Marcus (Heartbreakers & Troublemakers Book 5)

by Hope Hitchens

  I could tell her all this the next time I saw her. Things like this were probably best said face to face. It gave the person you asked a chance to slap you because you were being inappropriate.

  “I just wanted to ask you something. A favor,” I started.

  “What kind?” I sighed, relieved. She hadn’t told me to go fuck myself. Yet.

  “Jessie told me about the company you work for. I wanted to know whether there were any openings. Waiter jobs or something.”

  “You want a job?”

  “I want an interview. I can’t ask you to give me a job.”

  “Do you have experience?”

  “None.”

  “Do you have letters or anything from previous employers?”

  “The department of corrections doesn’t give out recommendations.” She sighed. The truth was depressing, I knew. It was mine. I didn’t want to lie to her about it.

  “The turnover on waiters is pretty high. We basically need them all the time. I can arrange an interview, but I can’t guarantee anything,” she said. “My boss is an equal opportunity employer, but you need to give a good reason why you should be employed.”

  “I can do that. Will you talk to her?”

  “I will,” she said. I waited for the condition. She wanted me to finish the work at her house for free, or she wanted me to, I don’t know, fix her tumble dryer or something. “Do you work on Saturdays?” she asked. There it was.

  “I can. You don’t want me to come in?”

  “Not if you don’t for other people. I don’t want you to do it for me if you don’t usually.” Oh. I was wrong. That wasn’t a condition. She just wanted information. The nursery would only take about two more work days. There were two days in the weekend. I could drag it out. I wanted to. Just come back on Monday, but Jonas Fielding and the terms of my probation didn’t care how much time I wanted to spend alone with Adina.

  “I do. I’m going to. Sunday too.”

  “I won’t be there Saturday afternoon. I have to work.”

  “Is that a problem?” I asked her. “Do you want me to leave when you do?”

  “Uh, can I tell you that when you come by? I sort of have to go.”

  “Sure. No problem. Thank you.”

  “I’ll tell you the details as soon as I talk to Helena.”

  I said bye to her. That was… nothing had happened. She said she’d do it. I was golden. All I had to do now was nail an interview. She hadn’t even asked me to do anything for her in return. I had been right. She was nice.

  Maybe I should leave her alone. I couldn’t fuck with her now. It would be like that really valuable old stuff that loses all it’s worth once you take it out of the original packaging. Maybe I would taint her. Dirty her up with my twenty-six years of bullshit.

  I could think it, but I knew that when it came down to it, I wasn’t a good enough guy to leave her alone.

  9

  Adina

  When Jared would call me, I’d get that thing in my gut that felt like really early stage fetal movement. Fluttering. I would get nervous, feel optimistic and sometimes, depending on what our last conversation had been like, a little scared.

  Now it was different. I had been hopeful then, a little stupid, really. Blind. When I’d speak to him, I was speaking to the man I loved, who loved me and who I would be sharing my life with.

  We were back on planet earth, however, and we were going to stay there. No more cute fantasies about impossible futures with people who didn’t want anything to do with me. I had a son to raise.

  Jared had called to tell me he wouldn’t be able to take Jaden until Saturday, again. I had to leave that afternoon because we were catering that night. Dropping Jaden off at his house on the way to work made sense with my schedule, but he wanted to come pick him up.

  If he really wanted to make that trip, then he could knock himself out, as long as he wasn’t late. I had Marcus coming over, so I had that to worry about. And to look forward to. That too. I’d wanted to cancel, but he had said he’d come in, and it was already Saturday, and the house would be empty, but that wasn’t that big a deal. Was it?

  Well… I could always call Sophie.

  The ring at the doorbell came as I stuffed a handful of diapers into Jaden’s bag. He was on the floor practicing his rollovers.

  I pulled it open.

  Jared was nowhere in sight.

  It was Janice.

  I had only seen her once before, but I recognized her. She had long, straight black hair, a tan like winter in New York hadn’t just broken and a low carb, Pilates body, thin and taut. If Jared had a type, it was hard to tell what looking at the two of us.

