Almost Blinded to Love

by A. Mistory

  Cali cried a bit, and I held her hand. In a minute she reached for me, and was in my arms, and sobbing her heart out.

  "I-it scared me, Mimi. He really scared me, and I never wanted to wear a skirt again, I was so afraid of him."

  I felt as if I could put two and two together now. That, plus the ongoing harassment from her brother and sister, and a cold mother added up to one heck of a huge case of insecurities. I wondered again how much she'd had to screw up her courage to venture forth on her own when I first met her. God, she had been ripe for disaster. Had I somehow known that? Whatever, I was glad I'd met her. Cali was a great friend, and a wonderful person, and as kind-hearted as could be. Cali had to rank right up there with Carole and Jessi.

  Cali kept crying, but quietly now, her head on my shoulder near to my breast, her body at an odd angle as mine was in holding her. Soon, though, I heard the sounds of her soft breathing, and realized her head had migrated a little further down to where it was atop my breast. I didn't mind. It felt kind of good to hold her, to comfort her like this, to caress her head, my fingers fixing hair that didn't need to be fixed, or messing it up, one.

  "He's gone now, Cali, and so is your brother and sister. You have some good friends that love you. Carole, Jessi, and me, and even Cindy and some of the others too that want to get to know you better. You're among friends now, and you won't be left alone. I promise you won't," I said rashly, but felt it to be true.

  Cali was still quiet, then she finally began to move away from me. It seemed she was reluctant, and did so very slowly.

  "Th-thank you, Mimi. Thank you," she repeated. "You've been so nice to me."

  "That's what friends are for," I repeated the mantra, and braved a little laughter.

  Cali permitted herself to laugh too, but quietly.

  "Your front door locks automatically, right?" I asked.

  "Yes," Cali whimpered.

  "Come on. Let's get you in bed, and I'll make sure it's locked, okay. You can shower in the morning."

  She didn't argue with me, and let me lead her to her bedroom. I waited outside the bedroom while she brushed her teeth and changed, then I tucked her in. In the soft light that was on, Cali looked sweet and angelic, and yes, very pitiful. A little girl that had to scratch to get somewhere in a world that had shown her its backside at every turn until now. I wouldn't do that to Cali, and I knew Carole and Jessi wouldn't do that either. Cali had friends now, friends who loved her, and cared about her. She had grown in our hearts, and had become a part of us.

  "Sleep, Cali, and I'll see you tomorrow, right? At Carole and Jessi's?"

  "Okay," she got out.

  "I love you, hun. We all love you. You're a part of us now, okay?"

  "Okay. Yes. Thank you," she said so softly I could hear her breath with the words.

  "Good night," I said, and bent to kiss her cheek.

  That was almost a mistake. I felt her arms go around me, and another whimper that she let out, and I felt myself wanting to hold her all night, and keep her safe. After we hugged for a long time, I pulled back a bit, and kissed her forehead, then her cheeks, lingering too long at each spot. Cali sighed, and I felt her hands caressing my head, feeling of my hair for the first time. Cali was so tender and gentle in her touch, and it nearly brought forth a sigh from my lips.

  "Sleep, sweetie, and I'll see you tomorrow. Good night," I said, and kissed her again.

  As I got up, I know I heard a deep sigh. Going out, I made sure the door wouldn't open from the outside. I got in my car, and just sat there staring at Cali's door, my mind on nothing that I could tell, my heart inside with Cali. I really felt for her, for all that she had gone through, and felt really bad for her.

  Cali was too sweet a person to have been through so much coldness, she was too good a person to have come too close to disaster just after getting here. I thought of how lonely it was to know you were as alone as she was when I met her. In a moment, the freezing aloneness that had been Cali's for so long sent a deep, and violent shiver through my body. I had to get out, I had to drive, had to go home and hide from it myself, if I could, I thought, and doubted I'd be able to.

  When I got home, I fixed a hot tub, and sat in it, and still felt the shiver in my body that I'd felt in the car. I didn't even play with my clitoris, just sat and soaked, and hoped the chill would soon go away. I couldn’t help thinking of how we were always together, how Cali seemed glued to me, possibly making herself dependent on me. Why? Why wouldn’t she give anyone else a chance?

