The Tome of Bill (Book 7): The Wicked Dead

by Rick Gualtieri

  “Ed?” I glanced back at my roommate. “No offense.”

  “None taken, man. I am the epitome of innocence lost.”

  “In your dreams,” I replied before turning to face Calibra again. The look on her face was one of mild amusement.

  Before I could say another word, though, she let loose with a compulsion. “ALEXANDER, BE A GOOD DOG AND STAY!!”

  To my surprise, and a good deal of horror, Alex’s forward progress halted immediately. Oh boy, this wasn’t looking good.

  James’s legs tensed, but Calibra held up a finger toward him and gave it a single shake.

  “Okay, excuse me for calling bullshit,” I resumed, hoping to buy time ... for something. I wasn’t sure what. Maybe we’d get lucky and a random meteor strike would hit. “But for all your crap about pure ones, your boy toy tried his best to kill Ed when they first met. Also, if I recall correctly, you were with us when we were trying to track down Mr. Muscle Dick. You saw Ed fry at least one vamp with his blood. You could have grabbed him at any time if he was so fucking important to you.”

  To my surprise, Calibra’s mask of composure dropped ever so slightly, replaced for a moment by one of annoyance and maybe even slight embarrassment. “Very simply put, I did not realize his significance at the time.”

  “And you’re the all-powerful progenitor of our race? You’ll excuse me if I’m less than impress... URK!”

  All at once, it felt like my body was shoved into a giant vise grip. I was dragged away from Christy and lifted into the air by seemingly nothing. Oh yeah, I almost forgot – this chick was queen of the witches too. That was gonna prove a bad combo for me when it came to mouthing off.

  “I am tolerant to a degree, but your insolence grows tiresome.”

  “Yeah ... I get that ... a lot.”

  “The pure one is the first of his kind – ever. I have peered into worlds your feeble mind could not fathom. Yet not even my divinations foresaw his coming. He is simply, so it would seem, a byproduct of the chaos you cause wherever you step.”

  I felt like an orange about to be juiced, but still managed to spew out, “So he’s just ... dumb luck?”

  “In a sense, yes. Albeit, fortuitous luck for my cause.”

  “Let him go!” Christy snarled. She began mumbling something under her breath. I had a feeling it wasn’t just a few insulting names.

  “What counter-spell do you hope to use against me, child?” Calibra’s tone was one of contempt. “Have you not spent your entire life mired in my teachings? I am power incarnate, able to tap into the very essence of creation itself.”

  “You create abominations.”

  “Speak not of my children. They may be unruly, but they are loyal, unlike some ... THAT WILL BE ENOUGH!!”

  James and Gan had picked that moment to rush her. Smart; always pimp-slap the bad guy when they’re monologuing. Sadly, she’d been ready for them. Quick as they were, they barely managed to cover half the short distance before being stopped dead in their tracks. All the while, the pressure around me kept increasing.

  “Stop it,” Ed said, stepping in front of us.

  “Don’t...” I spat out, right before my lungs collapsed. Ugh!

  “You want me. I’ll go with you peacefully.”

  I wanted to scream out, to tell him he was fucking insane, but I had no ability whatsoever to draw air. My vision was starting to turn black around the edges. Hell, it felt like someone had tied a rock to my feet and dropped me into the Marianas Trench.

  “What are you doing?” Sally hissed.

  “Mind your tongue, girl,” Calibra replied to her. “I have not forgotten your insolence either – that you dared point a weapon in my face, however pointless it would have been.” She then addressed Ed. “You will come with me regardless, but I am intrigued. Such loyalty is rare. You would truly choose to surrender yourself to save your friend?”

  “No fucking way,” Ed replied, “but it makes for one hell of a distraction.”

  And that’s when Christy unleashed her spell.

  * * *

  I’d thought maybe she’d planned to launch another death ray or something similar. The problem was, shit like that was expected. When fighting a foe this powerful, this ancient, one needed to be smart about it.

  Fortunately, Christy was quite smart.

