My mouth dropped when I saw her disappear and come back with nothing on. I took another drag on my cigarette and watched her standing there topless. I couldn’t see past her waist, but the top was fine enough for me. She wasn’t doing anything erotic, just standing there. Finally she ducked down and disappeared. I had hoped she’d make another appearance, but after ten minutes I gave up and went back inside.
Was she taunting me again? Was this some sort of game she was playing with my mind? I wished I could say that it wasn’t getting to me, but it was. I needed to blow off some steam; to get out of here for a few hours and unwind.
I grabbed my keys off the counter and headed out.
There was nothing more relaxing than being on my bike. It was loud and prevented me from hearing people talking about me or yelling at me. I was free when I was on it. I drove all around those long dark roads, until finally I ended up a few towns over at a local dive bar.
The front lot was filled with motorcycles and people outside smoking cigarettes. I removed my helmet and immediately lit up. The music wasn’t what I normally listen to. They were playing country, and as I entered inside I noticed people line dancing in the center. I headed straight to the bar and ordered a beer.
I never turned around to watch the people dancing. I didn’t talk to anyone, including the bartender, unless it was for another drink.
After I had ordered my third beverage, a woman approached me. “I haven’t seen you around, honey. Are you just passing through?”
The woman was about forty. Years of alcohol had caused wear and tear on her body, and I was certain at one point she was probably a great time. “Just passing through, yeah.”
“That’s too bad. I could have used the company tonight.”
I gave a quick laugh. “I’m giving up on women.”
“Well that would be a damn shame. You’re quite the looker. Someone must have really done you wrong.”
“Yeah, you could say that,” I said as I took another sip of beer.
She grasped my arm. “If you want to talk about it, I’m a good listener.”
I let her keep her hand there. I wasn’t into her, but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She was obviously just trying to be nice. “Thanks for the offer. I just don’t feel like talking. I came here to forget, ya know?”
“Honey, we’re all here to forget something,” she admitted.
“Well cheers to that.” I said as I held my bottle up and clanked it against hers.
I ended up buying the woman a drink before I decided to hit the road. I had already pissed off enough people in my life. I didn’t need to make any more enemies.
When I finally arrived back home it was after two. The lights in the main house were all out. I was quiet as I made my way to the pool house. Once inside, I stripped down to my boxers and got in bed. As much as I tried not to think about it, Hope flooded my mind. When I succumbed to sleep I dreamed of her all night long, again.
13
I didn’t hear my father and Buffy leave, but after I looked at the clock, I knew they had. I stayed in bed as long as I could until I heard noises coming from downstairs. I managed to get myself up and dressed before deciding to take a trip to the hardware store, alone.
My father had left me his credit card, as well as fifty bucks in case I wanted to have friends over and order pizza. He knew I wasn’t into having parties, so there was never a question of trust there, even though he’d teased me about it.
During that long bath I’d finally relaxed; and when I started to drift off while still in the tub, I climbed out and went straight to bed. I worried that I would be restless after my confrontation with Chance, but I slept through the night without waking up.
Once I was dressed and pulled my hair up in a ponytail I headed downstairs to grab some fruit to eat before I headed out. I found Chance in the kitchen reading the newspaper while eating an apple. At first, I ignored him, while I looked in the fridge for something to take with me. When I realized he was eating the last apple I was frustrated.
“Thanks for eating my breakfast.” I announced.
He looked down at the half eaten apple and tossed it across the counter. “Help yourself, princess. I lost my appetite.” His eyes were filled with hostility as he turned and marched outside.
I stood there shocked. Did he really throw an apple at me? Furthermore, did he just call me princess?
The blood was boiling in my body. I rushed out behind him leaving the door wide open. “What did you call me?”
“You heard me.”
“Say it again, Chance. I dare you!”
He turned around and laughed at me. “You dare me? What are you going to tell your daddy? I’m so scared.” He threw his hands up in the air. “I don’t have time for this shit today.”
“Wait! How dare you talk to me like that.”
He walked up to me, his eyes never leaving mine. When he seized my arm I tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let go. “Talk to you like that? What about you, talking to me like that. It goes both ways, Hope. Maybe you should practice what you preach.”
Tears filled my eyes when I remembered what I had said to him only hours before. “Chance, wait!” He kept walking away from me. “Chance!”
After I waited at least two minutes and he didn’t come back, I headed into the house and located my keys. I cried all the way to the hardware store. It took me about three seconds to pick a color for my room, and I didn’t even care if I hated it. I waited as the guy mixed it for me and then paid for it. I then took my time getting home, stopping by a drive-thru to grab a milkshake to try and settle my nerves.
I wasn’t in a rush to go home, or to paint. My best friend was away with some strange new boyfriend, and I was stuck home alone with the douche-bag, who hated my guts.
Perfect.
When I pulled up at the house I noticed Chance on a ladder. He had removed his shirt and sweat glistened all over his back. Even as mad as I was at him I couldn’t help but stare at his perfectly sculpted ass. Every muscle in his shoulders was well-defined. I tilted my glasses down to get a better look, but as I did he turned to look my way.
