Hidden Light

by Nikki Bolvair

  I sighed once more. In the next breath, I was shimmed out of my room and into Hooks’ empty classroom. This time, he was the one who summoned me.

  “What in the world?” I screeched as I popped down in the seat I had abandoned the last time I was in this room. Hooks sat in the same spot, waiting. I glared at him. “Why?”

  “I need you.”

  I groaned. “Not you, too!”

  He chuckled. “No. Not like that.”

  I glared at him. “I have questions.”

  He nodded. “And I have answers…”

  “Why could no one else see you in the hospital when I was sick?”

  “Because I projected myself there. You were the only one who could see me.”

  Squinting at him, I demanded, “And how did you know I needed the vaccine?”

  “I know a lot of things.” Lips pursed, he leaned forward, eyes intent on mine. “Carly, I helped you. Now I need you to do something for me.”

  Chapter Ten

  I shot up from the couch to the sound of a quiet argument. I’d been reading a magazine.

  “Honey, it’s been a full day already, and she doesn't have a mark. My boys have been given another chance. They’ve been so focused on Carly that they actually think she’s the one.”

  “Is that so bad, Kenneth? Would it be so disastrous for you if they let their hearts decide? What about me? What about us?”

  “Honey, baby, this isn't about you and me. I love you, with or without a mark. You’re my rock, my home.”

  “My rock, my home, Kenneth, is with my child who is suffering. Why can’t you see that your boys have already fallen hard despite your efforts to keep them apart?”

  “You know the reason.”

  “And that reason is gone because now she's one of you!” my mom cried.

  I eased nearer to the doorway and peeped inside as my mom’s cries muffled. Kenneth held her to his chest, comforting her. “It’s because she is one of us that the possibility of being with her relies on the mark. And, honey, because she's Lydent, she's considered my daughter as much as the boys are my sons. The mark never matches within families. My boys don’t have a chance.”

  Tears stung my eyes as the organ that kept life pumping through my veins twisted in my chest. I was causing trouble.

  “I’ve asked for the warrior program to assign them on a mission in Falls.”

  I was an issue. A problem. Shredded and torn, I gripped my chest. I could never have what I wanted.

  I rested my back against the wall and listened as the crying stopped. The sound of feet shuffling upstairs signaled Kenneth taking Mom up to their bedroom.

  I slid down until my knees came to my chest and buried my head in my hands. I couldn’t stay before, and I couldn’t stay now.

  Always unwanted.

  Footsteps came down the stairs. I tensed as a sob escaped.

  “Carly?”

  My tear-stained eyes shot to Kenneth’s, and he paused on the last step. “You know, I needed a dad. One who cared. One who would listen.”

  “Carly, I never—”

  “Stop!” I cried, putting up a hand. “Do you ever just listen? My dad never did.” A broken laugh escaped me. “Apparently you don't either. I know better now. I got the short stick. Or should I say sticks? Your sons don’t have to leave. I know when to go.”

  “Carly—”

  “No, Kenneth. It’s too late. You want me gone? You got it.” Then, I shimmed away.

  ***

  Upset and not sure where to go, I shimmed into Hooks’ classroom. I wasn’t sure why, but I thought he might take a gander at my problems since he'd been helpful before when I asked about my mark.

  My second option for help was the Council. I didn't want to be around Kenneth or my mother, even though she claimed I was her first priority. I didn’t think she should leave her husbands. But the council might give me some options. Find me a different place to stay. Somewhere I wouldn’t see the guys all the time or force them to leave. Even if they did leave, they’d be back.

  As I stood in Hooks’ classroom, I realized the lights were off and the scent of peppermint I associated with Hooks wasn’t present. Maybe I shimmed to the wrong place. Something...something felt off about the space. Something that made me pause.

  I flicked my fingers, and light flooded the room. The classroom, once full of empty desks, now stood bare. I twisted around to where Hooks usually sat at a computer, and found an empty dust mark on the floor where the desk used to be.

