by Aven Ellis
“Days,” I say, standing up.
“Weeks, really.”
“Maybe months,” I add, stepping closer to him. “If I were to be thorough in my instruction.”
Matt reaches for me, drawing me into his strong arms. “You’ll need to be over here a lot. Lunch. Dinner. Post-game meals.”
He dips his head and presses a gentle kiss against my lips, and I melt into him as a warm feeling sweeps over me.
I continue to kiss him and slide my hands up to his face, still finding it hard to believe that I’m here, touching him. Kissing him.
Suddenly I hear something hitting the window, and Matt breaks the kiss.
“Ice,” he says, entwining his hand with mine and leading me to the large windows that overlook his fire pit and swimming pool.
I gaze outside, and sleet is falling from the gray sky.
“This is what Kenley was freaked out about this morning,” I say, watching the sleet hit his patio furniture. “She was terrified she would have to drive in it.”
Matt moves behind me and draws me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me. I snuggle in close, relishing the moment.
“I bet Claire is excited,” he says. “She probably never gets to see weather like this.”
“Oh, yes, Claire will be dying for snow,” I say, smiling at the thought of it. “I remember going out with Nate and having snowball fights when we were kids and making snow angels.”
“I’ve never made a snow angel,” Matt says.
I wriggle around and look at him. “What? Not once?”
“Nope.”
I grin up at him. “Your education is severely lacking in multiple areas.”
Matt laughs. “Oh? I need to learn to make a snow angel? Quick. You’d better write that in the planner.”
I burst out laughing. “Maybe I will. Snow angels with Matt. And I even have a snowflake sticker to put beside it.”
“Oh, I’m sure you do. But do you have snowflake wasabi tape?”
“Shut up.”
Matt cocks an eyebrow at me. “Do you have that back in Minnesota?”
I clear my throat. “I might.”
“Ha!”
I decide to change the subject. “Have you ever built a snowman?”
“Negative.”
“Matt!” I cry, appalled.
“Holly!” Matt mimics, laughing.
“Okay. I’m praying the snow gods will give us some snow today. I have so much to teach you.”
Matt runs his hands through my hair. “You already are teaching me so much.”
I pause for a moment. “Like what?”
“How to be happy,” he says.
I feel my eyes grow watery as I gaze up at him.
“I’m glad,” I say, my voice thick. “You have no idea how happy those words make me.”
And as he kisses me, all I can think of is one phrase:
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
Chapter 15
I slowly open my eyes. I’m snuggled against Matt on his couch. After our late lunch, we went upstairs to his media room and started watching Star Trek: Into Darkness on Netflix. Matt retrieved his comforter off his bed and threw it over us—the man is in serious need of throw blankets, too—and we cuddled close.
I say started the movie. Because we ended up making out instead. And for once, I gave Chris Pine zero attention.
Because I’m totally lost in Matt.
I turn my head and find Matt is propped up on his elbow, watching me.
“What time is it?” I ask.
Matt dips down and presses a kiss against my temple. “It’s after seven.”
“Really?” I ask, surprised.
“Well, we ate late,” Matt says, stroking his fingers casually through my hair. “And then I distracted you from Chris Pine.”
I grin as I slide my hand up to the back of his neck, caressing his silky curls with my fingers. “You’re the only man who could ever distract me from Chris Pine.”
“That’s a bigger accomplishment than a forty-goal season,” he says, kissing me again.
“Mmmm,” I murmur. “Did you sleep?”
“No.”
I gaze up at him, confused. “But you were the one who was tired. You said you take naps every day when you skate.”
“I do,” Matt says. “But this is the first time I’ve had a woman here when I tried to take a nap. I couldn’t sleep.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I say, moving my hand to his cheek. “I disrupted your schedule.”
“No,” he says, shaking his head. “I don’t mean that. When you drifted off, I couldn’t stop watching you. Because I finally knew what you looked like when you were sleeping. Something I never thought I would ever see.”
Emotions swirl in my heart. He is such a good man, such a sensitive soul, but nobody knows this part of him exists. This is the kind of love I want in my life. This. A man who adores me and is content to watch me sleep. Who guides me through anxiety attacks without judging me. Who mocks me over my planner, who laughs when I make a fool out of myself, who encourages me to be me, despite my weird habits and quirky personality.
“I adore you,” I whisper to him.
Matt’s eyes widen, and I wonder if I’ve scared him with those words. He’s all in, but maybe verbalizing my affection is too much, too soon. It’s been days, not weeks or months. Did I honestly expect his feelings to be this intense simply because mine are?
I bite my lip as panic rises in me.
A slow smile spreads across his gorgeous face, and my body relaxes the instant I see that smile.
“Yeah?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“Good, because I adore you, too,” he whispers back. Then he kisses me as if to prove his point.
I break the kiss and hold his face in my hands. “We should see how bad that ice built up. And make dinner.”
Matt pushes himself up and stretches, and I roll up, reaching for my phone that I left on an end table.
