Higher Love

by Alexandria House

  “Uh, I take it Trevia told you about Lloyd?”

  “Yeah, and I’m gonna pretend like I’m not hurt that you didn’t call me.”

  “Denise—”

  “It’s okay. I guess it’s still fresh and everything. So, where you at?”

  “In Virginia, remember? For the Neo Soul Fest.”

  “You’re still there with all that’s happened?”

  “Well…yeah. What was I supposed to do, catch the first flight I could get back home and pop up at his place acting a fool?”

  “Hell, yeah!”

  “Look, I’m a lot of things, but I’m not dumb. He’s been ignoring my calls. He blocked me on Facebook. He’s done, and I damn sure ain’t begging him to change his mind.”

  “So what are you gonna do?”

  “I’m gonna stay here and do my job. Take pictures, get a feel for this event. What I always do.”

  “No, I mean what are you gonna do about Lloyd?”

  I sighed as I appraised myself in the mirror. Denise had caught me on my way out to try and enjoy the third and final day of the festival. I had wanted to get there when the gates opened that morning, but this call thwarted that plan. “I’m gonna try not to think about him, and when I get home, I’m gonna try to get over him.”

  “Wow, if I had your attitude, I’d probably get into a lot less trouble.”

  “Girl, I’m thirty years old, and Lloyd is not the first man to disappoint me.”

  “But you were in love and engaged.”

  I rubbed a finger across my ring. “Apparently, his ass is still in love and engaged.”

  “Bastard.”

  “You know what upsets me more than anything? That I didn’t see this coming. I really thought everything was good.”

  “I know. I’m so sorry. I swear I wanna ride up on him and kick his high-yellow ass right now!”

  “Nah, it’s okay. Look, I need to head out. I’ll call you from the airport tomorrow.”

  “Okay, have fun.”

  “I will.”

  5

  I stepped onto the elevator, relieved to find it empty. The conversation with Denise had forced me to face feelings I’d decided to bury at least until this trip was over. I wanted to leave the hurt and disappointment back home in Texas and deal with the fall-out later. But now everything weighed heavily on me. The fact that my man had unceremoniously dumped me hung before my face like a seven-foot, flashing neon sign.

  I loved Lloyd. I really did. It wasn’t a devastating, Romeo and Juliet, “I’d die without you” type of love. But it was love—comfortable, reliable, “I can count on you,” love. And he really wasn’t that bad in bed, not as bad as I put it in that phone call. I mean, he wasn’t that good, either. But I loved him, so I looked past it. After all, sex isn’t everything.

  I was so deep in thought that when I stepped out of the elevator and found myself walking face-first into a great-smelling, hard broad chest, I mumbled, “Excuse me,” without looking up.

  “Hey, I didn’t know you were staying here, too. You disappeared on me after the show last night. We could’ve ridden back here together.”

  It was fine-chocolate-dreadlocks, AKA Derek. His thick lips were curved up in a disarming smile.

  I shrugged and tried to calm my heart, which was beating like a jackhammer for some reason. Either he had startled me or he was turning me on. I was too messed up in the head to readily tell the difference. “I figured I’d bothered you enough,” I said.

  His wide smile morphed into a lopsided one. “Never that, Monique.”

  I started to give him my real name but actually liked the sound of Monique.

  “Hey, you wanna wait a sec while I run up to my room? We can ride together,” he offered.

  I nodded. “Okay.” Maybe being in his presence would take my mind off of my shit show of a life.

  I stood close to the elevator bank and took out my phone, having decided to check my email. I had a couple of business-related messages...and one from Lloyd. Against my better judgment, I opened it.

  My eyes swept over the words three times before I shoved my phone into my little purse: I’m sorry.

  *****

  I purposely bypassed the liquor vendors after we made it to the park. Yes, I was bummed and supremely pissed, and hell, hurt to be damned, but I wasn’t going to spend my last day in Virginia, the day Maxwell was to perform, drunk. Plus, I wasn’t going to turn into some damn alcoholic over Lloyd’s ass, because if he could do this to me, he definitely wasn’t worth me ruining my life over. I had already humiliated myself by semi-drunk dialing him. That was as low as I was willing to let this situation take me.

