by E. L. Todd
“Cato!” I had my chest covered.
He opened the front door then slammed it.
***
I went to the bar Cato frequented in the hope I might see him. I searched the booths, feeling out of place for walking around alone. After taking a quick scan, I didn’t see him.
“You look lost.” A guy leaned against the table I was standing next to.
With one look, I recognized him. “Jett?”
“Hey.” He raised his glass to me then took a drink. “On the prowl again, huh?”
So, Cato told him he we were done. “I’m looking for Cato.”
“Why?” he asked.
“I need to talk to him. Please help me, Jett.”
That smug smile left his face and he seemed uncomfortable. “I can’t help you. Sorry.”
“Don’t be like that.”
He took another drink before he set his beer down. “I pick on Cato a lot because I think he’s an asshole, but in reality, he’s one of my boys and I have his back forever, whether it’s against bros or…the other one.”
“It’s a misunderstanding.”
He shrugged. “Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. All I know is, Cato has never been so hung up on a girl before. Now that he is, you keep hurting him left and right. I think he’s finally given up on the possibility of you two being together. Frankly, he should.”
“I don’t hurt him left and right,” I argued. “Where are you getting that from?”
He shrugged and took another drink.
“Give me his address.”
“You’re not really in the position to make demands.”
“What do you want?” I opened my purse and pulled out my emergency funds. It was two hundred bucks. “Will this get you talking?”
He pushed my hand away. “I’m not for sale, sweetheart.”
“Then please help me.”
“I’m on Cato’s side. It doesn’t matter how pretty you are. Those charms won’t work on me.”
“You should help me since you’re on Cato’s side. I can’t lose him. I love—” I stopped when I realized what I was going to say.
Jett’s eyes were wide and he continued to watch me.
Did I just say that? Was that how I really felt? Was it too soon to feel that way? I’d only known Cato for three months. Wasn’t it a little early for those feelings? And what about Ethan? Could I really love another man?
Jett continued to stare at me.
Was I actually pushing Cato away subconsciously because I was aware of this? Maybe I was doing this on purpose? I wasn’t sure. But it scared me either way. Terrified me, actually. It was one thing to date someone new but another to love them altogether. How would Ethan feel about it? “I…I have to go.” I grabbed my purse and ran through the doors like someone was chasing me.
***
Days passed and I didn’t bother calling Cato. I just wanted to be alone after I blurted out those words. I was still processing them, trying to understand exactly how and when it happened.
Sometimes I felt like I already knew Cato. I recognized his body language, the way he held himself and moved. His kiss was familiar, like I already felt it once before. Perhaps it felt familiar because it felt right. Instead of bringing me closer to him, it pushed me away.
I wish I didn’t have to act like this. I wish I didn’t have any baggage like normal people. I wish I could stop living in my own world and join the rest of society.
I wish I could have Cato.
But I was scared. How could this work? Would I really let him in and let Ethan go? It was hard to marry someone and assume they would be by your side forever and then have them savagely taken away from you. How did you go on after that?
But I knew I needed to keep moving forward. And the fact I pretty much already moved on with Cato was terrifying. Even if I felt that way and wanted Cato, there was no way to get him back. He seemed set in his decision. He despised me just like he used to.
I was sitting in the living room when there was a knock on the door. The only person who would visit me unannounced was Joey, and he was the last person I wanted to see right now. Just thinking about him pissed me off.
I grabbed a frying pan before I answered the door, prepared to smack him hard in the face if I needed to. Maybe he needed a wake up call. I’d gladly oblige.
But Joey wasn’t at the door. It was Cato.
He was leaning against the doorframe with his arms across his chest. He didn’t look at me. His eyes searched the hallway like he expected to see someone he knew. He crossed one ankle, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. His hair was a little messy but not in a bad way. And his body looked nice in his clothes.
I lowered the frying pan so he wouldn’t assume I planned to smack him. “Hi.”
“Hey.” He ran his fingers through his hair then stared at the ground.
Silence stretched—awkward silence.
“Do you want to come in?” I asked quietly.
“No.”
“Okay…” I kept my stance. I hoped he came over here with the intention of working out our relationship. I didn’t want us to end over a misunderstanding. I didn’t want Cato to think he meant nothing to me.
“What’s with the frying pan?” He didn’t look directly at me so I wasn’t sure how he spotted it.
“I thought you might be…someone else.” I set the pan on the nearby table.
“Who?” he asked.
“Joey.”
He finally faced me. “Is he bothering you? Or are you crying wolf right now?”
I deserved that. My cheeks tinted anyway. “Not exactly…he’s just being a jackass.”
“Tell me.” His arms were still crossed over his chest but his shoulders were tense.
I shook my head in annoyance. “He found out you were a professional escort and he threatened to blackmail me and tell my entire family I was so pathetic that I hired you to pose as my boyfriend.”
“In order to get you to do what?”
He already knew the answer. “Date him.”
He silently asked me what my response was.
“I told him to go fuck himself. I don’t care if he tells my family.”
