White Lies and Other Half Truths

by Barbara Tiller Cole

  “Well, while I am being presumptuous, should all go well today, I would like to invite you and your family to come to Pemberley for Christmas. I want to assure you that if your daughter does accept me, I will consider your family as my family, sir.”

  “Even Mrs. Bennet, Mr. Darcy?” Mr. Bennet questioned.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “You do know, of course, that Elizabeth is my favourite. I know that I should not favour one of my daughters over the others, but her extraordinary intelligence and keen wit were evident even as a child. She was too smart for her mother, and so inquisitive. I found that I spent a great amount of time conducting her education as a child. She has probably read most of the books in this library, and her memory for details is incredible. She will be quite a challenge to you. I assume that you honour these qualities in my Lizzy, for why else would you have fallen in love with a woman of no connections? I would have thought that you would have married a wealthy heiress, sir.”

  “If wealth and connections were what I was looking for, I could have chosen to marry long ago, but I did not. My father encouraged me to marry for love. Not everyone in my family will understand my decision, but I will not let anyone harm Elizabeth. If any of my family chooses not to accept my decision, then I will discontinue my communication with them.”

  “And Lady Catherine, I assume she will be the one most unhappy with your decision. As I understand it, she has long hoped for an alliance between you and her daughter, Anne? She will be quite disappointed with your decision.”

  “How do you know of that? Has Mr. Wickham shared this information with you?” Darcy felt his anger rising.

  “No, I did not hear it from Mr. Wickham. You may be surprised to know that your father, George, and your Uncle Edward were good friends of mine at Eton and at Cambridge. I know much about your family."

  Darcy sat down suddenly, stunned, “You are Tom?”

  Mr. Bennet nodded his head.

  “My father often spoke of you. This is unbelievable, sir. I had no idea.”

  “No, I would think not. But knowing your family has helped me decide to give you the chance to convince my daughter to marry you, instead of calling you out, eh? I have heard that you are an excellent man, Mr. Darcy. I spoke with Elizabeth this morning; and she has agreed to nothing, as I did not ask that of her. Believe me when I tell you that you have always inspired deep feelings in her. Certainly, they were not always kind thoughts, but she has never been indifferent to you. Lizzy has never acted as she did last night with anyone. I am quite sure that you were her first kiss. She would not have allowed it had she been disinterested. Your cheek does not seem to be injured today. I assure you, you would have been soundly slapped if you had made her unhappy. Might I suggest that I allow you that interview now?” Mr. Bennet said as he began to usher Darcy out the door.

  "Perhaps we will talk more later. Her plan was to await you in the back parlour. I wish you good favour with my daughter, Mr. Darcy,” Mr. Bennet offered.

  “Thank you, Mr. Bennet. I hope to return to you within the hour.”

  “Very good, then.” And with that Darcy walked out of the library.

  *~*~*~*~*

  As Darcy approached the back parlour, he heard a loud voice coming from the room. He instantly recognized it as Elizabeth’s, and his stomach leapt into his chest as he moved to the door.

  “No, sir! Do you understand the meaning of the word no, Mr. Collins? Nothing would cause me to reconsider my answer to you. No! You are the last man in the world that I could be ever be prevailed upon to marry!” Darcy heard her words and was incredulous. Does that toad think he has sense enough to ask MY lovely Elizabeth for her hand? The very gall of the man!

  He then startled as Mr. Collins responded, “My dear, Cousin Elizabeth, I know you will reconsider. I know your parents will press my suit, and you and I will be married quite soon. It is highly unlikely that you will EVER receive another offer of marriage.”

  Upon hearing that statement, Darcy entered the room. “That statement, sir, is what is highly unlikely. You will excuse us, Mr. Collins,” he stated as he entered the room and moved to stand between Elizabeth and Mr. Collins. Darcy glared at the man with an angry impenetrable stare, commanding him to leave the room. With such a look, Mr. Collins was so startled that he literally backed out of the room while bowing.

