But, to be honest, I didn’t mind it that much. I thought about what I’d said to Jack. That he could only redeem himself. I needed my own redemption. I needed to get out of the shadow of my father’s evil.
“There are all these people I have to pay,” I said, and showed her the list I’d made of all the staff who’d worked for Dad. “I can’t use Dad’s money to pay them. I can’t touch that money. I’m going to start looking for a job, but I need somewhere to live right now.”
Angie sat beside me on the bed. I put the blanket over her too.
“Are Storm ever going to play again?” she asked. “Eric won’t tell me. You won’t tell me. I haven’t even heard Jack say a word.”
“Who knows, Angie?” I replied. “We’ve had some offers for gigs, but I’ve had to turn them down. It’s better for them not to play than to go through that nightmare again. I don’t think Jack even wants to. The label people don’t want to know them any more, and they have a three-record deal. You know what that means? It means Storm have to put out three albums with them. The label won’t give them more money, and they won’t promote them. They will just tie them up in legal red tape for years, and the guys won’t be able to do a thing.”
“That doesn’t seem right. They can’t do that. Can they?” She looked at me like I’d be able to fix this all.
“They can. When we signed the contract, we never thought something like this would happen. A three-album deal seemed a great idea because it locked us in long-term. We were banking on three very successful albums with the full weight of the label behind us.”
I sighed. Those days weren’t even that long ago, but they felt like another lifetime. I’d been so happy then, so sure of the future stretching out before me.
“Whoa, it’s cold in here. I can see my breath. That heater isn’t doing much good.” She breathed out to show me her frosty breath. “Have you heard from Jack? Is it really over?”
Angie lit a cigarette. I didn’t like her smoking in my room, but I didn’t tell her to stop because she’d go outside and then I’d have to go with her, and it was even colder outside than in my room.
I didn’t call Jack and he hadn’t called me. I wanted to forget he’d ever been in my life, but every night I reached for him in my sleep. My arms searched for his body and my lips for his skin. Sometimes, I’d wake up thinking he was with me, then realise it had only been a dream. That just meant I had to work harder, to exhaust my body so I could fall into a dreamless sleep.
“I don’t know, Ange, I really don’t know. I think it’s best for me to stay away from him. We just destroy each other when we’re together.”
We sat in silence for a while, both of us lost in our own worlds.
“You could stay at my place,” Angie said after a bit. “I can stay with Eric. We’re working on this short film. It’s a bit stupid, but we’re thinking of entering in some competitions.”
I shook my head. “You have all your video gear set up, and I’ve moved in here now.”
To be honest, I really didn’t want to move in to Angie’s place. She was such a packrat that I’d be buried in her stuff. I could put up with the cold and the weird tenants here.
“This place is never going to be warm enough, no matter how many heaters you have.”
I nodded.
Angie moved away from me. I knew she was building up to ask something. I could tell by the look on her face.
“Jack’s court case is next week. Are you going?”
I sighed. I’d been thinking about that a lot. Maybe I’d just make things worse by being there. Jack was pretty well screwed. Frank would look like the upstanding businessman in court, and Jack would look like a lout. He wouldn’t even have the good sense to show up in a suit and tie. He might have a chance if he had a jury of women and he turned on his charm, but I doubted that would be the case.
He wouldn’t even have a good lawyer, and the judge probably would know Frank. They’d have gone drinking together, maybe played golf some time. It did not look good for Jack at all.
I tried to shake it off. Jack wasn’t my responsibility anymore. I wasn’t even sure if I’d ever be his manager again. Eric thought we should just tread water for a while, and had been taking on more graphics work. I felt like he wanted to distance himself from the band and I didn’t blame him after what had happened. As much as he supported Jack, I don’t think Eric trusted him any longer.
Chapter 28
Eric called me and wanted me to come over to the apartment. I didn’t want to go. Every fibre of my being told me not to.
“We need to talk about the band,” he said.
“Can’t we do it somewhere else?” I replied. “Meet at a cafe or a bar.”
“It’s better if you come here.”
That sounded ominous, as if maybe Jack couldn’t leave the house, or that Eric thought things would go so badly that we couldn’t be in public. I sighed and said I’d come over.
I got changed about fifteen times. I shouldn’t have even cared what I looked like. I assumed this would be a meeting to officially break the band up and I’d just sigh and agree, then maybe go out somewhere to drown my sorrows. The frail structure that we’d built had shattered to pieces and there was no holding it together.
When I got to their apartment, I was about to ring the bell when I got a message from Eric.
Been held up. Will be there as soon as I can.
That sounded like a set-up to me, and I wondered if Eric had been learning some of Angie’s tricks. That’s totally the sort of thing she’d have done. Screw him. I wouldn’t fall into their trap. I’d wait outside. Then I’d have no awkward alone time with Jack. I didn’t have to play along with their stupid games.
I leaned against the wall, checking my phone. I didn’t really have anything to check, but it made me look busy. It had been an unseasonably sunny morning, so I’d ended up wearing a short dress and tights. As I waited, though, the skies quickly darkened and the temperature dropped. I shivered and pulled the thin cardigan out of my bag, but heavy raindrops began to plop onto the ground. I hadn’t thought to bring a coat or even an umbrella.