  It didn’t give me any warm feelings, but I knew Cindy liked Cali, but Cali would only dance with her as she did with some of the others. Had Cindy tried to talk her into a date? Maybe she wasn’t interested in Cali, but that didn’t seem true. Carole even alluded to Cindy maybe taking Cali from me as if she was mine, which she wasn’t.

  When I got in bed, it was forever before I fell asleep, and it was a restless sleep at that.

  Chapter 6

  When I awoke, I still had the sense of the wild shiver that overtook my body last night, and the way it possessed me all night long. At least it felt as if it had stayed with me. I had to talk to Carole and Jessi, or one of them, preferably Carole.

  They were both in, and I had coffee with them, and I told them about Cali. Everything, including how I felt, what all I had felt. I needed friends, Cali needed friends. Carole and Jessi were more than sympathetic, they were empathetic in many ways, for each of us had gone through our own days of misery before we got to the point in our lives where we were comfortable with whom, and what we are.

  "Jeez, she's had it extra rough, hasn't she?" Jessi said, all semblances of the carefree, sexy person gone from her voice and manner.

  "She's had the fuckin' crap slung in her face for too long," Carole said, somberly. "Well, I hope you let her know we love her, and she's among friends with us."

  "Yes. I made sure she knew it," I said. "I think she feels a kinship with all of us."

  "Honey, I don't want to be just saying it as I have been, but you have to know she's in love with you. You know that, don't you?" Carole asked.

  That was something I didn't want to face right now, nor consider it in any way.

  "I'm not sure," I tried to evade and avoid that question.

  "Honey, that gals mind is all over you," Jessi told me. "She doesn't see or know anyone else, and doesn't want to either. Why the hell do you think Cindy can’t get anywhere with her? She asked if you two were together,” Jessi said.

  I didn’t know what to say, so I just sat there. Cali and I were friends, and that’s all. If she danced with Cindy, why wouldn’t she go out with her? That question wasn’t welcomed by my mind either.

  “Dammit, I had to give her your spiel on it, and tell her you guys were just friends. Christ, babe, if you can’t see it, you may find her in Cindy’s arms when you do. Cindy ain’t bashful about it, girl. She likes Cali. Cindy is a nice person, and a good-looking woman too, but that girl’s hat is set for you. If you really want to be of help to her, you have to see all of this shit regardless of what you usually like, or don't. You have to see it, babe. Of course, if you don’t really care..." Jessi left off finishing it.

  “Yeah, Cindy is a good gal, and good-looking too,” Carole added in the way Jessi might have. I was surprised that wasn’t Jessi’s line, but they did share a lot.

  I just bent my head, and probably tried to hide my head in the sand. I loved Cali, but not like that. I'd never liked skinny girls. I tried to tell them both again, and maybe myself too.

  "If what you say is true, then I don't know what to do. I'm not attracted to skinny girls, and you both know that, so if you can think of anything, or anyone else that she might get interested in, or anyone that might be interested in her, have at it," I stubbornly told them.

  They both looked at me with the oddest look of pity, their heads barely holding back shaking in unison.

  "Poor, Mimi. God, you paint so beautifully, and see so many details, and yet you haven'
t seen how gorgeous she really is," Carole said. "She's not skinny, honey, and one of these days, you're going to see that, and you'll want her exactly the way I know your heart does already. You're as sickeningly in love with Cali as she is with you. I do hope you get to smell that beautiful pussy she must have before it's too late, and you begin to hate the opportunity you let pass you by. We're as worried about your hard-headed-ness as we are of Cali."

  "Carole's right, babe. I hope you don't let her pass you by. She is gorgeous. Delicate, but gorgeous. Cali is one sweet combination."

  I was outnumbered, and I knew it, so I began to take my leave.

  "You both coming tonight?" Carole asked.

  "Yes, unless Cali changes her mind for some reason or other, but I don't expect she will."

  "Good. Take care till then," Carole worried.

