by KL Shandwick
“Is everyone having beer or am I making lemonade?” I asked. Dad was pretty liberal and allowed the boys a few beers at home as long as they were sensible. At fifteen, I’d never had that privilege extended to me.
“Yup. All beers, Beatnik except for you,” Martin clarified.
I smarted at his comment. For the second time that day, I’d felt a gap between my brothers and me that had grown wider since I’d been gone. It had felt like I was suddenly not old enough to hang out with their friends and wasn’t being treated as an equal.
The incident with Flynn clarified that. In their eyes, I was too young for the one guy that had caught my attention since Bradley. My feelings for Flynn were like nothing I’d ever experienced before. The effect of those feelings made me realize that I’d never really had strong feelings for Bradley. Not that I loved Flynn, I wasn’t that naïve, but I’d never had the kind of emotions running through my body that I had just by being near him.
I stood motionless while everything ran through my mind and the wedge that was forming between my brothers and me made my heart hurt. I’d never been upset by anything they’d said before.
“Actually, count me out. I’m tired. I’m going to bed. The bus ride must have taken more out of me than I realized,” I said because I’d wanted to go to my room before I broke down in tears.
Martin stopped and turned to face me. “Are you okay, Val?”
Trust Martin; he’d always been so perceptive about me.
“I am. Just beat. I’ll be better tomorrow,” I’d said trying to sound as if I would. Martin strode over and hugged me as if he sensed my true feelings. Taking a sharp breath, he hugged my head to his chest, and his strong heartbeat soothed me.
“It’s so good to see you, Val. Sorry, I’ve been off tonight. I’ve missed you, honey. We need to spend some time together tomorrow. I want my favorite girl to tell me all her news.
I looked up at him, and he smiled affectionately, that made me feel a little better. “You bet, Martin. I’m looking forward to all those stories about the hot girls you’ve discovered at college.”
Martin looked a little sheepish and replied, “Um, have I done that before? Sorry.”
I smirked as I pushed away and headed for the kitchen door. “Don’t worry, Martin, like you and Kayden wanted, I’ve got my built-in radar for guys like y’all. I’ve learned to spot them, so I’m good.”
Kayden started chuckling when Martin started to protest that he wasn’t really like that and put him straight, “Come on, Marty, us men are all like that to some extent.”
I was thankful for Kayden’s interjection because it gave the perfect distraction to excuse myself. I headed up the stairs and was turning the handle on my door when I’d heard another door open and I looked up in reaction.
Flynn was leaving Martin’s room. He was naked apart from a white towel slung low around his hips. My jaw dropped at how beautifully sculpted his upper body appeared in the low light that was glowing from the open bedroom door. When he turned his head in my direction, I realized I’d gasped out loud at the sight of him.
“Sorry, Valerie, I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“You didn’t. I mean you did, but …”
I knew I was babbling because what I’d really wanted to say was it wasn’t the unexpected, but more the half-naked unexpectedness of the moment that had torn the breath from my lungs.
Flynn stood silently watching me, and an awkward vibe fell between us that hadn’t been present before. The silence between us made the air feel thicker. I cleared my dry throat, and Flynn checked the tuck in his towel. He began to turn away from me.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t be standing here half dressed like this. Are you going to bed?”
“Yeah. Tired.” I muttered. Tingling feelings in places that I’d never knew I had until that day made my body hum with need. I wanted to wrap my arms around him because I wasn’t tired in the least.
Flynn stood there a moment longer before he nodded slowly.
“Yeah, I’m feeling a little drained right now too. Go to bed, babe. Sweet dreams,” he said, turning away and he started making his way inside the bedroom.
“Thanks,” I blurted out.
He hesitated and turned his head.
“For?”
“Tonight. The game…you…Colleen—”
“Anytime, babe,” he said, smiling. I knew I shouldn’t have read anything into him calling me babe but at my tender age, I had.
