by E. L. Todd
“No, work never sleeps here,” she said with a sigh. “Joey and I were just going over shipments to Italy.”
“Sounds important,” I said.
“It’s pretty routine.”
“I guess that means you’re too busy for lunch?” I asked.
She looked at her watch. “You came all the way down here…I can spare a minute.”
“It’s really not a big deal,” I said quickly. Actually, I was deeply disappointed. I made the twenty minute drive to look at her beautiful face and spend time with her. If I was going to get her to open up, I had to give her a reason to.
“No, it’s fine,” she said immediately. “I just need to grab something for Joey. Take a seat and I’ll be right back.” She walked out of the office, her hips swaying in the tight skirt she wore. I glanced at her legs and imagined them tight around my waist. My thoughts turned dark and I shook them away.
I took a seat in the other leather chair and rested one ankle on the opposite knee. Joey stared straight ahead and out the window behind her desk. His notepad was untouched. Now that Katarina wasn’t around he wasn’t nearly as welcoming. “Amy seems nice,” I said to break the ice.
He didn’t turn my way. “Yeah, she’s a sweetheart.” His voice was cold.
I already had the impression Amy was just a component in his game, but now I was even more convinced of it. “Why are you trying to convince Katarina you’re over her? She doesn’t seem to care either way.” I wasn’t going to pretend I didn’t know anything. It made my relationship with Katarina more believable anyway. Why wouldn’t she confide Joey’s attraction to her boyfriend?
That got his attention. He finally turned in my direction. “I’m not.”
Bullshit. “If you say so.”
His fingers still rested under his chin. “You know she’s only dating you so her family will stop pestering her, right?”
I shrugged. “I don’t care. She’s a beautiful woman and I get to have her.”
Anger flashed in his eyes. Like a shooting star, it passed quickly then disappeared. It happened so fast I wasn’t sure if I saw it at all. “You can’t give her what she needs. I can.”
“But you just said you weren’t trying to convince Katarina you were over her…” I caught him in his lie and I smirked without shame. “So Amy is just a ploy?”
He faced forward and didn’t say anything.
“I’ll keep your secret.” I examined Katarina’s wall and looked at her degrees.
“You’re an asshole, you know that?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.” I didn’t rise to anything he said because it pissed him off more.
“I’m the only man who can put her back together,” he said. “You’re only encouraging her behavior and depression. And you’re okay with that?”
“She seems pretty happy with me.”
“She’s just using you and we both know it,” he said darkly.
“And you’re lying to Katarina and pretending you don’t love her anymore so she’ll marry you,” I said quietly. “Now look who’s the asshole.”
“She should marry me,” he said coldly. “It should have been me to begin with. How she doesn’t see that is beyond my understanding. Instead, she went for a cocky pretty boy and got her world ripped apart. She should have chosen me.”
That caught my attention. Joey probably knew the reason why Katarina was so closed off and emotionally unavailable. I was desperate to know her secret since she wouldn’t tell me. But I would feel like a jackass if I went behind her back and asked Joey about it. But if he told me on his own…that would be a different story. “She made her decision. You should just accept it and move on.”
“Easier said than done,” he said bitterly. “If she gave me a chance, she would love again. She’s just too scared. So she finds you and drags you along like a cat toy on the end of a string. She’ll pull you along for a while then cut you loose, just like she always does.”
“I’m going to marry her.” The words echoed in the office and landed on both of our ears.
He turned to me with frosty eyes. “What did you say?”
“I’m going to marry her.” I met his gaze unwaveringly.
He shook his head then turned away again. “No, you aren’t.”
“I will,” I said. “We’ve already talked about it.”
His head snapped in my direction. “You’re full of it. She would never remarry—at least for love.”
Remarry? So, she used to be married? What happened? Did he leave her for another woman? When did this happen? Maybe she got divorced right before we met and that was why she didn’t stick around the following morning. Now my mind was buzzing with more questions. While Joey answered my question, it led to more questions. “She’s had enough time to move on. And I’m a very patient man.”
He released a light laugh. “Seriously, do you even know her? You talk about her like she’s a completely different person.”
“Because she’s a completely different person with me.”
He shook his head. “I assure you, her only interest in a marriage with you is convenience. If you don’t want to get your heart dragged through the mud, you should get out while you can.”
“She loves me.”
“Cut the shit,” he said.
“She does,” I repeated. “Ask her.”
He studied my face, searching for a lie. “That’s just not possible. I’m sorry.”
“I’m a pretty good-looking guy,” I said with a smug look.
He rolled his eyes and fell silent.
I rested my hand on my thigh and wondered what was taking Katarina so long. “Why are you so into her?” I understood her charms and beauty, but this guy was borderline obsessed with her. I didn’t like it.
“Because she’s the one,” he said quietly. “She’s been the one since I could remember. I had a real shot with her. We were getting so close. Then Ethan showed up and it all went to shit…”
“Close as friends, probably,” I said.
