Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus: A Devout Muslim Encounters Christianity

by Qureshi, Nabeel

  To get to Glasgow from Dunoon, we had to cross Holy Loch. The loch was a berth for American nuclear submarines during the Cold War. Abba was the safety and environmental officer for the submarine repair ship. Of course, I did not know that at the time. All I knew was there were two ferries that took us across the loch, a small red one and a big black one, and the black one had a lounge where we could get cheese sandwiches. Usually Ammi and Abba had stopped squabbling by the time we got on the ferry, and on this day, they decided to stay in the car and prepare us for Sirat-an-Nabi day.

  Ammi quizzed us, and either Baji or I responded, depending on who knew the answer. “Batao, tell me, when was Muhammad born, and where?”

  “AD 570, in Mecca.”

  “Shabash, good job! Ub batao, now tell me, who was his father?”

  “His name was Abdullah, but he died before Muhammad was born.”

  “And his mother?”

  “Her name was Amina, and she died when he was six.”

  “So who took care of Muhammad when she died?”

  “His grandfather, Abdul Muttalib, but only for two years. Then he died.”

  “And after that?”

  “His uncle, Abu Talib. He lived until Muhammad was much older.”

  These were routine questions, all part of a proper Islamic education for young Muslims. Parents often pride themselves in their children’s rote knowledge of Islamic facts and recitations, and Ammi and Abba were no exception.

  “Okay, this one is difficult. Tell me one thing that happened to Muhammad before his mother died.”

  Baji answered. “One day, when Muhammad was playing with some of the other kids, two angels came to him and opened up his chest. The other kids were scared and thought the angels might be jinn. They ran away. The angels took out Muhammad ’s heart and cleaned it until it shined. Then they put it back into his chest and left.”9

  Jinn: Spiritual beings often considered analogous to demons

  “Shabash, guriya!” That was Ammi’s nickname for Baji, which means “doll.” “Since you answered that, Nabeel, batao: who was Muhammad ’s first wife, and how did they get married?”

  This one was easy. “Muhammad ’s first wife was Khadija. She was a rich widow, and Muhammad worked for her as a merchant. When she saw how good he was at business and how honest he was with money, she offered to marry him.”

  “And how old were they?”

  “Muhammad was twenty-five, and Khadija was forty.”

  “Good, but maybe that wasn’t difficult enough. Ub batao, Billoo, how did Muhammad find out he was a prophet?”

  “He was praying in a cave one day . . .”

  Abba interjected, “What was the name of the cave?”

  “The Cave of Hira. He was praying, and an angel came to him and asked him to recite. But Muhammad did not know how to recite, so the angel had to ask him three times. Then the angel gave Muhammad the first verses of the Quran.”

  “Shabash,” Ammi continued. “And what surah was that?”

  Neither Baji nor I knew the answer to this question. It was harder than it might appear, since the Quran is not in chronological order. It wasn’t a separate question in the books we had read, so we hadn’t paid specific attention to it.

  “No problem, don’t worry. In case anyone asks you today, remember that it is Surat al-Alaq.”

  “Jaani, no one is going to ask them what surah it was. Ask them the important questions.” Jaan or jaani is an Urdu term of endearment that means “my life.” It is used for loved ones, and the way Abba used it here, it roughly meant “my darling.”

  But Ammi wasn’t having any of it. “So the name of a surah isn’t important, but the name of a cave is? Okay, fine. Let the man of the house ask questions!”

  “Okay, I will. Challo, batao: Who was the first person to accept Muhammad as a prophet?”

  “His wife Khadija.”

  “And among men?”

  “His best friend, Abu Bakr.”

  “And what is special about Abu Bakr?”

  “He became the first khalifa when Muhammad died.” This was an important issue about which Shia disagree, but Baji and I did not know that yet.

  Shia: Followers of Shi’ism, one of the two major branches of Islam

  “Good. Who accepted Islam first among children?”

  “Muhammad ’s cousin Ali.”

  “And what is special about Ali?”

  “He became the fourth khalifa.”

  “How did most of the other Meccans receive Islam?”

  “They persecuted the Muslims, insulting them and attacking them for years.”

