Play the Man

by Jaymee Jacobs

  He felt terrible that he had alienated Jenna. He hadn’t meant to do that. He wanted to be the person she turned to in her times of need, and he was instead pushing her away. After a few moments of being torn between what he should do and what he wanted to do, he took the stairs two at a time and followed her. Nick stood in the doorway, waiting for her to look up and notice him, but she never did. So he spoke to get her attention. “I may play on the same team as Ryan, but that doesn’t mean that we see eye-to-eye. I don’t like the way he’s treating you anymore than you do.” Nick walked into her room and sat beside her on the bed. “Don’t get worked up over him. Don’t let him hurt you like this. He’s not worth it. You deserve so much more than that, Jenna.”

  “What do I deserve, Nicky? Because right now, I don’t have a damn clue,” she replied with a shaky breath.

  Nick thought of a billion answers to Jenna’s question in the split second it took him to show her. He wanted to tell her that she deserved better, she deserved the world, she deserved the moon and the stars, she deserved a man who would treasure her. Words and promises didn’t seem like enough as she looked at him and pleaded for an answer with her brimming eyes. His hockey instincts took over and his body reacted. He closed the distance between them and pressed his lips against hers, gently at first, and then with all the passion he could muster as the dam flooded over.

  Jenna was surprised and shocked. Nick, her kind friend Nicky, was kissing her. That wasn’t even the worst of it; the worst part was that she liked it. A lot. He was filling the void that had been left within her, that part of her which needed an emotional connection to another human being. Nick provided that. He had been a good friend, listening to her and supporting her when she needed it most, and now he was helping her out in a different, but just as significant, way.

  Their mouths crashed together frantically, caught up in their own emotions and motivations for needing each other at that very moment. They both had reservations, both being keenly aware of all the reasons why they should stop before it went too far, but they were able to keep those very thoughts and reservations at bay as long as they kept kissing each other. By an unspoken mutual agreement, they began to peel away their clothes before letting their hands roam each other’s bodies.

  Every body part of Jenna’s that Nick touched, every square inch of flesh, burned and tingled as his fingers pressed and kneaded and caressed. She moaned into his mouth as his tongue swirled around hers, and Nick responded by grabbing her waist and moving her into the middle of the bed. He pulled away to look at her as she lay down for him, and he drank in the sight like he was dying of thirst. It was just as he imagined—only better, because this time, it was real. He was a starving man in front of a buffet, and he didn’t know where to start.

  Nick perched himself between her spread legs. He pressed his mouth against the spot right above her navel, leaving feathery light kisses as he moved up her torso. Taking turns, he made sure to devote equal amounts of attention to each of her breasts. He nibbled and sucked and licked until Jenna was arching her back and running her hands through his short hair. Jenna was breathing heavily, but she didn’t speak. Talking would have ruined the moment and brought them back to a reality where this was wrong. She didn’t want to think about the consequences or implications of what they were doing.

  Once again, he pulled away from her, repositioning himself in order to lift her left leg into the air. He kissed the side of her knee and worked his way up to her inner thigh, moving higher and higher until he was almost where she wanted him to be. At that point, he started again with her right leg, kissing her knee and working upward again. This time, when his mouth was almost at the juncture between her legs, he didn’t stop. With his hands, he spread her legs farther apart and pushed her knees toward her chest so he could have better access to her body. He flicked his tongue along her folds, and Jenna let out a feral moan. That encouraged him and spurred him on, and he continued to drag his tongue across her clit with varying pressures and tempos. Nick enjoyed the sounds she made and the way her body moved as it reacted to his movements. He felt the tension in her body slowly increase and build up, and he stopped as her breath quickened and she neared her climax.

