Death Knows My Name (Memory Keepers)

  I glared daggers at him from across the table, but he ignored me. His attention was fully on Eric. I fumed. Devon was being a complete shit hole.

  Eric shrugged. “My Father gave it to me. It’s part of our culture. I wear it as an honor.”

  “Is he a cult leader?”

  I felt and saw Eric tense up. Oh shit. He was now very pissed off. His chest expanding as he took in very deep breaths and let them out in small gusts. His hand briefly tightened around mine. Where was the waitress to take our damn order? This was going to hell quickly. I needed a rescue.

  “Devon, what the fuck? Dude, that shit was rude.” I was still glaring at him and it took every effort to calm down and not rip his heart out. I wasn’t sure, but I almost knew Eric considered what Devon said to be blasphemous.

  “Devon.” Eric’s voice came out clipped, but he continued. “Because you are who you are, because Mayne loves you so much, and because of the fact that you have no idea. . .” Eric seemed to stopped to compose himself because the last word was almost a shout. “Because you have no idea of whom and which you speak of, I shall let such disrespect pass. Make no mistake, though, this will be the only time. Mayne’s love for you and my love for her will not always save you.”

  Devon’s jaw clenched. “Save me?”

  “Devon, please let it go.” My plea came out as a whisper.

  Neither Devon nor Eric had time to respond because the waitress finally arrived. I glared at her for taking so damn long. My anger at what happened was collecting in my chest. Anger at Devon for being such a rude jerk and anger at Eric for, for just threatening my friend, the only family I had besides my sister. It was just all too much.

  “He will have the Sirloin Fajita wrap, Colby cheese and honey mustard on the side.” I pointed at Devon and barked our orders. Then pointing at Eric, I continued. “He will have just the sirloin well done, not even a hint of blood, is that understood?” The waitress nodded, I am sure out of fear. I was pissed and I wasn’t even bothering to hide it. “I will have nothing because I have lost my fucking appetite!” I pushed my chair back abruptly and marched to the bathroom.

  As I did, I heard Eric murmur to the poor girl, “Please bring her a mandarin salad, a refill of her drink, and can I have a glass of water with my meal?”

  “Her drink is with strawberry syrup, not cherry. Please don’t mix it up.” Devon added, his words sounding desperate, like he was terrified that I’d go off on the place if I got the wrong drink. And, hell, the way I was feeling, he might just be right.

  When I returned, the food had arrived before me. Seriously, the waitress must have put a rush order on our food with the kitchen.

  “I’m not sure I should eat mine. I think there may be spit in it,” I commented.

  Devon erupted in laughter. “I know I would have if I were her, you rude bitch.”

  I stuck my tongue out at him. “Shut up! They probably spit in yours too just to play it safe, not knowing which was the crazy bitch’s. So enjoy.” I smirked at him.

  “There is not spit in any of them.”

  Eric’s voice felt like cold water to me. I froze and my back straightened at the shock. I peeked over at him and the strain on his face told me he was still upset, even if mine was short-lived. But that’s how it had always been between Devon and me. I could never stay mad at him long.

  I scooted my chair close to him and snuggled. His arm lifted and draped around my shoulder, accepting me regardless of his anger. Good. I liked that.

  “I am not angry at you. I will always accept you in any mood,” he said into my hair so that only I could hear him, reading my thoughts.

  I smiled. “Okay smart guy, if there is no spit, how come you aren’t eating?” I asked him as if our other conversation hadn’t happened right under Devon’s nose.

  “I, too, have lost my appetite.” He looked down at me.

  “If they didn’t cook it right I will yell at them if you’d like—”

  “No more yelling, little girl.” He laughed.

  I smiled, glad that I got a laugh out of him. He was cranky, but I couldn’t blame him. Devon dissed God in front of an angel. A real live freaking angel. There couldn’t be a bigger faux pas than that, I don’t think.

  Devon was the only one of us who actually ate. I pushed my salad around my plate with my fork, still not completely convinced it hadn’t been spit in for my atrocious behavior, while Eric leaned back in his seat scowling down at his steak like it stole his bike when he was eight years old. He suddenly sat up, his back straightening. God he was gorgeous.