  “So what happened?”

  “Muhammad had to flee to Medina.”

  Abba grew silent. Waves lapped softly at the ferry’s hull as it began to dock. Juxtaposed with the rapid-fire questions, the brief pause served to magnify the mood. What was Abba thinking about?

  When he finally spoke, his voice was contemplative, almost remorseful. “Billoo, batao, what was the first battle Muhammad had to fight? Give me details.”

  “It was the Battle of Badr. The Meccans came to Medina to attack the Muslims and destroy them. They brought one thousand soldiers and many horses. The Muslims had only 313 men, very little armor, and only a few horses.”

  “Who won?”

  “We did, of course!”

  “Why?”

  “Because we were better.”

  “No, beyta. They had the upper hand in every way. We won because Allah helped us. If this battle had gone naturally, we would have lost, and Muhammad would have been killed, audhu billah. God will always help the Muslims, because we are His people. Okay, beytee, now you tell me, what were the other battles that were fought at Medina?”

  “The Battle of Uhud and the Battle of the Trench,” Baji responded, perhaps too cheerfully for the subject matter.

  “Why did the Muslims fight these battles? Were we attacking anyone?”

  “No, Abba. Muslims only fight to defend themselves. The Meccans were attacking the Muslims.”

  “So what did the Muslims have to do to stop the Meccans?”

  “They conquered Mecca.”

  “And where was this prophesied?”

  I interjected, “In the Bible! Deuteronomy!”10 There was a whole field of Islamic polemics called “Muhammad in the Bible,” and our books of Islamic knowledge were full of references to biblical prophecies about Muhammad. I was fascinated with them. Plus, I loved saying “Deuteronomy,” though I had no idea what it was.

  “Okay, last question. When Muhammad conquered Mecca, what did he do?”

  “He forgave all the Meccans!”

  “Yes . . .” Abba trailed off again, and this time I could tell he was preparing to make an impassioned point. Sometimes his love for Islam overwhelmed him, and he would even pontificate to the wind if no one was there to listen. It did not happen often, but when it did, I loved it. I soaked it in.

  “Yes, he forgave everyone. These are the same people who killed Muhammad ’s uncle, who are responsible for the death of Khadija, who persecuted Muslims for years and then launched many wars against the defenseless community. When Muhammad finally had a chance to strike them down, no less than they deserved, he gave mercy to them all. Is it any wonder Muhammad is called rehmatullah, the Mercy of Allah?”

  Abba’s eyes were fixed on the horizon. We hung on his every word, brimming with respect and pride for our prophet.

  “Many of the Meccans saw Muhammad ’s mercy that day and couldn’t help but proclaim the beauty of Islam. The whole of Arabia was so in awe of Muhammad that they all became Muslim. The Messenger and message were irresistible, and soon, the Muslim empire expanded from Spain to India. It was the greatest civilization the world had ever seen. While the West was in its Dark Ages, Islam was in its Golden Era.”

  “Western society owes much to Islam. Science, medicine, mathematics, philosophy . . . Muslims had a huge impact in all these fields. That’s why we still find Arabic words in all of them, lik
e ‘algebra’ and ‘alchemy.’ Unfortunately, when the Western civilizations conquered, they destroyed everything. Muslim scholars were murdered, libraries were burned, cities were razed. The Spanish Inquisition is just one example of how Christians treated Muslims.”

  “But why would the Christians treat Muslims that way?” I wondered aloud. “Didn’t they follow Hazrat Isa?”

  Hazrat: An honorific title meaning “respected”

  Isa: The Arabic name for Jesus

  “Beyta, they weren’t following Hazrat Isa. They stopped following him a long time before. They turned Jesus into a god, and so they dishonored Hazrat Isa and blasphemed Allah! That is why Allah sent Muhammad and Islam as the final message for all of mankind. It embodies all the messages that Allah sent through the prophets: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Moses, David, Elijah . . . all of them brought messages from Allah to their people, and although the people accepted their messages at first, later generations corrupted them all. Light gets dimmer the farther it gets from its source! That is why we cannot trust the Bible today; it is corrupted. Only the Quran is perfect. Only Islam is incorruptible. Allah will guard it until the message spreads and the world becomes Muslim. That is when the day of judgment will come. That is the day Islam will be victorious.”