  I wanted to be aware, maybe even hyperaware, of my surroundings. I wanted to absorb the sounds and sensations and tastes. I wanted my entire body to experience the sights and reverberations. I wanted my heart to feel the music instead of the absence of Lloyd.

  Derek never left my side, and I appreciated him for that since I was a total and complete bitch to him before. We perused the vendors, grabbed a bite to eat, and then found a spot on the grass to enjoy the music together. We shared some benign conversation about the food, the people, and the music. Nothing heavy or personal. He didn’t tell me his last name. Shoot, I wasn’t even sure if Derek was his real name, and I was fine with that since he didn’t know any of my actual names.

  When Maxwell hit the stage, he snatched our attention away from each other and everything else, but I did glance at Derek a few times, mused to myself about how handsome he was, how gorgeous his deep brown skin and eyes were, how nice and muscular his arms were, how good he smelled, how long his legs were, how dazzling his smile was. And before I knew it, a heat began to travel over my body. I chalked it up to some sort of rebound horniness, or maybe it was the music, or the sensuality that seemed to crowd the atmosphere like atoms in a molecule. But one thing was for sure, I wanted me some Derek.

  To try to cool myself down, I stood and danced to the music. He followed me to his feet, pumping his fist in the air to Ascension while singing along in a key that wasn’t even in the same universe as Maxwell’s. My strategy was working pretty well until Fortunate.

  As soon as Maxwell began belting out the falsetto intro, Derek grabbed my hand and shouted, “Aw, yeah! This is my shit!”

  I giggled as he pulled me to him and led me in a slow dance right there on the grass. I leaned into him, because something about being in his long arms just felt...right. Very right. Right and good. Extremely good.

  Maybe too good.

  I closed my eyes as we danced and thanked the heavens he didn’t try to sing along with the song.

  As Maxwell continued to serenade some unknown woman about the fortuitousness of him having found her, Derek pulled me closer, leaned down and gently nuzzled my neck. I felt the bulge in front of him as he pressed his body against mine, and my body temperature shot up. My core pulsated, and there was a fluttering in my stomach. There was something so insanely intimate about the way Derek moved...something very nearly obscene. Sure, he had excellent rhythm, but there was something else, a magnetism I could neither explain nor deny, and it made me want to climb him like a tree. From the moment I first laid eyes on him I was drawn to him, despite the attitude I’d given him. I couldn’t deny that.

  The music, the crowd, him—it all enveloped me and surged through me like electricity. It was as if for a brief moment, we all became one. There was a naked purity in that feeling, the feeling of being exposed but protected at the same time. As if we all held a mutual secret that only the people present would ever know.

  I looked up at him and slid my hands from his firm chest to his face, caressed his cheeks. He stared down at me; the smile that had become familiar to me was gone and a look that threatened to burn my flesh held its place. Our eyes locked and remained connected until a burst of applause sliced through our shared trance and reminded us where we were, that we were not alone, and that in truth, we didn’t really know each other. I stepped out of
his embrace feeling jaded, even a tad bit inebriated, as I reclaimed my seat on the grass. Derek sat beside me and grasped my hand in his as my heart thundered in my chest.

  6

  Derek left the festival before I did, as he had an early flight out the next morning. I decided to stay until the end to get some more pictures for my blog, but wished I’d left when he did. With him gone, I lost my focus on the concert. The music I’d felt such a connection to earlier faded into the background. The thrill of being in the midst of the crowd dissipated. The electric current surrounding me and coursing through me disappeared. I stood there as the baseline continued to thunder from the speakers and Maxwell crooned with expected precision. The people around me swayed to the music, but nothing felt the same in his absence. Time was marching on while I felt painfully stagnant. So moments later, I navigated a path through the crowd of melanated bodies and made my exit.