  Hooks was gone.

  He’d been here, but where was he now?

  A lone piece of paper tacked to the wall fluttered when the air kicked on. I walked over and tore it down.

  It was a picture of the woman I’d drawn for him at our first meeting, but this drawing was different. The woman was clearly in a hospital. Dark, pencil-shaded circles etched under her lids, her complexion paper white. A man sat by her side, his back to the drawing as he held the woman’s frail hand, head bowed. The picture gave the impression that the woman...she was...dying.

  My hand trembled as I held on. I drew this. But I didn’t remember ever doing it. How could I have? I hadn’t seen him since I was sick.

  The classroom door opened. I twisted around.

  “No one’s supposed to be—Carly?” Naylor came in further, leaving the door open behind him as confusion flashed across his face. “What are you doing in here?”

  A flicker of irritation and impatience flashed through me. I stepped toward him, determined to find answers. “Where is he, Naylor?”

  His eyes raked appreciatively over me before finding my gaze once again. “Who?”

  “Hooks,” I growled, my spine stiffening with indignation. “Enough games. Where is he? Did they move the history center to another place?”

  A chill crawled down my spine as his eyes fixed on me. “Carly, no one has used this room before. And there’s no one here by that name.” He cautiously stepped forward once again. “And history… Lydent history and index information are located at the council home base in Woods Canyon. I’m not sure how you were able to get in here, or what you saw—”

  My lips pursed. “It was real. I have the paper to prove it.”

  I walked over and handed him the drawing. He slowly took it from me, but his eyes never strayed from mine. His voice softened. “Your family, they’re looking for you.”

  “How about Jamison? Do you know him? He knows Hooks.”

  “We have a few Lydent boys by that name.”

  “He was a teen, maybe sixteen? Seventeen?”

  He nodded. “We could ask around.”

  I paused. He was being too compliant. Not his usual self. My hackles rose. “You notified them, didn’t you? Kenneth and the others?”

  A shadow of dismay crossed his face, and he covered it with a ghost of a smile. “You really are quite beautiful.”

  I growled.

  His hand reached out to touch my face. I jerked away.

  “You're upset, love,” he said with a brief tilt of his head.

  Anger and nerves shook my voice. “I’m so done with this conversation.”

  “Wait!”

  He wasn’t fast enough to stop me before I shimmed.

  Chapter Eleven

  I shimmed to the council. If they wanted to find me, here I was. When I shimmed inside the council room, they were in the middle of a meeting. I closed my eyes, groaning. How embarrassing!

  Opening them back up, I saw Patrick, Myra, Saul, and Gaston were there along with three other people. The conversation stopped, and all faces swung to me.

  “So sorry!” I squeaked, ready to shim back out.

  “Carly, wait!” Patrick called, getting up out of his chair.

  “Is this her?” one man asked, his gaze raking over my form. “Is this the new Lydent woman?” He flashed a smile.

  “Ah.” The other man took me in, his lips curling in amusement. “Seems like there’s trouble in paradise.”

  Patrick’s
face darkened. “Carly is my daughter,” he warned as he came my way. “I suggest you choose your words carefully.”

  Even though I was still embarrassed, a flower of warmth bloomed in my chest where my heart had been torn apart. Patrick reached me and shimmed us outside the council room doors.

  His eyes narrowed as he searched my face. “They can do without me for the moment. We’ve been looking for you. Where have you been? You should be sleeping or resting at least,” he said, trying to soothe my obvious distress. “Where's your mom and Kenneth? Did Henry come with you?”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  I started to doubt whether this was a good idea. Maybe I shouldn't have come to him, even though Mom said he had taken my side. Nerves filled me that maybe he wouldn't see reason or wouldn't help.

  I twisted my fingers, my heart hanging out in the wind. “Patrick, you know about how Kenneth kept the guys and me apart on purpose, right?”

  He nodded, his brow crinkling in confusion at the turn in conversation. “To some degree, I understood why. But I was never happy with him talking to you about it before us.”