  Rather than some display of pyrotechnic awesomeness, calling forth the spirits of the damned or whatever the fuck witches liked to do, what happened was simplicity itself.

  Harry Decker’s noggin leapt up out of Calibra’s hand, seemingly of its own volition, and slammed into her stupid face.

  Simple, but highly effective, as the top of the human skull is pretty darn hard indeed.

  Calibra’s head snapped back. Blood spurted from her smashed nose, ruining the perfect whiteness of her dress. Served her right. She might’ve been a lot of things, but pure as the driven snow wasn’t one of them.

  Decker cried out, whether in surprise or pain I didn’t know – although I knew which I hoped for. His head hit the ground with a solid thonk and rolled away.

  At that same moment, the spell holding me was broken and I dropped to the floor, sucking in a delicious breath of air and enjoying the sensation of not being crushed.

  Unfortunately, the problem of what to do still remained. It was stupid to think one good hit was going to do anything more than piss Calibra off.

  Much to my amazement, though, someone else had that covered. Alex sprang back to life. One second he was a statue, the next he’d slashed Calibra across the stomach with his claws. Bitch was gonna need a gallon of Tide when this shit was finished.

  “You think me your puppet?” he spat, scorn etching his voice even as he etched more out of her body. “I am Alexander. I call no one master!”

  Whatever the cause, none of the other vamps under Calibra’s spell moved a muscle – not even James. Sadly, the same couldn’t be said for the Jahabich. The second Alex attacked their mommy dearest, they were on the move again. Most of them transformed back into their vampire guises – no doubt to take advantage of the extra speed afforded them. I was horrified to see Starlight among their number.

  I turned to Sally. “You up for cracking some skulls?”

  “I’d be insulted if you didn’t ask. You’ll excuse me, though, if I decide I want to get some red on my hands.”

  I looked over and saw what she meant. Firebird was busy backing away from where Alex continued to tear into Calibra.

  “Be my guest,” I replied with a smile. “Ed, stay...”

  “You don’t have to tell me,” he replied to my back. “No way do I want a piece of this shit.”

  “Good boy,” I said before heading out to engage the enemy once more.

  * * *

  The Jahabich were closing in on Alex. Normally, I would have made myself some popcorn and enjoyed the show, but today, that seemed a poor strategy. What we needed was some extra firepower. Thankfully, both Gan and James were close to where Alex continued to engage Calibra.

  I just needed to wake them both up somehow.

  Screw this shit. Back when Night Razor had compelled Sally to play statue, during our final battle, a good slap to the face had brought her out of it. I might have to hit a lot harder with these two, but it seemed as good a strategy as any.

  The Jahabich would be upon us in seconds, so I needed to make it count. Of course, that meant slugging Gan first. Who said I couldn’t enjoy a moment in the midst of soul-searing terror?

  I passed Alex just as he delivered a haymaker to Calibra – the sound echoing like thunder in the chamber. Hopefully, it hurt. Now it was my turn to do the same.

  I reared back and prepared to try to wake my two friends – well, okay, one friend and a personal stalker – but before I could deliver the blow, a hand caught me at the wrist.

  I was spun around and found myself face to face with Alex. Though still composed, he had a wild look in his eye. Calibra lay maybe thirty feet away, although she didn’t look like
she was gonna stay down.

  “Though I am loath to do so, I must admit to a tactical error,” Alex said quickly. “She will be healed before I can reach her again.”

  “Well then, let me wake up...”

  He pushed his hand into my face, shoving it between my lips. “They cannot help us, but you can. Now, before I change my mind or it is too late, drink.”

  * * *

  I didn’t have time to debate him. Though his blood had the potential to bring out the beast inside of me, the white witch in the room – an ironic title if ever there was one – could presumably do far worse.

  Also, fuck this guy. My fangs extended and I sank them into the webbing of his hand between his thumb and forefinger – putting a little extra bite into my bite.

  It had been a while since I’d had human blood, so I had a feeling that when this was all over and done with, a serious crash was in my future, but for now, I sucked down on Alex and swallowed – trying real hard to pretend I had mentally envisioned some different way of putting that.