I clutched my purse and the paint stuff, pretending like it never happened.
When I reached the front door he’d already gotten back to hammering away at something. I headed into my room and started covering everything with plastic. Once I got the paint out and began working on the corners, I lost track of time. I had my IPod hooked up to speakers and sang along to the music as I focused on my task.
A few hours had passed and I was already done with all of the cutting in. The edges and the corners were all painted with two coats. I’d chosen a grayish-blue color and it went perfectly with my black and white comforter set. I didn’t want my father to have to buy me a new one when mine was in fine shape.
I poured more paint into the pan and started rolling the walls. A song that I loved came on and I began singing it, belting out the lyrics. I was facing the window when I heard someone laughing. I jumped so high before I turned around and saw Chance leaning against my doorway. He had his arms folded against his chest and a smile on his face. I ran toward the IPod and turned off the music.
“You should think about trying out for American Idol,” he cackled.
“What are you doing in here, Chance?”
“Well, I came inside to make a sandwich, but when I heard you singing I had to check it out. I didn’t know it was actual singing. It kind of sounded like you were in excruciating pain. God knows I was after hearing it.”
I picked up a paint brush and threw it straight at his face. Before he could duck, blue paint slapped against his cheek. He took his hand and ran it across the wet paint on his face. “You little bitch. Did you just throw a paintbrush at my face?” He ambled toward me, and had me cornered. I couldn’t run. I was pressed up against the wall.
“Chance, I’m sorry. Really, I am. I swear, I didn’t mean to-.” To be honest I wasn’t sure if he was going to hurt me, o
r torture me. Neither sounded pleasing.
Chance kept my body pressed against the wall. His teeth were tight together and he looked so pissed. He gripped my wrist and squeezed until I let go of the roller I had in my hand. Once he was holding it, he held me tight with one hand and rolled the paint from the top of my head down to my chest.
I closed my eyes and screamed, but nobody could hear me. Once he was satisfied, he let his guard down and I stole the roller out of his hand, flinging the paint toward him. He didn’t bother wiping it off, but instead came running at me knocking me down onto my plastic covered bed.
I expected him to hold me down and torture me, but instead he just stared. With one hand he moved a piece of hair out of my face while keeping his eyes on mine. We were both breathing pretty heavy from the chase, and him being this close to me made me forget why I was mad at him in the first place.
When he brushed his lips against mine I let out a quiet moan. Our faces were covered in paint, but our mouths didn’t care. Chance’s bare chest was pressed against me and once his tongue found mine, I couldn’t keep myself from reacting. He started to pull away, but I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him back.
I couldn’t stop kissing him.
I didn’t want to stop kissing him.
He tasted like salt and heaven, and I wanted more.
I’d thought about him so many times, longing to be with him again.
Chance reached down and lifted the bottom of my shirt. I helped him get it off, and even unhooked my bra before he made the attempt. When his hands cupped my breasts I threw my head back and let out another moan. He stared into my eyes while he licked each of my nipples slowly, like he was savoring them. Before he backed away he kissed each of them again. I pulled him up to my mouth and stroked my tongue against his. When he stuck out his tongue for me to take, I sucked on it before releasing it and savoring those lips again.
My mouth made its way down his neck and this time he was making the sounds.
His hands were on my pants. They didn’t have buttons so he kneeled down next to the bed and pulled them off of me.
I must be dreaming.
This couldn’t be happening, not after everything.
I’d denied myself this for too long. All of those cold showers led me right back into her arms. I couldn’t help myself. I had to touch her, to feel her lips against mine. I wanted to taste her again. I kissed her stomach and then each of her thighs. She knew what I was going for and she spread her legs wider for me. As my mouth touched her sweet spot she arched her body back in pleasure.
I didn’t give a shit about the paint, or the fact that five minutes before I wanted to strangle her for how mad she’d made me. This hunger that I had for her had been growing for weeks. I yearned for her touch, and to have her hands all over me again.
I entered her with such passion, and immediately knew that this wasn’t what I was used to. Hope wasn’t my girlfriend. Hell, I didn’t know if we were even friends at all. The only thing I was sure of was that I couldn’t deny how much I wanted to be close to her. All of the fighting had only intensified this encounter, making it very powerful.
Hope clung to me as I flipped us all around, making use of her whole room. She held me close while I savored her lips and satiated my own needs. We were too caught up to consider the repercussions. In this moment only she and I existed.
When I finally finished she held me tight against her body. I looked up into her eyes as she stared back at me. We kissed slowly, savoring our experience. God, had I missed those lips.
“Chance.”
“Yeah?”
“I missed you.”
I wanted to tell her that I missed her. Hell, I wanted to say a lot more than that, but I couldn’t let myself feel that way again. I promised her father I wouldn’t do this. I was going to be a dead man.
“I can’t, Hope.” She started to pull me back against her. “It isn’t that I don’t want to. I promised your father that I wouldn’t. I can’t lose the only family I have left. I’m sorry.” I said as I stood and pulled up my shorts.
“He doesn’t have to know. Please don’t go.” She was begging me. I had to get out of there before I did something we’d both regret.
