Marcus (Heartbreakers & Troublemakers Book 5)

by Hope Hitchens

  None of us had ever done this before, so I could understand why nobody had anything to comment. They probably didn’t know what to say, but I hadn’t brought Adina here so they could just stare and make her uncomfortable.

  Jaden had been passed around the entire room. Even Jonny had wanted to hold him. I’d asked her to bring him along since we hadn’t had much luck finding a replacement sitter who wasn’t her neighbor Sophie. I was nervous. I didn’t know what reaction I wanted doing this, but silence wasn’t it. How shady would it be to sneak away to my room and call Adina to ask her whether she needed to bail?

  “Hey, Mom. When Adina comes back, Jaden’s going to have to nurse. It’s around his naptime,” I said to her, so at least someone was saying something.

  “She’s breastfeeding?” she asked like she was impressed. I nodded. Great, something they had in common. Something else they had in common. Mom had predictably fallen in love when she saw Jaden, and as soon as she asked one question about him, that set them off. I didn’t understand half of what they had discussed, but they were talking, and that was good. Kevin quietly grabbed another cupcake out of the box of them that Adina had made to bring along.

  “You know Adina made those,” I told him. He nodded, taking a bite.

  “They’re good. I like her,” he said. He did? He was a surly preteen; he usually hated everything.

  “You do?”

  “Yeah. She’s hot.” Jon laughed as Adina reentered the room.

  “It’s food time for this little guy,” she said, taking Jaden from my mother’s lap. “I’ll just be in the other room.”

  “What? Why? Just do it here,” she said. “Don’t mind us.” Adina looked at me, panicky.

  “That’s alright, Mom. In fact, Jaden needs to nap right after so we could probably get together again another time.” My mother fawned over Jaden some more before she finally left with Kevin, taking the cupcakes with them.

  It was the first time that I had brought Adina to my house, and the first night we were spending together there. My place wasn’t baby-ready like hers, but the bed was big enough to sleep with Jaden in it. I knew some people did that.

  Jon didn’t use my room and had no reason to come by and see what we were doing, but he was just outside the door. I closed the door behind me after following her inside. Looking around the room, I realized how little time I’d actually been spending there. I wasn’t supposed to move houses without letting Jonas know; maybe I’d violated my probation in more ways than one.

  Adina was on the bed, cross-legged, breastfeeding Jaden. I didn’t want to tell her, but I thought it was sort of sexy. Not because she was naked or anything or it made me hard. She loved her child. She was a good mother. That was sexy. I was staring so hard the first time she did it in front of me that she’d asked me to stop.

  “So, what did you think?” I asked, sitting on the bed with her.

  “I think they’re nice,” she said.

  “You gotta give me more than that, Adina.”

  “They’re very nice. Kevin seems sort of shy, but he’s sweet. Jon likes my cooking and your mother’s great. What do you want me to say?”

  “You’re the first person I’ve ever brought to meet them,” I admitted.

  “Well, sucks for you. The bar’s so high now, who else could ever measure up?” she asked playfully.

  “I hope you made the impression you wanted because they’re not meeting anyone else,” I said. She smiled and looked down at Jaden.

  “Thanks for not telling them anything about Jared.”

  “You’re afraid of what they’d think?”

  “No… well, yeah, but I also wouldn’t know what to say to them if they had questions. I’ve been thinking about actually getting a lawyer involved,” she said.

  “For what? Gaining sole custody?” I asked.

  “Not really. Just a legal arrangement that he’d have to stick to or face charges.” She sighed sadly, “I never wanted it to come to that with him.”

  “Maybe that’s what you wanted, but he’s pushing, and I don’t think he’s going to stop.”

  “If we managed to do this together and remain as civil as possible, then it would mean we could be better parents to Jaden. I want him to believe in love, and commitment, even if his parents weren’t together.”

  “Who said he won’t?” I said. She smiled sadly at me.

  “I don’t want to put him in the middle of a fight between us.”

