Downbeat (Lightning Strikes Book 4)

by Jodie Larson

  “God, Pax.” She moans into the pillow, her breaths shallow and sporadic. I’m finding it hard to keep a rhythm. It’s too good. Way too good. I knew she was perfect before, but this…this drives me over the edge.

  The minute her pussy clenches my cock, it’s game over. I pump harder and faster, feeling the orgasm build in my spine until stars light up behind my eyes as I spill inside her, her name falling off my lips quietly in reverence.

  I kiss her shoulder and pull her close, feeling our hearts slow to normal. “That was…”

  “Incredible,” she answers for me.

  No one has rocked my world like she has.

  “We should clean up and get some sleep.” Kylie moves but I hand her the blanket in case she needs it.

  Pulling my pants up, I nod. “You and Jayce can take my bed. Feel free to use my shower.”

  Her brows furrow. “Where are you gonna sleep?”

  I point to the couch. “I insist.”

  Kylie walks back over and wraps her hands around my head, kissing me like her life depends on it. “You’re amazing. Thank you.”

  Not wanting to start something we can’t finish, I kiss her lips three times before pulling away. “Get some sleep.”

  With a nod, she disappears down the hall to my room. The minute I hear the latch, I fall back on the couch and drape my arm over my eyes. The heavy scent of sex still lingers in the air and I fall asleep as I replay the moment again. And again. And again.

  “So, how was it?” Jenny asks the minute I set my keys down. Is it still considered a “walk of shame” if my child is with me?

  I ruffle Jayce’s hair before he runs over to hug her. “He’s alive, so not bad.”

  “Auntie Jenny, you should see his house. It’s huge.” Jayce stretches his arms out as far as they’ll let him. “His TV is bigger than ours. But we played video games, made pizza, ate ice cream. Oh! And we played the drums.”

  Jenny cocks a brow. “You don’t say.”

  I know what she’s thinking. Now I’m gonna have to tell him who Pax really is, but I want to enjoy this little bubble for a little while longer. Jayce’s filter isn’t always on and he’ll tell everyone under the sun who I’m dating.

  “Uh huh. I gotta go find Gramma and tell her.” Jayce bounds through the house on a mission. I have no idea if she’s even here. Not that it’ll matter. He’ll just keep talking until she gets here.

  Setting my bag down on the dining room table, I take out my books and laptop. I didn’t exactly finish my paper because I couldn’t keep my mind off of Pax. He’s been a horrible influence on my study habits. Whether I’m with or without him, I can’t concentrate. Luckily, I’ve been running on little sleep and lots of coffee. Thank God I have an endless supply at work.

  Jenny sits next to me, propping her chin with her hand, staring.

  I look up from my laptop and start wiping around my face. “What?”

  A knowing grin twists her lips up. “You think I haven’t noticed your late-night visitor? Though I do have to say, I appreciate the fact he doesn’t come over with his bike to wake up the entire neighborhood at four in the morning.”

  Pink tinges my cheeks and I bite my bottom lip, trying to hold back a giggle. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “And don’t think I’m missing your sex glow right now.” She’s practically giddy. “Is he good? He looks like he’d be good.”

  I throw a wad of paper at her head. “I’m not telling you that. Go away.”

  Jenny shrugs and stands. “Fine, don’t tell me. I’ll just use my imagination.”

  “About me?” I laugh at her twisted-up face.

  “Gross! No, about the man who’s rocking your world.”

  Not that I’m territorial, but her comment sits wrong in my head. “Don’t you dare think about him like that.”

  She holds up her hands in defense. “I’m just kidding.” She leans down. “But seriously, does he have a good rhythm on and off stage?”

  If I don’t give her something, she won’t let it go. “Let’s just say he never misses a beat.”

  Jenny squeals. “I knew it.” Without another word, she disappears down the hall to her room, probably to make plans with Brady.

  After cranking out the rest of the paper, I power down my laptop, satisfied with my work. It feels like an A.