  “Can I help you?” I asked.

  “I’m here to pick Jaden up,” she said. Poor woman, she was confused. I admired her directness and the confidence she had, but not when it came to my son.

  “I’m not handing my son off to a stranger.”

  “Jared is down in the car. He knows I’m up here. I wanted to come, to talk to you.”

  “If he’s down there, send him up. I have nothing to say to you.”

  “Okay, here,” she said, pulling her phone out of her bag. I watched her call Jared and tell him to come up and the reason why she wasn’t back down with Jaden already. “He wants to talk to you,” she said holding the phone out to me.

  “He’s coming up here, we can talk then,” I said walking back into the house, leaving Janice on the doorstep.

  “Adina, I can’t ask you to accept me right now. I know that. I just hope that later you don’t still feel this way.”

  “Feel what way, Janice?” I asked whirling around. “You don’t know the first thing about me and how I feel. You and Jared are together? That’s great. Congratulations to you. There is only one thing I have in common with Jared now, and that is our son. You don’t need my acceptance. I don’t know what you want from me because I owe you nothing,” I said.

  Jared came up behind her then, maybe hearing the end of my speech. I didn’t really care. I turned to get Jaden’s bag off the sofa and handed it to him before he could say anything.

  “Here,” I said, going back to the living room to scoop Jaden off the blanket on the floor. “When it comes to our son, I deal with you. Not her. Not a sitter. You.”

  “She’s making an effort,” he said quietly.

  “You want me to clap for her? She’s your girlfriend. Not ours. We’re not friends and don’t have to be.”

  “Why do you have to make shit so hard, Addie?”

  “All this, everything that has happened up to right now; your fault,” I said.

  “Jared, let’s just go,” I heard her say.

  “No, we came here to talk to her. If she doesn’t want to, she can just listen,” he said.

  “What?”

  “I want Janice to adopt Jaden. We want her to be his legal parent.” The pause was short but loaded.

  “We?” I asked.

  “Janice and I were talking and-”

  “You decided your girlfriend was going to adopt my son without me?” I asked.

  “Don’t do this again, Adina. We’re telling you now.”

  I was angry at Jared. He had made me mad a lot during our relationship, but right then hearing what he had just said to me, I hated him. I thought he had done the worst thing. That he couldn’t break my heart anymore. Wrong again. What else was he going to do to me? What was left?

  “So, what? Have you talked to a lawyer already? A social worker?”

  “Great, there you go again,” he scoffed.

  “Why are you doing this to me, Jared?” I asked.

  “This isn’t about you. It’s about me. Everything has been about you this past year, Addie. I never wanted to come back. I never wanted to see a therapist. I was done a long time ago. We have a son, and you’ve used him to get to me since before he was born.”

  “Fuck you, Jared.”

  “Yeah. Fuck me. I’m the one who never tried? I’m the one who fucked up
? I did in the beginning, and you know what? You should have let me go,” he said loudly. “Janice, get the baby,” he said to her. I looked at her just registering that she’d been there the whole time. I backed away from her, holding Jaden close.

  “He’s your son, Jared. Come get him.” He looked at me, up and down.

  “Five days to two a week, that doesn’t sound like joint custody to me,” he said. “Keep him. I’ll call you to set up the mediation.” He turned and started walking towards the door.

  “Jared, wait. The what?”

  “You said it, Addie. He is my son.” He walked out. Janice walked out behind him pulling the door as she left. I felt like I was collapsing from the inside. I made a beeline for my room putting Jaden in his crib and turning on his mobile. It would fuck his schedule up, but I needed him somewhere safe. I exited the room and didn’t even get to the living room before I was clutching my chest, sobbing.

  Mediation? Custody? Adoption? No. No, no, no. He wasn’t that cruel. He wasn’t taking my baby. Would he say something so vile if he wasn’t serious? What else could he do to hurt me? I was sorry I’d even asked. Breaking up with me was just the beginning.