Approval moved into his eyes. “I’ll take care of him for you.”
“Don’t do anything,” I said immediately. “He’s been working in business for years, so he knows the laws and the courts well. If he really wanted to make your life miserable with a lawsuit he could.”
“You think I care?” he hissed. “No one threatens my girlfriend like that.”
My heart swelled in joy and I felt the corners of my lips upturn in a smile. “Your girlfriend…?”
He looked into the hallway again.
I moved toward him to wrap my arms around him.
But he halted me in my tracks by extending his arm. “Whoa, hold on.”
Defeated, I stepped back. We were so close but now we were far away again. “Cato, I said I was sorry. I meant it. I didn’t kick you out because I saw our relationship as meaningless. Honestly, I just wasn’t thinking. Please forgive me.”
He crossed his arms again and remained quiet.
I stared at him, hoping he would accept my apology.
“I talked to Jett.” He turned his eyes on me.
“I ran into him at a bar…”
He nodded. “He told me something interesting.”
I crossed my arms over my chest because I suddenly felt vulnerable. “Yeah?”
“You said you loved me.” He searched my face for a reaction. “Jett said it slipped out. Is that true?”
I didn’t know how to respond. I may have felt that way but I wasn’t ready to talk about it. “It might be…”
Cato shifted his weight but didn’t come any closer. “Well, is it?”
I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, feeling nervous. I was being put on the spot and I didn’t like it. I was starting to sweat.
“Why won’t you answer my question?”
“Just because I feel
that way doesn’t mean I’m ready to say it.” My voice came out weak and quiet.
His eyes lightened. “But you do…feel that way?”
I nodded slightly.
“That was the only reason I came back here. I hope you realize that.”
“Then I’m glad I said it.”
He relaxed his body then wrapped one arm around my waist. He pulled me to him and pressed his forehead against mine. He held me outside the apartment, his chest pressed against mine. He gave me a gentle kiss on the neck, soft enough to be from the touch of a butterfly.
I closed my eyes and enjoyed it.
“You really hurt me.” He brought his face back to mine.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t hurt me again. I couldn’t handle it a third time.”
“When was the second?” I asked.
“Actually, the first.”
What?
He led me inside the apartment then closed the door. Now we weren’t out in public for everyone to see. His hands moved to my hips then he kissed the corner of my mouth.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he whispered.
“You want to spend the night?” I hoped the gesture wouldn’t come off fake. It wasn’t just a false act to keep him around.
“Yeah?” His lips curled into a smile I’d come to love.
“Yeah.”
“I’d love to. As long as you’ll be there when I wake up.”
“Of course I will.”
He grabbed my chin and forced my look on him. “Promise?”
He’d never made me promise anything before. It must be really important to him. “I promise.”
***
I wore my t-shirt and panties while he slept in the nude. He faced me in bed, his arm around my waist with his forehead close to mine. I hadn’t had a guy sleep over in years. The last man I slept with all night was Ethan.
“I’m surprised it bothered you so much,” I whispered. “You strike me as the kind of guy who lives for one-night stands.”
“I was. But we both know I’m different with you.”
“I’ve never seen you so upset.”
“You drive me crazy.” He ran his hand up and down my hip, trailing his fingers across the skin.
“Crazy?” I asked, slightly playful.
“Insane.” He rubbed his nose against mine. “You like bowling?”
The question was random. “Why do you ask…?”
“You want to go bowling tomorrow?”
“Why do you always want to do an activity?” I asked with a laugh.
“Because they’re fun. And I have fun doing them with you.”
“Well, I’m not the best bowler,” I said. “I’ve only done it a handful of times.”
“I didn’t ask if you were the best bowler. I just asked if you wanted to bowl with me.”
“As long as you don’t tease me.”
He released a faint chuckle. “That’s impossible. I’ll always tease you.”
“Good to know…”
He pulled me closer into him. “It’s a good thing. I only tease the people in my inner circle. And you’re officially in it.”
“I am?” I felt his hard chest.
“Yep.” He looked into my eyes. “But you already knew that.”
***
“Is this okay?” I wore jeans and a Rolling Stones t-shirt.
He looked me up and down. “More than okay. You have great taste in music.”
“You like them?”
“They are on my top five.” He grabbed my hand and we left the apartment.
“Who else is on the list?”
“The Doors, Jimi Hendrix, Alice in Chains, and Black Sabbath.”
“Good lineup.”
He rubbed his nose against mine. “I knew you were special. I just knew it.”
We entered the bowling alley then grabbed our gear.
“A few friends are joining us. Is that cool?”
I thought it was odd that he didn’t mention this until we arrived. And I already met his friends countless times. What was the need for secrecy? “Just the guys?”
“Actually, it’s an old friend with his wife and daughter.”
An old friend? “Like, they’re a family?”
“Yeah, but they are good friends.”
“Why would you invite them to bowl with us?”
He shrugged. “I thought it would be fun. Are you really that averse to getting to know new people?”