  My phone chirps and I smile at Pax’s face. His idea during one of our lunch breaks. Sun shining in the background as we sit under our favorite tree. He’s way better at taking selfies than I am. Probably because of his long arms.

  Pax: What are you doing next weekend?

  Me: Nothing I can think of. Why?

  Pax: We’re having a get-together at Kade’s. Wanna come?

  He keeps complaining that I never spend time with his friends. It’s not that I don’t want to, I just don’t fit in with their crowd, despite his reassurances that I’m crazy.

  Jenny would push me to say yes, stating I need more friends. If I’m serious about dating Pax, I need to embrace everything about him.

  Me: Can I bring Jayce?

  Pax: Of course. I thought it was assumed he was invited too.

  I love the way he includes my son in everything. I never have to worry about offending him when I say we have things going on. Half the time he wants to come with. Depending on the situation, I let him. Jayce has quickly fallen in love with him. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not. It’s too soon for him to get attached. So many variables lie between us. He’s a single, attractive, famous guy who still lives like he’s in college. Roommates, video games, motorcycle, doing things on a whim…is that really what I want? I need stability and consistency. The days of thinking only of myself are long gone. I’m not sure if Pax is at that stage yet.

  Pax: Please come. The guys all want to meet you. The girls too.

  Oh, hell.

  Me: We’ll be there.

  The screen turns from the messages app to the phone with Pax’s name scrawled across the top.

  “Impatient much?” I giggle.

  His deep laugh fills my ear, sending a round of goosebumps down my arm.

  “Texting wasn’t doing it for me. I needed to hear your voice.”

  “Ah, I see. So what are you up to?” I roll a pencil under my index finger, withholding the urge to drive over and see him.

  “Nothing. Doing some laundry. We have to go out of town for a few days, so I need some clean clothes.”

  My heart sinks. Business trip means no lunch dates or surprise drop-ins at work. “Oh, that’ll be fun.”

  “Hardly,” he says, sounding just as annoyed as I feel. “This is only the beginning. We go on tour in a few months.”

  “Oh.” I have no other response. I knew it was a possibility, but to hear him actually say it hurts more than I thought it would.

  “Hey, now. Don’t do that. Not when I can’t hold you in my arms and tell you everything will be all right.”

  I bite my bottom lip, hoping the pain will erase the quiver I know will show in my voice. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

  “Damn it,” he says quietly into the phone. “I should have done this in person.”

  Done what? Break up with me? No. No, no, no. Jayce is already attached. If Pax leaves, it’ll break his heart.

  Not only his.

  “Look, this is your job. I can’t hold you back from it, so you go do what you need to do, and you can give me a call sometime.”

  “What?” Confusion laces his voice. “Babe, I’m not breaking up with you. Is that what you think?”

  I shrug as if he can see it. “I-I don’t know.”

  Noises shuffle through the phone before the familiar sound of his front door echoes across the line. “Don’t move.”

  “I–” Before I have the chance to finish my thought, the line goes dead.

  Damn it. Now he’s going to do it here, in front of Jayce.

  I can’t do this. I didn’t put many expectations on this relationship because I knew h
is job would never keep him around, but I wasn’t anticipating it to be this soon. Just when I finally opened myself up to someone, let them in to see my vulnerable side. I gave him a piece of my heart that was finally starting to mend and now he’s going to throw it back.

  An engine roars outside and my heart kicks up a notch. Shit. He’s here.

  Jayce hears it too and runs to the door, flinging it open and taking off down the sidewalk like the house was on fire.

  “Pax!” He leaps into his arms as Pax takes off his helmet.

  “Hey, bud.” The two of them walk through the door as I lean against the wall by the kitchen, watching with dread filling my body. He sets Jayce down, never once taking his eyes off me. “Can your mom and I talk a second?”

  He nods. “Then can you come outside and play catch with me?”

  Pax smiles. “You bet.”

  He’s saying that to appease him. Satisfied with the answer, Jayce goes back outside, probably to play with his trucks.

  I can’t move. I’m frozen in place, unable to tear my eyes away as Pax stalks toward me.

  “You think I’m breaking up with you?”