  “A court order will keep him in line. I know he’s Jaden’s dad, but he’s an animal. He’s taking advantage of your kindness. He’s already shown you what he’s capable of.”

  “I’ll give him one more chance.”

  “Adina-”

  “Just one. I’m saying it in front of you so you can call me out if I slip. Just one. He’s trying to fuck with me. When what he does hurts Jaden, I’ll have him served.” I shook my head.

  “You’re so much better than he ever deserved. Jaden shouldn’t have to see his mother heartbroken because of what his shitbag father has done. Can you at least think about it?” I said to her.

  “Do you know any good lawyers?”

  “Not the kind you need, unless you know something about Jared that the police need to know.”

  “Does it make me a bad person if I want sole custody?” she asked.

  “Depends on why you want it.” Jaden had stopped drinking, so she covered herself up and sat him on her thigh to burp him. I offered to do it for her, holding him against my chest.

  “I don’t want to be scared of my son’s father,” she said.

  “He won’t hurt you,” I said. “Just say the word, and I’ll beat him up.”

  “Most guys would offer other things when they’re trying to be sweet,” she said smiling. “It’s very jarring hearing you threaten Jared’s life while you burp my baby.”

  “Just tell me you’ll think about it,” I said. I wasn’t kidding when I said I could take care of Jared for her, but it wasn’t enough. The reason why was in my arms. When people showed you who they were, you needed to believe them. I didn’t know how far he would take it, but as long as I could help it, not far enough for Jaden or Adina to get hurt.

  “I will,” she agreed. After Jaden fell asleep, we went back to the living room, and Adina used my oven for the first time since I’d moved in to roast a chicken for dinner.

  23

  Adina

  “So, what you’re saying is I’m screwed?”

  Deidre Fletcher, family law, looked at me soberly from across her desk.

  “Your ex…”

  “Jared,” I reminded her.

  “Your ex, Jared, is legally your child’s father. The acknowledgment form you signed with him was legally binding. Legally, he has parental rights to the child. Whether you’re screwed or not depends on whether that fact is a problem.”

  I had said I didn’t want lawyers and courts involved. I still didn’t. Having a consultation didn’t mean I was trying to get a court order or strip Jared of his parental rights.

  I was simply curious about the procedure I’d have to go through if I wanted to. I’d also told Marcus that I’d look into it because he was worried too. It was nice, to feel that he cared that much, but I wasn’t looking forward to the legal rigmarole of child custody.

  Jared had come to me saying he and Janice wanted to do a step-parent adoption on zero grounds. No reason that any lawyer would be able to defend. He was just being a dick. He had essentially kidnapped Jaden and taken him to Connecticut.

  I hadn’t wanted to get lawyers and courts involved because I thought even in the absence of love and affection, we at least respected each other. I had respected him, but it was clear now that he didn’t respect me.

  Not enough to pick the phone up and tell us where he was with our son when I was supposed to have him. Not even a text message. Nothing. Silence. And this time, it had been loud enough.

  “It is a problem, actually,” I said, smiling. “How… permanent
is his… how can I… is there a way to reverse that? Make him not my son’s legal father anymore?” I asked. My heart was pounding so loud I could hear it. There. I’d said it.

  How can Jared stop being Jaden’s father? In the event that he pushed me too far, and it was no longer worth the emotional stress to my son or me to continue a relationship with him, how could I get rid of him? Because I thought that this, the blatant disregard for our agreement considering his care was only going to continue.

  I didn’t know what his limit was, whether he would use Jaden to manipulate me, make promises to him that he didn’t keep, become caught up in his new life and decide that the son he had before didn’t fit into it.

  I knew where I stood, and that was with my child. I couldn’t speak for him, but I would have to make a decision if or when my son’s father lost the right to continue calling him his parent. I didn’t want child support. I didn’t want anything but the assurance that whatever happened between us was not going to be something he punished Jaden for.

  What could I do to make sure an innocent boy was not caught in the middle?

