Royally Screwed: A British Bad Boy Romance

by Jessica Ashe

  “Yeah, I’m sure she will be.”

  “So you haven’t asked her?”

  “She’d be a princess. Who wouldn’t want that? That’s what she deserves.”

  “Just promise me you’ll check with her first, before you go storming off and making all the decisions. You’ve brought her into this mess. It’s the least you can do.”

  “Okay, I promise. Now put Liam on. I haven’t spoken to that little scamp in ages.”

  * * *

  I’d hoped that organizing lunch for Sophia and her friends would cheer her up a bit, but it hadn’t helped much. She’d been different these last few days; distant, as if she always had something else on her mind. I kept trying to talk to her about the future, but all I ever got in response was a series of polite nods and murmured ‘okays.’

  We went back to York, and Sophia decided to attend classes as normal. No doubt she’d attained some degree of celebrity status in the past week, but for every person who stared at her, two more would pretend she didn’t exist. University students were far too cool for that kind of thing, or so they thought.

  Miraculously, I managed to get a degree of privacy in the coffee shop on campus. Admittedly, I sat in a dark corner and hid behind my computer, but I still kept expecting reporters to burst in at any minute. If there was one thing that could be said for students, they did tend to move on quickly. It was no longer ‘cool’ to be obsessed over Sophia and me, so they acted like I wasn’t there. That was just fine with me.

  I’d been avoiding the online press as much as possible since this whole thing started, but when I finally looked at the media coverage, I realized why Sophia had been feeling a bit despondent.

  There were hundreds of pictures on her online with me, but she was always referred to in a way that made her seem secondary to proceedings. The only detailed articles written about her went into exhaustive detail on her fashion choices, and the opinion pieces weren’t always that kind.

  No wonder she didn’t want me to become a prince. The spotlight hadn’t been kind to her so far, and I hadn’t done anything to help.

  “I always wondered how Clark Kent managed it, but apparently it’s possible to be incognito in public with just a pair of glasses.”

  I looked up and saw Ellie standing over me with a fresh cup of coffee which she placed down in front of me.

  “Thanks,” I replied. “I’m going to need that. Sophia doesn’t get out of class for another hour. Any idea how things have been for her today?”

  “No,” Ellie replied with a shrug. “But I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

  “She’s been a little down lately.”

  Ellie looked away awkwardly. She knew something. “I’m sure she’s fine.”

  “It’s about the pictures, isn’t it?” I asked.

  Ellie breathed a loud sigh of relief. “I’m so glad she told you about them. I knew you’d understand. Everyone does the sexting thing these days, and she was engaged to the guy at the time.”

  I nodded along, teeth gritted tightly, and the blood boiling in my veins, as Ellie kept talking about how unfair it was for women to get such a hard time for sending nude photos even though everyone did it.

  Once Ellie went back to work, I finished the coffee—even though it was the last thing I needed—and patiently waited for Sophia to meet me.

  She and I needed to have a little talk.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Sophia

  I only had an hour until my next class, but as far as George was concerned, that was more than enough time to sneak back to my dorm for a “quick shag” as he would probably describe it.

  From the intensity on his face, you’d think it had been a month not a day since we’d last had sex. He practically dragged me up to my room as if his life depending on being inside me.

  I wasn’t about to complain.

  “What’s this about sex pictures?” George yelled the second the door was shut.

  Well that quickly put a dampener on proceedings. How did he know? He’d either been through my email or…

  “Which one of them told you?”

  “Ellie. It’s not her fault. She thought I knew. Now tell me what the hell is going on.”

  For Stan’s sake, I was glad he was in another country, because George looked about ready to kill someone right now. I knew he’d be mad, but I hadn’t expected this.

  “My ex-fiancé has pictures—and short video clips—of me. Naked. And doing… stuff.”

  “Jesus fucking Christ.”

  “He’s threatening to release them and demanding money.”

  I wanted to cry, but I had to stay as calm as possible. One of us needed to or this would all blow out of control.

  “Have you responded?” George asked.

  “No, I’ve just ignored it. It’s not a big deal.”

  “Not a big deal? How exactly is this not a big deal?”

  “He doesn’t know about your inheritance, so he’s only expecting money if you become a prince, which you’re not going to do.”

  George paced up and down the small dorm room rubbing his head with his hands and groaning loudly. He looked about ready to punch the wall, and knowing how thin they were, he’d likely go right through it.

  Why was he so worked up by this? They were pictures of me not him, and if he wasn’t going to become a prince…

  “You’re considering it, aren’t you?” I asked. “You want to become a prince?”

  “I could make a difference,” he replied. “We could make a difference. Or at least, we could have done. Fucking hell, Sophia, what were you thinking?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, what were you doing sharing naked photos of yourself in the first place?”

  “He was my fiancé,” I replied defensively. “Why shouldn’t I? Believe it or not, at the time, I hadn’t planned to leave him at the altar and hook up with a fucking prince.”

