Avren: An Auxem Novel

by Lisa Lace

  The hot wind was blowing, and both suns were shining down. The fetid breath of the volcano was belching heat and stench up towards us. I felt as dry as an eighty-year-old carcass in the desert reduced to nothing but desiccated bones. Every cell in my body was crying out for water, but I knew we wouldn't get any. Maybe if it was the rainy season...but that was long past. We were doomed.

  "I wish you could see my old home," Kenna said, a dreamy look on her face. "In the middle of winter."

  "Tell me about it," I said. I was eager to think of anything other than our approaching death.

  "In the fall, it starts to get colder and colder, and the leaves turn orange and red and yellow until they fall off the trees. Then the temperature goes below zero. The ice on the lake freezes and snow starts to fall."

  "What's snow like?" I had a hunger to learn every last little detail about her and her life before we separated forever.

  "It's like ice in a way," she said, struggling to explain it to me. "It's like when you have ice, and you scrape it. Have you ever seen the ice like that?"

  "Yes, sometimes when it's scorching, the chef at the palace will scrape the ice and pile the scrapings around a cold dessert that we are having. The ice is not clear, but white instead."

  "Exactly. That's a perfect description of snow. Frothy, sort of. And when you look at one individual snowflake..." her eyes got a far away look as if she was remembering. "...it's the most amazing thing you have ever seen."

  "The frothy ice is amazing?" It hadn't seemed unusual to me but then I hadn't been looking at it through her eyes.

  "Snowflakes come in the most intricate geometric patterns you can imagine. They used to say that not one snowflake was alike before science went and ruined it. I still like to think that I'll never see two snowflakes that are alike. I wish you could see snow for yourself! My pathetic descriptions are nothing like the real thing."

  "No, your stories are beautiful," I said. "I've never had any desire to go to Earth before. But to see snow, now that might be worth it."

  "There's no snow at all here?"

  I shook my head, and we lapsed into silence again. Both of us were thinking I would never get the chance to go to Earth because we would be dead in the next two days.

  "I can't believe my mother would do this to me. I know she loves me. Surely she wouldn't sacrifice me to prove a point and win an argument?" I said, my heart filled with pain at the thought. I had believed that my mother loved me in spite of her general lack of mothering skills. Her actions did not seem like love.

  "I don't think her ploy turned out at all like she imagined, Dar. She thought that threatening to arrest you would be enough to have you swearing me off forever. She believes I'm like Salya and only interested in becoming the queen."

  I glanced at her sharply.

  "You are nothing like Salya," I said, managing to find a bit of energy to speak with an edge to my tone.

  "But she doesn't know that. She thinks I'm just the flavor of the month. When you refused to swear that..." She trailed off. "Well, when you refused to swear the oath, she had to go through with it or look like a fool or worse, inconsistent."

  "Of course, and my mother hates nothing more than looking foolish." Now her behavior made more sense.

  "Exactly. It's not that she doesn't love you. I'm sure she's frantically trying to find an out, right now. I wouldn't be surprised if we had a visitor, come to offer one of us another deal."

  I frowned. That seemed extremely unrealistic, but Kenna was still talking.

  "And Dar, if someone comes, we should take whatever deal they offer us. No matter what." I frowned. "We can't be together if we're dead, Dar."

  I sighed deeply.

  "I know."

  "Whatever it takes to get us off this platform, we'll do it, deal?"

  She held out her hand to shake, and I stared at it.

  "But…"

  "Whatever happens, we'll figure out a way around it."

  I looked up into her eyes and what I saw there gave me hope.

  "Kenna."

  "You said that nothing in the universe would keep us apart, Dar. Did you mean it, or not?"

  "Kenna…"

  "Did you mean it? Or were you just talking out your ass?"

  "I meant it. I meant it."

  "Then we'll figure something out. Whatever we have to agree to, to save our lives, we'll do it, right? Now do we have a deal, or not?"