  “I–”

  Without warning, Pax grabs my face, crashing his lips onto mine. Desperation and urgency flow through his kiss, leaving me gasping as he threads his fingers through my hair, knocking out the clip holding my hair back. I let go of every thought and cling to his shirt, holding on for dear life.

  He finally breaks away, our breaths mingling in the space between us. “Don’t ever think I’m breaking up with you again.”

  Sincerity shines in his eyes, along with a firm resolve to let me understand the words he’s saying.

  “Eventually you will. We can’t fit into your life.”

  Pax lets out a frustrated sigh. “Stop. Right now.” He leans down, keeping my gaze. “Quit trying to end us before we begin. I’m not going anywhere. I care about you and Jayce too much to ever let you go.”

  This shouldn’t shock me. It’s information I already know. Then why is it so hard to imagine that things can really be this simple? That our feelings matter and life won’t get in the way?

  “You care for us?”

  His laugh is low and throaty. “I’d think it’s fairly obvious by now. You two are the highlight of my day. If I could avoid leaving, I would. But it’s my job.”

  I nod. “I know.”

  Pax tilts my chin up. “Don’t ever mistake my job for me. You are important. This is why I needed to tell you in person rather than over the phone.”

  Oh, that’s what he meant. Duh.

  Now I feel stupid for making him worry, especially since he has so much to do.

  Running a hand down his shirt to straighten the imaginary wrinkles, I swallow past the crow I’m about to eat. “Yeah, I guess that makes more sense. I’m sorry for being stupid. Feel free to ignore me from now on.”

  He pulls me into his chest and I rest my head above his heart. The steady beat calms the remaining edge pulsing through my veins. “You’re not stupid. You have a past where you got hurt and felt abandoned. I’ll remember that next time I open my fat mouth.”

  A smile finally appears as I lift up and kiss his lips. “I like your fat mouth. You’re too good for me.”

  “Hardly. I’m not good enough.”

  And just like that, my fears are quashed and put to rest again.

  He’s not leaving you. He cares about you. It’s not the same.

  A throat clearing startles me and I jump away from Pax with a gasp. Mom enters the kitchen from the backyard, clearly amused at catching us. “Sorry to interrupt.”

  “Not at all,” Pax says. Mom still has a major crush on him, which is awkward as fuck. I’ve never seen her act like a giddy teenager before, but every time Pax appears, that’s exactly what happens.

  Mom looks between the two of us with a knowing smile. Grabbing a few things out of the fridge, she stops at the door before heading back outside. “We’re having burgers tonight. Want to stay for dinner?”

  A grin spreads across his beautiful face. “I’d love to.”

  “What about your packing?” I don’t want to keep him if he has things to do.

  He kisses my forehead and starts walking to the door. “I’ll buy new clothes. Besides, I promised someone I’d play catch with him.” He nods at my mom as he walks past her and out the door. Within seconds, Jayce’s excited voice bellows through the yard. I swear the strongest muscle in his entire body is his tongue. It never stops.

  I follow her out to the patio where Pax and Jayce have started their game of catch. Any insecurities vanish as I watch the two of them play. Jayce’s smile is as bright as the sun, with Pax’s matching.

  Mom slides next to me, the plate of raw patties in hand. “You need to hang on to him. He’s a keeper.”

  Yeah, tell me about it.

  “Stop fidgeting. You look amazing.” Pax chides me and slaps away my hand as I pull at the dress for the umpteenth time.

  Jayce is singing some song in the backseat, beyond excited to come with. He hasn’t stopped talking about it since Pax told him. Who am I kidding? This kid never stops talking.

  “I’m nervous, okay? You’re introducing me to a group of people who are your closest friends.”

  “So, stop worrying. They’ll love you.”

  What have I gotten myself into?

  We pull up to the immaculate house, well out of my neighborhood. It’s the kind of house I’ve always dreamed of owning. Quiet street, lined with trees, fenced in yards with neighbors that are close but far enough away to gain some privacy. Several cars line the circular driveway.