  We were all entranced by Abba’s love for the faith, embracing his vision for a global Islamic future. There was nothing violent about its victory. It was a romantic notion of vindication and destiny.

  After processing for a few moments, Ammi brought us back to earth. “Challo, that’s enough. We are going to arrive at the masjid in a few minutes. Let’s get ready.” And she was right. We were nearing the mosque. Time had felt suspended, and I hadn’t even noticed getting off the ferry. I loved discussing matters of religion. The Quran, Allah, Muhammad, dates, names, places . . . they all enthralled me. Even talking about Jesus and the Bible was fascinating. To me, it was all a part of Allah’s plan for mankind, a plan that was finally enacted through the greatest man who ever lived, Muhammad . He had our hearts, and he had our allegiance.

  Chapter Six

  RIGHTEOUS THROUGH RITUAL PRAYER

  THE GLASGOW MOSQUE was one of my favorite places in childhood. It sat at an oddly angled intersection near the River Clyde, just off the main road. Made of red stone and capped with a green dome, it had many floors with irregularly placed staircases, doors, and hallways. It was the perfect place to play hide-and-seek with the other Muslim boys.

  Apart from children’s games, there were many congregational activities at the mosque. We came together for holy days, celebrations, funerals, weddings, picnics, parties, and pretty much anything we wanted to do as a community. The mosque is a very dear place to Muslims, especially expatriated Muslims who long for fellowship. But none of those are the primary purpose of a mosque.

  The primary purpose is congregational prayer, salaat. These are the obligatory prayer rituals, offered five times daily by all Muslims. First standing, then bowing, then briefly prostrating with their foreheads to the ground before rising and sitting on their heels, Muslims recite prescribed Arabic supplications to Allah.

  Salaat: The Muslim ritual prayers

  Each of the five daily prayers has its own name: fajr, zuhr, asr, maghrib, and isha. Although the words and postures are the same for all, the number of repetitions differs. Each repetition is called a rakaat. A Muslim is required to pray seventeen rakaat daily, and optional prayers can be offered alongside these. In our jamaat, all told, we were taught to pray thirty-one rakaat per day whenever possible.

  The prayer times often become a schedule of sorts for Muslims, waking up with the adhan for fajr, taking a late morning break from work for zuhr, going home after asr, having dinner after maghrib, and preparing for sleep after isha. For each of these prayers, after hearing the adhan, Muslims perform an ablution called wudhu, a ceremonial washing of the arms, face, and feet. Often they recite memorized du’aas while performing the wudhu. Then they hurry to the congregation to pray.

  Rakaat: Units of repetition in salaat, composed of standing, bowing, prostrating, and sitting postures

  Wudhu: Ceremonial washing before salaat

  Imam: A leader of Muslims, usually referring to one who leads prayer at a mosque

  Muslims all around the world pray roughly the same way. In fact, they all face the same point, toward the Ka’ba, the Muslim holy shrine in Mecca, which looks like a black cube. It is Islamic lore that Abraham built the Ka’ba with his son Ishmael, and when Muhammad took refuge in Medina, he commanded Muslims to start facing the Ka’ba during salaat. They have done so ever since, whether standing in a circle in the Grand Mosque, which houses the Ka’ba, or in a line halfway around the world. In the West, you might see a zealous Muslim pull out a compass at prayer time to find the exact direction. I have even seen prayer rugs with compasses built into them.

  The prayer is led by one man, called the imam. Men and women pray separately but in sufficient proximity so that the women can hear the imam’s voice as he leads the prayer. While the imam leads, some portions of the prayer are recited silently and individually, and other portions he prays aloud. Sections of each prayer involve the recitation of the Quran, and the imam always recites these aloud from memory.

  The process of reciting the Quran during prayer was an ingenious method to propagate the Quran in the mostly illiterate society of seventh-century Arabia, and it still works today. That is why the only criterion for an imam is that he knows the Quran well and is able to adeptly recite large portions of it. Every once in a while, an imam might make a mistake in recitation, and it is the duty of the Muslims in the front row to correct him. Thus, a hierarchy of piety is often found in the rows of salaat, with elder, respected Muslims toward the front.