  Even his well-toned forearm was a work of art, I thought as his skin dance over muscles when they tensed up fluidly.

  “Devon, I apologize for threatening you, however subtly, earlier. It was not called for and I am regretful of it.” His eyes met Devon’s in a steady unwavering stare.

  My heart did a little girly flutter. He was trying to fix it. I knew otherwise he’d still be seething over what Devon said.

  Oh my God, I love you, I happily thought while beaming up at him.

  His eyes briefly flicked over in my direction. “You are thinking out loud again, so we both heard you.” Embarrassed, I shrank down in my chair.

  “I was so totally kidding. I don’t really gush like that in my mind. I was just trying to break the tension of you two’s dueling testosterone and . . . I hate you both!” I finished as they both erupted in laughter.

  “It’s okay, God knows I love you too. Trust me,” he said with a wink.

  My eyes widened. Oh my God, did He really know? Like literally. Had Eric spoken to God? And if that question alone wasn’t enough to make me awestruck, the fact that they had spoken about me was. Holy shit. Little orphan me, a nothing in the grand scheme of things, being spoken on God’s lips. That notion almost knocked me flat and crushed me under its weight. What did knock me flat on my ass was that someone like Eric would or even could love me. I was, well, me.

  That is exactly why I love you, because you are you.

  My grin widened and I had to take a sip of my maybe spit-spiked drink to stop it from cracking my face open it was so big.

  “You are forgiven, but only if you forgive me for being such a shit hole earlier. I’m just . . . I’m so used to having to protect her from everyone and she has had all these new people who I’ve never seen before coming around and it’s just . . . Look, there is no excuse. My bad, man.”

  “It’s forgiven and forgotten.” Eric gestured as if he were wiping dust from his hands before he reached for his water and drank.

  I don’t know what it was, but at that moment I could sense something change in Eric. He didn’t tense up, but something radiated from his body in waves. I reached for his thigh to get his attention discreetly. He turned his head slowly to me and I saw it. His eyes had changed. He had to call someone and I knew he didn’t know how to excuse himself without Devon thinking he was rude or still mad. I made a show of grabbing Devon’s arm and checking his watch. I couldn’t care less about the time. Eric just had to get out of here before Valience had to collect the poor person’s soul. After seeing the difference between them, I didn’t want anyone to suffer Valience’s brutality especially for a reason as dumb as Eric being stuck at a table with us.

  “Babe, it’s almost 2:00. Shouldn’t you be going if you are going to get to work in time?”

  Eric nodded gratefully. “I really should. Thank you.” He stood up stiffly, as if he were actually dreading going. That was odd, he usually didn’t hesitate when he had to go. “I will stop by later.” He paused. “If I can. It may be late. It seems like it is going to be a rough day.”

  He bent and kissed me softly his tongue caressed my bottom lip. I parted my mouth to welcome him if he wanted to go deeper and explore my mouth. His tongue started to but he stepped back briskly. I wasn�
�t sure if it was Devon sitting there and if he didn’t like an audience or what. “Shit. I really have to go. Sorry. Will you be okay?”

  “I will be fine. Don’t apologize. Go,” I assured him. He was acting weird, as if I were inclined to be clingy. Or he was getting clingy. I really hope not. Actually, I found it kind of hot. I stared after him as he strode to the door and disappeared out of it.

  “I love it when he stays, but I love to see that man walk away,” I murmured to no one in particular.

  “You are disgusting, did you know that?”

  I nodded. “Come to think of it, Devon, I think I did know that.”

  “What happened to that sweet little girl I grew up with?”

  “Uh, I am pretty sure your little brother corrupted her. Now she is an insatiable perv,” I informed him with a laugh.

  Eric came back through the door to the table. “Sorry, I forgot to leave you money so you could pay.” He dug in his pocket, withdrew his wallet, and handed me a crisp fifty. “Okay, this time I really am going.” Before he left, he gave me a deep, longing look. “Mayne?”