  “Getting a court order for sole custody would limit your ex’s rights to at best, visitation, but getting sole custody isn’t easy. There has to be a very strong motive. Abuse or drug addiction, things like that. Proof that barring a parent’s access to the child is in that child’s best interest.”

  “What about neglect?”

  “You’d have to be able to prove that your ex isn’t providing appropriately for your child when he has him, to the point of emotional or physical endangerment.” I frowned. Jared sold high-end real estate for a living. His commissions were sometimes more than most people made in a year.

  “What about if he can’t keep the agreement we made to raise him jointly?”

  “Violates the terms of your agreed upon parental plan?” she asked. I nodded. “Then you can file for a court order restricting his physical custody. Courts favor joint custody so you would have to agree on how often he got to see his child, but with a court order, violation would be a criminal offense.”

  “What if he…” I had said it once, I could say it again. “What if Jared stops caring and doesn’t want to see him anymore? I don’t want my son pining after someone who doesn’t care about him. I don’t want Jared popping up out of nowhere after years of absence saying he wants him back.”

  Deidre Fletcher was nothing like Dr. Menendez but this, sitting across a desk from a professional, waiting for counsel on how to deal with Jared was really quite familiar. There was something so sad about it. It felt final. It felt like the reason we needed other people to mediate what went on between us was because the separation was so complete. We were no longer the people who could have sat down and discussed things ourselves.

  It was true. I didn’t care what Deidre Fletcher thought of me and my situation the way I felt self-conscious about what Dr. Menendez thought. I didn’t have to take on that emotional labor, not since Jared had so graciously relieved me of it.

  “If your ex for some reason no longer wants to care for your child, or cannot, then you can request custody due to abandonment.” I tried not to flinch, but I thought she might have seen my eye twitch a little when she said that word. It was so ugly. What if Jared abandoned our son? I wasn’t naive enough to believe it didn’t happen. It had happened to Marcus.

  If he did… then he did. If he and Janice started a family together and Jaden didn’t fit into that equation… then he didn’t. Abandoning his son would be on him, not on me. Refusing the amazing gift of our little boy would be his own loss. If he decided to take that loss, I’d do my best to make sure Jaden didn’t feel it.

  I left the lawyer’s office feeling… not better… angrier.

  What if I hadn’t done it? Jaden was mine legally the moment he was yanked out of my belly. He was mine anyway. I was his mom. I knew I was going to raise him, devote every minute of the rest of his life worrying about and taking care of him.

  I just hadn’t expected to do it alone. I had made every preparation not to, making sure Jared Tomko was the name under ‘father’ on his birth certificate and signing an acknowledgment of paternity document with him because I hadn’t been smart enough at the time to realize I was devoting all that hope and energy to a relationship that was dead.

  Jared was only legally Jaden’s father because I had signed the fucking acknowledgment papers. It was the one thing I’d asked him to do because I needed to know he was serious about being in our son’s life. He hadn’t said no, but what if I had done it for him? Just never said anything in the first place.

  Paternity was a legal term. Having paternal rights over Jaden didn’t mean he was his daddy. I’d given birth to him, and that didn’t mean I was anything more than the person who carried him. It wasn’t that hard to have kids, to produce them. People did it by accident all the time. It was what you did afterward that mattered.

  Did it make me a bad person to wish I hadn’t done it?

  No. it made Jared a bad person for making me wish I’d never done it. This wasn’t about us. It was about Jaden. I’d done it because I didn’t want Jaden to feel the loss of a parent, even if his parents were not together. I would do this for the same reason.

  I had options. That was all I wanted. I just needed to know that if I had to do something drastic, I could. I couldn’t hold Jared to my standards anymore. I couldn’t ask him for more than he was willing to give. If it wasn’t everything, then I just needed him to let me know, so I made sure our child was surrounded with love, even if it wasn’t coming from him.