  Chapter Two

  1 December 1811, Longbourn, Pre-dawn

  Elizabeth Bennet stood at her window, glimpsing the first light of dawn. She had hardly slept. Elizabeth was not made for unhappiness; yet on this day, this morning, she had never felt so insecure, or had so many unanswered questions on her mind.

  So much had happened since ‘the event.’ She struggled for the right analogy to explain how she felt. Perhaps she could explain her feelings by comparing them to the River Severn whose twists and turns, rises and falls were so numerous. It was the longest river in England. At times, like this morning, her feelings were coming to a waterfall. She could hear the roar of the falls crashing over the precipice onto the rocks below, yet not knowing how long or fast she would plummet as she traversed the crest. She did not know whether she would be crushed or buried beneath the rushing waters. Elizabeth was troubled indeed.

  As she attempted yet again to find her courage, fears tempted her into near panic. She decided to sit down and reflect again on the events of that morning, the day after ‘the event.’

  *~*~*~*~*

  Elizabeth headed to the breakfast room early. She was hoping to speak to her father prior to his meeting with Mr. Darcy. She was in luck as her father was already there, while the rest of the family was still abed. “Good morning, Elizabeth. Will you join me in my library for a private conference over our morning repast, my dear?”

  “Yes, Papa, let me quickly get a cup of tea and a pastry. I will gladly join you.” He took her plate as they walked down the hall to his library.

  Mr. Bennett closed the door behind him and locked it. Both knew that little was private at Longbourn. They had discovered long ago that if they wanted to be in each other’s confidence, locking the door was necessary. With the exception of Jane, none of the ladies of the house ever knocked prior to entering a room.

  “Sit, Lizzy, I believe we must have some conversation this morning.”

  “Yes, sir,” Elizabeth said, looking at her lap. She did not know what her father would say, but dreaded his words of disgust and disappointment. Surprisingly, those words were not to come.

  “Come, come, Elizabeth, I am not going to take you to task. It is quite evident you have already done that yourself. You look as though you have not slept well.” Mr. Bennett watched Elizabeth startle a bit. “Oh, do not worry, your Mr. Darcy will not return to thinking you do not tempt him. It is just my habit to study you closely, and I know you have slept poorly.”

  “Yes, you are correct, Papa. I have been reviewing the events of last evening most of the night,” Elizabeth said almost in a whisper.

  “My dear, it is not your habit to be missish. I do not intend for you to become your mother. I already spend too much of my annual income on smelling salts for her,” to which he chuckled softly.

  “It is quite obvious that you and your Mr. Darcy have resolved much.” He paused for effect, and then, with a smirk and a slight laugh, continued, “But I must know how you came to care for him enough to be caught in such a situation last evening? I must be sure he did not force himself upon...”

  Elizabeth interrupted him, “Oh, no, Papa. The events of last evening were entirely and completely of my making. I am solely at fault for our… for the impropriety of being caught in a room alone. We were dancing, you see. I pretended to sprain my ankle to get away from him, and he followed to be sure I was well. We ended up talking, and clearing the air.

  "Then I told Mr. Darcy of my white lie about my ankle. He then told me about his white lie, stating to Mr. Bingley that I was only tolerable, and we forgave each other. Then, we just ended up kissing. It would not have happ
ened in the first place, if not for my lie.

  "Papa, please do not be mean to him or call him out. He did nothing I did not allow, perhaps even encourage… I do not know… I have never experienced anything like this before. I fear that I hardly know myself…”

  “Elizabeth, stop, you are running away with yourself. Slow down and catch your breath. I am not upset with you. I am actually not upset with Mr. Darcy, if you are happy. However, I do believe that due to the possibility of scandal, it might be provident that you marry.

  "I have no intention of forcing you to accept him, or to force him if he is unwilling; unless, of course, a scandal does break out. But I sense you are not indifferent to him, are you? Your feelings for him have always been intense, if not always favourable. I know you well enough to believe you would not have allowed events to transpire the way they did last evening if you did not find HIM tolerable enough to tempt you, eh?”