I see I have a few texts from Kenley and Nate. I begin to read them, and as I do, I realize the weather must be bad.
“It took Kenley four hours to drive home,” I say, reading my messages. “From somewhere that takes thirty minutes on a normal day.”
“Shit, seriously?” Matt asks, raking a hand through his hair. He reaches for the remote, and turns the channel to the news. A reporter is standing on an overpass, which has cars turned every which way. “Look at this.”
I glance up, and it’s chaos on the roads. Gridlock, ice, and wait—Is that snow?
Before I can say anything, my phone rings.
“Hold on, it’s Nate,” I say, taking the call. “Hello?”
“Hey, I shot you a couple of texts about the weather but you didn’t answer. Are you still at Rhinelander’s?”
“Yes, we’ve been watching movies,” I say, keeping my eyes on the huge 100-inch TV. “I didn’t have my phone out, so I’m just seeing your messages now. The roads look bad on the news.”
“Listen, I don’t know how you feel about this, but I don’t think Matt should risk driving you home tonight. I know he can drive on ice, but I don’t trust the people around him. Are you comfortable enough to crash at his place?”
Oh, the irony. My brother is asking me if I can spend the night at Matt’s house, and there’s nothing in this world I want more. But to Nate, it’s a favor. To me, it’s more time with the man I’m falling in love with.
“Let me ask him, hold on.” I put the call on hold and turn to Matt. “Nate said the roads are really bad, and I should stay here tonight. If you are okay with that, I mean.”
“No, you’re absolutely staying here,” Matt says. “I’m not risking your life t
o try and drive you home.”
I smile and relay the message to Nate. “Hey, he’s fine with it. I’ll come home when the roads are clear. Hopefully tomorrow.”
“Okay, good,” Nate says. “I feel a lot better about this. Tell Rhinelander I owe him one.”
I say goodbye and hang up. I turn to Matt and smile. “Nate says he owes you one for taking care of me.”
Matt grimaces. “I think he’d bust my face if he knew how I was taking care of you.”
I shake my head. “We’re not thinking about that now. That is something we’ll deal with later.”
He exhales loudly, and I know the idea of talking to Nate about us is weighing heavily on him already.
I stand up and extend my hand to him. “Come on, get your coat on. Snow is calling our name.”
“Now? What about dinner?” Matt asks.
I gaze down at him, putting on my best sad face.
“You aren’t going to resort to a pout, are you?”
“No,” I say. “I don’t pout. Not even for you,” I add.
Matt begins to laugh. “I’m so screwed. I can’t say no to those brown eyes of yours.”
“Come on,” I say, pulling him up.
Matt heads down the hall to the master bedroom while I bundle up downstairs. A few minutes later, he’s in a black parka, and I’m tugging on gloves as he turns on the outdoor lights.
I gasp when I see the backyard. It did snow! There must be five inches! Nothing like what Matt and I grew up with, but plenty for us to have fun.
“Ahhhh, I’m excited,” I say. “Let’s go!”
I grab his hand and open the back door, pulling him out into the frozen air. Snowflakes are drifting around us, the sky is inky black, and the city is blanketed in quiet.
“It’s a blank canvas,” I say, swept up in the magic of winter. “Look at that, Matt. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
I eagerly clasp my hands, gazing at the unexpected winter wonderland in front of me. “We really have snow. And enough to make snow angels! Come on, let’s paint the canvas.”
I grab his hand and we walk out to an area next to his pool. I hear nothing but our shoes crunching into the powdered snow.
“Okay, here,” I declare.
Matt grins at me. “We’re really going to do this?”
“Um, yes,” I say. “This is the best time to do it, with fresh powder.”
“Why do I suspect you have a plan?”
“Of course I have a plan.” I giggle. “Okay. Step one. You’re going to stand with your arms outstretched and fall backward into the snow.”
“Should I take notes?”
I start laughing. “Stop, you’re ruining my focus.”
Matt begins laughing, and I can’t stop.
“Okay, move down next to me, but leave enough room so we can outstretch our arms,” I instruct.
“Got it, coach.”
Matt takes a few steps away from me and turns so he’s ready to fall backward along with me.
“On the count of three, we’re going to fall backward into the snow,” I say.
“Not on count two?”
“Would you stop?” I say, laughing again.
Matt laughs in response.
“Okay. One . . . two . . . three!”
We both fall backward into the snow, and I hear Matt laughing loudly next to me.
“Now act like you’re doing jumping jacks,” I say, moving my arms and legs.
Matt follows suit, and soon we are laughing at how ridiculous we are. Two twenty-one-year-old adults making snow angels and having so much fun doing it.
“Now what?” Matt asks.
“Press your head back firmly to make a good indentation,” I say.
“You really do have a serious plan,” Matt says. “What step are we on?”
“Shut up.” I giggle. “Now we’re going to get up. Try not to leave a handprint on your angel when you do it, though.”
