Death Knows My Name (Memory Keepers)

by Narome, Casse

  “Is that your not so nice way of saying I need to drop it?”

  “Exactly.”

  She nodded. “That’s what Devon said. Only less mean.”

  I smiled. “Why do you ask anyway? Just nosy?”

  “No.” She laughed. “It’s just, I thought he liked me but he completely shut down on me. Did you know that one night he kept me company when Michael was late and we totally forgot Michael was showing up? So when he just acts like he barely remembers my name lately . . . I know that you really didn’t like the idea of us flirting and obviously he listened after you stormed out during the fight. So I thought that maybe, you two might be . . .” She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

  “Oh my God, Tamera, are you having a stroke? Should I call you an ambulance? Though I should warn you, they charge you ridiculously for it.”

  “Mayne! You know what I mean.” She half squealed, half whined.

  I laughed. “Yes and it’s silly! I slept with his brother. He slept with my sister.”

  “So you are going to tell me it never crossed your mind?” She quizzed.

  “Fine! Yes. There was this one tiny kiss. There! Happy?”

  Tammy screamed excitedly. “Oh my God, I knew it. Spill.”

  “It was nothing. Right after Dante’s funeral, we were both mourning. There were tears. There was snot. It was heartbreaking and not sexy or romantic at all and it went no further. We felt immensely gross and guilty afterward. It meant nothing. I think we were trying to stop the pain or something. It was completely stupid. The end. Besides, I thought you were jonesing for Michael. What, now you want Devon, too?”

  I hoped the anger I was beginning to feel rise inside me hadn’t tinged the edges of my question. I don’t know why I even cared if she was thinking of two timing Devon. I just didn’t want him to hurt anymore. See, how could he call me selfish when here I was, pissed off and calling off our friendship yet still worrying about him.

  Tammy sighed. “Um, Michael and I don’t work.”

  “You slept with him, didn’t you?”

  She nodded and now it was my turn to get excited. I sat up on the edge of my seat and Big Jim huffed.

  “Oh, you dirty little slut. Tell me!” I demanded giddily.

  “I’m not saying that it wasn’t, you know, good. Because it was. It just lacked something. It didn’t have that fizzle, fizzle, pop, pop.”

  “Tammy, you want to have sex with an Alka-Seltzer tablet? Really?”

  “Shut up. That was plop, plop, fizz, fizz, dork.”

  I shrugged. “Okay, Devon and I have been through a lot. We have always been so similar and yet we respond to the same thing in the complete opposite way. Maybe we can be described as different sides, same damn coin. We handle things differently. Both ways are screwed up. Tammy, if you are looking to commit with a guy, that guy is not Devon. He’ll leave you hanging emotionally every time. I have never seen him stick to one woman longer than between the hours of midnight to 6 a.m., if that. He does shell out for cab fare though. Don’t get me wrong, he is a sweet guy and devoted to those he loves. He doesn’t love very many, so when he loves someone it’s like the sky opened up and you are close to the sun. I think that makes it all the worse because who doesn’t want that from a guy? But He’ll never give it. It’s a shame because, you know, if you were the one for him, it would be golden. I mean, to have a guy like him, a guy whose love is like the sun falling from the sky just to revolve around you. It’s scary as hell and it’s exciting as hell at the same time. But the sun will never do that, will it? It seems impossible, but when he smiles at you I know what you are thinking . . . what if it did, for you?”

  Tammy took a deep, shaky breath, her eyes wide. “Damn. You are like his hype woman. Now I really want him. Why won’t he let anyone in?”

  “He doesn’t want to risk losing them. Not to get all geeky on you, but do you know what would happen if the earth no longer had the sun to hold it in its orbit? It would be all over the place and reckless, crashing into everything. Now imagine something as powerful as the sun being that reckless. What if our sun went rogue and started colliding into shit, setting fire to everything it came in contact with, bringing everything and everyone still caught in its gravitational pull with it.”

