An Unlikely Debutante

by Laura Martin

  ‘I’m sorry it worked out this way,’ Lina said quietly.

  ‘I’m not. If Victoria could hurt me as she did, then it is a blessing she left my life before she could do any more damage.’

  ‘Do you truly believe that?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Alex remembered the empty feeling he’d had when he’d first encountered Victoria in the dressmakers after three years apart. Perhaps if he was honest with himself, he hadn’t felt as little as he admitted. Certainly he’d felt empty and emotionless, but that in itself was significant—it was his mind’s way of protecting him from further heartbreak.

  ‘Did you believe you were destined to spend your lives together?’

  ‘I was very young...’ Alex started.

  ‘It was three years ago, not fifteen.’

  ‘I was naive. Victoria was the first woman I’d ever loved and I suppose I assumed she felt the same about me.’

  Lina shifted against him, her body starting to warm as they shared their heat, her buttocks pressed up against him in a way that made it difficult for him to concentrate.

  ‘And because she hurt you, you’ve decided never to risk opening your heart to love again.’

  ‘You’re starting to sound like my sister.’

  ‘I want to understand, Alex.’

  He sighed. He didn’t know how he felt, didn’t know why he rejected all the eligible young women he came across at first glance. Perhaps if he was honest, he might admit he was trying to prevent himself from getting hurt again.

  ‘I don’t ever want to be out of control like that again. To give anyone that power over me.’

  Lina was quiet for a few moments, her body still against his. ‘That, I can understand.’

  As the silence stretched out, only broken by the pounding of the rain on the roof of the barn, Alex felt as though he needed to say something more, to explain his reasoning, but the truth was he didn’t know that he understood it himself.

  ‘If Victoria was free, not tied to your friend in marriage, would you want to be with her again?’ Lina asked, her voice no more than a whisper.

  ‘Definitely not. I could never trust her, never enjoy myself with her.’

  Not like I do with you, a little voice in his head added. He did trust Lina and he certainly enjoyed spending time with her.

  The blanket shifted as Lina rolled over, facing him in the darkness, her delicate hands resting on his chest. Alex had to stifle a groan as her breasts brushed against his arm, but did allow his hand to drape over her waist and rest in the small of her back.

  ‘I hope one day you are able to love again,’ Lina whispered softly, burying her head into the space between his shoulder and his jaw. ‘I just want you to be happy.’

  * * *

  The rain had stopped by the time Lina woke up and dawn was just breaking, sending the first rays of sunlight through the small window in the hayloft. For a few moments she felt peculiarly content and she wriggled and stretched with her eyes closed.

  ‘Good morning.’

  Lina froze, noting the warm body next to hers, the soft skin and hard muscle underneath. As she remembered the events that had led to the night in the barn, her eyes shot open and she was on her feet in an instant, pulling the blanket to wrap around her as she rose. She was completely naked, and had spent the entire night with her body pressed against Alex’s for warmth. For a moment she remembered how good it had felt to have his arm draped across her waist, to have her body nestled against his, and she had to physically shake herself to stop from collapsing back on to the blanket and asking Alex to make her his.

  Glancing down, her eyes widened. Of course he was completely naked, and she’d just whipped the blanket from him, exposing every inch of his body. She knew she should look away, but her eyes were transfixed, locked on his naked form, and nothing would entice them to move.

  Alex grinned, winked at her and then rose slowly, taking his time to brush the stray bits of hay from his body before wrapping the second blanket around himself.

  ‘We should dress,’ Lina said quickly, picking some hay from her own hair.

  ‘Or we could just give in to our desires and fall back under the blankets...’

  She studiously ignored his last remark, knowing it wouldn’t take much to persuade her to do exactly as he had suggested. Her body was taut with desire. Just one touch, one carefully placed finger, would have her begging and moaning for Alex to ruin her.

  Their clothes were still a little damp, but no longer dripping with dirty water. Lina grimaced as she straightened out her chemise and petticoats before putting them on. They were a grimy grey colour with streaks of mud, an unpleasant reminder of the events on the road the night before.

  ‘We can bathe when we get home,’ Alex said, a half-smile on his face as he watched her expression.

  He was clad in trousers now, just his top half-bare, and Lina risked a quick look. With his torso exposed, his body streaked with dirt and the makeshift bandage around his upper arm, he looked like some warrior of old, again reminding her of an illustration in her favourite book, Greek Gods, Heroes and Myths.

  The idea of relaxing in one of the gigantic bathtubs at Whitemore House brought a smile to Lina’s face, too. Over the past few weeks she’d enjoyed lying back in the warm water, spending time lathering her hair with fragrant soaps and scrubbing her skin until it glowed. Of course she’d had baths before, but the tin tub filled with cold water her family owned didn’t quite make for the same experience.

  ‘Could you help me?’ Alex asked, indicating his ripped shirt and the bandage on his arm.

  Lina pulled her own dress over her head before approaching Alex. The more layers of clothing between them the safer she felt. If too much of her skin touched his, she wasn’t sure she would be able to keep a clear head.

  Carefully, she helped Alex manoeuvre his arm into his shirt, lifting it over his head and down over his chest, her fingers accidently grazing the solid muscles of his abdomen. Lina stepped away as if she’d been burnt, turning to fiddle with the ties on her dress to cover the deep blush she could feel was spreading across her cheeks.

  ‘McManus and Kitsworth should return for us soon,’ Alex said. ‘If you can make it, I think we should go back to the road, return to the carriage and wait for them there.’

