Dragon Apocalypse (The Berserker and the Pedant Book 2)

by Josh Powell

  This time, Pellonia rolled in close and struck Clem. Clem held the stone up, blocking the axe. The axe bit into the stone. The stone crackled as ice radiated out from the axe along the surface of the rock. Once it was fully enveloped, the rock shattered. Pellonia grinned.

  Gurken roared as he ran towards the beholder. A bolt of freezing air flew from the orb, striking the axe. The axe made a creaking sound and frost formed around it. Gurken dropped the axe and held on to his numb, unmoving hand.

  The axe fell to the ground with a clatter of steel on stone, and Gurken fell to one knee, unconsciously rubbing his frozen hand. He raised his head towards the creature and gritted his teeth. “You’ll pay for that, one eye!”

  He lunged forward, reaching out his good hand, fingers straining. Another blast of cold struck him in the face, casting him to the ground. Gurken sat up slowly, a wintry fog steaming from his frost stiffened beard.

  Shkkkt-splat-shkkkt-splat. Phage continued to drop off of the wall, more quickly than before. Dozens of legless zombie ants lay sprawled around the floor, killing any Phage that ventured too close.

  Maximina smiled and reached into her magic sack. She pulled out a jar, which she popped open. She dipped her hand inside, and it came out covered in a thick, viscous jelly that clung to her hand. She spread it around her face and body until every inch of her was covered. She pulled out two short swords and spread the jelly over them as well, then she picked up a sword in either hand.

  “Apocalypse!” Maximina yelled. “Light me up!”

  Apocalypse looked at her in confusion, his brows furled.

  Maximina sighed and put one sword under her arm, held up her free hand, and squished the jelly between her fingers. “Flammable, yet protects the skin at the same time. Come on! We haven’t got all day!”

  Apocalypse shrugged and huffed a short blast of flame at Maximina. Fffooooom! She lit up like a dried pine tree.

  She charged into the fray, swinging her swords at the Phage, hooting and shouting with joy. Apocalypse let loose a conflagration, crisping Phage and legless zombie ant alike. Phage leapt at Maximina’s head, only to recoil as the flames took them and die as she sliced through them.

  Until… “Owwwwww!” Maximina yelled, dropping the swords and blowing on her hands. “Hot. Hot. Hot hot!” Apocalypse watched as her swords fell to the ground and the flames enveloping the swords licked out, the blades glowed red with heat.

  The Phage circled Maximina and Apocalypse, keeping a short distance between them. They crawled over and around each other, swarming at a respectful distance. Maximina feinted and they backed away, swarming back in as she retreated a step. Apocalypse breathed more flames on them, but the Phage ignored them and pressed forward.

  Then the flames on Maximina’s body went out.

  “Uh oh,” she gulped.

  “Clem no like cold,” Clem said as ice rippled through his body. Then, in another tone, as the ice stretched over his neck and finally over his head, “I am not especially fond of the col—.”

  Pellonia drew the axe from Clem’s body, where it had struck. She grinned at his now frozen form, entirely encased in ice.

  “These are nice,” she said to Pellonia, hefting the axe.

  “Best gifts ever,” said another.

  “Don’t you worry, we’ll make good use of them after you’re gone,” said the third.

  They smiled and took a step toward Pellonia.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  The Berserker and the Beholder

  AS THE FLAMES covering Maximina snuffed out, she rummaged around in her sack. “Come on, come on! Magic shovel, no. Wondrous wand, no. Crystal parrot?”

  The Phage sprung back as the crystal parrot flew out of the sack, fluttering around the room. “Enemies sighted! Squawk! Wake up! Enemies are near!”

  Maximina frowned and shook her fist at the bird as it flew about. “Thanks, crystal parrot.” A Phage jumped at the parrot, latching on and shattering it between its tentacles. The Phage surrounding Maximina and Apocalypse sprang forward.

  Gurken sat up slowly, frost stiffening his beard. He shook his head and flecks of ice sprayed out, forming a halo around his head. He stood up.

  The beholder raced toward him, mouth gaping. Gurken ducked underneath the floating head and rolled to the other side. He jumped up after the beholder passed by and grabbed onto one of the tentacles on top of the creature’s head and pulled himself up. The beholder spun upside down in the direction Gurken pulled, quickly rotating until the tentacles on top of its head were underneath, tossing Gurken off.