  Pax parks the car and helps unload Jayce while I grab the present from the back seat. When he asked if we wanted to come with, he failed to mention that it’s a baby shower for his friends. I almost killed him when he sprung that tidbit of information on me yesterday. He laughed all the way to the store as we tried to find something on her registry that she didn’t already have. I finally settled on a “spa” package: every bath item you could possibly want for the baby and lots of relaxing salts and bombs for mom, including a gift certificate for a massage. Pax refused to let me pay for it and forced me to sign my name to the card.

  The three of us circle around the house, hand in hand, finding the crew all gathered around the expectant mom-to-be. Pax told me about Myles and Tatum’s history, which has survived so much. They seem like the perfect couple, though not as much as Kade and Adrienne, from what I’m told.

  “Pax, Kylie, welcome.” A woman with long, brown hair and the cutest little girl attached to her hip greets us.

  “Adrienne,” Pax whispers.

  I nod. “Thanks.”

  “How’s it going?” She gives us each a hug—as best she can—and offers to take the box from me.

  “Oh, no. Don’t you dare. You’ve got your hands full. Just point where it needs to go, and I’ll take care of it.”

  Adrienne smiles and points to a table near the patio door. “Over there is fine. Feel free to grab something to drink on the way. There’s punch in the bowl or soda and water in the coolers.”

  The little girl lets out an excited squeal when she sees Jayce, who instantly beams.

  “She’s adorable. What’s her name?” I ask.

  “Lyric. She’s our pride and joy. She’s also the cause of the bags under my eyes.”

  I can see why. Bright blue eyes, a shock of dark hair, and chubby rolls for days. I could eat her up.

  “Teething?”

  Adrienne smiles. “Finally. Someone gets it. It’s the worst. Poor little thing is always crying out.”

  She follows me as I place the gift on the table. Jayce stays next to me, mesmerized with Lyric. “Does she have a diaper rash to go with it?”

  “Thankfully, no. Just the constant fussiness.” Adrienne kisses her forehead. “Today’s been good, but I also gave her a bit of Tylenol, just in case.”

  “It’s a lifesaver, right?”

  She laug
hs and leads us over to a group of girls. Lizzie I recognize, who waves and comes over to give me a hug.

  “Glad you could make it,” she says. “Pax has been so excited about today.”

  I’m not sure how to respond, so I nod and try to keep the redness out of my cheeks.

  Adrienne places a hand on my shoulder. “Kylie, this is Tatum,” she says, regarding an adorable blonde with a very round belly.

  “Nice to finally meet you. Pax talks about nothing else. Is your son here, too?”

  I look down, expecting him to still be at my side, but I find him over by Pax, giving all the guys high fives.

  “That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” Tatum says, rubbing her belly. “Only this will make Myles want a boy. Apparently he needs to pass his knowledge and expertise onto somebody.”

  “Oh, good God, what on earth could that be? How to avoid an STD?” another blonde says next to her. “No offense, of course.”

  I damn near choke on the air. Adrienne rolls her eyes. “Jesus, Quinn. A little warning before you shut off your filter. You’re going to scare poor Kylie away.”

  “Hey, better to throw her right in.” The woman stands and extends her hand. “I’m Quinn. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to me.”

  Lizzie and Tatum nod in tandem, both laughing. “Ignore the rough edges. She’s good at heart.”

  Oh, I think I’m going to like this group.

  Adrienne pushes a chair my way, which I gladly accept. “Quinn flew in from Kansas City to be here today.”

  “You’d think I’d miss this party? Anything to get away from this damn cold streak we’re having.”

  I laugh with everyone else. “How long have you known each other?”

  Quinn points to Adrienne. “We’ve been best friends since childhood, hence why she doesn’t flinch at my brashness.”

  “And I grew up with the guys,” Tatum adds.

  “Myles is my brother, but you already knew that,” Lizzie says.

  “And the band brought us all together,” Adrienne finishes. “We’re our own support system, helping each other out whenever we can, however we can.”

  Must be nice. I have Jenny and Mom, but nothing like this. No friends to rely on or anyone to call for help or knew what I was going through.