  As I stepped out of the Uber, which was a downgrade from the Escalade I rode in with Derek, I sighed. I had spent the ride back to the hotel wiggling in the backseat of the car with my legs tightly clamped shut when what I really should’ve been doing was fanning my private parts, because my mind was laser-focused on Derek and how it felt to be in his arms. How that bulge felt against my body. How his eyes had seared into mine.

  I was still hot and very bothered as I attempted to coolly stroll through the lobby to the elevator. I made the ride to the tenth floor alone, but Derek was still in my thoughts. I wondered how his hands would feel on my bare skin, gripping my naked butt. Or how his lips would feel on mine. Or how his tongue would feel—

  The doors slid open and I exited the elevator with sagging shoulders and downcast eyes. Looked up a second later and from the sign on the wall, realized I had gotten off on the sixth floor, not the tenth. I turned and hit the up button on the elevator, now both horny and frustrated. The sooner I got to my room, the sooner I could take care of my frustrations myself, because there was no way I was going to be able to sleep through the throbbing between my legs.

  The elevator opened with a ding and there he was, holding a key card in one hand and a candy bar in the other. He appeared just as surprised as I was as he stared at me before stepping out of the elevator and standing in front of me. My eyes never left him as the doors slid closed. There stood the remedy for an ache that was close to making me overheat. The scratch to a humongous itch. Reason fled my mind. Common sense was long gone. All I saw was him. All I felt was a need so deep and so great it was completely foreign to me. The magnetic pull of the man before me was nearly impossible to resist.

  After standing in silence for a full minute with his eyes fastened to mine, he said, “I’m in 620.”

  I merely nodded, and when he turned to leave, I followed him, watching his perfect ass in jeans every pace of the path to his room. He unlocked the door and ushered me in without speaking a word.

  I leaned against the wall and perused the room with my eyes, settling them on the neatly-made double beds. “You expecting anyone? A roommate?”

  He shook his head as he dropped the key card and candy on the desk. “No.”

  “That’s good.”

  “Monique—”

  I moved closer to him. “Let’s not beat around the bush. We know what we’re here for. I know what you want, because I felt it when we danced, and I’m sure you know I want the same thing. We’re both adults here, so my only question is: do you have protection, Derek?”

  He smiled. “Being an adult… hell yes I do,” he said huskily.

  “That’s good, too.”

  I reached up and placed my lips on his. When he wrapped his arms around me and swiftly pulled my body close to him, I dropped my little clutch on the floor and snaked my arms around his waist, parting my lips a bit, an invitation he accepted my dipping his tongue into my mouth. I moaned as his tongue found mine, moaned louder when his big hands found my round ass and squeezed. I followed his lead to one of the beds and didn’t resist when he eased me onto it, our mouths still connected. My sex was vibrating unbearably as I lay back onto the mattress. He broke our connection for a moment, peering down at me. Through labored breaths, he whispered, “Damn...”

  He must’ve been feeling what I was feeling, an inexplicable level of heat and passion, because he had echoed my thoughts with that one word. He placed his hand under my short skirt, his fingers sliding into my panties to my sex, stroking me. I gasped softly and arched my back, gazed up at him through intoxicated eyes and watched as he licked his lips. His mouth found mine again as his fingers continued to play a tune that threatened to send me over the edge.

  “Aw, baby…” he murmured against my mouth.

  He continued his torture for several minutes before I said, “Please…”

  Burying his face in my neck, he suckled on my heated flesh. “Please, what?” He lifted his head and looked into my eyes. “What do you want me to do?”

  “You know what,” I whispered.

  He slowly dragged his hand away from my sex. “You’re ready for me?”

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  He pulled my bikini top up to expose my breasts, gently tugged on an erect nipple, and said, “No, I don’t think you are.”

  I closed my eyes as he devoured first the right, then the left breast. “I am. Please…” I repeated.

  His mouth found mine again and our tongues danced for several minutes before he pulled away and said, “I think you might be ready now. Are you?”