“No,” I said immediately. “I just find it odd you didn’t mention people would be joining us.”
“Why?” He put his arm around me. “You wanted me all to yourself, huh?” That cocky look was back on his face. I missed it so I didn’t make a smartass comment back.
“Yeah…I guess so.”
“Not surprised.”
We reached our lane and Cato’s friends were already there. A man who looked middle age but young was tying his shoes. He had thick arms like Cato, and when he stood up he was just as tall.
“Hey, Cato.” He clapped him on the shoulder.
“Hey.” Cato acknowledged him back. “This is my girlfriend, Katarina.”
I shook his hand. “Call me Kat. It’s nice to meet you.”
He smiled while he took me in, his eyes glowing. “Call me Tom. It’s lovely to meet you.”
His wife came next. “Wow, you’re so pretty,” she blurted.
I blushed but chuckled. “Thanks. I’m Kat.”
“It’s great to meet you.” Instead of shaking my hand, she hugged me.
I was caught off guard by the affection but I returned the embrace. “You too.”
“I’m Lisa.” She pulled away and smiled. “And we’re excited you’re both here.”
A girl a few years younger than me joined us. “Hey, Cato.” She didn’t hug him, just acknowledged him with a nod.
“Hey, Amber.” He nudged her in the side then introduced me. “This is Kat.”
Amber shook my hand quickly. “You sure you want to be with this loser?”
I chuckled. “I think he’s a winner.”
She rolled her eyes. “Wait until you get to know him better.”
“Are we going to talk shit all day or are we going to bowl?” Cato put on his shoes then set up the bowling schedule.
“Told you.” Amber flipped her hair then sat down.
Lisa sat in the chair beside me. She had bright blonde hair, and she had a little extra weight along her hips and thighs. But she was fairly thin. “So, you work for a winery?”
“Yeah, my family owns it. And I drink it.”
She laughed at my joke. “I love wine.”
“I’ll get you a bottle,” I offered. “They’re just lying around the office. And if I don’t hand them out, I’ll end up drinking them.”
“First world problems,” she said with a laugh.
“I know, right?”
Cato bowled first and rolled a spare. “That’s how it’s done, boys and girls.”
“Shut up, Cato,” Tom said. He stood up and bowled next.
I turned to Lisa. “How do you guys know Cato?”
“Uh…” She shot him a look before she turned back to me. “Tom was his professor in college. They’ve been close ever since.”
“Oh, that’s really cool.”
“He’s like a son to us. We enjoy spending time with him.”
“Cato is a pretty terrific guy,” I blurted. “He wasn’t what he seemed in the beginning but he turned out to be a lot more than I ever could have imagined.”
She smiled while she listened to me. “He’s a catch—if you can get him to be serious.”
I chuckled. “True.”
“Cato mentioned you’re a widow…”
“Oh yeah.” I shrugged. “He passed away five years ago in the military.”
“I’m so sorry, dear.” She patted my back. “That must have been hard.”
“It was,” I said. “I’ve been alone ever since. Well
, until Cato.”
“You deserve another chance at love,” she said. “And I think Cato will be the perfect guy for that.”
“I’m starting to think that too.”
Amber rolled, and she surprised all of us by rolling a strike. She gave Cato the bird. “Now that’s how it’s done, asshole.”
One side of Cato’s mouth lifted into a half smirk. “Brat…”
It was my turn so I picked up the ball and put my fingers inside it. I got ready to roll it then swung my arm back.
“Baby, stop.”
I looked over my shoulder. “What?”
“You’re doing it all wrong.” He tried not to laugh. “You’re going to dislocate your shoulder at that rate.”
“I told you I wasn’t a good bowler.”
“But you didn’t tell me you were totally clueless.”
I glared at him. “Are you going to help me or are you going to continue being a jackass?”
That cocky smirk came back. “I’ll show you.” He helped me with my form and stood behind me as he taught me how to aim and roll. “There. Now you won’t break your arm.” He smacked my ass playfully. “Now do it, milkshake.”
I rolled the ball, and to my astonishment, I rolled a strike. I jumped in the air and threw my arms out. “Oh yeah! Look! I did it!” I turned to Cato and watched him smile. “I rolled a strike.”
“I know. I saw.”
I jumped into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist. “Look who’s got competition now?”
He gripped my ass and kissed me. “I’ve always wanted a woman to kick my ass.” He kissed me as he carried me back to the chairs.
“Well, you got it.” I forgot about his friends.
“Get a room,” Amber said as she rolled her eyes.
“This is a room.” Cato sat down with me on his lap.
“Gross,” she whispered.
Cato’s turn came up again and he left me alone in the seat.
“You guys are cute together,” Lisa said. She couldn’t stop smiling. It was like her face was permanently stuck that way.
“Thanks…”
“Tom and I wondered if he would ever settle down. I’m glad he has.”
I was surprised his old professor cared about his personal life. Maybe they were closer than he let on.
We continued the game until we finished. Cato came in first and I came in a close second.