To be honest I was shaking like crazy. If he thought this show was at all easy for me he was insane. Had it not been for us already having sex, I wouldn’t be doing it at all. It was my last desperate attempt at getting him to want me.
Was it pathetic? Probably, but I was still going through with it.
He caught my eyes with his and snapped his attention to being serious. I was afraid he would be mad. “What are you trying to do, Hope? Are you teasing me on purpose?”
I watched as I ran my hands up my smooth skin. Without looking over to see his expression, I answered him. “I was kind of hoping you would want to watch.”
I didn’t wait to see his reaction. I turned my back to him. Slowly, with even more courage than it took for the shirt, I slid my pants down off my feet and dove into the pool. I surfaced in the shallow end, making sure my breasts came out of the water enough for him to see. I played around splashing in front of me, while I looked directly at him.
“Come on. What are you waiting for?” I said quietly again, while I rubbed my hands from my neck to the back of my hair.
“Please don’t do this to me. I’m trying so hard to do the right thing here.” He put his face into his hands. “I know I screwed up twice already, but this has to stop. I’m making an adult decision. You’ve got to respect that.”
“I’m not even near you. You don’t have to touch me, if you don’t want to,” I taunted him. His mouth was saying one thing, but his eyes were in a different place. I could tell he was already fucking me in his mind and it made me want to keep it up. His hands may not have been touching me, but it felt like they were. I was in a pool of cool water and felt like I was burning up.
“You’re killing me.” He put his head between his legs and tried to gain composure. “Please stop fighting me on this.”
I was determined to keep at it. He had to give in. There was no way he was going to walk away with me doing this.
“What if I had a solution?”
He crossed his arms, like my idea wasn’t going to be a good one. I couldn’t help notice his muscular biceps flexing as he did it. “Just one weekend. Be with me for one weekend. By Monday you can go back to ignoring me like you normally do.”
He observed me with pain in his eyes. When he stood up I got excited, but then I watched him shake his head and walk into the pool house.
I stayed in the shallow end sulking for a few more minutes until I realized I’d made a complete fool out of myself. I should have just stayed in my room. There was nothing more humiliating than what I’d just done. My eyes filled with more tears and I knew I would never be able to face him again.
Just as I started to climb out of the pool I heard a splash coming from the other end. Before I was able to turn I felt his hands around my waist.
His lips found my shoulder and he kissed it with his tongue.
Chance turned me to face him. His hands cupped both sides of my face. “Do you have any idea how crazy you make me?”
I closed my eyes. “Please kiss me. Just kiss me.”
Our lips connected, and then he slowly pulled away. “One weekend, Hope. That’s all I can give you. You’ve got to promise me that you won’t push for more.”
He brought his lips to mine and I realized why he’d gone inside. I pulled away from him. “You brushed your teeth?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t want you to have to kiss an ashtray.”
“Kiss me again. Don’t stop.” I pleaded.
His lips were on mine again.
I couldn’t help myself. It was bad enough that I’d left her for a second time after sleeping with her, but I couldn’t say no when she stood in front of me naked begging me to spend time with her. I cared about her, and I didn’t want her sitting in the house crying thinking I didn’t want her the way she wanted me.
She had to know if I could change things I would. I tried to rationalize this with myself every day since that night and the same conclusion kept coming up.
I wanted her.
It wasn’t just for the sex either. I was crazy about this girl in every way. Day after day I let myself feel again. She was the reason, and I wanted to be able to at least experience what it would be like if things were different.
From the moment she stripped down in front of me I could feel myself weakening. I should have told her that when I went inside it was only to wash the cigarette taste out of my mouth. I didn’t want her to have to smell something that dirty. I think she was shocked when I jumped in the pool and reached my arms around her. Her skin felt smooth to touch with the water all around us.
When I reached down and kissed her soft lips I knew that there wasn’t any other place I needed to be. I may have broken a promise to Mark, but was it right to break a promise to myself? There was something about this girl that made me feel like I couldn’t be without her, something that kept me wanting more. Not just for the purpose of physical interaction, but also the idea of connecting with another person again.
As we continued to kiss, I felt her hands reaching down to my waist. She pulled away when she realized I wasn’t wearing any shorts. Hope moved back looking both shocked, with a sense of excitement.
“What?” I asked, wondering why her lips were that far away.
“Nothing. I’m just happy, that’s all. I was starting to come to grips that you weren’t going to change your mind.”
While our tongues mingled around together I floated us over to the steps that were built into the pool. I managed to sit myself on one of them, while I pulled her on top of me without breaking our embrace. My hands reached up and grabbed a chunk of her wet hair and I gently tugged her head back. She reached for my mouth again, presumably to give me more of that sweet tongue. I let her think that our lips were close enough to touch before pulling back again. When she repeated the attempt for the third time I watched her stick out her tongue. I stuck mine out and slid it against hers before finally giving in to her unspoken request.