  My eyes blazed with murder as I glared. “That said, I must warn you. If by chance, Devon does fall out of the sky and you hurt him, I will make you regret every second of the rest of your life. I promise you.”

  “Woah, you can get downright ferocious!”

  I smiled, breaking the murderous intent of my words. “Thank you. Practicing in front of the mirror helps.”

  “Is that what you had? The sun. Revolving around you?” Tammy’s voice cracked as she asked softly.

  “Yeah. I did. It was funny because it felt like everything and everyone was caught in Dante’s pull, but from the moment he laid eyes on me, I never once had to worry about him being untrue. Everyone else orbited him and yet he circled me.” I smiled and added, “Odd, that the sun would orbit a rock.”

  I relaxed in my chair. “But now I know that having that type of love is not healthy because both people lose themselves to it. I don’t even need or want that. I just want someone who can see how wrong I am but dare anyone to lift a finger to call me on it. I want to know that right or wrong, good or bad, when I turn around he is there.” My heart fluttered because, damn, I already found that. I found it in Eric without even looking.

  “Dang it, Mayne! I want that, too. Can’t I have both?”

  “Nope. You have no idea what you want.” I laughed. “But if you really want Devon, he is like his brother. You absorb one another until there is nothing left separate of either one of you. I’d much rather have something different—two people stronger because you found and have each other.”

  “Wow. Lucky you.”

  “Why lucky me?” I asked, puzzled. That was a new one. Nobody ever considered me lucky before.

  “Because you’ve had both. Dante worshiped you! And this new guy, because I know you are talking about Mr. Tattoo, let’s be real, he covets you.”

  “Yeah, I’m all that, huh?”

  We both laughed. Big Jim lifted his head, licked his lips, and snorted his irritation, which only caused us to laugh harder.

  Tammy stood. “I know you are still pissed at Devon for whatever reason, but Michael, Devon, and I are going to the bar, do you want to join us?”

  “Sure.” I paused. “Wait, Devon and Michael are speaking?”

  Tammy nodded. “Devon apologized the night you left. I guess jelly isn’t as pigheaded as peanut butter.”

  “If you’re going to start talking about sandwiches again I’m going to need to eat because food talk makes me hungry,” I teased.

  “I’m serious. He looks like shit. He is taking your fight hard. Even you said it, he is devoted to those he loves and I only know of one person he has in his life—you. So without you, what does he have? You’re his lifeline.”

  “He has his skanks, no offense.” I peeked at her.

  “Mayne!”

  “What, he deserves it,” I vowed. But so did I, right? He was right; I was selfish. The truth hurt, but so what? He had been really mean to me. “I will try to be nice. Can Eric come?”

  She hesitated. “I don’t know, the guys don’t seem to like him.”

  “They don’t know him!” I wasn’t even sure if Eric wanted to or would go, but the fact that he wasn’t wanted there stung and pissed me off. “I might show up. We’ll see.” I pouted. “I have to call my sister so I will talk to you later.” I dismissed Tammy, fully aware of my rudeness, but too pissed to care.

  She ignored my bad behavior. “Can I borrow your Valencia skirt?”

  “Sure, but I think it is going to be too long. Why?”

  “Duh,
haven’t you been paying attention? I am going to try and capture the sun.”

  “And my skirt is your net?”

  “Yup.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Careful, girl, the sun gets pretty damn hot and can burn the shit out of you.”

  When I hung up with my sister, who was surprised that I had actually called, I laughed as I defended myself by stating that I wasn’t that bad. I turned from where the phone sat and saw Eric standing there. Instantly a smile took over my face. It seemed like forever since we had been together. He must have felt the same way because he opened his arms.

  “Get over here.” His voice sounded low and gruff with desire.

  Without even knowing or remembering how I got there, I was in Eric’s arms and he was closing them tightly around me. He dipped his head down until his lips were close enough to my ear that I could feel his breath. It was warm, but I still shivered as it caressed my skin.