  She held out her hand again. Slowly, I reached out and shook. She had a firm grip and a determined look on her face.

  "Of course, that's if someone comes." I said.

  KENNA

  Dar and I had stopped talking after the second day. Our mouths were too dry. I wondered how much time we had left. When our brains became too dehydrated, we'd begin to hallucinate. By then, it would be over.

  After the sun had gone down, I lay down on the hard boards and fell asleep. It was the only respite we had from the desperate thirst. As I slept, I had a dream.

  A hovercraft appeared above the platform, and angels all in white came and took me in. They spirited me away to where it was cool and gave me water to drink. Nothing had ever tasted so good as that dream water — ice-cold and thirst quenching. After I had drunk as much as I wanted, they laid me down on a bed, and I fell asleep.

  When I awoke, the queen was sitting in a chair beside me.

  Great. It wasn't bad enough that I had to see this woman in real life, but now she was invading my dreams too?

  "Has she had enough water to understand what I'm saying?" she said to a man nearby. He nodded.

  "You're sure," she said. "She needs to be able to make a proper decision."

  "Yes, your majesty. The IV has been running for a couple of hours. The dehydration is under control, and her brain is functioning again. She is fine."

  I begged to differ. I was not fine. But I was too weak to argue. It didn't seem fair that I had to be thirsty in my dreams as well as during my waking nightmare.

  "Miss DeAndrea," the queen said. "I have no desire to harm my son or make him unhappy."

  The unspoken message seemed to be: On the other hand, I don't care what happens to you.

  "I would like this silliness to stop. There's no reason that you two should be left out there until you die."

  I waited. Even in a dream, I was pretty sure she wouldn't want to be interrupted.

  She examined me carefully. The older woman was wearing royal yellow but not a dress this time. She had on a pair of pants and a longer shirt with gold embroidery on the chest.

  She didn't look her age, but Dar said that people on Susohn routinely live to be up to one hundred and twenty years old.

  I felt ugly and filthy compared to her. My hair stuck out all over the place from its formerly neat braid. My face was sweaty and smoky.

  "If I get you off that platform, you will make my son happy by marrying him and bearing him seven children as is our custom. Queens must have as many heirs as possible."

  If I thought I had been dreaming before, this confirmed it.

  "But you only had one child," I said, grasping at anything other than the idea of actually marrying Dar. I just wasn't ready to think about that, even in a dream.

  The queen looked sad. Her appearance reminded me that she was just a woman and had feelings like everyone else.

  "Not for lack of trying. We buried three daughters only days after they were born. Two never saw the light of day — they were stillborn. Dar was the only one born alive and healthy. My son. My only son."

  "And now you're trying to kill him? What kind of a mother are you? You're crazier than I thought, old lady," I said, saddened and appalled by this admission.

  Did I think that or say it out loud? At least I didn't have to be polite in my dreams. I could say whatever I wanted to the old bitch.

  "I'm not trying to kill him," she said vehemently. "I was attempting to save him. I love him."

  "You've got a funny way of showing it," I said, shaking my head. Wha
t a sad thing she was — trying to help her son and nearly getting him killed in the process. Wait, were those tears in her eyes?

  "I've seen the error of my ways," she said, taking a deep breath. "I want him to be happy. I want him to marry you."

  "Now you're being all supportive?" I said, sure that my skepticism was showing on my face. "You're giving us your blessing, and you want me to give you grandbabies? When two days ago you had us arrested and left for dead? Forgive me if I don't believe you."

  She took a deep breath and looked like she was trying to keep her temper.

  "I have had a change of heart. I did not expect that Dar would refuse to give you up. You have deeply ensnared..." Her voice trailed off. She glanced at me. "Forgive me. He is more deeply in love with you than I thought."

  "Uh-huh."

  "Of course I don't want him to die. I would be devastated. I want him to be alive and happy and for our planet to continue to prosper. After due consideration, I want you to agree to marry him. And I'll come and get you off that platform."

  What an absurd dream.