  He kissed his way to her stomach, bringing his entire body farther up on the bed so he was fully on top of her. Nick knelt between her legs, one hand pressed against the bed by her head while the other caressed her leg. Jenna looked into his dark eyes and felt overwhelmed with her desire for him. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt like this. Without his stimulation, she felt her body begin to unwind and relax. Jenna wanted Nick to keep going, but she was still afraid to speak, especially frightened of saying his name. Saying Nick’s name, instead of the name she usually cried in this particular bed, was blasphemous. She was well aware of that in her head, yet she still couldn’t stop her yearning for Nick.

  This was the point of no return. In Nick’s head, they could stop at this point and claim no harm, no foul. He wanted to make sure Jenna was okay with what they were about to do before he continued. After all, they were both risking a lot for this. Nick couldn’t believe what he was risking for this tiny sliver of bliss; he was an alternate captain of the team, always preaching about putting the team before the individual. At this moment, though, he was defying his own orders. He was about to commit the biggest crime of all. But if Jenna was willing to do this, then so was he. She squirmed with impatience and wanting, and Nick accepted that as her consent to finish what they had started.

  Nick pushed himself inside of her with a grunt, and Jenna felt a twisted sense of satisfaction and relief. She grabbed his face and pulled him down so she could kiss him deeply as he filled her completely. Then she wrapped her legs around his hips and hooked her ankles together, so his entire body moved along the length of hers every time he thrust into her. Jenna felt her orgasm building slowly, steadily, surely, strongly. Within a matter of moments, she was digging her nails into his flesh and crying out with wordless screams as he moved faster and harder. They came simultaneously, gasping and seeing spots as they collapsed in exhaustion, untangled themselves from each other, and separated their hot, sweaty bodies.

  They lay there on the bed trying to catch their breath and trying to figure out what to do next. Both Nick and Jenna stared straight up at the ceiling, afraid to look at each other as the weight of what they had just done started to hit them. He was waiting for her to make the first move, and she was doing the same. They remained in those positions for what felt like ages, as if time had stopped, still afraid to do anything until they heard the front door open in the living room below the master bedroom.

  Chapter 12

  Ryan chugged his beer and picked at the greasy French fries on his plate. He wasn’t really hungry, but he had needed to get out of the house. Jenna and Nick had left for the Art Institute, to which Ryan was still refusing to go. No, it wasn’t his idea of a good time; if he was going to grouse and fidget the entire time, Jenna shouldn’t bother to even invite him. He’d only piss her off, and the good Lord knew he didn’t need any help in that department.

  “Seriously, Biggie. You need to just chill the fuck out.”

  “Freeze, I don’t need your advice about this. You’ve done enough damage with your snide comments, and she’s still mad at me over what you said.”

  “See? She’s mad at you because of something I said. That doesn’t make any sense. You know I like Jenna. I think she’s a great girl. But this wedding has turned her into a complete bridezilla. Just tell her that you’re too busy with the season, and she should just take care of it. Women live for this stuff. I know. I have a sister.”

  Ryan rolled his eyes. Usually, Alex could cheer him up. But not tonight. It had been four days since the “Gollum Incident,” as he was referring to it in his head, meaning four days without a real conversation. Four days without an honest smile. Four days without sex. It was killing him, and it wasn’t just the lack of sex that was bothering him. They’d ne
ver fought like this, ever. They argued, of course, just like any other normal couple; however, they always made up shortly after and things went back to normal. This time, though, it didn’t look like they were going to make up any time soon.

  He wanted their relationship to go back to the way it was, because it had been so good. They used to enjoy each other’s company. They used to fit together and balance each other out. Now, everything was off kilter and skewed. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

  Because he didn’t know how much Jenna was a part of his life until she had pulled away from him. Eight years was a long time, and the two of them had fallen into a groove where life had passed by smoothly and surely, and now the road was starting to get rough. It made Ryan appreciate how well their relationship had been going. It made him want to fix the problem, whatever it took.