I stood there watching him until he was gone and the door handle clicked. I opened my door and headed inside. Closing it I stood, leaning back heavily against it. I exhaled low and long and couldn’t believe the effect he had on my body. Emotions began to run through me, sad and unfair ones. I’d never known anyone who had been able to capture my heart and tug it as hard as Flynn who I’d known for less than a day.
Memories of being in the bleachers floated around in my mind replaying visual images the whole time I’d been preparing for bed. I knew as hard as it was that Flynn was almost twenty-one and I’d not even turned sixteen. That age difference didn’t seem much if we were older and I’d been less innocent, but I wasn’t either.
As I got into bed, the cold sheets distracted me from thoughts of him. The temperature outside had dropped toward the end of the game and frost had made the grass glisten by the time we’d arrived home. The forecast was for snow the day after Thanksgiving, and my mind turned to Martin because I knew he’d have to drive back to school in that. As I considered the best time for Martin to drive home I must have fallen asleep.
Chapter 5 ~ Crushed
Footsteps on the landing woke me. The old oak wooden floorboards made it impossible for anyone to move around without being heard from my bedroom. My brothers used to sneak out of their windows and down the rain gutters in the past for that very reason. I sat up and scooted my way over the mattress until my legs dropped and my feet touched the old cold polished boards.
Remembering what had happened the night before, I’d decided I’d just have to let my thoughts about Flynn go. I couldn’t make myself older, more sophisticated or not Martin’s sister. I tried hard to accept that Flynn was just being kind, and that’s all there was to what had gone on the previous day. To make the point to myself, I’d gone downstairs in my old flannel pajamas with my hair braided as it was before I’d gone to bed.
It was still dark outside, and the boys had only come to bed around five, so I’d expected to see my mom in the kitchen. The light was on but the room was empty, so I’d started to make a fresh pot of coffee. When I’d lifted the glass jug, it was still warm and there was a small amount in the bottom of it. Deciding to make toast, I grabbed a couple of plates from the cabinet under the countertop. When I’d stood up, I’d found Flynn on the other side staring straight at me.
“Holy fuck,” I cursed and dropped one of the plates to the floor. It smashed in half straight down the middle.
Flynn’s eyes widened in shock. I wasn’t sure if that was because the plate smashed, or whether I’d startled him by cursing or because I’d popped up in front of him unexpectedly.
“Jesus. Don’t move. I’ll get a dustpan.”
“Stop. Will you stop treating me like a kid? I can clean up after myself,” I snapped.
Flynn froze where he stood and held up his hands.
“Alright already. Sorry.”
I stomped over to the utility room and came back with everything I needed to discard the plate and clean the floor.
Flynn wandered out of the kitchen and when I’d finished clearing up I followed him into the living room. I’d felt terrible for being snippy with him.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”
“It’s okay. You’re upset. Want to talk about it?”
Did I? What was I going to say? It sucks that I have the hots for you, and I’m only a kid? It sucks that you can make my body feel crazy things without even trying?
“Is it that Bradley guy? Are you still swee
t on him?”
“Bradley is a grade A douche. He doesn’t even figure in my thoughts anymore.”
Flynn chuckled at my choice of words to describe my ex-boyfriend.
“Good. He doesn’t deserve to be there, babe. I’m telling you, any guy who’s nuts enough to cheat on you needs therapy.”
Heat flushed my cheeks at his compliment, and suddenly I was glad I was near the sofa. Every time he called me babe I felt lightheaded. I sat down slowly, collecting my thoughts before I glanced up at him. The last thing I’d expected him to do was come and crouch near me until his face was level with mine.
“Valerie, you’re a very beautiful girl. Any man would be proud to call you his one day, and believe me, I’m not saying that to make you feel better. Just make sure it’s not one of the Bradley’s of this world. You deserve to be treated like the princess you are and if the lucky guy that gets you doesn’t, I’m sure your brothers will straighten him out.”
Flynn traced my face gently with his finger and placed his palm on my cheek. I leaned into it and felt the warmth from the coffee mug he’d been holding. A slow smile played on his mouth then he narrowed his eyes, dropped his hand and stood back up.