  "All I have to do is agree to marry him, and you'll save us?" I said, still incredulous.

  "Yes. Well, not exactly." I knew there was a catch. "You can't marry him as you are."

  I looked down at my filthy self.

  "Well, no. I'd have to change my clothes."

  "Not your clothes." She rolled her eyes at me. "You must have Susohnnan citizenship to marry him legally. He can have the statute about consorting with inferior species repealed because it goes against our constitution."

  "And how do I get citizenship?"

  "It's a small matter, barely worth mentioning. I'll let Darvish explain it to you."

  "And if I don't agree to marry him?"

  She looked at me sadly.

  "Then you will both perish."

  "You would let your son die?"

  She swallowed, and I knew that those were tears in her eyes this time.

  "I have no choice. The law allows only one intervention." She held up her pointer finger. "This is his last chance — and yours, too. If you refuse to bargain, and I save you, then I will be as guilty as you and will be put in jail. Criminals have one chance at redemption. You have three hours to decide before the deal expires."

  I couldn't let Dar die. Not if I had the power to save him.

  "Sedate her," the queen said. "And return her to the platform."

  As the lights went out, I thought it was a strange thing for her to say.

  DAR

  The bright sun on my face woke me up, but I found it hard to sit up. Eventually, I dragged myself into a sitting position and was surprised to see that Kenna was lying with her head facing south. When we were still talking, she told me it was best to sleep with your head towards the east or the north on her planet. She had been sleeping the other way the previous night.

  Maybe she was disoriented when she went to lie down in the evening.

  If I had the energy, I would have shaken my head. As it was, I sat there, hoping to conserve the water left in my body.

  Kenna stirred. My heart skipped a beat when she opened those beautiful brown eyes and looked right at me. Then she smiled, and I held my breath. If only I could watch her wake up every day, I would ask for nothing more. By The Three, she was lovely.

  "Dar," she said. "I had the weirdest dream."

  She was speaking, and it wasn't difficult for her. Wasn't her mouth parched and dry with thirst?

  I blinked.

  "Hey, I'm talking. And I don't feel thirsty."

  I tilted my head a little. What was going on?

  "Shit." Her eyes got wide. "Maybe it wasn't a dream. I thought I was dreaming. Oh no. If it wasn't a dream, I believe I insulted your mother. Is it a capital offense to call the queen a bitch?"

  She put her hand to her mouth, and she giggled. It was good to see her feeling well again. It had killed me to watch her getting weak.

  The she stopped laughing and sighed.

  "If it wasn't a dream, then I better tell you what she said. The queen has offered us a solution."

  I just looked at her, not having the energy to do more. Sitting up had taken everything out of me.

  She looked worried at my condition.

  "She said I had three hours to decide. I hope it's been almost three hours. You look like hell, Dar. You need some water. I feel guilty being so hydrated."

  I shook my head a little bit.

  "I want to get some water for you, too."

  I just looked at her.

  "Right, the dream. This conversation will be boring if I do all the talking. I dreamed that angels in white picked me up and got me out of here. The angels were probably doctors."

  I gave a tiny nod.

  "I woke up, and your mother was there. She was sitting in a chair wearing yellow again. I felt all dirty and ugly next to her."

  Yes, my mother tended to have that effect on people. I tried to convey this with a blank stare.

  "She said that she had a change of heart. She wants us to get married."

  I managed a grunt. I was surprised.

  "Exactly! That's what I thought!" Kenna said. "She said she hadn't expected you to refuse to give me up. She said she didn't want to hurt you. She loves you and was trying to protect you."

  I closed my eyes. So my mother didn't hate me enough to kill me. Thank The Three. That had been eating at me since we had been arrested.

  "So, to get off this fucking platform...we just have to get married."

  I opened my eyes again. And what did she think about that?

  I lifted one eyebrow a little.

  "I still...I don't know, Dar. I'm not going to say it until I'm sure. But I would do anything to see you well again."