Our kissing became more aggressive, even going as far as our teeth touching a few times. Her body began rocking up and down on top of me and I knew she could feel how rock hard I was underneath her.
Since we were in the water she was able to arch her back in a certain way and remain floating. This gave me an excellent view of her perfect tits. She wrapped her legs around my waist which enabled me to free my hands. I slid them from her waist to the underneath of her breasts. The water made it easy to maneuver. With one hand still holding the skin just beneath her breast, I pulled her toward me again so that I was able to lick over her right nipple. She moaned as I drug my tongue roughly against it then bit the tip. I latched onto it and repeated the process, knowing damn well that this was the attention she craved.
“Oh, God, yes!” She called out, falling back and letting me have free reign.
She started grinding her ass against my obvious erection. Next I reached down with both hands and guided her to do it harder. I could tell she was ready for me, even under the water. My finger slid right into her slick opening and I began to move it in and out. I used my thumb to rub her soft spot above it and she moaned into the dark of the night. I could feel her muscles tightening around my fingers, while her lips found mine again. Even though I was aware that she hadn’t been a virgin our first time, for obvious reasons, I could tell that in some ways she was inexperienced. There was no way with just the little effort I was making that she’d be so consumed. I appreciated that she found it to be satisfying, considering it had been a long time since I’d felt the touch of a woman.
It was easy to slide inside of her again, after just having done it earlier. Our emotions were in sync, and for the time being nothing mattered except the two of us.
The friction from the water allowed it to somehow feel even tighter, making it difficult for me to be able to keep control. As much as I wanted it to last longer, I knew it was going to be impossible. Like our first time together, I was too captivated by her beauty to be able to focus on anything else. “Pleas
e don’t stop, Hope,” I whispered near her ear. I could feel the heat rising to the tip of my shaft, and she could tell from the sounds that I was close.
I captured her by the waist and flipped her around. She gasped as we became unattached, but I quickly filled the void when I slid in from behind. I thought that if I couldn’t see her face that I’d be able to last longer. My attempt was short lived when I peered down at her fine ass. My head rested against her shoulder, and I held her body tight against mine as I began to lose control.
I kept her close to me on the steps while we both regained steady breaths. I could tell she was just as exhausted as I was.
Holding her, feeling her hot body so close to mine, only reminded me of one thing.
One weekend was never going to be enough for me.
15
When Chance and I finally decided to get out of the pool he rushed over and grabbed two towels, wrapping one around me before doing the same for himself. He then pulled me back into his arms. I let mine reach around his back while my head fell against his hard chest.
“I’m sorry for calling you a princess,” he whispered into my hair. “I don’t think of you that way, Hope. I’ve never thought that about you. I was just so mad at what you said to me. I thought of the first thing that would piss you off the most and used it as a weapon.”
I squeezed him tighter. “I’m sorry too, Chance. I hated that you wouldn’t talk to me. I only wanted your attention. I would’ve deserved for you to call me much worse. I know I acted like a spoiled little bitch. The thing is, what I said was uncalled for.”
“God, I don’t want to hurt you.”
I moved my head away, allowing me to look up at his face. “So don’t.”
He studied my expression and I could tell my words caused him frustration. He closed his eyes and furrowed his brows like he always seemed to do when he became stressed. “It isn’t that easy. You understand, right?”
I’d always thought that when you liked someone you pursued them. In this case there was much more to factor.
“Why can’t I be with you? Tell me why.” At this point I needed to hear him say it. I wanted it to come from his mouth now that I knew for sure our feelings were mutual.
“I told you this already. I promised your dad.”
“That’s not a good enough reason for me. Who actually lets someone else make decisions like this for them? This is about us.”
“You’re right. It’s not just about your dad. I wish I could talk about it, but it’s not going to happen.”
I had to look away for a second to hide my disappointment. Once again he was shutting me out. I didn’t know what else to do to get his attention, aside from throwing myself in front of a moving vehicle. I’d taken off my clothes and practically begged. It was embarrassing. “Sorry. I just don’t understand.”
“Please, don’t ruin tonight. I promise that when the time is right I’ll tell you. I just can’t talk about it now.”
I had two choices. I could keep pushing until I pissed him off, or I could let it go and be content with the time he was willing to give me. He spoke before I could venture with my own response.
“Will you just drop it?”
I wanted the truth, but I longed to be with Chance more. I couldn’t risk ruining this weekend by pushing him away. He needed to know I trusted him, even if knowing the truth could possibly hurt us. Obviously whatever it could be was bad enough that he refused to openly talk about it. “Okay.”
He smiled and traced the edge of my towel. “Since we’ve got that worked out, do you want to maybe come inside with me?”
I reached down and tangled my fingers into his. Without saying another word, he led me to the pool house.
He pulled me through the small apartment before we came to a stop in front of his bed. My towel fell to the floor, and I watched Chance back away to take in my body. I felt uneasy until he began to speak. “You’re so beautiful, Hope. I’ve never seen anything so perfect.”