“Hope, there are things that you don’t know about me. You wouldn’t want me if you knew the truth. I can’t change the past. We can’t keep doing this. You know it isn’t right.” I tried to explain.
“I don’t care about your past. Don’t you get that? I just want to be with you. It’s all I think about. All of these weeks trying to avoid you have made me crazy. I thought you hated me. How could you sleep with me again if you knew it would amount to nothing?”
Her eyes were starting to fill with tears. My heart was so cold. I hated hurting her. “Please don’t cry.”
“Are you still mad at me for what I said last night? I didn’t mean it. I have no idea why I said it. I just wanted you so bad and you wouldn’t even look at me. It was making me furious. That night we spent together was wonderful, and then you were horrible to me. I don’t understand you, Chance. Was I just a fuck to you?”
“I did look at you. I looked at you so many times. All I thought about was that night. It’s been driving me crazy since you walked out that morning. You think I wanted to wake up and make you leave? I was afraid of what would happen if you stayed.”
She captured me and twisted her hands into mine. “Tell me why you don’t want me then. Why can’t we just sneak around and be like? What happened to you? What could be so bad that it makes you not willing to let me in?”
“I told you that I promised your dad. I would be homeless if he found out, Hope. Is that what you really want?”
“Of course not, but there has to be a way for us to be together. I like you, and I’m pretty sure you like me, too.”
If I told her how many times I’d thought about ways we could be together she’d think I was a stalker. “I’ve considered every option. Maybe if you were eighteen it would be different.”
I tried to look away but she caught my attention. I could tell she was in one of her determined moods. I’d seen her using this same strategy to get something out of Mark. The girl was relentless when she wanted something. “So it’s because I’m not eighteen? Jesus, technically I am. I graduated high school. I’m independent. What more can I do?”
“That’s just it. You can’t do anything. I made a promise to Mark that I wouldn’t touch you. Please, can you just understand and leave it alone?” I couldn’t argue about it anymore. I leaned over and kissed her forehead, leaving my lips there for a longer time before walking out of her room, and heading back downstairs.
Fighting about it was hopeless. It wouldn’t get us what we wanted, which was apparently each other.
14
I stayed in my room for the next few hours, bawling my eyes out. I truly believed that at any minute Chance would come back into the house and say he’d changed his mind, but he never did. When I finally realized he wasn’t coming back in, I got redressed and finished painting my room.
I kept myself occupied, but never belted out a tune again. After another hour’s worth of work, I managed to get everything cleaned up, except for myself. I mostly had paint on my face and in my hair. There was still some on my arms, but it was peeling right off.
I thought about taking another bath, in hopes that it would make me tired and I could go to sleep. I needed to eat, but the last thing I wanted to do was see someone who did not even want me, someone I was never allowed to have.
I had to do something. There had to be a way for us to be together. I couldn’t stand living in this house another moment and knowing he was just outside my door. My mind was a cesspool of knowledge, and I couldn’t find a loophole. There was no way my father would ever let me be with Chance, and he wasn’t willing to go against my dad’s wishes. It was almost as if my dad had something on him.
He kept talking about things from his past, and his sister even hinted about something
bad that happened. I felt horrible for saying those things about him living in a pool house. I don’t know why I’d done that. The worst part is that I thought the pool house was great. If he could only see the shack that we had to live in at my grandmother’s he would have been appalled.
It was Saturday night and I was hiding out in my room from someone I didn’t want to hide from at all. I need to feel him. I just wanted to be close to him.
Then it hit me. I knew exactly what I had to do, but getting the nerve to do it was going to be another story. Modesty was never a downfall, but being with a guy was. Somehow, when I was with Chance, I never felt embarrassed. He made me feel so desirable. Just thinking about the things he did with his tongue gave me goose bumps. I was standing in the middle of my room running my hand over my lips with my eyes closed. I must have looked ridiculous.
With a plan mapped out, I knew what needed to be done. Instead of getting in the shower, I headed down to the pool.
I had no idea where Chance had gone, but once I got outside I made it my mission to hunt him down. I didn’t have to walk far. He was sitting at the picnic table smoking a cigarette. “You know those things will kill you?” I hated the smell of them.
He smirked. “Yeah? So will your father when he finds out I fucked his daughter, for the second time.”
I watched the smoke exit his lips. It made me think about what he had done with that same mouth earlier. The way he said the word “fuck” gave me butterflies between my legs and I was already so turned on just being this close to him.
I bit my lip and approached him.
“Do you care if I go swimming?” I asked in my sexiest voice.
“Nope, you don’t have to ask permission.” He answered, while never taking his eyes off my mouth.
I ran my hand over my neck and down the fabric of my shirt, taking my time once I got to my chest. My lips were parted just enough where he could see my tongue licking across my top teeth as I watched my own hand sliding down. I took my shirt into my hands and pulled it over my head slowly, while I faced him. When I looked at him again, he was sitting at the table with his mouth wide open. He was even more shocked to notice I wasn’t wearing a bra.
A Hope and a Chance Page 9