  They were the best friends anyone could have, but when they decided something was right, that's how it had to be for them. Then again, was it possible they were right? Was I being foolish in passing over Cali? I didn't feel my heart telling me that that was so, that I was in love with Cali, so I couldn't let myself be taken with Carole and Jessi's wishes for me, or for Cali whom I knew they both did love already as much as they did me. Cali was too sweet not to love.

  I wandered around for a bit trying to clear my head, wondering what I had gotten myself into, but resolved nothing. If anything was to be resolved, it had to be in Cali, and there was nothing I could do about her, save to be her friend as I was.

  * * * *

  When it was time, I showered, and dressed, then went to pick up Cali. When I got to the door, it opened, and she stood there. My mouth fell open, and my eyes were on her, and wouldn't leave, couldn't leave off looking at her. I knew this time that I was looking too long again, but Cali didn't do or say anything until I looked into her beautiful, deep brown eyes, and saw that sweet look in them. A small smile tried to come over her lips, and finally made it.

  I felt something different within myself, as if I had suddenly become possessed by a friendly alien being. It was as a presence deep within me, at the core of my being, small, powerful, all encompassing, and emanating its presence and power to me in the fullest sense, letting me know it dominated me in every way. I loved its presence, but I feared it. Still, it commanded me without words, moved forcefully in me as if to make sure I didn't resist. This presence let me know that it saw all, and worse, it knew all before I was ever born. I felt my legs begin to try to wobble, and that added to my fear. This was all too new to me. I'd never felt this way before, yet I knew it was akin to the days of high school when love was new to me, exciting and fresh in every way.

  I licked my lips, and began looking at Cali again. I couldn't help it; Cali was as I'd never imagined her. Cali wasn't skinny, she was slender and beautiful. My artist's eyes finally saw her, and told me that Cali was perfectly symmetrical, and beautifully so for one so slender. Perfectly formed, perfectly shaped, perfectly in harmony from one portion of her body to the next, even her legs.

  God, Cali's legs were gorgeous, so sleek and sweetly in harmony from her thighs, what I could see of them, though her dress was about three inches above her knees, to her the knees themselves, thence to her calves, and her ankles. Even her feet in the lovely sandaled heels were as perfectly formed as the rest of her was.

  Her breasts were not big at all, not as I thought I liked them, preferred them to be, lustful, oversized melons that I could grapple with. No, not big at all, but as form fitting as her dress was, I saw that they appeared to be full of breath, solid, most likely, and with nice nipples that strained to say hello to my eyes. I wanted them, as I wanted her ass which I'd never seen so tantalizingly displayed as her flared dress made her seem to be.

  Cali had her hair pulled back with a nice ribbon as she usually did, but it was somehow different, more exciting, or rather, exciting for the first time. How had I missed Cali's hair as being so beautiful, complimenting her brown eyes that were sparkling once more, but lovelier this time than the other times I'd seen them? Cali was suddenly the most beautiful girl—woman—I'd ever seen.

  I began to feel stupid, standing there with my mouth dumbly agape, having a hard time swallowing, and feeling my legs getting weak. So stupid! And yet, that alien within me let me know that all was as it should be, and not to be afraid. Afraid? Yes, I was frightened. No. Scared stiff! Scared to immobility.

  "I hope that means I look okay? Do I, Mimi?" Cali finally asked me, her voice singing to my heart.

  "Uh, yes," I got out, my voice about to crack on my dry lips. "You're, uh, beautiful, Cali," I said the words automatically, and blushed.

  I saw Cali's smile broaden in pleasure, and her face getting flushed, then that turned into a full-fledged blush just as deep as I was sure mine was.

  "Thank you, Mimi. I'm glad you're pleased," she said softly. "Uh, are you pleased?" Cali suddenly worried.

  "Yes. Very pleased. You look terrific."

  Cali let out the breath she was holding in, and came into my arms, hugging me, then kissing my cheek.

  "Thank you, Mimi. Thank you very much," she whispered. "Would you like to come in, or are we ready to go?"

  "Yeah, we better go, I think," I said.

  Once more, I was as a young kid in school, but it was not the same thing this time, though I nearly stumbled as we turned to go. Would I ever get past this night without making a fool of myself, if I hadn't already? More importantly, would I ever see Cali again? My heart began to worry. Had I put off seeing what I sensed I knew I should have seen weeks ago? It seemed like years, and also like yesterday.