  “Hold on,” he whispered and my shiver turned to electrical spikes low in my body. What this man, I mean, Angel, could do to me. I slid my arms tight around his waist and he pulled me tighter into him.

  The air went hot around us. It was the same unpleasant heat as it had been before on our last trip. I shut my eyes tight and tried to ignore the icy hot hands that tried and threatened to take me from Eric’s grip.

  As quick as the heat had come, it was gone, and sweet air breezed over my skin, drawing goose bumps from my arms. I stepped away from Eric and turned my head to take in the view of lush yet over grown trees and three babbling streams. The sun shimmered white-yellow light off the standing waters. Orange flowers with their larger petals opened toward the sun crowded the banks and released a sweet fragrance in air. Eric’s hands rested lightly on my hips, keeping me anchored to where I stood.

  “Oh wow. This is amazing. Eric, what is this place?” My voice sounded airy and I couldn’t catch my breath. A loud melodious bird chirped its unique song in the distance, and I tried to find it in the branches. I yearned to see what beautiful colors the feathers were.

  “This, is God’s love note to man. It’s a shame that it’s now forbidden for man to be here to see it.” His sadness sounded genuine.

  I turned to him in surprise. “Is this Eden? Oh my God, it is isn’t it?” I didn’t wait for the answer as I turned back toward the lush and overgrown garden. Unshed tears stung my eyes even though I didn’t know why as I took in all the floral arrangements that were so lovely yet neglected.

  Eric stepped close behind me his chest against my back.

  “It’s beautiful, isn’t it? God poured his love over this land and then he created someone he thought worthy of it.” He paused. “I cannot do such a gesture, but if I could there wouldn’t be enough Edens in the world to compare to the amount of love I have for you. The day I found you it was like I found my own Eden.”

  My heart thumped heavily in my chest as he continued. “I love you, Mayne.”

  I cried. Can you believe it! My fingers wiped away my tears, embarrassed. “Oh my God, why am I crying?” I sniffled. “Please ignore me for a second.”

  I was overwhelmed by, well, everything. Overwhelmed by Eden, by my emotions, and most of all Eric! I realized right then that I felt like a rock again. Only this time instead of the sun loving me, it was the universe. It was strong and beautiful enough to contain all the worlds beauty but willing to fold in on itself to be with me.

  “No.” That was all he said. I didn’t know what he meant, yet I didn’t ask and he didn’t offer an explanation.

  I decided to distract myself and change the subject.

  “I hate Eve sometimes.”

  Eric laughed. “Adam’s Eve?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. I mean, she gave all this up for a fig?” I scrunched my face up as the wind whipped around us, drying my abandoned tears. “Figs aren’t even that good. In fact, I refuse to eat them out of principle.”

  “Figs,” he said. “You don’t believe it was an apple?” Shock and amusement lit his eyes.

  “Figs just make more logical sense. You know, with the time period and— what?” I asked, noticing that Eric was chuckling.

  “Nothing. Do you want to see if you are correct?” he asked.

  “Am I allowed?” My eyes widened in hope.

  He shrugged. “The rules only say that you aren’t to step foot in Eden. It says nothing about being carried.” He stepped toward me, wrapping his arms around me.

  I held my breath in excited and anxious anticipation.

  “Death.” A voice barked from behind me and I whirled around, stepping from Eric’s embrace in shocked fright.

  Valience.

  Eric put himself between me and the intruding male. He swept me behind him protectively.

  Did Eric really think Valience was that big of a threat to me? I looked into Valience’s face.

  More specifically, I looked into his eyes. A terrified chill raked my body, causing Eric to stiffen in response, it seemed.

  “Angel.” Eric’s voice was terse with restrained anger. “Explain your presence.”

  “No, you explaining hers would be the better choice.” Valience’s eyes remained cold, and he radiated hatred.

  “Angel, you test me. In this test you do not fare well if I do fail.” Eric’s voice was slow and measured.