Even the weather plotted against me. I wondered if somehow Eric and Angie had conspired to make it rain. I couldn’t stay outside and get saturated. I rang the doorbell.
Jack opened the door and gave me a sheepish grin. He didn’t say anything, so I squeezed passed him to get inside before the rain got heavier.
Without even thinking, I moved into the kitchen and turned on the coffee machine, then realised this wasn’t my home anymore and I was probably being rude. But screw it, I’d probably paid for that coffee. I was entitled to drink it.
“Do you want one?” I asked Jack. He nodded and sat down on the couch. He picked up his guitar and began to strum it.
Even though it was one of his old songs, it sounded different. The way he played it wasn’t as in-your-face and obvious. It lacked the cocksureness he’d played it with before, and this version was deeper, and more full-bodied. I liked it a lot.
When I’d made the coffee, I wasn’t sure if I should sit at the couch with Jack or not. I didn’t want to look like I’d come over to chat all friendly-like.
I decided to stay in the kitchen and leaned over the counter. I gazed out the window. It made me happy that he was playing guitar again, but I didn’t want him to know that I even cared.
As I looked outside, I saw a flash of light against the window of one of the warehouses. Shit, I’d never told Jack about the photos. I hadn’t been able to tell him because it was all wrapped in the stuff about Frank, and then we were fighting so much.
I had to tell him.
I sat on the sofa opposite him.
“Jack, there’s something you should know.”
He stopped playing and his jaw dropped. What the hell? Did he think I was going to say I was pregnant or something? We’d always been careful about that. Thank God.
“About Frank…”
He held his hand up. �
�Don’t tell me, Hannah. I don’t need to know any more.”
“No. You have to listen. It’s really creepy. When I was working in Frank’s office, I found photos. Of you.”
Jack put his guitar aside. “You’re kidding me. Photos my mum had given him?”
“Worse. I think he’s had you followed for a long time. There were some of you as a kid, on the front porch of an old weatherboard house.”
Jack nodded. “My nan’s house.”
“Then others at various ages. The last lot were here. Some looking through that window.”
Jack and I both shuffled away from the window at the same time.
“I was going to buy curtains when I lived here. It really freaked me out. There could be someone there now.”
Jack screwed up his face in thought. “I don’t think so. I don’t think that guy wants anything to do with me now. I made that clear. And I’m not even going to ask you how long you knew about that.”
I should’ve told him sooner. I bit on my lip, not sure how to answer. Where was Eric? This was so not funny. It hurt to see Jack and realise the huge gulf between us, having things I wanted to say but not being able to say them. As he picked up his guitar again, my hand moved to brush back the hair that flopped down but I had to stop myself.
Jack looked good. He looked so much healthier than the last time I’d seen him, healthier than he’d looked in a long time, to be honest. The wildness had gone from his eyes. He strummed on the guitar, not really playing anything but a soft noise to cushion the hurts between us.
“I spoke to my mum the other day,” he said, without looking up. “She said you visited her.”
“Sorry,” I said. She’d probably told him that I’d been probing around in his past.
“She was pleased. Sometimes she’s so needy, it’s hard to get beyond it and remember she’s more than that. She told me to bring you with me next time I came over.”
“Of course, if it would help. There are things your mum has gone through. Maybe, one day, you should talk to her about her past.”
Jack didn’t answer but kept on playing. Outside the rain got heavier and beat hard on the windows. I slipped off my shoes and curled my legs up on the cushion. It seemed like we’d been cut off from the outside world. The silence between us got a tiny bit easier.
“You’re still wearing it,” he said.
I looked up in surprise, as though I had no idea what he was talking about, but my hand instinctively went to the guitar pick hanging around my neck. I’d have liked to have been able to say I’d forgotten I was even wearing the gift he’d given me, but every morning, I took it off before I had my shower and carefully hung it up, then I’d put it back on when I got dressed. I wasn’t ready to give it up just yet.
Finally, Eric got home. He’d gotten soaked in the rain and hurried to his room to get changed.
When he came back downstairs, he grabbed a towel to mop the floor where he’d dripped water.
“Don’t worry about that,” Jack said. “We have things to talk about.”
“The floorboards will be ruined if I don’t dry them. I’ll just be a minute.”
Jack rolled his eyes at me, but Eric was right. You couldn’t be slack about these things.
Finally, Eric sat down with us.
“You start,” Jack said.
My heart thumped. I didn’t want to hear this. I knew where things were leading, but if Eric actually said the words they’d be final. It’d all be over.
“He wants to play a gig,” Eric said. “He’s too gutless to tell you himself.”
Jack gazed up at me with those brown eyes, trying to look all cute and puppy-dog like. My stomach fluttered, although I tried not to show any emotion.
“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea,” I said. I tried to imagine how any venue booker would react. Word got around quickly and only the sleaziest dives would want them to play now.
“I need to do this,” Jack said. “I need to make it up to the fans. That’s my biggest regret. I can live with what I did to the record label guy, and I can live with what I did to that other bastard, even if I have to do time for it.”
