Ready For Flynn, Part 1

by KL Shandwick

  It was my turn to check if anyone was in earshot while my heart hammered in my chest. I was out of my depth, and I had no clue how to respond to a comment like that until something he’d said to Adam and my dad came to mind.

  “I can see what your tutors at college mean. There’s far too much rock star in you to be a contender for anything serious. Leave me alone, Flynn. I’m glad you fucked Daisy and not me. She’s more your type. I hear she puts out for anyone. Just hope you both used condoms, there’s a lot of serious STD’s out there.”

  Unable to stem the bitterness from my voice I’d allowed my passion for Flynn to spill into words. We both knew he shouldn’t have spoken to me in that way, but the passion in his voice was raw. Like he was getting off on voicing thoughts he knew he’d never have the opportunity to put into action. If I’d thought he’d been serious, my newly discovered reckless side may well have given in to him. That thought shocked me. The angel in me had already preened her wings and was floating off into the distance. No matter how magnetic my feelings were for him, I had to stop wanting someone who I knew without a doubt, had the ability to destroy any idea of the happy life I’d imagined for myself.

  Auntie Joan’s voice called out from the doorway, and Flynn straightened up in his chair, his hand back on his glass and a ready smile on his face as she entered the kitchen. Pushing his chair back with his legs, he stood, wrapping his hand softly around hers when she offered it. Flynn was once again the charming young man that Martin had brought home for Thanksgiving, outwardly at least.

  The rest of the evening was a bit of a blur for me. I sat mulling over everything that I’d learned about Flynn, everything he’d ever said to me and then, finally I looked at myself and how I’d reacted in response.

  There was no doubt about it. My feelings were real. I had a crush on Flynn and from what he’d said he’d made it clear he liked what he saw in me, but he’d told me himself I was too young. I consoled myself that it was just as well because in a few days he’d be gone and I’d have even more heartache than I felt at that moment. As soon as was practicable without my family questioning me, I excused myself and went upstairs to my room. I’d never felt uncomfortable in my home before Flynn arrived.

  When I’d slid between my sheets that night, my mind whirred relentlessly with thoughts that my aching heart felt. Maybe Martin was right. He’d warned me about Flynn and my track record with Bradley had proved I had no idea what I was doing with boys. I decided I’d have to be careful around Flynn until they left to go back to school. Then I’d work out how to get over him. I tossed and turned at that thought until I’d exhausted myself and fallen asleep.

  Chapter 7 ~ Second warning

  The dog scratching at my bedroom door pulled me from my sleep. Dawn wasn’t even on the horizon as Auntie Joan and Mom spoke to each other on the landing outside my door. It was farcical they thought they were quiet, but the volume of their speech was stage whispers. I’m sure they could have spoken quieter in their normal voices. When they’d reached the kitchen the sound of metal pots and pans made me feel guilty about lying in bed when there was so much to do for our Thanksgiving dinner.

  I dressed in loose gray sweat pants and pulled on a white fitted t-shirt. As I left my room, I got a fright when a hand grabbed my wrist. A second hand went over my mouth and muffled my scream. “Shh, babe,” Flynn whispered so close to my ear that it made me shiver. I hadn’t heard him on the landing. Somehow, I’d known it was him. There was something raw in the action of his hand pressed across my mouth. It made my heart rate spike and ignited passion and desire throughout my body.

  His naked chest was so close I could feel his heat. He smelled of shower gel and that musky boy smell, but it was distinctly different to that of my brothers. It was unique to him and so enticing. It had made me want to put my face to his skin and inhale his scent deep into my lungs.

  A smile curved his mouth in the low light from my room, and I’d noticed his unshaven jawline when his perfect lips began to move as he spoke.

  “Valerie. I’m sorry about yesterday,” he whispered softly in a rushed and apologetic tone as his hand dropped from my mouth to my shoulder. His callused fingertips brushing against my soft skin was like the ignition paper at the end of a firework. It felt precarious as if the slightest friction was going to set fire to me.

  I pulled my wrist out of his grasp, and he didn’t resist, instead he held his up in front of himself like he was surrendering. Glancing quickly over his shoulder in the direction of my brothers’ bedrooms, he looked back and met my gaze again before stepping even closer. His forearm brushed against mine as he began to talk in a low murmur.

