as I knock on the door. Before I even have my hand lowered, it swings open and the cutest five-year-old jumps into my arms.
“Pax! Mama said you were coming over.” He drags me inside, barely giving me time to take my shoes off by the door. “Come on, let me show you my stuff.”
Not that I have much of a choice. He’s got a death grip on my hand with no intention of letting it go. We find his room and the minute he lets me go, he’s on the floor, dragging out his collection of monster truck toys. Some of them are even classics, like the ones I had as a kid.
“Here.” Jayce hands me a large blue one. “Let’s play Monster Truck Rally. I’ll build the course. And then we can jump over the cars.” I take the car from him, setting my bag of food off to the side and out of the line of fire.
Outside of Lizzie being eight, I don’t know if I’ve heard another human being talk this fast or be this excited. Jayce sets up the course, lining up other cars under a ramp, using all the available floor space he can find.
Once it’s all set up, I let Jayce go first, showing me how it’s done. He pushes the truck around the room, including all the sound effects. When he comes to the jump, he twists the truck with his hands; and elaborate 720 that I’m pretty sure is impossible in real life. Landing with a thud, he whips back to the start, falling back on his hands completely out of breath.
“Okay, your turn.”
I smile down at him. “I’m not sure I can beat that.”
“Just try.”
With a nod, I follow the same path he laid out, trying—and failing—at the sound effects. Jayce is losing his mind, practically rolling on the floor with laughter as I crawl around the small space, pushing a toy truck. Somewhere around the halfway point, my cheeks start hurting from the smile on my face.
Time to give it my all. He wants to play? I’ll show him a move or two.
When I hit the ramp, rather than doing an over-under roll, I decided to take a different route, spinning the truck in a corkscrew, shooting it over the cars below like an arrow.
“Whoa!” Jayce claps his hands behind me, even cheering when I bring the car back to the floor with a flourish. Rounding the last corner, I really ramp up my game, roaring the engine before coming to a screeching stop on the back two wheels.
Jayce hugs my neck. “That was awesome. Wanna go again?”
A soft giggle turns my head to the doorway, finding Kylie leaning against the jamb, arms folded and looking more beautiful than ever with her hair piled high on her head and shorts that make her legs look a mile long. Even the oversized t-shirt that hangs off her shoulder is sexy. I’m positive this girl could wear anything and make it look like a million bucks.
“I see you got suckered into playing trucks?” She walks into the room and crouches down between us, ruffling Jayce’s hair.
“Mama, you should have seen the move Pax did with the blue one. It was all…” He breaks into sound effects, mimicking the move with his truck, with a few embellishments thrown in.
Kylie smiles down at her son, pure love shining from her face. “Are you getting hungry?”
I reach over and grab the bag. “I came prepared for dinner. All I need is for you to relax and let me and Jayce take care of it.”
She looks between the two of us. “You know how to cook?”
“Define cook.”
Kylie eyes me skeptically.
“I know how to make spaghetti, so that’s what we’re having.”
Apparently, it’s a popular choice because Jayce leaps to his feet and starts doing some sort of dance.
“That’s my favorite,” he proudly exclaims.
“Excellent. Then you can be my assistant while your mom finishes her work.”
Kylie’s eyes widen. “Um, it’s okay. I can take a break.”
I grab her by the shoulders and lead her out the door. “You asked f
or help watching Jayce while you study. That’s what I’m gonna do.” I let her lead since I have no idea where I’m going. “We’ve got dinner. You do your thing.”
Jayce follows behind us, chatting up a storm, complete with a million questions. Once Kylie is situated back at her perch on the couch, the two of us head to the kitchen, where I unload the bag of groceries onto the counter.
“Okay, bud. I’m gonna need your help. Do you know where a big pot is?”
He nods and digs through a lower cabinet, pulling out a large stock pot.
“Perfect. How about a frying pan?”
“What’s that?”