  I stood up. Something was wrong, but before I could ask, he took me into his arms and held me close. His warmth all around me he sighed reluctantly. Just as suddenly, he released me. Then he was out the door again and gone.

  “Dude is weird.”

  I nodded in agreement as I sat back. “Yeah, but he is so damn sexy. Have you seen his ass?”

  “Hell no. And if you ask me shit like that I will never talk to you again.”

  I laughed. “Fine. You are no fun.”

  I set the money down, folded my hands, and faced Devon seriously. It was time to get down to business. “So, tell me. What do you think of him? Did you like him?”

  Devon groaned and leaned back against his chair. “He is kind of, I don’t know. Does it really matter what I think? Either way you are still going to be having monkey sex with him, so what does it even matter?”

  “Don’t be chicken shit and try to cop out. Answer the question,” I taunted him.

  “It is kind of strange. I can’t put my finger on it. I can’t decide what to make of him. He’s a little too . . . serious. Like for you. Especially for you. He seems like he follows the rules to the letter and punctuation. I don’t see how you two are going to last long. I mean, once you get over the sex, what do you have in common?”

  Fuck you. That is what I wanted to say, but, hell, he was right. Shit. What did we have in common? We loved each other. Right? I think we did, but that could just be the sex . . . no, I was sure I loved him because it was even before the sex. For some reason, as different as we were, we did fit. We did work.

  “We both have a heavy sense of honor and duty and if you laugh at that, Devon, I swear I will punch you so hard in your nose. I swear . . .” I noticed Devon was no longer listening because he was too busy glaring at whoever just walked in.

  I swiveled in my seat to see who it was. Tammy and Michael. They spotted us and offered a wave and a smile. I waved back, but Devon just sat there scowling.

  “You really need to chill out with this Tammy thing. She likes Michael, so back up and back off,” I scolded him.

  “This is really none of your business and does not concern you, so I’d appreciate it if you’d not try and tell me what to do. Or tell me who I can and cannot sleep with.” His voice was cold and he didn’t even bother looking at me when he spoke.

  “Devon, just—”

  “Mayne!” His head whipped my way, the anger very clear on his face. “I just told you to shut the hell up about it. Do not make me tell you again.”

  “Dude, chill out! She’s my friend and I don’t want you to hurt her. You can’t treat her like your other girls. You can’t just use her up one night then throw her out and never see her again. This girl is sweet and it would hurt her and it would ruin my friendship with her. Can you please just drop it?”

  Devon laughed and shook his head. “You are really unbelievable. A real piece of self-centered work. Does it ever occur to you that other people are living their own lives right alongside you on this planet, or are we all just little props and supporting cast to you?”

  I gulped. I had no idea what was happening. Devon had never spoken to me this way. He’d always been there to pick me up and support me. Was he right? I wanted to bury my face in my hands and cry, or sob into the table. But this time I would not cry in front of Devon. If he wanted to change the way he spoke to me, I would change the way I responded to him. I wouldn’t cry, not today and not ever again. It hurt like hell.

  “Screw you, Devon. Keep acting like a complete jerk today, why don’t you? Don’t pretend I’m not right. You sleep with girl after girl, night after night, but never the same girl twice. I don’t want that for Tammy. That isn’t healthy, just in case you didn’t know.”

  “Yes, and catching hepatitis from the tattoo voodoo cult member is the epitome of health, right? I seriously think he has freaking brainwashed you. You have become someone I don’t even know. I mean, you have always been selfish, but now you are just being stupid.”

  “I have not been selfish!”

  “We both lost our parents, we both lost our brothers, and I lost my best friend, too. We have both lost enough people, but when you go to self-wallowing you seem to forget that. Don’t you think I’m afraid, too? That I will get close to someone else and she would die too? I broke up with your sister because I was too afraid I’d have to lose her. Did you even know we dated? No! Because you were too busy thinking the sun revolves around you.”