  A frown creased my forehead. “You understood?”

  He lifted his hand then let it fall against his thigh. “Yes, Carly. I understood. It wasn’t easy seeing you and the boys growing closer each day when your mom and Kenneth got together. And at the same time, your mom and me. It wasn’t easy to introduce her into our life. Hell,” he dragged his hand through his hair. “Our lifestyle. None of us knew what to do when we saw the signs that you were growing closer than siblings. Kenneth only did what he thought was right without talking to us first.”

  “And now he’s sending them away.”

  He sighed. “It’s not like that.”

  I stiffened and sent him a glare. “It’s exactly like that. I overheard Mom and Kenneth talking. Don't do that.” My gaze softened and shoulders dropped. “Let them stay.” Even though my heart was breaking, I said it again. “They need to stay. I’ll go.”

  His eyes widened. “No, Carly. There are only four Lydent females here, and you're one of them. If you leave…” he trailed off. “It's best if they go.”

  I snorted and started pacing. “That's the point! I don’t belong here. At one time, sure. But not now.”

  “You’re wrong.”

  Stopping, I whipped around, my eyes blazing. “And so are you. All you care about is having another Lydent female here.” I threw a hand up in the air and gestured to the council room doors. “I’m needed. Not welcomed.”

  Patrick must have realized I was at a breaking point because he came over to me. His arms folded around my body. “You are welcome in our lives, Carly. Kenneth is just a hard man.”

  “I don't belong,” I mumbled against his shirt. “I can't stay. They're going to come back, Patrick. I'm going to see them, and those same feelings are going to come back.”

  He pulled back and wiped a tear from my face. “You’re talking about my boys.”

  I nodded. “Not only them, though.”

  He sighed. “The whole bond group.”

  “Yeah. You see why sending Zander and Hale away only solves part of the problem? I don't know what it is, I just feel something with them. I need to be the one who goes. Please,” I pleaded, my eyes begging him.

  He nodded. “And you can't go home to the valley?”

  I drew my eyebrows together in a frown. “I don’t want to go there. My father wasn’t ever a help. Everything I’ve ever done has been on my own.”

  His shoulders dropped. “How has it come to this? You don't even have your mark yet.”

  My brows lifted. “So, are you going to help me? What if my mark is late, but it’s not the one?” I asked him, feeling guilty. “What if I was matched with another group here? Maybe an older group? Or a younger group who are still kids?” I could see I was getting to him. “Patrick, I'm not ready for a relationship while I’m getting over a broken heart. I can't love a new group right now. I can't be that way with them. And it's going to hurt me, even more, to watch Zander and Hale, or Baxter and Colton find their own wives.”

  “I know my sons, and I know they will find a way around this. We’re all worried about you and them. It wasn’t like this with their mother. We were never matched with anybody, but Laney knew what she wanted. She and her bond mates were a strong family unit. Not only was our race becoming extinct, but we fought wars against the Wolvens.”

  I folded my arms. “Who are they?”

  “It's hard to explain. We’re not the only different race here. There was a time of unrest between the two races, and Laney and her husbands were all about defending our people, who were already an endangered race. Her bond group fought with the Warriors, and there was a bomb. She lost all of them. My brothers and I were very close friends with them. After their deaths, we took care of her. When bond mates are meant to be together, their bond is indestructible. We were fond of Laney, but we love your mother. If she left, it would destroy us. Despite not having a mark, she’s ours. If you have any idea of how that feels and if that’s what you're feeling, then I understand. It was never our intention to let love grow between the five of you. Baxter's family would be thrilled. So would Colten's, as would I. And there was a point we thought you might end up together, but things changed.”

  “How?” I asked, moving away.

  “I’m sorry, Carly. My sons have another chance at a mate.”

  A tremor of fear stole my body. “You’re serious? What does that mean?” He didn’t answer my question. “Patrick, what do you mean they have a chance at another mate?”