  My eyes narrowed in confusion at Eric’s words. What were they talking about? I looked back and forth between the two. Valience was the first to break. His face crumpled in what looked to me like defeat, fear, and resolution.

  “Ectain, what are you doing?” His voice was hoarse with what I guessed to be hurt and disappointment. Was Valience, um, in love with Eric? Where was this sense of betrayal I was getting from him coming from?

  “Stop thinking for a second, please. It is very distracting and ridiculous,” Eric whispered, exasperated.

  “Oh. Sorry,” I whispered back, my cheeks heating. Oops. This really is going to take some getting used to.

  “You can read her every thought and not just emotion-driven ones?” Valience spat as if the idea left a bad taste in his mouth.

  “Valience, what I can and cannot do does not concern you.”

  “I hope you know what you are doing, Death. If not, I hope she is worth it.”

  “Once again, Angel, that does not concern you.”

  “Does it not? Do you not toy with the balance of the truce? Do you not—”

  Valience was interrupted by a deep angry growl from Eric. Before my eyes, Eric seemed to grow, not just in body mass but in the sheer weight of his presence. In response, Valience’s wings flung out. They were so horrible yet they were also achingly beautiful.

  My heart pounded against my chest at the sight of them. I knew he was an Angel, but knowing and seeing are two completely different things.

  Movement from a shadowy figure caught my eye, and then it was more than one. They were pressed in a circle all around us as if preparing to watch an epic battle. The icy heat radiating from them filled me with terror. Sweat beaded on my skin. One bead made a cold track down the side of my face. Then another slid down to the dip of my top lip and pooled there. I tried not to look at the shapes, not to feel them, but the more I tried the more it didn’t work and the more I saw. The trees no longer looked like trees because trees weren’t alive the way they were now. These trees seemed to quiver as if they were taking in halting breaths. The leaves pulsed with rhythm and even the ground under my feet seemed to vibrate with life. The ground beneath Valience’s feet cried out to me.

  “My brother, my brother has slain me with his hands. My brother, my brother—”

  A squeak escaped my lips as I took a stumbling step back. Both men’s eyes cut to look at me as if just then remembering I was still there.

  “Shit,” Eric hissed. “Mayne, turn around. V
alience, retract your wings now!”

  Valience audibly gulp in air. “I’m sorry. I forgot she, I forgot that she does have . . . Sorry.”

  I could feel Eric shrinking down beside me as I turned around and shut my eyes for good measure. I tried to calm my heart beat. What were they? I then turned my thoughts from them in case Eric was picking up on my thoughts. I counted backward from twenty.

  20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15—

  “Are you okay?” It was Eric and his voice sounded thin, as if it were traveling a long way to reach me.

  I nodded. “I . . . yes. I’m fine.”

  He turned me back around to face him.

  “Open your eyes and look at me.” He still sounded far away even though his hands were still on my waist.

  I peeked open my eyes and asked, “What was that?”

  He looked hesitant. “What did you see?”

  “The world, it seemed to, I don’t know, tilt. Does that make sense?” My voice was shakier than I wanted it to be. I sucked in a deep breath and checked around just to make sure everything was as it should have been again.

  He nodded, the relief so prominent on his face that I knew I was right when I decided that I didn’t want to mention the things I saw, the creatures and the ground calling out in betrayal. The creatures were gone now. I don’t know what they were or why I had seen them. Had Eric or Valience spotted the monsters, too? What were they? I knew it was what Eric was worried about and before he could read my thoughts, I buried them.

  “I am so sorry.” Valience tried to come over to me as he spoke but Eric shot him a wilting look and Valience froze.

  “Are you sure you didn’t see anything?” Valience tried once more. He appeared more afraid than concerned at what the answer to his question might be.

  “I’m fine,” I replied a little too harshly. “Go away.” I didn’t look at him. I don’t know why but I couldn’t. I wanted him as far away as possible. He did go away. Just like that, he was gone.