  “I had no right to say what I said to you. That was a shitty thing to do,” he said. I could see the sincerity in his eyes.

  “Then why did you say those things to me?” I bit back as my anger rose.

  “You made me frustrated,” he shrugged. He reached out and took my hand. I tugged it away from him as fast as he’d touched it.

  “I made you frustrated, so you decided to humiliate me? What did I ever do to you, Flynn?”

  “You were watching. All you had to do was step into that barn, and it would all have stopped. I would have stopped, Valerie,” he said as he shook his head.

  I stared in disbelief at him for a long moment before I closed the gap the rest of the way to him and controlled my voice to tamp the angry feelings that were brewing in my belly.

  My head dipped toward his and in a low, angry whisper I said, “Oh! So now I’m the reason you fucked Daisy McGinty? It’s my fault she was in our barn with her leg perched on Kayden’s spare parts car? You knew what you were doing when you invited her back to our place so don’t go trying to excuse what you did, by making this about me. I’m sorry I was there. That wasn’t my intention at all. Jesus, I wanted to come back inside and bleach my eyes to get rid of the sight of that.”

  “The sight of what, Valerie? Two people consenting to share each other’s bodies? Two people having raw pleasure with no bullshit attached? An attractive girl being pleasured by a guy you wouldn’t mind a little one on one with yourself? I saw you. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from what was going on.”

  “Get over yourself, Flynn.”

  “No, Valerie. You want to be with the adults on this, own the feelings that go with what you saw.”

  “I liked you when I first met you. You seemed like a decent guy. After the barn and the way you spoke to me yesterday, let’s just say—I’ve re-evaluated that opinion. I’m a fifteen-year-old girl Flynn, and you’re a guy that likes to mess around with girls you don’t even know. Why would I allow you anywhere near me?”

  I stared indignantly, “Do you know the reputation Daisy has? No, probably not, but I do. Why would I ever want anything to do with someone who doesn’t care about that? I’d never want you even if I was ready to go there and lose my virginity. When I am ready to take that step it sure as hell won’t be with someone like you.”

  Flynn growled, grabbed me by my arm, steering me backward into my room. He swiftly closed the door and my heart leaped wildly in my chest. I’d turned ready to walk away from him thinking he was making the conversation more private, but that wasn’t it. He suddenly grabbed me by my upper arms spun me around and pushed me against the door. He covered my body with his and pressed so hard I was struggling to breathe. I should have been worried, but that wasn’t the feeling he gave me. I felt pure lust at his firm handling.

  The thrill of his abrupt move made me wet. I’d wanted to grab him by the hair and kiss his mouth despite what I’d just said to him. I didn’t. Instead, I goaded him with a smirk.

  “Sweet, sweet, Valerie. You’re nowhere near ready to handle me. I’ll know when you are, and no one will know your body like I will.”

  “What do you mean? The guys I decide to sleep with won’t be able to do me the way you could? Newsflash, I’ve heard plenty of boys talk like you. You’re full of yourself.” I lifted my hands to his chest and fel
t his warm skin under my hands, the smooth hard lines of his pectorals played into my already heightened state of arousal, but I pushed him back. Flynn didn’t resist my move, “I’m done with this conversation. Don’t touch me again and stay away from me while you’re here. You may be Martin’s guest, but this is my home as well.”

  Most girls would have declared me insane for that move. Flynn had awoken feelings in me before I was ready. And he’d been pressed hard against me in my bedroom. Thinking what may happen if Martin or my parents found him in my room made me afraid for him. But the way he’d pushed himself at me only made that fear more exciting. My heart pumped so fast I thought I’d pass out.

  Stubble brushed my cheek. “One kiss,” he whispered gruffly before his tongue licked his lips. I could feel heat radiating from his warm, naked chest through my t-shirt as he leaned into me again. His smell filled my nostrils again. I inhaled it deeply and was immediately seduced by it. I trembled in anticipation because I’d never wanted anyone to kiss me as badly as I wanted Flynn to.