  I leaned against the wall. I couldn’t breathe. I covered my face with my hands.

  “Adina?”

  I looked up. Marcus was standing at the door. “Why was your door open? What’s going on?” I straightened up and turned away.

  “Nothing, everything’s fine,” I said drying my face.

  “Adina?”

  Don’t come closer, don’t come closer, don’t come closer.

  “You’re crying,” he said.

  “No, I’m- it’s nothing, really,” I said, my back still turned because he was making it worse. Why was I never alone when these things would happen?

  “Adina,” he said.

  “No, really,” I sniffed, turning to face him. “I think it’s the paint or something. I get really bad hay fever in the spring,” I said desperately. I was barely holding it together. I felt a tear run down my cheek. He held my shoulders. I was determined not to look. “Really, it’s nothing,” I said pathetically.

  “Come here,” he said. His arms closed around me and pulled me into him. My tears came in torrents. He held me to his chest in a way that trapped my arms between us, so I couldn’t wipe my face.

  His shirt was going to be so wet. I tried to push away from him, but I couldn’t. He was holding me too tight. It wasn’t painful, just comforting somehow. His body was really hard, but he was warm; it was like being swaddled sort of, in a big strong man.

  I felt my tears slow down, and I stopped sobbing. My misery had peaked and was ebbing. I felt one of his hands stroke my hair. He was saying something, shushing me gently. Saying it was okay. It wasn’t. He didn’t even know what was wrong, but I believed him, or at least I let it calm me.

  I pushed away from him, but he wouldn’t let me move any more than it took for me to crane my head up to look at him. He let go of me, cupping my face, running his thumbs over my tear covered face. I tried to look away. It felt really intimate.

  “What happened, honey?” he said very tenderly. His voice was gentle, and he looked concerned. I didn’t really know how to respond to that. I could answer the question, but the face, his voice, the way he was touching me, I felt like he shouldn’t have been. It was too confusing. I didn’t know whether I could feel safe. He was being kind and gentle, but I almost wanted to ask why.

  “Come sit down,” he said. I sat where he steered my body to sit. He sat next to me, facing me.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get so worked up,” I said, self-consciously wiping my cheeks.

  “Tell me what happened,” he said simply. I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged my legs close. I was nervous. I didn’t have that much restraint when it came to things like this. I blabbed about my feelings all the time to everyone who didn’t care. How much of my personal life did Jessie know for god’s sake?

  I wanted to talk because it would make me feel better, but also because he’d asked me. He wouldn’t have if he didn’t care, at least a little.

  “My ex, Jaden’s dad, was here to take him for the weekend. He came with his new girlfriend. They chose today to tell me that she’s going to adopt my son.”

  “Adopt him? But he has two parents.”

  “He does, but she isn’t his legal parent even if she’s with Jared. If she adopts him, she can be legally recognized as his parent as well. She’ll be his mom.”

  “They can’t do that without you, can they?” he asked.

  “I don’t know, I… I just can’t imagine my son growing up and calling someone else ‘Mom,’” I admitted. The thought made me tear up again. It made me sick. It made me scared.

  “You’re his mother. Your ex can’t take that away from you.”

  “But he’s with that woman. They’re moving in together. She babysits for him. I don’t know what Jared is going to do, and I’m scared what he is going to do is give Jaden what I can’t.” Marcus didn’t say anything which let me continue talking myself into a frenzy.

  “I wanted to raise my son in a two-parent household. I don’t want my son to resent me. I don’t want him to love her more than he loves me. I don’t want-”

  “Adina, stop it,” he said, getting in front of me so he could hold me by the shoulders. He was right in front of me, on the floor on his knees, so he was looking at me. “I wanted this family and Jared broke it. Jaden’s all I have, and I don’t want him to take my son from me,” I said. I could see vague splotches of color where Marcus was in front of me because I was crying again. “He said… he said-”

  “Stop it, Adina. No more,” he said wrapping me in his arms again. My body sort of just unfolded and sunk into his embrace. He said he thought I got pregnant to trap him, I didn’t say because he told me not to. I had my arms around him too that time, around his neck.