Despite the fact that I was sitting on a huge sofa, he chose to sit on the sofa on the opposite side of the room. I stared at his back as he walked away wondering if I’d imagined he’d made that intimate gesture or whether it was what I’d have liked to have happened. I stood and made my way back into the kitchen because I’d no idea what to do after he’d said that.
After everyone else got out of bed, the day passed without any further incidents that would have suggested Flynn liked me. I began to relax and felt comfortable again sitting with everyone. They talked about an eclectic range of things, from stage settings and technology, cars, football and the benefits of the latest smartphone Kayden had bought.
Adam got Flynn on to the subject of music and Flynn told us he was studying classical music at college, but he said he loved all genres. Adam dragged me into the conversation when he told Flynn I played the guitar. I’d wanted to punch him for telling Flynn it was my ‘party-talent’ when there was a cookout at our house. Flynn glanced at me and smirked.
“Maybe she’ll play something for me someday.”
“And maybe Adam will have that loose tongue of his frozen and stuck to a metal pole if the weather permits,” I’d responded scowling at the both of them.
Flynn and Adam chuckled, and Adam asked Flynn if he’d play something for us.
As soon as the spotlight fell on him and his music Flynn became highly embarrassed.
“Sorry guys, I don’t do public performances until it’s a necessity for a grade. My college gigs are bad enough. I’m more of a one on one person. That’s why I chose to study to become a mentor. I’d die if I had to get up on stage and play for a living.”
I stared in disbelief, thinking he was joking. Until then he’d seemed like one of the most confident people I’d ever met.
Martin had been on his laptop and was obviously well out of the conversation, but he tuned-in when he heard Flynn talking.
“My Mom and my grandpa died within seven months of each other. I went to live with my uncle for a while but—”
Something held him back as he sat silently for a moment as if in thought.
“Where’s your Dad?” Adam asked with a complete lack of insight into Flynn’s foster care history.
“Don’t be so nosy, Adam. Flynn pushed himself to learn music as a form of therapy. He doesn’t like talking about his past,” Martin warned.
Seeing how uncomfortable Flynn looked, I tried to distract Adam from asking any further questions,
“Anyone want a soda or anything?”
Flynn nodded and gave me a half smile before swallowing, and I watched pain pass over his face. A dark look settled in his eyes.
“Let’s just say my Dad isn’t a very nice man. Anyhow, I ended up in foster care and after a few years in a children’s home, I was placed with some pretty awesome foster parents. They were much older, in their late sixties when I was placed with them. I was a hard to place kid, but Yvette knew exactly what to do to get the best out of me. I had my grandpa’s old classical guitar and instead of sitting questioning me about my life she decided I should feel music as a way of connecting with the world.”
Staring straight at me while he spoke, I felt a little unnerved, like the conversation Flynn was having was too intimate to share for the short time we’d all known him. I’d heard someone say it was easier to talk to strangers on a late night radio station program before, so I wondered if that’s how Flynn was viewing it all. He went quiet for a few minutes and then he spoke again,
“I’ll admit I’d been pretty unmanageable until then, but I thank my stars every day for that woman’s insight because music healed my soul. They were amazing people. Both passed last year just after I’d left to go back to college. I could have stayed where I was with the short amount of time I had left at college, but I wanted a clean break from Atlanta. Too many memories.”
Flynn’s voice cracked a little at the end, and he turned his head and stared out of the kitchen window for few moments in thought again. We all sat silently until he smiled and looked up, “So glad I did too, because here I am in this awesome family, sharing Thanksgiving with you all.”
When he’d opened up like that I had the urge to hug him. Maybe I’d wanted to hug him for me as well. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be nineteen and lose the people I loved. It must have taken a lot for him to open up like that.
Martin stood up and snapped his laptop closed. “Right. Come on, Flynn get your coat, we’re heading out for the night. I’ve rounded up some of the guys and I’ve heard through the grapevine there’s a party going down. It’ll be good to catch up with everyone, and I can introduce you to a few of my old buddies.”