  Her eyes filled with tears. She must be hydrated to have enough water in her to make tears.

  Would she do anything? Even marry me, when she wasn't sure if she loved me? That didn't seem like a good reason to get married.

  "Oh, except there's just one thing. I have to have citizenship."

  My mother had deceived Kenna, of course.

  I didn't realize that it was possible, but I became more still than before. Did she need citizenship to marry me? But that would mean she had to go through the ritual and become Susohnnan. My mother looked like she was magnanimous, saying that she wanted us to get married. Probably thinking that Kenna would never agree to the ritual or that I would never let her agree. That way she gets off looking like a kind person while still getting her way.

  "What? I can handle the scarring, Dar. I'm stronger than I look."

  I was sure she was strong. But could she endure the ritual? Would she want to? That was another question altogether.

  KENNA

  Dar finally regained consciousness after hours of IVs and being forced to consume more fluids. When he opened his eyes and gave me one of his sweet half-smiles, I experienced an incredible feeling of relief.

  The queen's hovercraft had come for my decision. When I agreed to her terms, she took Dar directly to the palace. His private doctors attended to him, but it had been a close call. I had been rehydrated several hours before him. And those extra few hours he had to endure without water had come close to doing him in.

  I had been afraid, watching him for the past couple hours and wondering if he would ever wake up again. It would be ridiculous to have died in his country after everything he had survived from the terrorists.

  The first thing that came out of his mouth was Kenna.

  I couldn't stop smiling.

  All I could say was "Dar." Feeling shaky, I got up on his enormous bed with him. I needed to feel him and know that he was here with me, alive and well. I had come close to losing him.

  I wrapped my arms around his body and fought back tears. He seemed weak. I supposed he would need more recovery time until he was back to normal.

  "You almost died," I said, unable to think of anything else. I lifted my head and looked into his eyes, trying not
to cry.

  "But I didn't. Thanks to you." He kissed me on the cheek. I did cry then. I couldn't help it, I had been anxious. After a moment, I regained my composure. We weren't out of the woods yet.

  "So, your mother wants us to get married as soon as possible."

  "Kenna," he said. "I don't think you understand what you're being asked to do. Has no one explained the ritual to you?"

  "No." I felt nervous now. What was with this ritual? Was it that horrific? I hoped it didn't involve genital mutilation. Oh boy, let me not have got myself in over my head. Please let me be strong enough to do whatever it is I have to do to save us.

  "It is a test of The Three."

  "Who are these three that you're always swearing to?" I said.

  "The Three aren't a who. They are a what. They are the pillars upon which we built our civilization. Knowledge. Strength. Respect. The ritual tests all in an individual. Kenna, it is one thing to be born into this culture and be thinking about the ritual for your entire life. It is quite another to ask an off-worlder to do the same. I will understand if you change your mind. My mother deliberately didn't tell you."

  "Are you saying that no off-worlders have ever got Susohnnan citizenship?" I said. I bit my lip, not sure if I was that much of a pioneer.

  "There has been a handful."

  "If they could do it, so can I," I said, trying to feel as brave as my words. His eyes softened.

  "The ritual is usually endured at around the age of twenty-four when our brain has completely matured. That is the age of majority on Susohn: twenty-four. You are not considered an adult until you complete the ritual. But some people put it off for up to five years."

  "What if they don't complete it?"

  "You mean die during the completion? Yes, some do. And some just don't come back."

  That hadn't been what I meant. Some people died?

  "Not many, Kenna," he said. He looked a little worried now.

  "I meant, what if they choose not to complete the ritual. Like they don't do it at all."

  Dar had a puzzled expression on his face. "Then they are exiled. You cannot be Susohnnan without the ritual. If you refuse to complete it, then you are not Susohnnan, no matter where you were born," he said, with a shrug. "The two are inseparable."

  "Harsh," I said, feeling very nervous now about what I had agreed to. "For such a peaceful race, you sure are hard on people."