  If I’d been stronger, I’d have pushed him away again, but I’d wanted that kiss so much. I knew I’d probably regret it afterward, but I wanted it like I’d die if he didn’t do it. Flynn’s pupils were blown wide as they bore into my eyes and sucked my soul right out of me. When I made no attempt to push him away his eyes dropped to his thumb as he traced it gently across my mouth. As he licked his bottom lip again, his gaze flicked quickly from my mouth to my eyes. A second later he pressed his warm, soft lips against mine as his eyes slowly closed.

  Heat exploded throughout my body, my heart rate spiked and my knees buckled. My heartbeat pounded all the way to my throat with desire. Instinctively, Flynn tilted his hips, pressing himself harder against my body and firmly to the door. A small groan came from his throat, and I felt his hard solid bulge against my belly. I’d felt similar before when Brad had kissed me, but with Bradley, I’d found that embarrassing.

  Embarrassment wasn’t what I felt with Flynn. The passion his action had stirred up felt different. It was only a small kiss. An unexpectedly tender kiss, not what I’d imagined he would do at all. Without thinking, I placed my hands on his back and trailed them down the smooth hard lines. Touching his hot, silky skin made him shiver. Flynn’s whole body stiffened, and he stilled before he’d exhaled a ragged breath and tore his mouth away and stepped back. The sudden loss of heat and his touch as he did made my heart sad.

  “Don’t worry, honey. Your virtue is safe. I won’t touch you again until you beg me,” he whispered seductively.

  Flynn turned me away from the door, opened it slowly as if checking the hallway before he slipped around it and walked away. I hadn’t had the chance to respond. I watched him close his door behind him and sighed with a heavy feeling in my belly.

  Everything about our little encounter had turned me on. My body vibrated from how closely he’d held me and used his body to excite me. I fought to control the effect the smell of his half naked body had on me. Instead of going downstairs I’d closed the door and went over to my bed. I lay there wondering how I was going to get through the rest of the day after that.

  I hated and craved Flynn. I knew if Martin found out what he’d done I’d never see him again. There was no way I should have wanted him near me, and then again, there was no way I could have let him walk away knowing he’d never come back. Understanding the complexity of those feelings with no experience felt impossible for a girl like me.

  By dinner time, I’d avoided him for a lot of the day, but Thanksgiving wasn’t as bad as I’d thought. Flynn was the perfect guest. Polite and charming, he was mindful of our parents, and he’d won Auntie Joan over in a heartbeat. It wasn’t until bedtime that she’d cornered me in the kitchen.

  “So Flynn has a thing for you. How do you feel about that, Valerie?”

  My heart had stuttered at her comment, and I blushed. Why would she say that?

  “Sorry, Auntie Joan but I think you’ve had too much wine this evening. I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “So you think I was born yesterday? That I don’t know when a boy looks at a girl in a certain way?”

  As far as I was concerned, Flynn hadn’t looked at me at all. We hadn’t conversed with each other apart from on the landing, but Auntie Joan had been in the kitchen with Mom when that happened. I’d gone to the barn to spend time with Kayden and Adam, and we’d listened to music and talked about people we knew. Martin had stayed in the house with Flynn, and they’d been watching some music documentary on TV while my parents had prepped for our Thanksgiving dinner.

  “What way?” I said sounding surprised.

  “In a way that you have to be strong to resist, Val. The boy was devouring you with his eyes.”

  Her comment was so straight talking I almost collapsed on the spot.

  “Well, now I know you’ve had too much to drink.”

  “Valerie that boy has watched every breath you’ve taken today. His eyes have followed you around the room, and when you left to go to the barn, he almost fell off the chair craning his neck to watch you through the window.”

  “Is that so?” I said as my heart raced both with delight that he’d done that, but I was worried that Martin would suspect he’d been flirting with me.

  “It is.”

  A short silence passed between us.

  “He’s a college boy, Auntie Joan. They look at all girl’s behinds,” I said trying to sound dismissive.

  “He’s a college boy that’s holding a torch for my favorite niece, honey.”

  “Your only niece,” I corrected her and smirked.

  “Mark my words, Valerie. That boy definitely has a thing for you.”