  Gurken sailed through the air, landing a few feet away and rolling into a crouch. The beholder spun towards Gurken, who sprang out of the way, landing in a heap.

  The beholder blasted Gurken with a sustained blast of cold, freezing him solid. A dwarf in an ice cube, a look of despair on his face, one hand extending out of the ice.

  The Pellonias split up and started to circle Pellonia. Pellonia backed up, making it more difficult for them to surround her.

  “You’ve heard the story of Goldilocks and the three bears, haven’t you?” Pellonia asked.

  “I generally know what you’re thinking,” said the Pellonia with the axe.

  “But we’ve no idea where you’re going with this,” said the Pellonia with the bracelet.

  “A little girl came upon a house in the forest,” Pellonia said. “Inside were three beds. She lay down in the first bed…”

  The Pellonia with the hammer charged. Pellonia waited for the last possible moment, then stepped toward her. The hammer missed, but Pellonia took an elbow to the face and the two tumbled to the ground.

  The two Pellonias grappled over the hammer. Neither struck the other, presumably because the hammer was enchanted to cause anyone striking the bearer of the hammer to freeze. Instead, they stood there tugging back and forth, trying to wrench the hammer out of the other’s hand.

  “It’s no good, Pellonia,” said Pellonia. “We have a telepathic connection. You won’t trick them into thinking you’re me.”

  “We’re not even dressed alike! They hardly need telepathy to figure it out,” said Pellonia. Pellonia gave a hard tug on the shaft of the hammer, then she let go, sending Pellonia sprawling. The Pellonia still standing wiped blood from her eyes from the earlier elbow strike.

  “The first bed was too hard,” she said, grinning.

  Maximina ducked the oncoming Phage and rummaged around in the magic sack some more. “There’s got to be something useful in here somewhere…”

  A Phage latched onto the head of Apocalypse. Apocalypse cried out, jerking his head from side to side, a pillar of flame shooting from his mouth toward the ceiling. A tentacle was crammed down his gullet, flames sputtering out the sides.

  “Aha!” Maximina yanked a chain out of the magic sack. “Catena fulgur!” The chain became a bolt of lightning and blasted out of her hands at the Phage. It struck one, incinerating it, and leapt on to another, and another, and another. Another fell over dead, a sizzling pile of flesh, then another and another; the next was a blackened and scorched corpse. Then another, and on and on. The smell of fried calamari filled the room.

  Then the bolt struck the wall of tentacles. The tentacles froze in place, erect, as their muscles pulled taut. Then they all sagged, falling limp. The bolt shot out one last time, streaking across the air and striking Apocalypse. Apocalypse jerked, falling to the ground and spasming as the lightning coursed through him. He fell. Silent. Unmoving.

  The Pellonia with the axe growled. “You won’t trick me the same way,” she said. She walked towards Pellonia, slowly, so as not to trip or become entangled.

  Pellonia glanced behind her at the Pellonia with the bracelet, then looked back toward the one with the axe. The Pellonia with the hammer stood up as the one with the axe passed her by, and advanced slowly along with her.

  “The second bed was too lumpy,” Pellonia said, backing up.

  Maximina ran over to Apocalypse. He wasn’t moving.


  “What have I done?” she asked. She lifted his head and jostled it. Nothing. She bent over and listened for a heartbeat. Still, nothing.

  “Come on, little guy, wake up!” She pounded on his chest with a fist. Thump, thump, thump.

  An elven steel-colored scale fell to the ground. Maximina watched it fall; time seemed to slow as the scale twirled to the ground. It struck with a metallic clang and bounced a few times before coming to a rest. All of the scales fell off Apocalypse, rolling to the ground in a heap.

  Underneath was a small winged lizard. Dead.

  “Yeah, yeah,” said the Pellonia with the bracelet. “The third bed was…”

  “Just right!” Pellonia exclaimed, turning and running toward her and away from the other two Pellonias. The Pellonia with the bracelet was surprised — some would even say stunned — seeing as she didn’t move as Pellonia sped towards her. Pellonia grabbed her by the hair, yanked her head down, and brought up a knee into her face. Blood spurted down Pellonia’s leg as her nose broke from the impact.