  “This is going to mess everything up. You shouldn’t have done it.”

  “Excuse me? What right do you have to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do with my body? It’s not like your moral code is perfect. You married me for an inheritance remember, so save the fucking lecture.”

  George clenched his fists, and kept pacing until he finally calmed down.

  “You’re right, I’m sorry.” He wrapped his arm around me and brought me in for the hug I desperately needed. I could hear his heart still beating fast, but at least he was trying to calm down. “I didn’t mean that. Send me the email and let me deal with it.”

  “No,” I replied, keeping my head pressed against his chest. “I don’t want you getting involved.”

  He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me away from his chest, before looking deep into my eyes. “If you think I’m going to let someone threaten you like that and get away with it, then I guess you don’t know me that well.”

  “And if you think I’m going to let you incriminate yourself in all this then I guess you don’t know me that well either.”

  “It seems we’re at a standoff, Mrs. Whittemore.”

  George smiled, but it was a smile covering layers of anxiety, and wasn’t in the least bit reassuring.

  “This might all go away,” I said.

  “You know Stan. Do you think he’ll drop it?”

  I paused, but then shook my head. “Only if you drop out of the limelight. I don’t think he’ll release them for the sake of it, because they are embarrassing for him as well.”

  “How so?”

  “He wasn’t quite so well-endowed as you, let’s just leave it at that.”

  George grinned, and this time it looked like he meant it. You could always make a man happy by complementing his penis. I should remember that.

  “But if I become a prince, he’ll go ahead and leak the photos?”

  I nodded. “There’s a simple solution to all this.”

  “No,” George said.

  “You don’t even know what I’m going to say yet.”<
br />
  “Yes I do. You’re going to propose we get divorced now, and then I become a prince without you by my side.”

  “The photos won’t mean a thing if I’m not your wife,” I explained.

  “And being a prince won’t mean anything unless you’re my princess.”

  This time I couldn’t stop myself from crying. George hugged me tightly as my tears fell and were soaked up by his shirt. He was right; I’d messed everything up. Not just for him as a prince, but for us as a royal family.

  If I’d never sent those photos…. I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t regret it.

  “I’m going to sort this mess out,” George whispered in my ear. “I promise.”

  “You should leave it alone,” I sobbed.

  “I can’t,” he replied. “I’m not letting him do this to you.”

  It was impossible to be worried while in George’s arms. He gave off the scent of a man who fixed problems, and I knew he’d fix this one as well.

  I just worried how he would fix it.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  George

  I had to look at the photos. I didn’t want to—I really didn’t want to—but I needed to know what we were dealing with.

  It wasn’t good.

  Sophia certainly hadn’t been shy in front of the camera. I couldn’t pretend not to have received a few messages like this myself in the past, but on most of them you could only see one body part—not the face.

  Stan had an entire collection of pictures and videos that left no doubt as to who the woman was.

  I’d promised Sophia I’d deal with it, but there was one tiny problem with that. I had no idea how. I sent an email threatening him with legal action, but he just sent another back pointing out that by the time the case had gone through the courts it would be too late.

  They might not be illegal anyway. I mean, they were his photos, so he could probably do what he wanted with them.

  My preferred option was to get on the next flight to California and kick seven shades of shit out of him, but that wasn’t realistic. My calendar had already been filled up with charity events, and the palace was working on scheduling an interview for me where I could announce my intention to be a prince. I barely had time to piss, let alone fly to the US.

  Sophia had described Stan as sensible, in addition to being a slimy piece of shit. He wouldn’t want to release the photos if he didn’t have to. They wouldn’t do him any favors with the ladies, and there were some less than flattering video clips showing him making faces that would forever haunt my dreams.

  What had Sophia seen in this guy? How could a woman as perfect as her, be with a guy like this? All I knew was that I had to get her out of this mess; even if it meant paying him off.

  I called Harry. I paid him to make me look good, and get me out of difficult situations. He knew me well enough to expect a sex scandal at some point, so a blackmail attempt wouldn’t be completely unexpected.

  “How can I help, George?” Harry said, as he answered the phone.

  “I need to know a bit about the royal finances.”

  “Okay, I’ve been looking into that.” I bet he had—probably wanted to know how much he’d get paid if he worked for me. “The short version is that you aren’t going to starve and you’ll always have a roof over your head.”

  “Yeah, I kind of gathered that. What about general spending? Do I get given access to a huge bank account?”

  “It doesn’t really work like that I’m afraid. All the money comes from the taxpayer—except for any funds you have from outside the family—so spending is closely monitored.”

  “I thought the family had an annual budget of millions of pounds.”

  “They do, but most of that goes on security. They aren’t living the high-life for the most part I’m afraid.”

  Bugger me. This was not good news. Or was it? Maybe I could work this to my advantage.

  “Just to be clear,” I said, “there’s no way I could get access to about six hundred thousand pounds without jumping through quite a few hoops?”