  With that minor exception, Muslims take pride in the equality found in salaat. From rich men to poor men, statesmen to workmen, all men line up side by side and pray as one. It is a solemn event, where no one speaks, no one crosses in front of those praying, and no one interrupts.

  No one except, of course, a five-year-old brat from America. A few times, while running around the worshipers during salaat, someone would give me a swift spank to jar me out of my mischief. My parents were fine with this; it took a mosque to raise a Muslim child, and the members of our jamaat trusted one another deeply.

  On one occasion during the salaat, I was restless and fidgety. Out of nowhere, I felt a swift spank on my behind. I turned around to see who it was, but there was no one behind me. I surmised it was my uncle, who was standing next to me, so after finishing the salaat, I tearfully accused him of the spanking. Without flinching, he pointed up to the sky and said, “No, it was Allah.” My eyes went wide, and I thought, “If only I had turned around faster, I would have seen the hand of Allah!” Twenty years later, he confessed it was him, but in the meantime, I was honored to have been spanked by God Himself. I always stood with due solemnity in salaat after that.

  Since the postures and words are memorized,11 there is nothing extemporaneous — indeed, nothing personal — about salaat. For the vast majority of Muslims, it is simply an act of duty, not personal or heartfelt expression.

  True, one can dwell on the meaning of the words that he is reciting and by doing so make it more personal, but rare is the worshiper who can do that for each of the seventeen required rakaat every single day. Even then, the words are exogenous to the worshiper, not the least because they are in a foreign language. This is true even for Arabic speakers. Arabs speak colloquial forms of Arabic that vary by region. If they want to learn a form of Arabic that approximates classical Arabic, they have to learn it at school. The language of the daily prayers is not personal to anyone.

  Jumaa: The name for the Muslim Sabbath day

  This may lead one to wonder why Muslims continue to pray five times a day. What is the point in reciting the same words five times a day, every day, when they don’t mean anything personally? I wondered that myself when I was young, and when I asked
Abba, he said “Nabeel, before Allah, we are all dirty, and we need His cleansing. Now imagine you bathed five times a day. How clean you would be! The salaat is the spiritual bath that Allah has given Muslims to keep us pure and clean. That is why we pray five times a day.”

  There is some variation in the prayers. On Fridays, the Islamic Sabbath day, the imam gives a sermon and Muslims pray a modified form of the zuhr prayer, called jumaa prayer. The word jumaa means “congregated,” and it can be prayed only with three people or more. So important is jumaa prayer that the word Friday in Arabic and Urdu is named after it. Ammi and Abba told us that if we missed three jumaa prayers in a row, we would have a black scar on our heart that could never be cleansed.

  Unfortunately, we could not go to the mosque on Fridays because of its distance from our home and because of Abba’s schedule. Of course, we could also not go to the mosque for the five daily prayers either. So we usually prayed the daily salaat and jumaa as a family at home. If ever Abba was deployed and there was no male relative staying at our home, I would lead Ammi and Baji in prayer. That started at a young age, when Ammi felt I was mature enough.

  Although I enjoyed leading prayer, and although some of the imams in our jamaat had melodious voices or commanding presences, Abba was always my favorite imam. His tempo, his voice, his melody, and his position in front of the rest of our family just seemed right to me. Even now, I can hear his voice reciting long portions of the Quran if I just close my eyes. That is why I know those portions, because I heard Abba repeat them so often. Salaat solidified my father as my spiritual leader and indelibly chiseled the Quran into my heart. That is the power of salaat.

  Chapter Seven

  DIVERSITY IN ISLAM

  THE YEAR 1989 WAS IMPORTANT for our jamaat. It was the one hundredth anniversary of the Ahmadiyya sect of Islam, our sect, and people from all over the world were gathering in England to celebrate the centenary. Our family considered it Allah’s special blessing that this momentous event occurred while we were stationed in the United Kingdom. We would be among tens of thousands of people in attendance.