  “Owwww,” yelped the Pellonia with the bracelet, covering her broken nose with her hands. Pellonia caught the arm with the bracelet and twirled her around, twisting the arm behind her back. Realizing what was about to happen, the other Pellonias broke into a sprint.

  Pellonia ripped off the bracelet and kicked Pellonia into the oncoming Pellonias. They stumbled, falling into a small pile of Pellonias. The Pellonia formerly wearing the bracelet collided with the Pellonia with the hammer, freezing into a solid chunk of ice when she struck, her momentum carrying her to the side, sliding her out of the way.

  Pellonia set the bracelet over her wrist, looked at the two Pellonias and said, “I know why you’re confused. I’m a Pellonia, I’d be confused too. Allow me to explain. It’s confusing because there are three of you and only one of me, but in this metaphor you three are Goldilocks and I’m the bears.” Snap. The bracelet latched onto her wrist and Pellonia no longer felt the chill in the air.

  “Someone’s been sleeping in my bed. I’m going to eat them all up.”

  Maximina was quite the sight. She sat on the ground, cradling the tiny Apocalypse in her arms, surrounded by elven steel scales, which were in turn surrounded by dismembered tentacles, legs of ants, scorch marks, brains of the fallen Phage, zombified ant corpses gnashing at the air, and finally, a wall of limp, slightly crispy tentacles.

  She looked up in time to watch as Pellonia closed on the other Pellonias. The Pellonias seemed to agree with that plan, as they ran towards her as well, weapons at the ready. Pellonia squeezed between them, and with the nimbleness renowned of the elves, slipped under a swing of the hammer, pivoted, and as the axe flew by her, grabbed the handle and redirected it towards the Pellonia with the hammer.

  As the axe struck the Pellonia with the hammer in the arm, all three gifts of the frost giants flashed a brilliant ultramarine.

  The axe, Sjekira, imbued with the power to freeze whoever it struck in combat, froze the Pellonia with the hammer as the redirected blow landed.

  The hammer, Cekic, enchanted to freeze whoever struck its wielder, acted to encase in ice both the Pellonia currently wearing the bracelet and the Pellonia with the axe.

  The bracelet, Narukvica, which conferred an immunity to cold, prevented Pellonia from freezing.

  Pellonia admired the three solid clumps of ice. She gave one a shove and it slid across the floor toward Maximina. The hammer and the axe were encased in the blocks of ice along with the Pellonias. She pushed the other Pellonia ice blocks over as well.

  The beholder loomed over Pellonia from behind and an arctic blast launched from its eye orb. Pellonia smiled and turned toward the beast. It looked confused as she calmly walked over to it, stared into its eye from inches away, and slapped its cheek.

  Its pupil enlarged and the creature roared, blasting her with cold once more. Her hair fluttered in the freezing gale, but Narukvica protected her from the cold. She slapped the beholder’s other cheek and waggled a finger at it. It made a confused growling sound. Pellonia took a bit of salted cod from her pouch and tossed it in the beholder’s mouth.

  “Nice kitty,” Pellonia said. The beholder chewed the cod and considered, then turned and floated off.

  Pellonia walked over to Gurken. Seeing that his hand was sticking out of the ice, she removed her bracelet and placed it on his wrist. There was a flash and the ice surrounding him fractured and shattered, exploding outwards. Gurken growled.

  “Where is that beast? I’ll kill ‘em!” he said, looking around. Pellonia held out her hand and pointed toward Gurken’s wrist. He removed the bracelet and gave it back to her.

  “Accepting yourself for who you are didn’t work, eh?”

  “Apparently not,” Gurken growled.

  Pellonia walked over to Maximina and knelt beside her, while Gurken went to recover his axe.

  Maximina sniffed, wiped her nose with the back of her hand, and looked up, tears in her eyes. “I… I killed Apocalypse. It… it was my fault.”

  Pellonia shook her head. “It wasn’t your fault, Maximina. Mistakes happen in combat. Things happen quickly.”

  Maximina looked down at Apocalypse and stroked his head. She stopped suddenly, as if an idea had come to mind. Pellonia continued as if she hadn’t noticed.