I didn’t want him to go out. I’d wanted him to stay and to learn more about him.
Flynn looked at Adam then at me like he’d wanted to stay as well. Less than a minute later he tapped the table, and his wooden chair scraped back slowly on the tile floor as he stood up. A soft smile spread on his lips as he glanced down at me, “Thanks for listening. I guess I’ll catch up with you later,” he said and excused himself.
Both Martin and Flynn went to find Kayden, and as usual, Kayden drove them where they wanted to go. Adam and I curled up and watched an old movie on TV about the world ending yet again. Once it was done, I’d prepared for bed. Mom and dad had gone out to visit some neighbors and weren’t back by the time Buster was creating havoc at the door and demanding to be let out.
We always went out there with him because we worried a bigger animal would hurt him after dark. I’d already changed into my pajamas, but I still wanted to protect him. It was freezing outside, so I pulled dad’s huge wax-proof jacket off the peg in the utility room to wear. Grabbing Buster’s leash just in case, I unlatched the door, and he bounded outside.
Immediately he started to head for the old barn at the back, and I’d gone after him when I noticed the light was on. I figured Kayden had forgotten to turn it off when they left. He’d been working on Susie as usual when the boys had gone to find him, and it wouldn’t have been the first time he’d left without shutting everything off.
As I got nearer the barn, I heard Flynn’s voice. I couldn’t make out what he was saying, but I heard Martin exclaim, “Damn. That was amazing.”
I slowed up when I heard a girl giggling, and I was almost visible to them by that time. I peered into the barn, and at first, I couldn’t see anyone, then I saw Flynn. His jeans were around his ankles, and Daisy McGinty, from Martin’s high school class, was standing with the foot of one bare leg balanced on the hood of a car Kayden had bought for spare parts. Her other foot was on the ground, her jeans pooling around that ankle.
Staring at Flynn’s tight bare backside was the last thing I’d expected when I’d headed out to the barn. From the angle I was stan
ding I could see one taut butt cheek, but the rest of the view was horrific. My heart felt like it had a tight fist squeezing it. The shock of seeing two people ‘doing it’ was one thing, but when I saw Flynn messing around like that it crushed me. I almost turned and ran, but I couldn’t turn away. Something rooted me to the spot and being able to watch him like that had turned me on.
My panties became notably soaked, and when the night air cooled my heat, I was painfully aware of the lustful effect he’d had on me from that cold, wet patch of material between my legs. Jealousy raged inside me, and my furious reaction appalled me.
Hooking up for ten minutes of pleasure wasn’t how a boy should treat a girl. All his talk about how boys should treat me well, and he’d forgotten all of his words the moment he’d gone into the barn with Daisy like that. My feelings were in conflict, everything from lust to hate, and from anger to excitement passed through me until there were so many they swept over my mind and body. I’d been both freaked and fascinated by what I saw. Then I settled once again on being crushed.
Whatever he was doing to her obviously felt good. Daisy’s soft then louder moans and words of encouragement were both needy urgent and full of praise. I felt hurt at the sight of them together. Flynn’s hand moved fast between her legs as he buried his face in the bend of her neck. Watching him do that to her affected me, to the point where my pussy pulsed because I’d wanted him to do that to me. He was pleasuring her in a way I’d only ever imagined.
After a couple of minutes, Daisy’s legs buckled and she screamed before she slumped forward and Flynn held her close to his chest. They both chuckled, and Flynn held her head again and kissed her hungrily. The intimacy between them left me feeling abandoned. I had no reason to feel that way. He wasn’t mine. Daisy pulled away from him with a smirk on her face and mascara smudged black underneath both eyes. She’d dropped to her knees, and Flynn turned to her but was now almost directly facing me.
Quietly I stood watching them. Flynn’s butt was no longer visible, but I saw his reaction the moment she must have taken his cock in her hand. His eyes closed and he tilted his head back. I was devastated and desperate. I wanted to be Daisy. I wanted Flynn to want me the way he’d wanted her. I’d wanted him to look at me the way he was looking at her while they were together.