by E. L. Todd
I knew she wasn’t being truthful. “Yes, you do. Let me prove I’m not an ass.”
She crossed her arms over her chest.
“Come on. I want to apologize and make up for what I said.”
“Cato, it’s really unnecessary.”
I took a more aggressive approach. “I’m going to bother you endlessly unless you have dinner with me. If not today, then tomorrow. If not then, then the following day. Save yourself some time.”
She stared at the floor for a moment before she returned her gaze to me. “Fine.”
“Thank you.”
She grabbed her purse then walked out.
“What are you in the mood for?” I asked.
“Anything. I’m not picky.”
“Italian?”
“Sounds good to me.” She walked beside me but kept a few feet between us. We walked down the sidewalk and I had my hands in my pockets. She stared at the shops we passed and didn’t make conversation with me. I didn’t speak either because I didn’t know what to say.
Once we entered the restaurant and took our seats, I stared openly into her face, noting the blue eyes I’d never forgotten. Her face was perfect, her features blending together but standing out at the same time. Her hair had a shiny look to it, like it was softer than the highest quality silk on the planet.
She looked at her menu and ignored my look.
“What are you getting?” I asked.
“Not sure…chicken alfredo looks good.”
“That sounds good,” I said. “That’s what I’ll get.”
“I’m glad I could help you with your decision,” she said as she continued to look at her menu. Then she finally set it down.
I grabbed the wine list. “What do you recommend?”
“Why are you asking me?”
“I assume you’re a wine aficionado.”
She grabbed the menu and examined it. “It depends on your preference. I prefer white wine over red, myself.”
“How about you choose a bottle for the table? I trust your judgment.”
She finally gave me a slight smile, no matter how slight it was.
When the waiter came over, I ordered dinner for both of us, and Katarina ordered the wine. When he was gone, we were alone once more. We were seated right next to the window so there was something for us to look at when it became too uncomfortable.
This would be a good time to apologize. “I’m sorry for what I said last time we were together. I won’t behave that way anymore. You have my word.”
She glanced at the glowing candle on the table before she turned her gaze to me. “I accept your apology.”
“I want you to know I’ve felt like shit this entire week for making you cry.” It was the truth.
“Don’t feel guilty. The only one responsible for my emotions is me.” She gave me a gentle smile before she looked out the window again.
She was so stiff, nothing like she used to be. What happened to her? “So, we’re okay?”
“Yes, Cato.”
“Thank you for having dinner with me.”
“Sure,” she said. “It’s nice to get out.”
She didn’t seem like she had much of a nightlife. “I’m sure you do lots of fun stuff with your friends.”
“We do,” she agreed. “But they both have boyfriends right now so they’re usually home on the weekends, not that I care. I’m happy for them.”
I tried to think of something else to say. “So, have you talked to Joey?”
She turned her gaze on me, and the candle reflected in her eyes, just like the lights from New Year’s. “I did.”
“And how did that go?”
“You were right about him.” She said it simply and without emotion. “Unfortunately.”
“He seems like a nice guy, and he’s decent looking. I’m surprised you aren’t interested in him especially since you guys are such good friends.” I was relieved she wasn’t interested in him although I wasn’t sure why. I doubted she would ever be interested in me.
“Joey is a great guy. I respect him very much. But…there’s nothing there.”
I was glad to hear that. “How long have you known each other?”
She shrugged. “I couldn’t even tell you. Since we were born, I suppose.”
“Maybe that’s why,” he said. “He was in the friend zone from the beginning.”
“Possibly,” she said.
“Did you put him down easy?” I asked.
“I did, but I get the impression he doesn’t accept it. He seems intent on marrying me, even if the relationship is loveless.”
“He must really love you,” I noted. “To settle for a woman who will never feel the same way.”
“I tried to explain to him that it would be the biggest mistake of his life. Naturally, he didn’t believe me.”
“Marrying you doesn’t seem like a mistake,” I blurted.
She turned her hypnotic blue eyes on me. “Joey deserves the best. I know there’s someone out there who will love him the way he should be loved. I love him, not in the same way, and I wouldn’t take that possibility away from him. If he didn’t love me and he was looking for the same type of arrangement, then our conversation would have had a very different outcome. But I wouldn’t take away his shot of true love.”
Her words got my mind working. She obviously believed in love but she didn’t have any interest in it. Why? “Why do you want a loveless marriage?”
She grabbed her wine and took a sip. “I just do. It’s convenient and easy. And I’ll never love again so a loveless marriage with a partner I respect is ideal for me.”
So she loved someone before. Was it a bad breakup? Was it an abusive relationship? The curiosity was killing me. “Why have you given up on love?” I asked bluntly.
“I haven’t given up on it,” she said immediately. “I just can’t love someone.”
“Why?” I pressed.
She set down her glass and pressed her lips together. “What’s your story, Cato? You’re a very good-looking guy. You must have your pick up of the crop.”