“No. I saw it in her eyes. She was considering me. But then he came into the picture and swept her off her feet. They weren’t together very long, two months, before they got married. It had disaster written all over it.”
I couldn’t imagine Katarina being spontaneous like that. She was so uptight now. Sometimes I caught glimpses of her playful side but it wasn’t strong enough to suggest she would marry a man she hardly knew. “She followed her heart. You can’t blame her for that. Just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean she regrets her decision.”
He turned toward me again and narrowed his eyes. He didn’t blink while he examined me. “Now I know without a doubt you’re full of shit.”
I had no idea what he meant by that so I kept my silence. It was the smart thing to do.
“She would never fall in love with another man and not mention Ethan. The fact you don’t know what happened is a dead giveaway. This is clearly just a fling and she doesn’t trust you.”
Fuck, I hoped I didn’t screw Katarina over. I wasn’t sure how to fix it or what to say. I wasn’t even sure what I said to give him the indication I didn’t know about Katarina’s personal life. “No man wants to hear about his girlfriend’s ex-husband.” That seemed pretty safe.
“I think they would since he’s been dead for five years.”
***
After Joey left, Katarina and I walked to the restaurant.
“Is this okay?” she asked. “The closest place is ten minutes away.”
“This is excellent.” I put my arm around her waist as we headed inside and reached a table. I was in a daze as I moved. I pulled her chair out then sat across from her. I stared out the window and didn’t look at the menu. My mind was swarming with thoughts.
Katarina was a widow.
Now everything was making more sense. She refused to love again because her love had already come and gone. Now I felt stupid for assuming it was anything else, like a bad relationship or an abusive boyfriend.
S
omething like this should change the way I feel. Katarina had already loved and lost, and her experience was so different than mine. I’d never even had a girlfriend.
But it didn’t change the way I felt.
While I was sad Katarina lost the man she loved, I thought there was a real possibility she and I could have something. The chemistry was there. I felt it when we slept together, and I know she did too. The friendship was there, and we had formed a companionship that was comfortable and fun. I probably wouldn’t feel this way if we hadn’t already crossed paths, but we had. She was the only girl who caught my attention, married or not married.
But this would be extremely complicated.
I wanted to talk to her about it but I didn’t think now was the best time. We were in a public place and she was at work. Picking at an old wound wasn’t smart until we were alone together.
“Cato?” She stared at me with a raised eyebrow. The tone of her voice suggested she had said my name several times before I noticed.
“Hmm?” I stopped thinking about her husband and how he died. Was it an unusual illness? A car crash?
“You okay?” she asked. “You seem…somewhere else.”
“Sorry,” I said. “I was just thinking about…work.”
“And what about it?” she asked.
“We have a meeting coming up.” I totally pulled that out of my ass.
“Okay.” She looked at her menu. “I thought Joey said something stupid to you.”
No, nothing stupid.
“What did you talk about while I was gone?”
Uh… “Amy.”
“Is he really into her?”
No. He’s still into you. “As far as I can tell.”
“Good,” she said with a nod. “I’m glad to hear it. Joey deserves a great girl. He’s one of the best guys I know.”
And he’s obsessive and territorial. Since she wanted to marry me, I didn’t see the harm in keeping the truth from her. It seemed to make her feel better so I let it go.
“I wasn’t expecting you to join me for lunch.” She stared at me like she wanted an explanation.
“I missed you.” I gave her a smile that she both loved and hated.
She rolled her eyes dramatically. “I’m sure you did.”
“A lot, actually.” That was the truth. “Want to go paintballing this weekend?”
She stared at me blankly like she hadn’t understood me. “What?”
“Paintballing,” I said. “You’ve never been?”
“You can’t figure that out based on the look on my face?” she said sarcastically.
I chuckled. “Me and the guys are going. I want you to come.”
“I’ll pass.”
“I’m not taking no for answer.”
“I don’t even know how to do paintballing.”
“You don’t do paintballing,” I said, trying not to laugh. “You go paintballing. And you didn’t know how to skydive and you did that just fine.”
“But that was freefalling,” she argued. “Anyone can do that.”
“Come on, Milkshake. You’re a smart girl. You’ll figure it out.”
“Thank you for inviting me, Cato. But no thank you.”
“Wrong answer,” I said. “You’re coming even if I have to drag you.”
“I’d like to see you try,” she said threateningly.
“I’m at least a hundred pounds heavier than you,” I argued. “You’ll do as I say.”
“And I’ll stab a pen in your throat and deflate your lungs.” She gave me a confident look like she wasn’t bluffing.
I smiled. “That’s pretty hot.”
Both of her eyebrows shot up. “I just threatened to kill you.”
“I know…that’s hot. If you’ve got this much of a backbone then you’ll be great at paintballing. Other girls will be there too if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“What other girls?” she asked.
“A few of my friends have girlfriends,” I explained. “They’re attached at the hip. I can’t get them to do anything unless they bring them along. Annoying…”
“I don’t even know how to play.”
“I’ll teach you.”