  “Papa, please do not force him...”

  “Elizabeth, unless I am very, very wrong, Mr. Darcy is quite in love with you. I do not believe I will need to force him. I expect him to come here today to ask for your hand. You might not yet love him, but you should think seriously about whether you would be willing to accept him.

  “Mr. Darcy is a good man, my dear. You are not aware of this, but I have known the Darcy family for quite some time. His father, George and his uncle, Edward, were friends of mine at Eton and later at Cambridge.

  “I happen to know that Mr. Darcy has had a great deal of responsibility placed upon him at a young age. He is the master of a very grand estate and guardian of his sister.

  “Now why do you not go and rest a bit in the back parlour, as Mr. Darcy arrives shortly. Do some serious thinking, my Lizzy. I will send him to you when we are finished. I love you, I hope you know that.”

  Elizabeth was flabbergasted with her father’s attitude towards ‘the event’ and Mr. Darcy, but she simply answered, “Yes Papa, I do.”

  *~*~*~*~*

  Elizabeth smiled for a moment as she reflected on the events that led to that particular conversation with her father. So much had happened the night of the Netherfield Ball.

  Several days ago, Elizabeth had spoken with Charlotte Lucas about the night of the Ball. Unfortunately, it appeared that her mother and sisters had not presented themselves to good advantage. Elizabeth was grateful that William had not witnessed any of it, for she was still insecure regarding what he thought of her family.

  It was reported that Lydia had stolen Captain Denny’s sword and ran around the ballroom, daring him to catch her. Lydia had always been a silly girl; and where Lydia went, Kitty usually followed. This was the first formal event Lydia and Kitty had been allowed to attend. This was not a formal introduction, but was the first time they were ‘out.’ Elizabeth knew her father was concerned about the impropriety (of course who was she to talk about impropriety) of Lydia’s public actions (at least Elizabeth’s were witnessed only by her father).

  Perhaps her father would rethink Lydia and Kitty being ‘out’ so young. Elizabeth was aware this had caused a serious disagreement between her parents, and her father had given in to her mother, in order to re-establish order in their home. Elizabeth also knew that her father had let her mother know, as well as Lydia and Kitty, that should their behaviour reflect badly on the family, this would be the last occasion they would be allowed to attend for some time. Elizabeth believed he had threatened to send them to a finishing school if they could not act like young ladies.

  Charlotte said that Mary sat in a corner the entire evening, her head buried in a book. Mary did not have any interest in socializing, as she was always either reading or practicing the pianoforte. Elizabeth also knew something about her that no one else knew; Mary was writing a novel. Even though Mary always seemed to carry around a copy of Fordyce’s sermons, it was a ruse to keep hidden the books that she really preferred. She was currently reading a novel by Mrs. Radcliffe.

  Elizabeth occasionally read new scenes when Mary needed input regarding her writing. She would help Mary clarify whether the scenes fit the period of time, some two hundred years prior. Elizabeth occasionally assisted her in research needed for her story, by studying books in her father’s library. Just the week before, Mary told Elizabeth she had settled on a pen name. She was going to use ‘Lady Mary Anne.’ Elizabeth was constantly surprised at Mary’s creativity.

  Then there was her mother. According to Charlotte, her mother must have been quite tipsy, talking too loudly about a possible match between Jane and Mr. Bingley. Charlotte said she saw her flirting, how embarrassing, with Sir William. Elizabeth felt a cold chill run through her body.

  As she concluded her thoughts of the night of the ball, she thought again about the toad that was Mr. Collins. She was still horrified that the greasy excuse for a gentleman had approached her! I truly think he must use lard to slick back his hair! He has a funny smell about him. It is horrid, pungent stench of wet socks and fried fish. That is it!’ She shivered.

  Elizabeth continued to stand at the window, thinking of the enigma that was her fiancé. Her father was right. She had never been indifferent to him. She remembered the first time that she saw him.