“Yeah, and you sure as hell can live with the fact that you punched me,” said Eric.
“Hey, I think I’ve paid the price for that.”
I looked from Jack to Eric, wondering what that meant.
“My mum found out,” Eric said. “She wasn’t happy.”
Ha, those words revealed so much. I couldn’t stop myself from grinning. I had a mental picture of how angry Eric-Mama would have been.
“Did she hit you?” I asked Jack.
“No. But she yelled. A lot. I may never regain hearing in that ear.”
I laughed. I wished I’d been there to see it.
“I think she even rained Korean curses down on me. I’m a bit worried about that. And the language that woman knows… I was shocked.”
Jack laughed. Being cursed out by Eric-Mama would have broken his heart. He loved her. She’d been like a mother to him.
“She forgave you in the end, though,” Eric said.
“Only after I did a lot of grovelling. Seriously, I think I’m committed to helping her make kimchi for the rest of eternity.”
“I don’t think Angie will forgive you so easily,” I said.
“I have a bald spot where she pulled my hair out. I’ve never known a man to be so heavily protected by women in my life.”
“Yeah, but the two of them are now united in their bitching about you. If I’d known that was what it took, I’d have let you punch me ages ago.”
Eric and Jack both laughed. It amazed me how they could act like nothing had happened—no lingering bad feelings at all.
Then Jack leaned forward. “So, I want to play a gig. I want to do it for the fans. Not the people who came to see us because it was free and they had nothing better to do, and not for the industry knobs, but for those people like Angie’s friends, who’ve supported us from the start. I might not get a chance to play again for a long time and I want to say thank you to them, even if it comes out of my own pocket.”
I took a deep breath. I loved this man. I couldn’t fight it. It wasn’t the words he said but the way he said them. The sincerity shining in his eyes. If only he was always like this, I could be with him forever, but I had to brace myself because I knew him well enough to know that, as soon as things got tough, he’d turn back into the old Jack, the one who ran away and didn’t deal.
“I’ll set it up. If you believe you can do it, I’ll make it happen.”
“I knew you would,” he said and grinned. “You know it has to be before next week, right?”
I knew.
Chapter 29
Eric took me upstairs to go over some poster graphics for the gig. I figured it was just a pretext for him to talk to me without Jack overhearing.
“What do you think, Hannah?”
“About Jack?”
Eric nodded.
“If he wants to do the gig, he should do it. Most of the negative reaction has been from the media and the label people, not from the fans. We can keep it low-key, maybe just send out invitations to the mailing list. It might help him take his mind off the trial.”
“I think so too.”
“So long as he doesn’t get all worked up over the court date. That’s the main concern. If he starts drinking or doing drugs again, we might have to pull the plug on this.”
Eric rearranged some papers on his desk and I waited for him to speak. “I shouldn’t tell you this, but I will because you need to know. He’s been seeing a shrink. I’m not sure if he’s just doing it because he figures it will look good in court, or if he’s really trying to get better. It must be messing with him though, because he’s not been sleeping well. Even for Jack, he’s not sleeping well.”
I’d wondered about that, too. Of course, Jack wouldn’t say anything, and it’d take years to clean up the mess in his head. I didn’t want to get my hopes up that he was act
ually trying to be proactive about this, though.
“Hey, Hannah, if you want a lift home, get your butt down here.”
I grinned at Eric. “At least some things are back to normal.”
“Make sure you drive safely. It’s wet and dangerous on the roads,” I said.
“Are you a grandmother? Sure, I’ll drive safely.”
I leaned against the car door, warm and comfortable. We drove with only the squeak of the windscreen wipers breaking the silence. I wanted to ask Jack about the shrink, but couldn’t.
“Thanks for bailing me out,” he said. “I’m surprised you didn’t leave me in there to rot.”
I grinned at him. “I thought about it, but you’re far too pretty for the big house.” Then I bit my lip. What a stupid thing to say. He could be in the big house soon, and he didn’t need reminding of that. Jack was a buff guy, but he’d be nothing on the kind of crims he’d meet in there.
“You’ll probably just get a good behaviour bond, being a first offence and all.” I tried to sound reassuring but I knew this wouldn’t be a simple assault case. Not with Frank behind it, wanting vengeance. Plus Jack’s recent notoriety didn’t help.
Jack laughed. “Yeah, of course.” He’d gone pale, and his lip trembled. Hell, no one wants to go to jail. He was scared and trying so hard to hide it.
Maybe there was something I could do to help. A plan formed in my head, a way I could get Jack off these charges.
“What are you thinking, Hannah?” he asked.
“Nothing. Do you know where you’re going? It’s the place where I used to live.”
He turned down the street. “Yeah, I know.”
When he pulled up outside my building, I didn’t want to get out of the car. I wondered if there were any magic words I could say or anything I could do that would make things right between us. I knew there wasn’t. Jack seemed to be coping so much better without me around.
-o-
I tried to organise the gig, making a list of possible venues and estimating the size of the band’s mailing list for numbers, but there was literally nowhere we could book in the time frame. Even places you’d think would welcome a couple of people through the door.
Bad Boy Redemption (Bad Boy Rock Star #3) Page 15