  Ryan continued to pick at his food, taking bites of his burger here and there, but he never really tasted it. At least once a day for the past four days, he had apologized. He’d apologized for Alex’s comments, he’d apologized for telling Alex about their fight, and he’d asked her what it would take for her to forgive him. He was willing to overlook how he felt Jenna needed to apologize for trying to guilt him into appeasing her, but to him that was irrelevant at this point. Jenna wouldn’t give him a clue or hint about what he could do to make this right. How else was he supposed to know what to do?

  Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. Ryan had agreed to come out and keep Alex company because he needed the distraction. He didn’t want to sit alone in his house while his fiancée and his teammate went out without him for a few hours. Nick was desperate to get out of the house and do something, because he still wasn’t allowed to workout yet or do anything with the team. Nick lived for the team, so he was lost now that he was being excluded. He needed something to do, and Jenna provided that for him with that stupid exhibition. And, in turn, Jenna found someone to accompany her to the Institute. It was perfect, because that left Ryan able to enjoy a meal with his friend in peace. Except he wasn’t enjoying it. He was irritated and confused and frustrated.

  Reaching into his pocket for his wallet, Ryan was about to throw some money on the table and leave, but Alex stopped him. “I’ll pick this up. You hardly ate anything anyway,” he said, picking at the food left behind on Ryan’s plate. “Go... talk to her or whatever. Do what you need to do in order to work it out. You’re not as much fun when you’re like this.”

  “Thanks, man,” Ryan mumbled his reply.

  “Hey, I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing it for me. You suck when you’re so mopey. You’re not fun to hang out with when you’re mopey. You’re fucking mopey.”

  Ryan shook his head, but he smiled a little. Alex was no Oprah; he didn’t know how to talk about feelings or relationships. Mostly because he’d never had any of either. This was about as emotional and helpful as Alex was going to get on the matter, so Ryan was going to take it for what it was worth: Alex was telling him that he needed to suck it up and make things right with Jenna. Ryan wanted to be happy, and he wanted Jenna to be happy, too. It was time for him to make that happen.

  He hopped into his truck and headed for his house, thinking that he would have time to sit at home and wait for her and Nick’s return from the museum. He’d have time to figure something out. However, when he pulled into the driveway, he saw that Jenna’s car was parked in its usual spot. They were back already. He trotted to the front door and unlocked it, so he walked in and tossed his keys on the stand by the door. He checked the first floor, finding it empty. Sounds from the room above him caught his attention, so he jogged up the stairs to find his fiancée and figure out how to make things right again.

  When Nick and Jenna heard the door open, they both snapped into reality and leapt into action. They didn’t even look at each other as Nick grabbed his clothes, ran into the guest bedroom, and slammed the door behind him while his heart pounded in his chest, and Jenna pulled on her fluffy, terrycloth robe and surveyed the room for evidence of their major indiscretion. She found Nick’s tie, and she quickly tossed it in the hamper with her dress and underwear. The sheets would need to be changed. She stripped the bed as quickly as she could, tossing those in the hamper, too, overfilling it. Jenna turned and tried to escape into the bathroom so she could shower, but her path was blocked.

  Ryan appeared in the doorway, and Jenna turned her back to him and pulled the flaps of her robe tighter around her. She was so disgusted with herself, and she closed her eyes and hoped that Ryan would just go away. Jenna needed to clean up and try to wash away the guilt that was already eating away at her. She couldn’t believe she just cheated. In the bed she shared with Ryan. With his teammate. What had she been thinking?!

  She hadn’t been thinking, and that was the problem. Jenna had been feeling, and Nick had made her feel good. Wanted. He’d knelt before her and worshiped her body. Nick had paid homage to her like she was a goddess deigning to let him touch her. It was the way Ryan used to make her feel but couldn’t—or wouldn’t—anymore. Regardless, that still didn’t make her actions right. She couldn’t try to justify what she did, because there was no way to justify it.