  I was out for my morning walk and sat upon the fence between Longbourn and Netherfield. Two unknown gentlemen, riding magnificent horses, galloped across the meadow. The blonde was handsome enough; but the brunette with the wind blowing through his hair, nearly took my breath away. He did not wear a hat that morning and was laughing. The sight had been so mesmerizing, that Elizabeth had been unable to move.

  I had never had that kind of reaction to any man, much less a stranger. Questions ran through my head. Who is this man? Will I ever meet him? Is he real? Elizabeth remembered feeling warm and flushed seeing him for the first time. Why it was Fitzwilliam I saw that morning. Extraordinary!

  Later when he walked into the Meryton Assembly, before he spoke, she stopped and grinned to herself. I was again struck that this was the most handsome man I had ever seen. Albeit, he did not look very happy that night; but even frowning Fitzwilliam is a striking, devastatingly, handsome man.

  I guess that was why I was so offended and my pride so wounded when I heard him speak that ‘now forgiven’ offensive statement. Thinking back, his statement was probably as much of a white lie to get Mr. Bingley to leave him alone as my sprained ankle was a white lie to escape him.

  And his kiss! His lips were so soft, so warm, and so firm all at the same time. And his scent! It was a combination of lime and musk, with a wildness about it… combined with exotic spices from the West Indies. Whenever Elizabeth found herself thinking about his kisses, she would discover that she was warm and flushed.

  And Lord, I still cannot believe that toad, Mr. Collins, she giggled. I do not think I will ever forget what a ridiculous sight he was as he backed out of the room. What ever possessed him to think that I was awaiting his addresses? What possessed my mother to think that I would consider saying yes to such a man?

  … yet, after Mr. Collins had left the room, Mr. Darcy had remained.

  It was with a smile that she began to think about that particular interview.

  Chapter 3

  Darcy and Elizabeth reflect back to the proposal

  After Mr. Collins backed out of the room, Elizabeth and Darcy glanced at each other. Elizabeth's cheeks were red, her heart racing. She walked to the picture window to calm herself. Darcy closed door, hoping he and Elizabeth would have an uninterrupted conversation.

  Witnessing the interaction between Elizabeth and Mr. Collins had raised Darcy’s ire. His righteous indignation at Collins’ presumptiveness and idiocy had absolutely nothing to do with Elizabeth; he needed to get his feelings back under good regulation in order to successfully press his suit.

  Darcy imagined that Elizabeth was also affected. He had seen the flushed red colour of her cheeks and the set of her jaw. He heard her quite loud, and substantially sound, rejection of the toad's addresses. As he lo
oked over at her standing, gazing out the window, he knew he needed to give her time to compose herself.

  What whimsical irony had joined forces in the universe to have him presenting a marriage proposal directly following his aunt’s ridiculous parson? Only one time in life does this situation present itself, and this is my lot. Darcy determined that thinking of the humour of the situation would calm him. Perhaps this would be something they would learn to laugh about in its retelling. One could never tell.

  With the kindest of thoughts, he walked to Elizabeth and stood to her right. He allowed enough space between them for a feeling of separation. Gazing at her, he saw her cheeks, still flushed; and her breasts rising and falling at a much faster than normal rate. Good God, man, get yourself together. You absolutely cannot think of her breasts at this moment, or your fate will stand with Mr. Collins.

  Taking another breath, he turned slightly and said, "Miss Elizabeth, I imagine you are quite upset at the moment. Might I get you something? I could return to your father's library and get you a glass of wine if you like?”

  Elizabeth turned towards him and answered. "It is considerate of you to ask, sir; but I have tea over there, already,” she said as she pointed to the secretary. "You could bring me a cup?”

  "I would be happy to do so, Miss Elizabeth. I believe you take your tea with two spoons of sugar, and a little cream?" Darcy said with a smile.

  "You know how I take my tea?" Elizabeth’s brow arched, as she was quite surprised. Darcy loved her quizzical expression. It warmed his heart, and it worked towards dispelling his anxious irritation. It also broke some of the tension that lingered in the room. She watched him as he went to the secretary that held the tea service.