  The effect was immediate. A small nuclear bomb went off in my stomach as I ascended to heights few vampires had ever known.

  My ears reacted to the slightest of sounds, one of which was Calibra regaining her feet. Although her dress was covered in gore, she appeared whole again. If she was truly as old as she claimed, then injuring her with anything short of a killing blow would be pointless. But hey, if I was going to have any chance of making that happen, it was n ... URK!

  Fuck! I’d hoped that perhaps I’d grown accustomed to Alex’s blood, but no such luck. His power exploded inside of me. Last time, I’d been lucky and Dr. Death had been asleep. Now, though, whatever happened was anyone’s guess.

  All I knew for certain was that I was changing. I dropped to my knees as my body began to expand.

  The only question that remained now was who would be in charge once I rose back to my feet?

  * * *

  “You surprise me, Alexander. I should have guessed that were anyone able to resist my commands, it would be you. It will do you little good, though.”

  I looked up from where I struggled to maintain my sense of self to see Calibra with her hands on her hips, looking smug as a bug.

  Alex contemptuously backhanded a Jahabich who’d gotten too close, nearly bisecting it. “You are wrong, Ib, false god to our kind. I toppled your empire once. I shall do so again.”

  “Oh? And you propose to do that alone?”

  “If I must. However, I am not alone, for the Freewill has dined well this evening.”

  Calibra glanced in my direction. I probably looked about as much a threat as someone trying to not shit their pants. The look on her face said as much.

  The momentary distraction cost her, though, as just then, a blast of energy lanced out from somewhere off to the side. Calibra lifted a hand and warded it off, but a look akin to worry finally appeared on her mug. Christy was back in the battle.

  I turned my head, sweat breaking out on my brow as I continued to fight the change, and saw her. She didn’t look great, but she was still with us. Now, if I could only get my shit in gear, we could make this a fight.

  Calibra seemed to realize this too and backed up a step, baring her fangs at us all.

  I mean, hell, the Cylons didn’t give a shit about fighting one Battlestar, but once two were in the mix, it was a whole different ballgame. Maybe the same rule applied here – except we had three.

  Apparently so, because the next words out of her mouth were a doozy. “TO ME, MY FAITHFUL!! WE HAVE THE KEY TO OUR FUTURE!! LET THESE FOOLS DIE BURIED BENEATH THEIR FAILURE!!”

  The words themselves were ominous enough, but it was their delivery that was the real killer – a full-blown compulsion, possibly the most powerful ever heard on this planet.

  The entire room shook from its power. Had I not been full of Alex’s blood, I had a feeling I’d be waking up a week later craving a case of aspirin. As it was, it still felt like an icepick to the brain. Migraine, take me away.

  Unfortunately, that wasn’t a luxury I had. Calibra’s compulsion had gone wide and every vampire in the room, save me and Alex, responded to it.

  Gan and James plowed into Alex from behind, knocking him off balance as they made their way to their new master. The Jahabich broke off from their advance and joined Alex’s strike team in marching her way as she backed up toward the doors leading to her former office. I couldn’t quite call it a retreat, because she laughed all the way.

  All at once, it was like Calibra had a sea of bodies between her and us – one that she could order to do whatever she pleased.

  Oh no! In both the chaos and my continued struggles to control my body, I hadn’t realized the blonde-haired vamp amongst their number. Sally! With Alex’s compulsion undone, she was just as susceptible to control as the rest.

  No.

  No fucking way was I losing her again.

  Feeling like my guts were trying to squirm their way out of me, I struggled to my feet. With my level of power, it should have been child’s play to overtake her, but my body was trying to rewire itself. That made moving just a wee bit difficult.

  As I stumbled, my partner continued to walk away – ironically enough, side by side with the redheaded traitor she’d set out to kill. Firebird must have sensed my eyes on her backside, because she turned and flashed me a saucy little smile before doubling her pace to catch up to her master.

  And still Sally marched onward.

