Never in my life had there been a reason for me to put a suit on. I guess it helped, what Adina said about a lot of my neck being covered. I had a ram’s skull tattooed right on my throat. Once you get something done somewhere you can’t hide it with clothes, you are going to get more. At least she wasn’t going to make me cut my hair off.
“Sit,” she said. The room wasn’t furnished, but there were some chairs and a table. I chose the table. “Take the jacket off, so the powder doesn’t get on there,” she said.
“Powder? What are you going to do?” I asked, peeling it off and putting it down next to me.
“Just hold still,” she said. She ran her hand over my tattoo, “contrition,” she whispered, reading it. She looked for something in a bag I guessed was hers and pulled out another, smaller bag. I recognized the stuff in there as makeup; I did have a sister and a mother. I knew what a lipstick looked like, the shit you put on your eyelashes too, but that was about it. She squeezed this flesh colored liquid onto the back of her hand and used a brush to paint it on my face.
“It’s wet.”
“It’ll dry,” she said pausing.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s a little light, but I can work with this,” she said. I didn’t know what she was talking about. She seemed to know what she was doing. The brushes were soft; they felt kind of nice. She used like three different ones.
“There, good as new.” She handed me her phone and let me look at my face with the camera. It was gone. Like completely covered, you couldn’t even see any black through there. I looked at her.
“How’d you do that?”
“The power of makeup. Did you forget what you looked like without it?”
“No, I just didn’t know you could do that with makeup. I thought you’d have to like, spackle it like a wall or something.”
“Makeup’s been helping women lie to men for decades. You’ve never seen your girlfriend first thing in the morning?”
“You’re not wearing any,” I said, not sure if I was right. Her skin was beautiful and flawless like she never had a single zit when she was a teenager. Her eyes were pretty. Green.
“I don’t when I’m cooking.”
“You’re beautiful,” I told her.
She paused looking at me. We were more or less face to face at eye level because I was sitting on the table. I stood, and she held my gaze, looking in my eyes all the way up.
“You should see me when I try,” she said, trying to crack a joke. She was nervous.
“This is when you say thank you and let me kiss you,” I said. She didn’t say anything, but her face flushed. I cupped one of her pink cheeks.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“Is this still inappropriate?”
“Yes,” she said swallowing hard. I didn’t care. I kissed her. Her hands grasped my stiff, white shirt. I felt the tension melt away from her body as her hands went down lower to my waist. I heard her moan softly as she wrapped her arms around my neck and parted her lips.
I tasted the inside of her mouth, feeling her tongue against mine. I pressed her harder into me. We’re in a million-dollar townhouse on Park Avenue and the house is full of people who could walk in, but I didn’t care.
She was delicious. Her lips, her body close to mine. I felt her let go and she let me touch her. I wanted to touch her everywhere. I pulled her top up and ran my hand down her stomach till my fingers met the top of her pants. She pushed me back. Shit.
“Marcus, we can’t,” she whispered desperately. She didn’t try to stop me, though. I slid my hand past the waistband finally getting to her panties.
“Can’t what?” I pushed my hand under her panties, and she froze. I paused before touching her clit. “You sure you don’t want me to?” I whispered in her ear. Silently, she put a hand down her panties and guided mine right where I wanted it—the top of that sweet cleft where that little button was.
She gasped, closing her eyes when she felt my fingers. I circled her clit, and she grabbed my arm with her other hand. I felt her nails pressing into my skin. So sensitive.
“Oh my god. Don’t stop,” she pleaded under her breath. I didn’t. I massaged her clit with my fingers, watching her try and keep herself quiet, trying to hold back a little. God, she looked sexy. Her eyebrows were pulled together, and her lips were apart. Every filthy thing I wanted to do to her ran through my mind.
I didn’t know who I’d ever wanted to fuck more. She was moaning and whimpering and begging. Please, she kept saying over and over like I was going to stop. She came, moaning and sagging forward into me. She panted softly. I pulled my hand out of her panties, tilting her head up so I could kiss her. I wanted a lot more than just my tongue in her mouth.
“We have to go back.”
“They haven’t started yet,” I said, kissing her again. I grabbed her hand, putting it over my cock so she could feel how hard I got touching her. She squeezed gently. Then suddenly I couldn’t feel her anymore.
“Oh, my god. Oh my god.” She had bolted across the room, and she was fixing her clothes up. Not a minute ago I had her close to tears about to come. What the hell?
“Nobody’s looking for us, honey. Relax,” I said walking up behind her. I touched her shoulder, and she turned to face me.
“I… I…” she was looking down. She sniffed and touched her face. Perfect. She was mad, or she regretted it. Or maybe she was embarrassed. A combination of the three? You weren’t supposed to cry when someone made you come.
“Adina?”
“I’m so sorry,” she said, looking up. There were tears streaming down her cheeks, “this isn’t right. I can’t. I… we can’t. I-” she cut herself off and practically fled from the fucking room like I was chasing her.