  “They found—”

  “A mate? They have one?” I breathed, not quite believing it.

  “It’s a chance, Carly.” He shook his head. “It was all so sudden. They didn’t know what to think. We didn’t...We never expected this, but it happened. I thought things would be different, but now I’m not sure.”

  “You thought things would be different?” I scoffed. “Well, so did I.”

  Not waiting another moment, I shimmed away into the foyer of the council house and gasped, trying to catch the breath that had been stolen from me. The guys—my guys—had a chance at another mate. My heart twisted in my chest. Tear it out and throw me in a casket. It hurt too much. I couldn’t have them, and someone else would. I could have dealt with not having them and them being alone. I know, selfish of me. But for them to find a mate, someone they could love, was too much for me. I needed to get a grip. I had to think.

  I leaned against the wall, trying to compose myself, when an old woman rushed over to me. The same one who greeted me when I first came to the council. Worry lines etched her face as she touched my arm gently. "Honey, are you okay?" A sob finally tore out of my throat as I collapsed into her arms. She patted my back like I was baby. "It's okay. It's okay. Nothing can be that bad, child."

  I hugged her tight and let my troubles fall from my lips. "Kenneth hates me because I'm in love with his sons, and they are with me. I couldn't be with them before and not now either," I cried in despair. "My body still hurts. It hurts on the inside. My own dad doesn't care about me, and neither do my mom's husbands. The only one who does is my mom. She’s willing to give up her home and husbands to defend me and what she thinks is right, but I can’t do that to her. They adore her, and she needs them. My whole life changed because of the light. Because I stupidly thought I had a chance. Now all I have is guys I don't even like chasing after me and a man I want to find who seems to be a ghost. What should I do? What can I do?”

  She sighed while she rocked me. "Ah, child, rarely does life give us what we want. But when something good comes along, we need to hold onto it or let it go. I know your plight. It's not easy being a Lydent female. But there are certain exceptions." She pulled back, wiped my tears away, and peered into my eyes with a kind smile. "I should know." She patted my face. "We girls have to stick together. And Myra being my daughter, we've learned a few things along the way."

  I wiped m
y damp cheeks. "You're Naylor's grandmother?"

  She nodded. "Yes, and while I wish you could mate with him, I understand."

  I gave a half-hearted sob. "I can't with the others, either."

  She took my hand and patted it. "And why not?"

  "Because my mark doesn't match theirs, and I'm not ready to find out who it does match to."

  "Okay, then." She nodded as she came to a decision. "Come with me."

  She shimmed us away to another room and left my side to pull a wooden box off her dresser. "I know a little bit about heartache and disappointments. Families don't always act how they should when they need to”

  I took the box in hand and stared at her in awe. "Why?"

  She patted my face. "Every Lydent man has his talents, but every Lydent woman has her secrets. Heal while you're gone. Think things through. After you've gone through every possible avenue of reason, come back and choose your fate. Don't let it be decided for you."

  I hesitated and then nodded. "I will."

  A pink hue of ribbons twisted between us. "Your word is a bond," she replied. "As is mine. Carly Gail Phillips, this is my promise. Shall you agree to take it, I will provide you solace in your time of heartache and trouble that you might follow the right path for your soul. Because when the body fades, the spirit stays. This is the wisdom I grant you, in the Spirit Whisperer's name. Lydent." She pulled away and smiled. "Heartache hurts. Give it some time. Shim someplace you know, then look inside the box. Be safe, heal, and remember when you're ready, make your way back home. I’ve put a blocker on your shim trail. You’re hidden. Now go, child.”

  I gripped the box to my chest and shimmed away to the only place I could think of; the Aquatic Center. Disappointment filled me to find it closed already. My car still sat in the empty parking lot; I was surprised it hadn’t been towed. I remembered what the old woman said, but I needed it for just a bit.

  Debating on what I should do, I finally decided I could quickly shim in and out without any trouble. My things were in the locker room where the business didn’t install security cameras.