She changed the subject so that topic must be off limits. It was a shame because I was truly interested. “I don’t have much of a story.”
“No special woman in your life?”
You’re the only one. “No.”
“Never?” she asked incredulously.
“Well, there was this one girl…we only had a night together.”
“What happened?” she asked.
“She and I had a great time and we really hit it off, at least I thought we did. The next morning I woke up and she was gone. I never knew her name.” I watched her face, wondering if that would trigger the memory.
It didn’t. “You fell in love with this girl in just one night?”
“No,” I said immediately. “But I did feel something. That doesn’t happen for me very often. Actually, never.”
“And that was the end of the story?”
“For the most part,” I said vaguely. “I never really got over what she did to me. But, I’ve done the same to countless women before I met her. I got a taste of my own medicine, really.”
She nodded then took another drink of her wine.
“I haven’t done that to a girl since.”
“So, you sleep around?” she asked without judgment.
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“That seems to be the case with extremely good-looking men.”
“You think I’m extremely good-looking?” A smile stretched my face.
She chuckled, for the first time. “Come on, Cato. You look in the mirror every day.”
“It just seemed like you were immune to my charms.”
“I’m not,” she said immediately. “But don’t worry. Danielle made it very clear you’re off limits and I respect that.”
That got my heart racing. “What if I wasn’t off limits?”
She was about to take another sip before she spoke. “What’s your meaning?”
> “Would you want me if I were available?” I was desperate to know this answer. I never had to ask a girl this before. It was always obvious in the way they looked at me that they wanted me. But Katarina was impossible to read.
A slow smile stretched her lips. “What does it matter?”
“It matters to me.” I continued to stare her down, silently pressing her for an answer.
“Cato, I would sleep with you in a heartbeat.” She said it without embarrassment. “But that’s just not possible for us, unfortunately.”
I had strict rules I wasn’t supposed to break, but I desperately wanted to break them. I already had her once, and I really wanted her again. And this time, she wouldn’t forget me. I’d make sure of that. “What if it was?”
She set her glass down as she studied me. “But it’s not.”
“Rules were meant to be broken, right?” A cocky grin stretched my face.
She mirrored my smile. “Cato, this conversation is going to a dangerous place. I suggest we drop it.”
“What if I don’t want to drop it?”
She regarded me for a long time, like she was studying me intently. “First, you can’t stand me. And now you ask me to dinner and invite me to a purely physical relationship? I don’t understand you, Cato.”
“I was being a dick before. But I’ve always been attracted to you.”
“Do you regularly sleep with your clients?” she asked.
“Never have before.”
“And why am I different?”
“You just are.”
She released a faint chuckle that was so quiet I could barely hear it. “You’re one of the best looking men I’ve ever seen. You could have any girl, any time. Why are you wasting your effort on me?”
It was a good question. And I didn’t have a good answer. “I guess I want what I can’t have.”
The waiter interrupted the conversation when he brought our meals. After sprinkling parmesan cheese on our dishes, he walked away. Katarina picked up her fork and began to each slowly, dropping the conversation.
I didn’t bring it up again because I knew it would get me nowhere. It would be a bad idea to sleep with her again, but I wanted to capture that night again. I wanted her to remember me. Why it was so important to me, I wasn’t sure. But it was. “When will you be needing my services again?”
“Soon,” she said. “When my parents finally accept our arrangement, then they’ll let this fantasy with Joey be buried.”
“What would you get out of marrying him?”
“He has a prominent shipping company, which we use often. A marriage would unite our businesses as well as our families. My parents have been planning it since I was five. It’s extremely annoying.”
“And you’ve never been interested in him?”
“Nope.”
“I’m surprised he didn’t go for you sooner,” I said. “Why did he wait until I came into the picture?”
“I was unavailable for years and he finally gave up. But when I was single again, he became hopeful.”
It sounded like she had a long-term relationship. Maybe he hurt her so much that she couldn’t trust anyone again. Perhaps that was why she was so detached from me on that night. Maybe it really was just a one-night stand to her because that’s all she wanted. How could I be mad about that? Just because I expected something more didn’t mean I would get it. “How long did your relationship last?”
“Two years,” she said simply.
“And why did it end?”
She stared down at her plate and pushed her food around with her fork. “I don’t want to talk about it.” She dismissed me without emotion.
I didn’t press the topic even though I was desperate to know. “For what its worth, not all relationships end in heartache. Perhaps if you gave love another chance you would feel differently.” Why did I say that? I was giving her love advice for no reason at all. I knew I was just doing it so she would give me a chance, a real one. But it was still a stupid move to make.
“Please don’t tell me how to live my life when you know nothing about me.” Her voice wasn’t cold, but it was void of emotion.
“Let me get to know you.”