She didn’t turn around when I asked her to stop…
12
Adina
In an effort to stop myself from losing my mind, I’d been looking for the silver lining in my situation. Jared and I, we weren’t married for instance. We could talk. He would listen when I wanted to tell him whatever I wanted to say. He wasn’t crazy. Jared wasn’t unhinged, and I hadn’t done anything that awoke any weird possessive urge that would make him do something crazy.
Being on good terms with Jared was something I had to be. It was the least I could make sure I did to make sure my son didn’t have parents who made his life hell. We didn’t have to be friends, but we had to at least abide each other. It was for Jaden, and for my son, I would do anything. I kept trying to remember that; it would make this a lot easier.
All I asked was that he not bring her. He had asked that I come to his apartment instead of him coming to mine. I had asked that he at least do me the courtesy of not having her in the house while we spoke.
I didn’t need to be embarrassed by an audience during the worst moments of my life anymore. She must have thought I was psycho. Jared’s crazy ex-girlfriend and baby mama. Her opinion didn’t matter, but I didn’t like having to be involved with her—even tangentially.
Step-parent adoption my ass. I had gotten over the shock of the revelation, and now I was just pissed. He had no legal grounds to try to strip me of my parental right to Jaden. Nothing that said I was an unfit parent, and Janice hadn’t been around long enough to even try to stake a claim. How dare he?
The cynical part of me thought he was just fucking with me. The part which didn’t want to be cynical anymore was still calling that a bitch move.
It was only Thursday, but Jared had asked me to bring Jaden with me. I packed a bag just in case. I wasn’t sure whether or not he would want him for a few days. It would work out if he did. I didn’t want him in his new nursery for a while. At least until my unexpected anxiety over putting him in his own room dissipated.
I had to keep my cool this time. I’d been preparing for this for days. I didn’t want this to devolve into another fight.
He was in his work clothes when he opened the door, unbuttoned at the collar with his tie mi
ssing. I didn’t know why he was home so early. Maybe it was a slow day selling houses or something. Whatever. I didn’t care.
After saying hi and tickling Jaden in his carrier, he invited me to sit at the dining table so we could talk.
“Do you want something to drink?” he asked me as he poured himself some brown liquor in a tumbler.
“No. I’m not staying longer than I have to. I’m here to talk.”
“So talk,” he said easily, sliding into a chair across from me. He looked so smug. He had known exactly what he was doing saying what he had to me. Who was this guy? Jared was a little harsh sometimes, but he was never outright cruel to me.
“What you said, what you did was completely uncalled for,” I said. He sipped his drink watching me. “I don’t want to get lawyers and courts involved,” I said. “We aren’t married. I’m not keeping him from you.” I think you’re trying to punish me. I think you’re taking advantage of the fact that I haven’t moved on. I think you’re a dick-swinging asshole and I can’t remember the time when we loved each other.
“Janice wants to be part of his life. She will be if she’s with me.”
“Then being Jaden’s Aunt Janice should suffice. That’s where I draw the line. I won’t be replaced. I won’t take that disrespect.”
“If you can dish it, you need to take it, Addie. Jaden has one father, and that is me,” he said.
“That’s a title that has to be earned,” I challenged.
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means Jaden has to feel like he has two parents. School, medical care, birthdays, holidays. He comes first.”
“Fine,” he said. “I want more than two days a week with him.”
“Three.”
“Four,” he countered.
“He’s still completely milk dependent. I can’t pump half a weeks’ worth of milk. You go to work every day. My schedule is more flexible.” I gave birth to him, I didn’t say, but I wanted to. I really wanted to, but that would have been a cheap shot.
“Fine, three,” he agreed. “What about holidays?” I paused because I thought he’d put up a stronger fight.
“I think we should have those together, as a family.”
“What about when he’s older?”
“When he’s older we discuss and make the necessary adjustments. How about we try this before we do anything else?”
“Are you seeing anyone?” he asked, changing the subject.
“No,” I said, after reconsidering lying to him.
“You’re lying,” he said. “You hesitated.”
“Believe what you want; it’s not my job to convince you.” I wished I had accepted something to drink because I was getting nervous.
“Who?” he asked, leaning forward.
“I told you I wasn’t.”
“Tell me who. Do you bring him around Jaden?”
“It’s not serious.”
“You’re dating?”
“Is that so hard to believe?”
“It is, actually. You don’t date.”
“Don’t be so self-assured in your assessment of me Jared. We were together a long time, but things change. Do you want Jaden for three days starting now or next week?”
“Actually, I can’t take him,” he said. “Janice will be moving in, and it’ll be too busy and noisy here. You can have him until next weekend.”
“Next weekend? Why not this one?”
“Because we’re busy, Adina.” I stood, picking up Jaden in his seat.
I didn’t want this to turn into a fight, so I paused before speaking so my anger didn’t speak for me.
“I hope this doesn’t become a habit, Jared.”
“Don’t start, Addie. Don’t make me feel guilty for having something to do this one time. Don’t feel bad because I’ve moved on and you haven’t.”