  He had apologized for what he’d done, but not a real apology. A shithead’s apology. I’m sorry for how my action made you feel, not for doing the action in the first place. Yeah, I was sorry too, but not to him. To Jaden, for what I wouldn’t be able to protect him from in the future. To Marcus, for legally binding myself to another man for the rest of Jaden’s life. To myself, for all that time I wasted believing I was the person Jared would come through for.

  Marcus was babysitting for me at home. We both didn’t have to work till the evening, and after being surprised that he’d volunteer to watch Jaden, I’d warmed up to the idea pretty fast. He was my boyfriend, and I didn’t expect my boyfriend to have anything to do with Jaden if he didn’t want it, but Marcus did, and I loved him for that.

  I loved him for the unexpected way he fit into my life. He was there when I needed someone, and he’d exceeded every expectation that I had had of him. I loved him for the fact that I didn’t have to worry with him. Yeah, he had that court date coming up, but I was optimistic. From what he’d told me, he had a pretty good chance of staying out of jail.

  When I opened the door, I had to look around the room before I saw Marcus. He was on the floor with Jaden. All my decorative pillows were on the floor in a semicircle around Jaden’s back. I wasn’t sure what I had walked in on.

  “Hey,” I said, “Is everything okay?”

  “Look,” Marcus said, standing, excited. “He’s doing it.” I looked down at my son, who was looking up at us, smiling. He was doing it. He was sitting up. “He pushes back with his legs sometimes, so I put the pillows there to catch him in case he tipped over.” I crouched down to kiss him. My son was so clever.

  “Why am I never here when he does these things?” I said jokingly. Jaden had been with Jared the first time he rolled over.

  “I think the only thing he has to work on is his balance,” said Marcus, sitting down next to me, lying on his side, so he was looking at Jaden face-to-face.

  “I wish we met before Jaden was born,” I told him.

  “Why?”

  “Because,” I said, “in the state of New York, the man who a woman is married to when she gives birth is considered the child’s father, legally,” I said.

  “Yeah?” he asked, “couldn’t the biological father contest that in court if he wanted?”

  “He could. But the guy the woman’s married to can choose to raise the child
as his own,” I said, pausing. “I wish I did a better job choosing a father for my son.”

  “If you’re proposing, honey, I have to say, you’re not making a great case for yourself.” I laughed, looking down at him. The thought made my stomach burn. How long had I waited for Jared to give me a ring? I grabbed one of his hands and held it in both of mine.

  “I’m not proposing to you. In my fantasy, we’re already married, and Jaden becomes your son by default,” I said. He was cracking jokes and laying out on the floor; I felt confident enough to admit it when I was sitting up, hovering above him.

  “Is that what your fantasies about us are? Family stuff? Vacations and PTA meetings?” he asked. I blushed a little because… well, yeah. My reality was what it was, and I wouldn’t give up or change Jaden for the world. But if I could, I would replace Jared with Marcus. It was him I saw with Jaden and me during Thanksgiving, visiting my parents in Puerto Rico, making memories with. It was his name that was on Jaden’s birth certificate.

  “You’ve never thought about it?” I asked, looking down.

  “My fantasies about you are a little different. Rope, handcuffs, things like that,” he said. I smiled. I had those too. He was very sexy. I decided not to let him know how much those suggestions excited me.

  “It’s dumb,” I said. “I really thought it would be different when Jared and I were together. I still want it,” I admitted, shrugging. “Whatever happens with custody in the future, I know it will never be him. I just hope I can still have it. I hope my son can still have it.”

  “PTA meetings and vacations. Got it,” Marcus said, sitting up.

  “Got what?”

  “That’s what you want,” he said. “I want to give it to you.”

  “You do?” I asked, a little mystified. “How?”

  “Well don’t act that surprised, honey. I want to make you happy. I’ll coach a little league team if you want me to. I’ll grow a beer gut and start losing my hair. Be Jaden’s goofy stepdad.” I laughed at the thought. I didn’t see it happening—the beer gut part. He didn’t drink, and he worked out religiously. The goofy dad part? Sorry, stepdad part; that I could see.