  He smelled nice. He felt nice too. I felt like he was so solid and big, I could lean on him, literally and maybe in the other way too.

  “Shit, I have work,” I sighed, remembering the dinner party, releasing Marcus.

  “Do you want me to leave?” he asked.

  “No, I’ll have a friend come stay here while I am gone. You can leave whenever you want. I feel like it’s overtime asking you to stay.”

  “You don’t trust me?” he asked. Oh. Oh yeah, the thief thing, his charges. I wasn’t even thinking of that.

  “Should I?” I asked, seeing the look on his face like he was a little offended.

  “I want you to,” he said, looking at me in a way that made me feel a little guilty for asking Sophie to come stay while he worked.

  “Give me a reason to,” I challenged. I wasn’t talking about how I might have been nervous leaving a man with felony burglary charges alone in my house anymore.

  I was looking in his eyes feeling tired in my body but wired at the same time. Something palpable radiated off of him, and I could feel it too. I was attracted to him. He felt chaotic and powerful and mysterious, and it made me really happy that he seemed to like me back. He didn’t have to ask about what was going on with me. I felt like we were saying the same thing to each other without words. I scooted forward on the couch till our bodies nearly touched and leaned forward to kiss him.

  I put my hands on his chest and felt his lips part. His tongue touched mine briefly before he held my hands around the wrists and moved them back into my lap. He pulled away and looked at me. I nearly fucking cried again. He didn’t want me? That would have been easy enough to accept as a fact if he hadn’t propositioned me so many times since we’d met.

  My eyes closed, and I turned my head down, covering my mouth. So stupid. I tried to stand up, but he stopped me, pressing down firmly with his hands on my hips. I didn’t want to look at him. I was so embarrassed for thinking that was what he wanted me to do.

  His hand cupped the side of my face making me look up and meet his eyes. The blue was penetrating. It made me fe
el like I was naked, not just bare of clothing. I wanted to look away. He leaned in and kissed my forehead softly.

  “Not when you’re this upset,” he said, answering a question I hadn’t asked him. Oh, of course. Be a gentleman and refuse to take advantage of a woman’s vulnerability. I wanted to feel grateful, but there was some resentment in there—just some. He stood up then helped me up. I thanked him awkwardly before walking very quickly into my room.

  Jaden was in his crib, watching his mobile and making little babbling sounds to himself. I went and fished him out, hugging him.

  “I’m sorry I put you here baby, Mommy was having a breakdown,” I said, bouncing him gently. I clutched him to my chest and stroked his head. My baby. I felt desperate holding him. What was Jared going to do?

  I felt a fear that made me want to cry again. I walked over to the bed and sat with him in my lap, cross-legged. I peeled my t-shirt off halfway and nursed him. Jared couldn’t do this. I felt fierce love for my child. I had never felt love like that for anyone.

  I didn’t want to leave the room again, but I had to. I wanted to spend the time I had before Sophie arrived with my baby. I’d left him in his crib; I didn’t know whether he’d dozed off or not, whether his nap cycle for the rest of the day was ruined.

  Marcus was out there too. He’d be working, though, not skulking around the living room hanging out with Jaden and me. After burping him and changing him, I walked back into the living room and sat on the floor with him while the Animaniacs played on the television.

  I left him on the floor on a fluffy blanket trying to nibble one of his toys while I got ready for work. The worst was over. Marcus had seen me have an entire breakdown. I’d just tell him I was leaving and go. He looked up as I approached the doorway.

  “The fridge is full of food. You can eat whatever you want,” I said to him.

  “Thanks,” he said. I looked at the ground feeling like I owed him an explanation.

  “For Jaden,” I said.

  “What?”

  “I called Sophie, but I need her to watch Jaden. He was supposed to go with his dad, and it was too short notice to call Jessie, but… it wasn’t you… I don’t… it wasn’t because of you.”