How do I describe it? “Well, it’s, um…”
“On the shelf above where the stock pot was,” Kylie yells from the other room.
I look down and spot it, grabbing it from the shelf.
“Thank you,” I holler back. “Get back to work.”
She grumbles loud enough for me to hear it, which only makes me smile. After opening a few other cabinets to find the spices I’m looking for, I pull up a chair for Jayce as we work at the stove.
Surprisingly, he’s a good little cook. Knows exactly which bottles I’m looking for when I ask, even manages to keep the hamburger in the pan when he asks to stir. I do, however, make sure to keep the boiling water at the back and away from him.
Jayce tells me all about school, his friends, his Aunt Jenny and the adventures they have together. He goes into great detail about their park adventures, having water fights in the backyard, and learning to play baseball.
“Is that your favorite sport?” I add a little more brown sugar to the sauce as Jayce finally sits down.
“All of them are my favorite. But my friends all talk about hockey because they go to games.” Kylie picks this moment to walk into the room. “Mama says she’ll take me to a hockey game someday.”
“Is that so?”
She picks him up and stares into his eyes. “What did I actually say?”
“That you were gonna try.”
Which I already knew because we talked about it last week at the coffee shop. It’s what gave me the idea to get those box seats.
Her answer is good enough for Jayce as he wiggles out of her hold. “Can I set the table?”
Kylie looks to me. “How much longer?”
The timer beeps and I shut the stove off. “Look out, bud. Hot water coming through.” He backs away and Kylie grabs a strainer, putting it in the sink for me as I haul the pot over and dump the contents out.
“I’d say three minutes. We can dish up here and take it to the table if that’s easier.”
She looks between me and Jayce. “How about you put forks out on the table and make sure the napkin dispenser is full.”
Within seconds, he whips open a drawer, pulling out three forks and heads around the corner, where I assume the dining room is.
“He likes helping,” she says. “Any little thing appeases him, and I try to indulge when I can.”
“Understandable. Do it while he’s still interested, right?”
She nods. “Exactly. Soon he’ll want nothing to do with me and I’ll be the one begging for attention.”
I turn and run a finger down the side of her face before cupping her jaw. “He’ll always want his mom. There’s a reason why it’s called being a mama’s boy or daddy’s little girl. You’ll always be the one he looks up to.”
“I don’t know,” she says, leaning into my touch. “You’re quickly gaining rank as an important person. He talks about you to everyone he knows.” She wraps her fingers around my wrist, holding tight. “He doesn’t know what you do yet, so I’d like to keep it away from him for a little longer. As you can tell, he doesn’t have much of a filter and he may say something to the wrong person, or he’ll gather unnecessary attention. Or he’ll be teased because no one will believe him. I just want to protect him a little longer.”
Tilting her head up to meet my gaze, I kiss the tip of her nose. “I’m on your schedule. You know when the right time will be to tell him. I’m not going to do anything without your consent first. My priority is keeping the both of you safe. The rest we’ll figure out as we go.”
“Thank you.” Leaning down, I kiss her waiting lips, soft and warm like always. We keep it brief since we know he can pop in at any moment.
Which he does as soon as we pull away. “Can we eat now?”
Kylie nods and grabs three plates from the cabinet. “Yes, buddy, we’ll eat.”
Once the dishes are done and Kylie’s convinced me she’s finished with her work for the night, we bring out the board games.
“I was promised Chutes and Ladders.”
Jayce smiles brightly, taking the game out of the box. “It’s my favorite.”
“Mine, too.”
We play several rounds before I look at the clock. “Hey, there’s a hockey game on tonight. Who wants to watch?”
“Me!”
Kylie glances my direction, shrugging her shoulders. “I can make some popcorn if you want.”
“Please, Mama?” Jayce picks his spot and pats the cushion next to him. “Pax, you sit here.”
“You got it.” Kylie heads into the kitchen as I do what I’m told. Jayce snuggles into my side and I turn the TV to the game. The smell of popcorn fills the air as I field all of his questions before Kylie joins us.