  “Good lord, no. Not unless it was for housing or security. Why all the questions? Is there something I should know about?”

  “No, everything’s fine. Do you have the big interview scheduled yet?”

  “It should be in three days’ time,” Harry replied. “I’m just waiting for final confirmation, and then I’ll let you know.”

  “Okay, do me a favor, would you? Start spreading things in the media about how I’m considering becoming a prince to do my civic duty, even though it will mean forgoing family wealth, blah blah blah. I want the public to know that there is no money in it for me.”

  “That’s fine. It’s not like I’d be lying.”

  “Thanks, Harry.”

  If I became a prince, I couldn’t pay Stan’s bloody ransom demand anyway. I’d always known being a royal meant a lack of freedom, so it’s not like I was surprised. It didn’t matter to me. As long as I could look after Sophia and give her the life she deserved it wouldn’t be a problem. I could inherit the money, give Tabitha what she needed, and then give the rest to Sophia. Simple. Then I’d be a prince and she would be a princess.

  Or she’d leave.

  She’d never promised to spend her life with me, and our vows wouldn’t mean much given the circumstances. There was nothing stopping her from getting on the first plane back to America. She wouldn’t want to hang around with the threat of those photos over her head like a sword. She’d want to leave the limelight for good, unless… unless I ended this for good.

  I emailed Stan again.

  I cannot and will not pay the ransom. You might think princes swim in pools of money, but that isn’t the case. I won’t even have control over my own bank account. Google it if you don’t believe me.

  That might have been a slight exaggeration, but who cared.

  Look up the royal finances if you want a better idea of how it works. The only money I can spend is the money I have already. I’m happy to make a cheque out to you for £25.60 if you like.

  I should have stopped and sent the email then, but I couldn’t help myself.

  I don’t know what Sophia saw in you, but she’s under my protection now. Anyone who threatens to hurt her will have to get through me first. If I see you so much as wish her a happy birthday on her Facebook page, I will decide to make a little royal visit to California for a personal introduction. You know the best thing about overseas visits? Diplomatic immunity. I can’t be prosecuted for anything that happens to you. Think about that.

  Did princes get diplomatic immunity? Probably not. Hopefully he wouldn’t google that as well.

  You had your chance with her and you blew it. Now stay out of her life.

  I hit the send button then sent a text to Sophia.

  I’ve dealt with it. You won’t be hearing from Stan again.

  Thank you, came the reply.

  I typed out three words, but hesitated before sending the reply. I’d wanted to say them for ages, but it wasn’t right to do it over a text.

  I’d tell her the next time I saw her. She needed to know how I felt. Nothing about this marriage felt fake anymore, and that scared the shit out of me.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Sophia

  I arrived at the lecture hall ten minutes early and was one of the first to take my seat. That way I wouldn’t have to deal with everyone staring at me and gossiping as I walked in.

  My usual seat was still available; it was the perfect spot for me. About one third of the way up, so I was close enough to see and hear everything clearly while not being so close that I could practically count the professor’s nose hairs. The back rows had always been a no-go zone. I’d never been popular enough to sit at the back when I was younger, and that attitude had kind of stuck with me.

  I opened my books, and kept my head down as everyone else walked in. I didn’t see the stares, but I could feel them. People were looking at m
e, and there was far more talk than normal for a class that started at nine in the morning.

  Fortunately, if there was one group of people that didn’t give a shit about celebrity gossip, it was history professors.

  “Settle down, everyone,” Professor Jackson yelled out. He stubbornly refused to use a microphone during class, but he seemed to enjoy the shouting. Professors like Jackson were one of the reasons I had come to England to study. He looked a bit like a stuffy Harvard professor with the elbow patches and mismatched pants and jacket, but the messy hair and erratic way of talking gave him that ‘Hogwarts professor’ vibe that only a non-native could really appreciate. The locals all just took it for granted.

  “I hope you all used the break constructively,” Professor Jackson began. “At the very least, I hope you made it through the assigned reading.” That much I had done at least. It had taken me three times as long as it should have thanks to the distraction that was George and his penis. “I’ve started receiving some of your essays, but there are many more still due. Make sure you have them to me by the end of the week. Now we’re going to move on to the period following the execution of Charles I.”

  It felt so good to be back to some degree of normality. I still couldn’t hear the word “prince” without thinking of George, but fortunately that word didn’t come up too often. It would in future classes, and I’d have to deal with it, but for now I was safe.

  Professor Jackson had steadfastly refused to let laptops into the classroom, so we all scribbled notes on paper as he spoke. I preferred writing by hand anyway—you retained more information that way.

  I’d always enjoyed these classes, but I didn’t want to just enjoy them any longer. I wanted to ace them. Hell, I needed to ace them. There was no way my grades would stay private. They’d be leaked so quickly The Sun would probably know them before I did. I couldn’t just coast along and try to get a 2:1, but settle for a 2:2. I had to aim for a first class degree.