  We drove in relative silence. I thought Cali would be nervous, or uncomfortable, but instead I sensed she was perfectly at ease. I was the one who was uncomfortable. My problem was that I was in a daze, my motions certain, but mechanical, forced. Even my breathing was forced, and there was an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach, one that teased at my pussy simultaneous with being a disturbing knowing in me. That alien in me was having fun with me, taunting me constantly, playing with my sense of being lost, unsure. Yet I loved it.

  * * * *

  "Oh, wow! Aren't you the beautiful one?" Carole enthused before even thinking of hugging and kissing Cali. "Let me look at you. Fantastic, honey, absolutely fantastic! How about it, Jessi? Doesn't she look terrific?"

  Before Jessi could say a word, Carole took Cali in her arms, and gave her a big hug, then a solid kiss on the cheek. I felt a mild bit of jealousy hit me, sobering me completely.

  "I always said she was gorgeous," Jessi said, hugging and kissing Cali as Carole had. “A genuine bombshell, girl. I get at least one dance, babe, and more if I can con you,” that mean Jessi had to rub it in.

  A miserable sense of exclusion hit me. I couldn't believe the feeling. Others were joining in saying hello to Cali, and complimenting her.

  "She's a heck of a looker, isn't she?" Carole asked, smiling too sweetly, then kissing my cheek.

  "Hey, Mimi, are you okay?" Jessi asked, also kissing my cheek. "She's a knockout, babe. You're lucky. Don't fuck it up, or I'll get really pissed at you, you hear?" Jessi whispered to me.

  I nodded. I must have kissed them back, or maybe hugged them, but I couldn't remember. Cali and I danced, and I felt as if I had lead in my feet, it was so hard to move them, but Cali was happy, and didn't seem to notice. When Cali danced with Cindy or someone else, that same lousy feeling was back into the pit of my stomach, but worse when it was Cindy. I could see her talking to Cali, and Cali returning Cindy’s smile with her own. It felt like shit.

  "I think you've finally seen her, haven't you?" Carole asked kindly.

  All I could do was to nod as I watched her dance with Cindy again, and try to stop a near anger that was being directed toward Cindy. The whole scenario was confusing me, my mind still as if frozen, not functioning as it always had.

  "Oh, God, you're a mess, honey," Carole said, sounding exasperated. "Just enjoy her, and it'll all work out. Just flow with it
, and don't fight it, you dope," she said, and kissed me lightly. "Please don't mess it up, babe. That doll loves you so much. Wake up, kid, wake up."

  "Thanks," I finally whispered.

  "Oh, God, Jessi, she's gone, but goodness only knows where," Carole said, and walked away.

  Cali came to me when her last dance was over, and smiled. My lips tried to smile back.

  "Want to go?" Cali asked.

  "No. We can stay for a while longer if you'd like to. Are you enjoying yourself?"

  "Uh-huh, but I'm worried that you're not. We don't have to stay, Mimi."

  "No. Let's dance," I said feebly.

  We did. When it came to a nice slow one, Cali laid her cheek flush against mine, and her hand went to the back of my head under my hair. I stifled a sigh, and leaned forward into her instead of backing away as my legs threatened to fold under me.

  "I feel so good when I dance with you, Mimi. Is that okay? Do you like dancing with me?"

  "Yes, I like dancing with you," I managed to get out, feeling as if I was being tortured, but sweetly. What my pussy was feeling I didn’t want to think about, but it was crying quietly.

  "Let's go back," Cali said. "Please, Mimi?" Cali asked softly.

  We said our good byes, and left. The good byes weren't as bad on me as the hellos, but I was still too silent, and I knew it. Worse, Cali knew it, but seemed at ease with it. This wasn't good for me. It couldn't be.

  Chapter 7

  "Would you like a drink, or something to eat?" Cali asked when we were in her apartment.

  "No, I'm fine. You go ahead if you want something."

  "How about a shower? Need one?"

  "I don't think so," I said, the prospect of taking one being suddenly terrifying to me.