“Sorry, we’re new to the game and I haven’t been able to effectively answer his questions.” She blushes and looks down. Not sure why she’s embarrassed by it. Hockey isn’t overly complicated, but it’s a little more difficult than some.
The Kings score first, a nice wrist shot that sails into the upper corner of the net. Not that I’m excited about it. They’re playing the Dallas Stars, another team I can’t stand. I may have to go to a St. Louis Blues game when they come here, as long as I don’t get mugged for cheering for the opposing team.
Jayce asks me a question for every play. I explain to him why icing is called, when a player is offsides, even goalie interference since the Kings couldn’t keep their player out of the crease to save their life.
By the third period, the questions stopped, and Jayce falls sound asleep against my side, still clinging to my shirt. Kylie looks over, her emotions barely in check as her face practically crumbles.
“I can move him,” she barely croaks out.
I shake my head. “Don’t you dare. Come here.” I loop my arm around her shoulder, pulling her into my other side. She slides into a more comfortable position, pressing her ear against my chest.
“Thanks for today,” she says quietly.
I run my hand up and down the curve of her side, even fluttering my fingertips along the back of her arm. “You don’t have to thank me. Anytime you need help, I’m here. If you want me to take him for the day while you do girl stuff or need to study, just ask.”
She rests her hand on my knee. “It’s not fair of me to ask you those things.”
“Why not?” Her statement utterly confuses me. I thought we were getting close.
Kylie straightens up and heaves a sigh. “Your life…it’s different than mine. We live in the shadows while you’re in the bright sunlight.”
I turn my head to face her, mindful not to wake up Jayce, who’s still sleeping. “I don’t have to go on big adventures with him. We can hang at my place or go eat pizza in the same shop as last time and play video games until we’re cross-eyed. And I’ll borrow Brecken’s car so he won’t ride on my bike. I won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. Believe it or not, I’m protective of him too. I don’t want anything to happen to him.”
Tears well in her eyes before pressing her face into my shirt, hiding from me. “You’re too good to be true,” she mumbles before meeting my gaze again. “How can you be this perfect?”
I laugh. “Trust me, I’m far from perfect. But I’m loyal and highly protective of those I care about. You can trust me to take care of you and your little boy. I’ll move heaven and earth to make sure
you’re both safe.”
Kylie leans up and kisses my neck, working her way up to the shell of my ear. “Thank you, Pax.”
Her movements spark another in my shorts. No, not now.
With a cough, I adjust in my spot, trying to find something more comfortable and my hard-on less noticeable. “On that note, I have some tickets to the Kings game this weekend, if you and Jayce are interested.”
Her bright, clear eyes instantly turn guarded. “We just talked about this. Nothing public. I can’t risk subjecting him to someone recognizing you and something happening to him.”
“Hey, back up now.” I’m trying my best not to get defensive. “What did I just get done telling you? I’ve got this covered.” She eyes me again. “They’re box seats, away from everyone else. And the person I got them from uses a separate entrance at the Staples Center, specifically for this purpose. We will have as little interaction with people as possible. Trust me, I’ve thought this out. I just want to experience this with the both of you. Show you we can do normal things together.”
Her silence almost kills me. She has to understand I would never put the both of them in jeopardy if I can prevent it. They mean more to me than I think she realizes. Even more than I do myself. I’ve never been this hung up on a girl before. But everything is screaming to keep moving forward, to show her our potential because as soon as she gets over her fear, she’ll realize we can be everything we need for each other.
Finally, Kylie looks up and the faintest smile appears on her lips. “Okay. We’ll go with you.”
I kiss her forehead and smile into her hair. “I’ve got you. You’ll see.”
With the hockey game over, we’re both too comfortable to move. So I close my eyes and lean my head against hers until the world disappears.
“You have to tell me everything that happens tonight.” Jenny tugs at my hair one last time before spraying it with no less than half the can of hairspray.