  I gritted my teeth and bit down on my lip, drawing blood. Not on my watch.

  Pushing myself forward, willing myself to stay me, I hobbled after her – slowly at first, then with more confidence.

  Calibra stopped before the entrance of her office and held up her hands. Sadly, it wasn’t in surrender. Myriad colors ignited from her body. She was apparently going the Saruman route. As dangerous as Christy looked when she was pissed, she was a firecracker next to the walking fusion reactor that was Calibra. The entire cavern lit up as power coalesced around her.

  “Do not let her escape!” Alex shouted.

  I silently told him to go fuck himself as I reached Sally and spun her around. Her eyes were so completely glazed over as to appear white. There was no recognition in them whatsoever, no sense that she was in there fighting back. The only reaction from her was to try pulling away so as to resume walking toward her new master.

  I glared Calibra’s way, hatred in my eyes, and she smiled back, mouthing a single word – “fool.” The power she’d been gathering lanced out from her in an upward arc, where it spread out over the granite ceiling above us. The room immediately began to shake, but not like before. We’re talking the difference between one of those tiny New York quakes and something that could tear California apart.

  Despite my strength, I lost my footing and went down. Sally almost slipped away, but I grabbed her by the ankle and dragged her back to me.

  “Sorry about this.” Before she could escape again, I turned her over and decked her in the mouth.

  She went limp as the ceiling began to crumble from above. Huge chunks of rock fell all around us. I immediately scrambled to cover her body with my own, barely noticing that, in the chaos to save her, the change had receded. I was still me.

  Of course, that would be small comfort if I ended up crushed like a bug.

  The room continued to shake itself apart, but I dared risk a glance up anyway. By now, Calibra had retreated into her office – which didn’t strike me as a particularly safe place if this whole cavern collapsed. The vampires under her thrall were busy marching in after her.

  I was about to duck my head again when movement caught my eye. Still more compelled vamps walked in that direction, heedless of the destruction raining down upon them.

  I remembered how vast the Boston complex was. There were surely more vamps present in this place and Calibra had seemingly summoned them all to her. Talk about power. How many could that be in total?

  “Let me go, cocksucker!�
��

  Turns out I only needed to care about two.

  I glanced to my left, still shielding Sally from the falling debris, and saw Dave. His escape attempt had apparently been cut short by Calibra’s power. That in itself was bad, but what made it far worse was who he was dragging along with him – Ed.

  Fuck!

  By now, it was getting hard to see. Boulders – some as big as a car – fell from the ceiling and smashed into the floor, kicking up a storm of dust. Still, Dave continued his onward trek toward the doors Calibra had disappeared into, while Ed struggled ineffectually against his vampiric strength.

  I was stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place – in more ways than one. Continue to shield Sally or save Ed?

  Sally was helpless, but for some reason, Calibra – a being from the dawn of time itself – wanted my roommate. I had to think it wasn’t to invite him over for a tea party.

  Sadly, right then, my choice was made for me as a particularly heavy slab of stone landed on my back, pinning me. More and more debris rained down around me until my friends were finally hidden from sight.

  “Ed!” I screamed, choking on dust as the place shook itself apart.

  It was the last thing I was able to utter before everything went dark under the crushing weight of oblivion.

  THE SPINE CRUSHING EPILOGUE

  “There he is!”

  “Well, get him out.”

  “It’s not that easy. You want to do it?”

  “Sorry, babe. Those who can’t do, teach.”

  “That’s not funny.”

  Ugh! Waking up from a bender was never fun, and this felt like one of the worst of them. My head was pounding. It was dark. There was a near crushing weight on top of me – that was new. Oh, and something soft was beneath me.

  Wait, it felt like ... holy crap, was that a boob?

  Did I say “worst”? Fuck that shit. Any night when one could wake up to the feel of tits beneath them was epic indeed.

  “Ow!”

  Something hot seared into my back. What the fuck?

  After another moment, my head started to clear. College was years ago, yet I kept dreaming of it like it was yesterday. I really needed to move on with my life at some point.