All I had to do was say something mean about Janice, and he would be off. We’d have it out, calling each other names, cursing each other’s mothers. And it would feel good. It would feel good to let go, but I didn’t have to be there anymore. We had discussed what I had come to discuss. I was leaving.
“You’re right. Congratulations. Call me when you’re ready to take your son,” I said, turning and walking towards the door, remembering Jaden’s bag and going back for it.
“Are you really seeing someone?” he asked behind me.
“My love life is none of your business.”
“It is if this guy is meeting Jaden.”
“You can do a background check on him when I can do one on Janice. Goodbye Jared.”
I had to be civil with him, but we didn’t have to be friends. I also didn’t have to play those juvenile games with him. He didn’t say anything else as I left.
I had stood up to Jared, and I was calling that a victory. That canceled out me bailing on Marcus, didn’t it? He was at the house. Since he had started his new job, he had had to delay coming back and helping me with the last thing I needed help with: Jaden’s crib.
Marcus was at my house right then if he hadn’t already finished and left.
I was desperate that he had both finished and left and was still there working and I would be able to see him when I got home. Jared and I’s relationship wasn’t the only one that was a little complicated. What on earth would I say if I saw Marcus again? Thanks for fingering me at work. Sorry I ran away sobbing?
I didn’t know which was worse, the sobbing or the fingering. Well, I knew which I liked better, obviously, but I didn’t know which one Marcus was laughing about harder with his friends when he talked about me. I had thought about what had happened so much, and I still didn’t know what to do.
If Marcus was working for the company now, it meant I would see him again. As a colleague. I could do that. What I hadn’t figured out what to do was what to do when I saw him not as a colleague. It wasn’t like I could be with him. He put his hand down my pants; he didn’t propose to me. I didn’t even have time to see anybody. That presupposed that he even wanted to see me like that. Maybe he just wanted to have sex with me, but that thought wasn’t any more comforting than anything else.
I unlocked the door and held my breath walking inside. I saw Sophie sitting on one of the living room couches, and across the room from her was Marcus. Their conversation ended when I walked through the door. She shot up to her feet as soon as I walked inside.
“Have you been waiting?” I asked both of them.
“Not too long. I had Marcus to keep me company,” she said. I could hear the subtext loud and clear in her voice. She would want to know about him. She had agreed to come to the house while Marcus was there, so I didn’t have to be. Yes, I was avoiding him.
He hadn’t stopped watching me since I’d walked in, not that I had the guts to look directly at him and acknowledge him in my space like that. I didn’t.
“Thanks,” I croaked out to her. She smiled and sidled past me out the door. She was in a hurry. I wished she had waited. I turned to where Marcus was still sitting.
“Car rides always make Jaden fall asleep, I’ll put him down,” I said, managing not to make eye contact the entire time. I walked to my room before the sight of the missing crib told me that I had asked to have it moved. I walked into the nursery. The finished nursery. I hadn’t said anything about the changing table which I had also kept in my room, but Marcus had moved that too. It looked bright and warm.
It was so cute. He had been right about the blue. Jaden’s bedding was mainly white and yellow, so it went together like I’d planned it that way. I carefully moved Jaden, careful not to wake him, and looked down at him sleeping peacefully.
“Do you like it?” I heard Marcus ask me from the door.
“It’s amazing. Thank you,” I said not looking up. I heard him enter the room and felt him take up space next to me. “Tonight will be his first night in his new room,” I said, mostly to myself, realizing it. I had slept in a different house from Jaden before. I had to the way things were with Ja
red, but he wasn’t just a few footsteps away anymore. He’d be alone in here. I’d need a baby monitor immediately. Immediately.
“Just send me your quotation, and I’ll write you a check,” I said. I walked out of the room because it was getting a little hard to breathe. I was getting nervous, and the sooner I politely showed him out, the sooner I could relax. He made me feel stripped. He made me feel so vulnerable. I was so worried that he’d do something, but God, did I want him to. I wanted to hide from him, but we were inside. There wasn’t a room he wouldn’t follow me into if I went inside, so I just did what I did the first time, held the door open and waited for him to walk through it.
“Are you going to tell me why you ran away or are you going to make me guess?” I heard him ask. “You can shut that door; you and I aren’t through here.” He was standing four or so feet away from me with his arms crossed. I closed the door and stood with my back to it, facing him.
“I shouldn’t have asked you to do what you did. I’m sorry. I took advantage of you.”
“You took advantage of me?” he asked, moving forward. “I’ve wanted to fuck you since we met and I know I haven’t been subtle about it.”
“I took advantage of that, and I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have made you believe there could be something when there can’t.”
“The fuck there can’t. What are you afraid of, Adina?” he asked. He was closing the space between us. I had to tilt my head up to look at his face because our bodies were nearly touching.
“You,” I blurted out truthfully. I fixed my eyes on the plain black of the shirt he was wearing because I didn’t want to look at him. Oh yeah, I was definitely going to cry again. I could feel it.
“Why?” he asked gently. His hand tilted my chin up to look at him.
Marcus (Heartbreakers & Troublemakers Book 5) Page 9