  “I’m more than ready.”

  As I watched him undress and sheath himself, I sat up to remove my soaked panties.

  “Leave them on,” he commanded.

  Shit, okay, I thought. But rather than speak, I nodded and lay back on the bed, ready, willing, and able to give him all I had to offer. Especially now that I’d seen what he had to offer. Daaaaaaaaamn.

  “Turn over.”

  I complied without hesitation. I wanted, no, needed this man inside of me. If I had to follow a few orders for it to happen, so be it.

  I was on my knees, impatiently waiting, when I felt him climb in bed behind me. When he pressed himself against me, and without entering me, began to slowly grind against my butt, I almost lost it. Nothing in my life had ever felt so good. There was something about feeling him against me and knowing what was to come, knowing that as good as this felt, something even better was about to happen. I closed my eyes and moaned loudly. I was literally aching for this man. He rubbed himself against me for several seconds before I felt him slide my panties to the side and gently enter me. I grasped the sheets, released a groan as the length of his shaft slowly entered and exited my body.

  “Monique...” he said as he glided inside of me again.

  I offered him full access to my essence as I buried my face in the sheets and pressed my arms onto the bed, while keeping my hips raised and pushing my behind toward him. His hand felt warm as he placed it on the small of my back and plunged in and out of my moist center with increased ferocity, his other hand clutching my hip.

  “Derek!” I screamed, as he filled me over and over again. Tears pooled in my eyes as we rode the waves of passion. He felt so good inside of me, better than I’d anticipated. He sexed me with rhythm and expertise, his naked body dripping beads of sweat onto mine.

  “Yeah, baby?” he replied breathily.

  “You. Feel. So. Good.”

  He continued thrusting, leaned forward, dipped his tongue in my ear, and whispered, “You feel better than good, baby.”

  I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds of our bodies mating, our ragged breathing, inhaled the thick scent of our sex in the air. I wished this moment would last forever—our bodies fitted together like lock and key, our senses heightened, our passions fully fulfilled. But climax was inevitable, and I wanted to feel the expected explosion almost as badly as I wanted to postpone it.

  When we finally reached the peak together, I screamed, “Ooooh, shit! Derek!”

  As he collapsed onto my back, he said
, “Yeah, baby?”

  7

  The room was just as it was when we both fell asleep—my clothes on the floor, her bikini top half off, her skirt pushed up around her waist, the covers in a pile at the foot of the bed. The glow of the muted TV provided the only light; the singular sound was her soft breathing as she slept with her head on my bare chest, but the sounds of her humming and moaning still echoed around me, making my body want more of what she’d given me. I craned my neck and looked down at her, thought about her pretty round brown eyes that were now closed, wanted to kiss her full lips and taste her tongue again. I gently caressed the warm skin of her back. I was far from being a virgin, but what we’d shared was like nothing I’d ever felt before, and although I knew I needed to wake her up so I could get ready to leave, I didn’t want to. What I wanted to do was bury my face—or myself—between her legs. I wanted some more of this mocha-skinned woman who was a full foot shorter than me with soft curves and braided hair.

  If she wasn’t wearing that ring, I might’ve canceled my plans for the week and convinced her to stay in Virginia with me. The thing was, I didn’t know what her plans were or where she was from. I didn’t even know her real name—first or last. What I did know was I was drawn to her like a damn moth to a flame. There was something broken inside of her, someone had hurt her recently, maybe the man who gave her the ring or the one on the phone. And I knew it was dangerous to get involved with someone who was dealing with whatever she might have been dealing with, but I didn’t care. Hell, I was dealing with some shit, too. Some shit that should’ve had me running from this woman and any and all other women.

  But there was just something about her.

  I turned my head and glanced at the clock—4:00 AM. My flight left at five. I needed to leave, but instead, I grabbed my cell phone and noticed three missed calls from my brother, Brandon. I didn’t bother listening to the voicemails he left. I knew he was probably pissed off, thinking I was going to make him and his wife miss their flight, so I texted him.