  “That boy has a thing for all girls, I’d bet.”

  “Hmm, you are more astute than I gave you credit for. I mean I’m an old widow, and even I’ve not been able to stop staring at him. He’s a very handsome young man. You haven’t looked or talked to him all day, so I’m guessing there’s a crush that you’re trying hard to smooth out in that heart of yours, am I close?”

  She’d read the situation perfectly.

  “Enough! Nothing’s ever going to happen between Flynn and me, so you’re going to have to look to your Harlequin books for romance, Auntie Joan.”

  Leaving the kitchen for my room, I was relieved when I’d made it without another interlude with Flynn. I undressed and got into bed. Lying flat on my back I stared at the ceiling feeling less happy about being home. My thoughts turned to Martin. He was leaving too soon. I hadn’t felt the closeness we’d once shared, and that tore my heart. Tears fell, and I felt so discontented by how the holiday had gone. My emotions had ridden stormy waters since I’d come home and it had left me flat. Eventually, I cried myself to sleep.

  Kayden knocked on the door and called out to me to get up. I listened to him walk away and rolled to my side staring at the window. I hadn’t really wanted to answer him. Martin was leaving early due to the snowstorm coming on Saturday. I’d heard them taking all their things downstairs. After a while, the trunk slammed shut with a dull thud signifying the last time I’d see Martin until Christmas. Almost as important, perhaps the last time I’d see Flynn. I slipped out of bed and padded barefoot to look down at the driveway.

  A thick dusting of snow had fallen. Everything looked pretty outside. Martin’s car had been cleared of snow, swipe marks on the roof as far as their arms could reach. The snow on the hood had melted from the engine turning over. Kayden opened the door and poked his head in.

  “Ah, you’re up. Martin is about ready to leave, Val.”

  I’d noticed that Martin hadn’t come to tell me himself. Digging in my drawer, I pulled on some black yoga pants and a black t-shirt and found a thick, red sweater to pull on. I cracked open the door slowly and then headed downstairs.

  Martin was leaning on the countertop cradling a mug of coffee between both hands.

  “Oh, you’re up. I was going to leave you sleeping; it’s still
early.”

  “You were going to leave without saying, goodbye?”

  Stunned, I’d stood speechless. I’d have been devastated if Martin had done that. This was the brother who’d been so in tune with me until a couple of days ago, and we’d reached the point where he wasn’t even going to say goodbye. My eyes stared when his words hit me low in my chest. I’d been too choked to say anything else and fought to swallow the emotion. After a few seconds, I set myself up with a cup of coffee to break the hurt and angry thoughts going around in my mind. I’d have preferred not to have seen him, and for that particular conversation not to have taken place between us, maybe he was right. Maybe I should have stayed in bed and let him go.

  Flynn came in the back door, and Martin looked up at him.

  “Can you give us a few minutes?” Martin asked Flynn.

  Flynn’s eyes flicked to me; he hesitated before he nodded.

  “Sure. I’ll be in the car,” he said and turned to leave but glanced back and said, “I need to do this real quick.”

  Flynn came over to me and took my cup away, placing it on the counter.

  “It was a real pleasure to meet you, Valerie. Martin had told me his sister was beautiful inside and out. I think he was being modest when he made that statement. I hope we’ll meet again sometime in the future.”

  Leaning forward, Flynn pulled me to his chest and hugged me tightly. His hands gave me an extra squeeze on my back which I’d hoped at the time was a secret sign, but for what? I felt by body yield and melt into his arms. He bent and kissed me briefly on my mouth. It was just a peck but enough to leave an imprint on my lips and his touch embedded in my brain. Without a backward glance, he left the room as quickly as he’d entered. Martin came to my side and leaned on the granite countertop.

  “I’m sorry this holiday has sucked for you, Val. If I’d known that bringing Flynn would have taken so much of my time, I’d have thought twice about it.”

  “No you wouldn’t have, Martin, you’re too nice. It’s not his fault; it was probably the fact I’d been living somewhere else as well. It’s been… unsettling. He’s been fine. I’ve enjoyed him staying. You can bring him back,” I said trying to sound neutral.