  “We’ve got to keep going, Maximina. Arthur’s here and we’ve got to stop him before he gets the portal open.”

  “You two keep going; I’ll catch up. I think I can save Apocalypse. I have to try. I owe him that much.”

  Pellonia nodded. “I understand. But first, can you put the frozen Pellonias in that magic sack of yours? Wouldn’t want them thawing out and attacking us from behind.” Pellonia pointed to the three blocks of ice. Maximina nodded.

  “Let’s go, Gurken,” Pellonia said.

  Pellonia walked to the hallway and helped Clem up.

  “You know,” Clem said as he stood up, sounding very much like Arthur. “Your story about the bears was really more of an analogy than a metaphor.”

  Pellonia smiled sadly. “I’ve missed you, Arthur,” she said.

  “Me no Arthur. Me Clem!” said Clem.

  Pellonia, Gurken, and Clem stood at the entrance to the tunnel that Rufus, the mysterious man in the silken robe, and the beholder had gone down. The flap on top of Pellonia’s pouch popped open and Antic stuck his head out. His pincers flexed as he purred.

  “I know you like it in there, where you’re safe,” Pellonia said. “It’ll be just a bit longer.” An acrid scent filled the air. She pushed his head back down and closed the flap, tying it down. Antic purred loud enough that the pouch vibrated with the sound of his contentment. Pellonia smiled and patted the pouch.

  Gurken, a berserker unable to rage and who bore a mystical axe that did not work, Pellonia, a young elf with no more than her wits and her bracelet, and Clem, an enchanted amalgamation of bits of former Arthurs, a Moog, and a Leon, walked into the tunnel ready to face Arthur, the most powerful wizard in the realm, his apprentice Rufus, the mysterious man in the silken robes, and Melody, the elven warrior with thousands of years of experience — oh, and a beholder — one shouldn’t ever forget to include a beholder, they’re rather sensitive about such things. The fate of the entire world rested in the outcome of the confrontation to come. What could possibly go wrong?

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  The Berserker and the Phage

  PELLONIA OPENED A hatch and looked around. She was outside. She climbed out of the tunnel, emerging on top of the Phage ship. From this height, she could see the entire valley before her, from the small village from which they came, to the fortress of the frost giants and on to the floating city of Arendal.

  The light had a barely perceivable red hue as the sun descended. Night was approaching. Gurken and Clem walked up behind her and Gurken growled.

  Not ten feet away were Arthur, Rufus, the mysterious man in the silken robes, Melody, and Ohm. Oh, yes — also the beholder. Arthur, Rufus, and the m
ysterious man in the silken robes stood behind Melody, who was busily working on the Orb of Skzd. The Sphere of Annihilation hovered close by, encapsulated by a shimmering barrier. Ohm was chained down several feet away, glumly entertaining the beholder with his lute.

  Rufus saw them and tapped Arthur on the shoulder. “Sire, the Ice Capaders approach. What’s left of them, anyway.”

  “I can see that, Doofus. Quiet! Your miserable failure will be dealt with! Harshly,” Arthur said, narrowing his eyes. Turning to Pellonia, he smiled and continued.

  “You made it? Impressive.” His eyebrows furled as he glared at them. “And you’ve killed our queen. No matter, we won’t have any need of her momentarily. You’re just in time to witness the emergence of the Phage into this world. This world shall become a paradise. For them, not you. You’ll hate it, I’m afraid.”

  “Arthur,” Pellonia implored him. “You’ve got to fight it! Fight the Phage! Don’t let it control you.”

  Arthur held his head and shouted, “No, mustn’t… lose… control.” He clutched his head and bent over in apparent agony as he held his hands to his head. Pellonia looked at Gurken. Gurken rolled his eyes as Arthur’s shouts of pain turned to laughter and he stood back up, chuckling. “Really, Pellonia. If it were that easy, he’d have taken control long ago. He’s been taken for so long, he can’t even hear you. He’s not even conscious anymore. This body is mine.”

  Maximina, back in the cave where they’d defeated the Phage queen, reached into her pocket and pulled out the seeds from the resurrection plant she’d taken from the elven ship. She smiled, pulled the magic shovel out of the bag, and whistled a merry tune as she dug a hole.