  I choked back my building tears. So that was why Rebecca moved away. I never understood, but then again Devon was right, I never did ask. I never even knew they dated. I was . . . I couldn’t even form thoughts, my mind kept whispering Devon was right. How could I argue with the truth? I was about to push away my resolve not to cry and bawl my eyes out and beg Devon for forgiveness. Why had he put up with me all these years, if I was so horrible? Because he loved me, and I was his best friend’s little sister. And I was the love of his little brother’s life. Was that all? And now had he had enough of my whining? Would Eric get tired of me too?

  Someone put a hand on my slumping shoulders. “I think you need to cool it and take a few breaths, man. Put yourself on a little time out. You are yelling at your best friend who so happens to be a woman. You are a grown man, you should know better. It’s uncool to yell at a woman.” Michael. He must have heard us arguing. I guess we had gotten pretty loud.

  My face burned along with my eyes. Could things get any more embarrassing? I don’t think I’d ever want to show my face in this place again. It fit: Devon and my favorite eatery gone just like our friendship.

  “You really need to just worry about getting into one woman’s pants at a time,” Devon replied snidely. “I was not yelling at anyone, and if I was, it does not concern you. Mayne has a mouth, she can defend herself.”

  “Not when you are sitting here bullying her she can’t.”

  “Michael, I’m okay. Go enjoy your meal with Tammy.” I said the last part with a pointed look at Devon.

  Michael squeezed my shoulders then left.

  “Devon, fine. I get it. I’m a bad, horrible, and selfish friend, but what the heck is your problem? Michael is your friend. This can’t just be about Tammy and jealousy.”

  “What do you want to hear? That this is about you? Of course you do, right?”

  That did it. Tears sprang from my eyes in a steady stream. “Shit,” I hissed, as the first tears splashed through my eyelashes, and I wiped at them vigorously.

  Devon’s face softened and his eyes flared with guilt as the tears dripped to my cheeks. The damage he had done evident on my fingers as I tried to hide that I was crying. “Oh my god, Mayne, I’m sorry. Don’t—”

  My phone rang its ridiculous r
ingtone, interrupting Devon’s words. I didn’t care anyway. I didn’t want to hear anything he had to say. He had hurt me too bad. Later, I would mourn what we had and the ending, but right now, I was crying in public and I needed to focus on stopping. That meant answering my phone and ignoring the ache where the hole in my heart was.

  “Yes,” I snapped into the phone more forcefully than I intended.

  A soft little sniffle on the other end. “Auntie Mayne?”

  “Anya? Is that you?” I asked, confused.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  She sounded as if she had been crying or she still was. My spine snapped up straight. Something was wrong. My wide eyes looked into Devon’s. He leaned forward.

  “What’s the matter?”

  Pissed off again, I waved his words away remembering that we were no longer the same as we had been before. I turned my back on him. I had to support myself now. I had to be there for my niece, Anya.

  “Anya, what’s the matter? Why are you crying, doll face?” It’s what I always called her on the very rare times I did see her. Devon was right. I was selfish. That’s why it hurt me so bad, because it was true.

  “Mommy used to tell us how you couldn’t be around us because you were too sad since Uncle Brian and Uncle Dante died. So I know you’d understand. I need you, Auntie.”

  I don’t know when I stood up, but I had. I grabbed my purse and pushed the money Eric left toward Devon. Anya needed me. Had Becca been hurt?

  “Doll face, I’m on my way. Is everyone okay?”

  “My school bus crashed today, Auntie. I was sick and Mom wouldn’t let me go to school. Everyone . . . everyone died. My friends—” She burst into a new round of fresh tears.

  “I will be there tonight, Anya.” I hung up the phone and charged down the street to my apartment.

  Chapter 17

  As I was walking home, so many thoughts darted through my mind. I fought unsuccessfully, not to dwell on what the hell had just happened. First, Devon attacked Eric, and then me. Why? Okay, so he might have been right about me being somewhat self-absorbed, but I so did not deserve that. And now here I was worrying about what he had said when I needed to worry about my niece. I shook my head as if too shake away what happened this afternoon at brunch.