I looked at Chance. His hair was wet and appeared almost black. Beads of water still sat on his shoulders. He was taking me in with his deep brown eyes. He lifted his hands to the back of his head, causing his biceps to flex. I paid close attention to the tattoo on his skin, and how it somehow made him seem tough.
As he continued looking at me I backed myself up on the bed. He didn’t say a word when the towel dropped and climbed beside me. We lay side by side staring into each other’s eyes. “I don’t deserve you,” he whispered.
“Don’t say that. Everyone deserves to be happy,” I answered, never taking my eyes off of him.
“You don’t understand what I’ve done; what I’ve been through. I wish I could explain. I know you want the truth. I just can’t.”
“It’s okay. We don’t need to talk about it tonight. I promise I won’t ask. Chance, my ex was a total douche. He cheated on me, and lied. I get that people make mistakes. We all have a past, but you’ve saved me twice so far, and I can’t accept that you’re as bad as you say you are.”
He let out a sigh and turned to lie on his back. His hands came up to his face, and he held them there. Worried, I leaned up and tried to pull them away, but he refused.
Then I heard him chuckle. Realizing he was turning this into a game, I tried with both hands.
“Stop! Stop! I don’t want you to see my face,” he teased.
Finally he gave in, letting me remove them. I leaned in and kiss him gently on the lips. He clenched the back of my head and wouldn’t let me up.
I reached to both sides of his stomach and started tickling him. Before I knew what was happening, he’d flipped me over so he was on top. His fingers rubbed over my mouth and I parted my lips as he did it. He kept moving them from my neck, down to the skin between my breasts. Chance leaned in and kissed me there on my naked flesh.
I figured that he would keep teasing me, but instead he laid his head down and closed his eyes. I ran my hands through his hair, and took in how amazing it felt being with him this way.
We were silent for a while. I honestly thought he’d fallen asleep, but just as I let my eyes close, I heard him speak. “Will you go to the beach with me tomorrow?”
“I’d love that,” I answered, before finally allowing myself to fall asleep in Chance’s bed, with his arms wrapped around me.
When I attended college my mother kept telling me not to get tied down to one girl. She said there was so much out there for me to learn before I settled down. Of course, at the time I didn’t believe her. I ended up getting into a serious relationship and thinking that she was the person I would marry, and have a future with.
Back then I was hoping to study law, so that once my baseball future was over, I’d have something to fall back on. My full ride derived from my love of the game, and before my life was ruined I was pretty sure that I had an opportunity to play in the minors, if not the majors.
My girlfriend’s father was a prominently, well-known lawyer and he’d always said he was going to take me under his arm, and eventually get me into his firm. I looked up to the man, and found myself wanting to make him proud of me. My father was never a big part of my life so I always felt like he was the closest thing I had. I never realized that my ex was just a way into a lifestyle that I never knew. She’d been a backup plan.
I thought I knew what love was. I believed that I truly felt that way for her. Even after losing the relationship and the support of her family, I thought I hurt so much because it had really been love.
Now I knew better, because it was nothing compared to the way I felt when I was with Hope. I’m not saying that after being around her for over a month that’s what it was, but it was definitely something spectacular. Her touch was electrifying and I craved her energy. The way she looked into my eyes made me feel like she saw through my fears. She didn’t care what was standing in our way, as long as we were together. That meant so much to me, even when I knew it was forbidden.
The problem was that I couldn’t tell he
r. If she knew the truth, she wouldn’t stop trying. There was no way her father would change his mind about me; especially now that the police were breathing down my back again. There was certainly no way in hell I could tell him that I was with Hope that night. She would never forgive me and he would kick me out, or blame my sister.
I wanted her to understand, but it was easier said than done. Hope had gone to extremes and I felt really bad about it. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the show, but she didn’t have to do that. She should have never doubted my feelings. I wanted to tell her so badly. I’d practiced it in my head a million times. It just seemed like telling her the truth would only hurt her in the end. I promised her this weekend and after that we’d have to stop.
There was no way she could find out she was that important to me. Too many lives were at stake. My happiness had to wait, so others could have theirs. As much as it hurt, I knew it was how it had to be.
I’d give Hope a great weekend, tell her the truth about my past, and then wait for her to push me away. She would know everything, and that could only lead to one conclusion.
Our relationship would never be.
I tried to sleep, but it was impossible with my bare skin against hers. I just wanted to savor every moment that we had, knowing at any moment it could be our last. It hurt to even think about.
I held my head up and watched her lying there. She seemed so peaceful, and if she’d been feeling half as bad as me, she hadn’t been sleeping very well lately. I could never seem to close my eyes at night knowing she was so near.
It was difficult knowing that we couldn’t have this. We’d have to go back to pretending nothing ever happened. After having her so close, it was going to prove to be damn near impossible.
A Hope and a Chance Page 10