“It’s a good thing I’m a professional athlete with a strong core,” Matt quips. “I’ll have to use it, or else I’ll ruin your photo op.”
“Don’t make me laugh,” I say, trying to repress it so I can get up.
We both ease our way up, trying not to leave handprints on our angels. Then we step back together and admire our work.
“Yay, we did it!” I cry happily. “You made your first snow angel!”
I pull my iPhone out of my pocket and take a picture.
“Let me see,” Matt says.
I show Matt the picture.
“I feel so accomplished,” he teases.
I shove the phone back into my coat pocket and take a few steps away from him. I bend down and pick up some snow, packing it tight in my hands. I keep my back to Matt while I make a snowball.
“Remember how I said you would pay for mocking my planner?”
“Doubly pay,” Matt corrects.
“Yes. Right,” I say, working on my snowball. Then I turn around and throw it at him, hitting him smack in the chest. “Now is the time!”
“Oh, you’re going to get it,” Matt yells back, scrambling to get some snow.
We begin an all-out snowball war, laughing and giggling and flinging snowballs at each other. I manage to nail Matt on his perfect ass when he’s bending down to reload.
“Hey!” he yells, laughing.
“But dat ass tho,” I say, mimicking what girls say about him on social media.
He whips around. “Okay, you’re seriously paying for that one.”
Matt drops his snowball and comes after me.
“Noooo!” I squeal joyfully, running across his lawn. The snow slows me down, and I’m no match for Matt and his athletic speed. Suddenly, his hands are around my waist, and we both go tumbling into the snow.
I’m laughing so hard I’m crying, and Matt is cracking up as he rests on top of me.
He pushes himself up, and my breath catches in my throat. His golden curls are dusted with snow, and his ivory skin is flushed with pink from the cold.
Matt takes one of his gloved hands and rests it against my face as he stares into my eyes. His expression has shifted to one of seriousness, and there’s nothing but the absolute quiet of the winter wonderland between us.
“You’re my snow angel, Holly,” he whispers into the frozen air.
Then he presses his lips against mine.
Chapter 16
Warmth radiates through me as Matt kisses me. His kiss is sweet and gentle, reflecting the words he just said to me. I lose myself in his arms, drinking in his kiss, joy swelling in my heart.
I’m his Snow Angel.
Matt lifts his mouth from mine, and as I gaze up into those deep pools of blue, I know I’m lost in him.
Not just now.
But forever.
“I should be scared of this,” Matt whispers into the frozen air, protectively putting a gloved hand against my face. “I’ve never let any woman get this close to me. I’ve never wanted to. I’m twenty-one; this should be the last thing I want. But when I look into your eyes, when I hear your laugh, when I taste your lips, it’s everything I want. You’re all I want.”
I feel a lump swell in my throat as I realize how much he’s giving me right now.
“I know being with me is going to be hard,” I admit. “It would be so much easier with another woman. With me, you have to deal with Nate, and that’s not going to be easy.”
Matt doesn’t flinch from my words.
“I’ll do whatever I need to do to be with you,” he says firmly. “I don’t care about easy or hard. I don’t. All I care about is that the woman is you.”
For some reason, fear grips me. Matt is all in, but does he really understand what
he is all in for? He’s being so honest, so vulnerable, and I know it’s time for me to do the same.
“Matt,” I say, my voice breaking, “I’m also complicated. The social anxiety. What if you want to go out to a party and I panic? What if I become something that is dragging you down? I never want you to resent me for that.”
I try to blink tears away, but one manages to escape.
“Holly,” Matt says, brushing away my tear, “I don’t want you to ever think that. I know what I’m getting into. You’ve never had anyone stand by you with your anxiety. But I will. It’s a part of you like my past is a part of me. I accept that. It’s you. And you’re what I want.”
I should feel relieved by his reassurance, but I know there’s one more thing I need to tell him. One more thing I need to share if Matt understands exactly what he’s all in for.
“Matt, I have something to tell you,” I say. “And I should have told you this earlier, before you said you were all in, but I was embarrassed. And afraid you’d change your mind.”
Matt furrows his brow. “Holly, there’s nothing you could say to make me feel that way.”
I bite down on my lip before speaking.
“I’m a virgin.”
Matt’s eyes widen in surprise. “What?”
“I haven’t been with anyone,” I admit quietly. “I didn’t let people get close to me, either. And that included sex. To me, sex has to have meaning. I know that seems crazy and old-fashioned. I know that you can enjoy sex for what it is, but that’s not me. I don’t have to be in love, but I have to feel emotionally involved to want to take that step. And I never have wanted to take that step. Until now.”
He doesn’t say anything. This could be the end for a sexually experienced man like Matt, and my heart practically dies inside my chest at the thought.
“I know this could be a huge turn-off for you,” I blurt out. “I know you’ve been with women who know what they’re doing. Who are good at sex. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t want you to change your mind. But that’s not fair. You should know. And I understand if I’m not what you want anymore.”