She gave me a dark look. “I don’t understand you, Cato. You hate me but now you want to be my friend?”
“Leave the past in the past,” I said. “I’m really a great guy. Please keep an open mind.”
“I can tell you’re a nice guy. I’ve always known that even if other people were the recipient of that and I wasn’t.”
I ate my food slowly, not really hungry. “Are you saying we can never be friends?”
“Not at all.”
“So, you’re willing to try?”
“I wouldn’t be having dinner with you if I felt otherwise.” She took another drink of her wine.
“Good. Because I think we could get along really well.”
She gave me another smile. “Is this a genuine offer? Or are you just trying to sleep with me?”
“If I wanted to sleep with you, I would have done it already.” And I already have.
“Cocky, are we?” she asked with a chuckle.
“Just confident,” I said. “When you no longer need my services, we should revisit this conversation.”
“Maybe.” She shrugged. “Maybe not.”
***
“Let’s get some ice cream,” I said when we left the restaurant.
“Wow, this is really turning into a nice date,” she said with a pretty smile.
“What can I say?” I said. “I’m a dreamy guy.”
“And…now it went to shit.” She laughed while she looked at me.
I nudged her in the side playfully. “You know I’m kidding.”
“Actually, I don’t think you are. You are a dreamy guy.”
“Well, I try…” I gave her a smile then looked away.
“I knew it.” She crossed her arms over her chest while she walked.
We reached an ice cream parlor and walked inside.
“What are you getting?” I asked.
“Milkshake,” she blurted.
“Is that your favorite or something?”
“Yep,” she said. “It’s not messy like a sundae and it’s delicious.”
“Good point,” I said. “I’ll get one too.”
After we ordered, we sat outside and watched the people walk by.
She took a long gulp then sighed. “Man, that’s good. I can’t remember the last time I had one.”
Her body was perfect so I suspected she didn’t eat junk often. “It’s pretty delicious.”
“You look like you’ve never had a milkshake in your life.”
An egotistical smile stretched my face. “Not necessarily. I just work out harder when I have one.”
“Do you work out often?”
“Two hours a day, seven days a week.”
She cringed. “God, that sounds terrible.”
I laughed. “It’s my job. What do you do?”
“At midday, I jog around the vineyards. It’s a beautiful trail.”
I nodded. “You have nice legs. I suspected you were a runner.”
“Have you ever seen my legs?” she asked.
Oh, I’ve seen a lot more than your legs. “You’re wearing a skirt now.”
“That only shows the area below my knees.”
“I have x-ray vision,” I said. “I know how you look.”
“That must come in handy.”
“It does.”
She took another sip. “I need to stop. I’m going to drink this whole damn thing.”
“You should,” I said. “I’m not judging you.”
“Because I’m paying you.”
I chuckled. “I was a dick to you and you were paying me.”
“Touché.” She took another sip. “You know, you’re pretty cool when you’re being nice.”
“You’re pleasant too.” After I spent a few hours with her, the playful side I used to know came out. Sh
e was actually fun and laid-back. It seemed to be a trait she didn’t share very often. “I like spending time with you.”
“Again, because I’m paying you.”
“Last time I checked, I was doing this for free.”
She nodded in agreement. “True. So, tell me about being an escort.”
“There’s not much to tell.”
“You have to have some stories,” she said. “It’s such an usual profession. How did it start?”
“When my friends and I graduated college, it just happened. Girls were asking us to pose as their boyfriends then we just started charging money. We all had loans to pay back so that was why we made the decision to start Beautiful Entourage. It was just a temporary gig until we found big boy jobs. But then it took off and we started making more money than we would ever make doing anything else. And here we are, five years later.”
“Interesting,” she said. “Do you like your job?”
“For the most part. I definitely wouldn’t want to do something else. I have a lot of control over what I do, and I do get satisfaction from helping people.”
“Helping people?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “When I successfully make an ex-boyfriend jealous or I make my client show her family that she’s more than capable of bringing home a pretty boy, it makes me happy. The day they no longer need me is what I look forward to most. It means I succeeded. Honestly, I become a friend more than anything else. A lot of people think I’m some mindless prostitute but they have no idea what I really do. One of my clients is an eighty two year old woman in a retirement home. I visit her every week and we play games and I read to her. So, I do more than just pose as a boyfriend.”
She stopped sipping her milkshake and turned her full gaze on me. “That impresses me.”
“Thank you. It’s nice to get some respect once in a while.”
“What’s this lady like?”
“The one in the retirement home?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“Well, her husband passed away twenty years ago and she doesn’t have any kids. She pays me to be her grandson. I spend holidays with her sometimes too. She’s very nice, just lonely.”
“I didn’t realize you guys did other things.”
“Yeah, a friend of mine plays checkers with an old man at the park every Sunday. He says it’s actually pretty fun. A few months ago I posed as a groomsmen for a guy who didn’t have many friends.”