  Jenna hated herself for the sin she had just committed. After she and Nick had finished and her mind had cleared, she had regretted how she let her emotions take over and dominate her rational thoughts. While she had lain there next to him, staring at the ceiling, she didn’t know what to do next; she had been waiting for him to make the first move and let her know how he was feeling. If he thought it was as big of a mistake as she did. Jenna wanted to blame Nick: if he hadn’t have kissed her, she wouldn’t have kissed back. If she hadn’t have kissed back, then they wouldn’t have had sex. But she wanted to feel connected to someone; however, she had wanted that person to be Ryan. She always wanted that person to be Ryan. If he had been able to be that guy for her, she wouldn’t have had to stray. That wasn’t right either. Jenna knew she couldn’t blame anyone else for her own error. No, she was the one who succumbed to her weakness and desperation and let Nick be what Ryan should have been for her. Ryan’s eyes were on her; she could feel it, and she could hear the words he was thinking in his head: whore, slut, tramp.

  Yes, he could smell the distinct scent of sex that hung in the air. That sweaty, heavy, oppressive atmosphere that clung to the room after a raunchy roll in between the sheets. It made Ryan smile, because he thought that meant one thing: she had taken the opportunity of him being gone and had satisfied her own urges. He knew Jenna didn’t have any toys—she didn’t need any with him around. But she was obviously feeling lonely and horny, and she took matters into her own hands, literally, and got herself off instead of caving and giving into him. Instead of letting their fight slide, she tried to pretend that she didn’t need Ryan and keep up the appearance that she was okay without him. But she wasn’t; she had needs that she needed him to fulfill. That meant that Jenna’s anger was wavering and faltering, and this frustrating battle of wills was going to end. She missed him and needed him. This was going to be easier than he thought.

  “Jenna,” he said, her name escaping like a growl deep in his throat as he crossed the room in three steps and reached out for her.

  His hand brushed against her shoulder, and she cringed in response like a beaten dog. How could he even want to touch her? She was filthy, and she deserved his anger. “Please don’t touch me.”

  Ryan retracted his arm. “How can you still be mad?”

  “You’re not mad?” she whispered back to him. When Ryan shook his head, her breath caught in her throat. He wasn’t mad, so he didn’t know. He couldn’t he tell what she had done? They knew each other well after being together for eight years—so why didn’t he just know what she had done?

  He reached for her again, but she still shrunk away from him and stayed out of his reach. “Jenna....”

  She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to confess her sins and atone, or at least try to atone for her grave mistake. J
enna wanted to drop down to her knees and beg for mercy and beg for forgiveness. But on the other hand, she didn’t want to tell him if he didn’t know. Ryan was going to be so mad. She was afraid of what he was going to do, to her or to Nick. The thought of his reaction to that tidbit of news worried and upset her. He wouldn’t understand. Not that he had to understand anything; after all, there was no valid explanation for cheating on him. There wouldn’t be a way that she could tell him to make him see how sorry she was.

  “What is it?” he asked her, puzzled by her behavior. He knew that Jenna didn’t like confrontation, but she was never one to shy away from him when things went wrong. She told him when he fucked up and needed to make it up to her. And prior to this, he’d always had. “Talk to me.”

  Jenna didn’t talk to Ryan. She pushed past him with heavy feet, needing to leave the room. Needing to put some space between them as much as she needed air to breath. Whatever course of action she decided to take, she needed to decide it soon.

  With one more try, he curled his fingers around her upper arm as she walked by. Ryan didn’t grip her tightly or yank her back, but he held on just enough to keep her from leaving. “Jenna, please,” he begged. “Talk to me.” She shook her head, tears threatening to fall, and he did the only thing he knew to do. He let go and let her walk away.

  Nick had hurried into the bedroom that had been his home for the past four days; since his concussion, this building had been his home, his hell, and now his heaven. He had been miserable seeing Jenna and Ryan together when they were happy; he was miserable when they were fighting because he hated seeing Jenna so upset; and he miserable now that he was so elated about what just happened.