She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest.
I leaned forward and lowered my voice. “You want to know what I like about you?”
She watched my face intently. “What?”
“When you get out of your comfort zone, you’re a lot of fun to be around. And I like that side of you.”
“You can have fun with any other girl.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” I said. “You’re the only girl I want to have fun with.” I knew I was getting into dangerous territory but that didn’t stop me.
She tilted her head to the side. “Are you hitting on me?”
I shrugged. “What if I am?”
“I can never tell if you’re joking.”
I shrugged again. “I’ll tell you after we go paintballing.”
“No. Before.”
I stared her down and held my silence.
“Cato?”
“Give me your word you’ll go paintballing with me and I’ll answer your question.”
“I don’t need to give you my word,” she said. “I never lie.”
I laughed even though I wish I wouldn’t. “You’re paying me to be your boyfriend. I’d say you’re a big damn liar.”
She shook her head. “That’s a special circumstance. And I will go paintballing with you.”
“No matter what answer I give?”
“Yes.”
“Okay,” I said. “Yes, I’m hitting on you.”
A slow smile stretched her lips. “You’re going to get fired, you know that?”
“I can’t get fired. I’m a partner in the business.”
“You’re going to piss off Danielle.”
I shrugged. “I piss her off all the time anyway. This is just another thing to add to the pile.”
“She looks like she has a good backhand.”
I absentmindedly rubbed my cheek. “She does. I know from experience.”
“Then maybe you should stop hitting on me.”
“I would if you would stop flirting with me.”
Katarina gave me an incredulous look. “I don’t flirt with you.”
“Yes, you do,” I said firmly.
“When?” she demanded.
I leaned over the table and grabbed her neck. Then I pulled her lips to mine and gave her a crushing kiss. My hand rested on her neck and relaxed the hold so she could pull away if she wanted to.
But she didn’t.
I moved my mouth against hers, tasting her. She reciprocated, releasing a gentle breath inside me.
Then I pulled away to the sound of our lips breaking apart. I gave her a triumphant look.
She looked dazed, like she wasn’t sure what just happened. Her lips were slightly parted and her hair was a little messy from where my hand had been. She was speechless, and she grabbed her menu without looking at me.
I rested my elbows on the table and gave her a smug look. “Point proven.”
She finally regained her voice but her eyes still looked like they were on a cloud. “Kissing isn’t flirting.”
“Then what is it?” I asked. “A step past flirting.”
“You kissed me. I didn’t kiss you.”
“Give it time,” I said smugly.
“I don’t understand you,” she said seriously. “You could have any woman you want so why are you trying to go after a client?”
“The heart wants what it wants, baby.”
“But I told you I don’t date.”
“Why not?” I asked.
She looked down at her menu and dismissed me.
Why wouldn’t she just tell me? It was nothing to be embarrassed about. “In case you haven’t noticed, we’ve been dating.”
“What?” she asked. “Paying for your services doesn’t count.”
“And what about
all the times we hung out without the exchange of funds?” I asked. “There’s been quite a few, and now we’re going paintballing.”
“That’s not a date,” she argued.
“Yeah, it is.”
“Listen to me, Cato.” She put her menu down. “I don’t date. Period.” Anger flashed across her eyes, and I knew this was something she was particularly defensive about.
“Well, you like me and I like you. Let’s give it a shot.”
“I don’t like you,” she said with disdain.
“I’ll kiss you again if I have to.”
“Yes, I’m attracted to you,” she admitted. “But that doesn’t mean I want anything with you.”
“I beg to differ.”
She slammed her menu down. “Knock it off, Cato.”
“No. I’ve been patient with you but it’s clear you need a push.”
“A push?” she asked. “No, I don’t.”
“You can’t hide from the world and refuse human contact,” I snapped. “Life is too short to live in misery, and you need to show me that backbone again and look the world in the eye and conquer it. You’re stronger than this, Katarina. Put yourself out there and give love another chance.”
“You don’t know anything about me,” she whispered.
“I know you deserve to be happy. Stop shutting yourself down, and let someone in. If you cracked your heart open, just a smidge, you would realize what you’re missing out on.”
“I don’t have a heart to open,” she said coldly.
“You do,” I said firmly. “I know you do. You really want to live the rest of your life this way, going from meaningless fling to the next meaningless fling? There’s a lot more out there and you’re missing out on it. Give me a chance, Katarina. You won’t regret it.”
She stood up. “I’m done with this conversation and your services.” She walked off and exited the restaurant.
I sighed as I watched her go. I’d never been in this situation before and I wasn’t sure how to handle it. I’d never wanted a woman like this before, let alone a widow. But I wouldn’t give up. I wasn’t sure why I liked her so much, but I did.
I walked to her office and walked passed her secretary’s desk without stopping at her protests. I walked inside then locked the door behind me. Her secretary tried to turn the handle but it wouldn’t budge.
Katarina stood at the window and looked across the vineyards her family owned. She didn’t turn to face me.