  Lina nodded. Despite the few hours of sleep they had managed to get she still felt exhausted, but she would be able to rest once they were safely home. Right now it was most important to get out into the open, where she was less likely to throw herself at the man she desired with every fibre of every muscle in her body.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  ‘What an adventure you’ve had!’ Aunt Lucy exclaimed, her eyes shining as Alex finished telling her about their eventful journey home from the races. He’d glossed over the part where he and Lina had spent the night in each other’s arms, completely naked, with just one another’s bodies for heat. Although Aunt Lucy was a free spirit when it came to matters of the heart and matters of the bedchamber, Alex didn’t want to embarrass Lina by giving his aunt too many details.

  They’d arrived back at Whitemore House just before lunch, exhausted and filthy. Luckily, as they’d returned to the damaged carriage on the road near the barn McManus and Kitsworth had arrived on horseback, with a friendly farmer driving his cart behind them. The coachman and the groom had spent most of the night trawling the local area, desperately trying to find someone who would open their door to two strange men in the middle of the night in the storm. Alex was pleased he’d taken Lina to shelter in the barn rather than ride for help the night before. He’d been unsure about his decision, but seeing the pale, drawn faces of his coachman and groom, he knew he’d made the right choice.

  On arriving home he’d first instructed McManus and Kitsworth to take at least a week off to recuperate and then he’d sunk into a hot bath, making sure not to get his injured arm wet. Lina had still not emerged from her bedroom, where every so often a maid would disappear with
a fresh bucket of hot water, so no doubt she was still soaking in the tub that had been carried into her room. An hour ago the doctor had arrived and quickly cleansed and sutured Alex’s wound, declaring he should make a full recovery as the bullet had only grazed him, passing cleanly through the skin and top layer of muscle.

  ‘It was certainly an eventful night,’ Alex said, leaning back in his chair. He felt tired, his eyes heavy and his body weary. He hadn’t slept a wink, finding it impossible to relax with Lina’s body pressed against his, having her so tantalisingly close but unable to act out his deepest fantasies. Every time she’d shifted, every time she’d wriggled in her sleep, Alex had fought to maintain his control. The worst part was that he’d seen the desire in her eyes, known that all it would take was one carefully timed kiss and she would melt into his arms, willing and ready to give in to the passion between them.

  ‘It’ll be a story to tell your grandchildren,’ Aunt Lucy said, a hint of mischief in her eyes.

  ‘Aunt Lucy...’ Alex started, his voice stern.

  ‘Anyone can see the connection you two share.’

  Alex sighed, looking down at his hands for a few moments. He loved Aunt Lucy, she’d been wonderful after the death of his parents, ensuring both he and Georgina wanted for nothing whilst they mourned the loss, but sometimes she was a little too free with her opinions.

  ‘I like Lina,’ Alex said slowly, choosing his words so she couldn’t misinterpret anything. ‘I enjoy spending time with her. She’s fun and amusing and I find myself happier when I’m in her company.’

  ‘What more could you want from a mate?’

  ‘You know she’s a completely unsuitable companion.’

  ‘I can see the spark between you, the desire that is simmering just beneath the surface.’

  ‘That is not enough to base a lifetime together.’

  Aunt Lucy shrugged. ‘It’s a good start. I’ve been married three times, Alex, and my happiest time was when I followed what my heart was telling me.’

  He couldn’t believe they were talking about him having a future with Lina. It wasn’t even something he had contemplated, not seriously. In the dark hours in the middle of the night he had indulged in a few fantasies, scenarios where he woke up to Lina in his arms every morning and made passionate love to her every night, but he knew they were just that: fantasies.

  ‘She’s a gypsy.’

  ‘Why should that matter?’

  It was the way of the world. Perhaps people would be much happier if the social order was not such an important consideration, but in today’s world it was.

  ‘If I chose to spend my life with Lina, we would be snubbed by society. She’d never fit in.’

  ‘That’s only a problem if you care about those things.’

  Despite knowing it could never happen, despite knowing his life and Lina’s could never slot together, Alex felt a flicker of hope and anticipation. There would be something wonderful about spending each and every day with Lina, watching her face as he gave her a racehorse to break in and train, persuading her to swim naked again in the lake, indulgently kissing every inch of her body first thing each morning...

  ‘These last few weeks you’ve come alive again, Alex, after retreating into yourself for so long. If Lina can do that for you, imagine what happiness you could have if you just forget about what society expects of you and focus on what is really important—love.’

  Distractedly he shook his head. He didn’t love Lina. He liked her, he cared for her, he certainly desired her, but after Victoria had nearly broken him, he’d vowed never to open his heart to love again.

  It was true he loved certain things about Lina—her inquisitive nature, her inherent kindness, her ability to shrug off other people’s opinions—but that wasn’t the same thing as loving her. Or at least...

  Alex shook his head, this was not a path he should go down. If he loved Lina, things would get a lot more complicated, a lot messier.

  ‘All that can be obtained without marriage,’ Alex said slowly, an idea forming in his mind. When he’d asked Lina to become his mistress before, he’d tried to persuade her it would just be for a short time, that they could take their pleasure and break away cleanly, both moving on with their lives. Over the past few weeks Alex knew his affections for Lina had grown, he couldn’t stand in the same room as her and not want to wrap her in his arms. Perhaps the solution to their difference of opinion when it came to Lina being his mistress could be solved by him admitting he didn’t just want a short-term affair.

  ‘She won’t have you any other way,’ Aunt Lucy said bluntly.

  ‘You don’t know that.’

  ‘She’s a sensible girl—already she’s at a huge social disadvantage being from a gypsy family. All she has is her virtue and her self-respect. If she agrees to be your mistress, she will lose that.’

  Alex shook his head, about to protest.

  ‘You know what I’m saying is true. And if she were to become your mistress, everything is taken out of her control. It wouldn’t be her deciding on how long to prolong your affair. She would be entirely at your mercy and that is a frightening prospect for a young woman.’

  ‘I’d never hurt her.’

  ‘Yes, you would. In a few years, you will want to marry. The urge for a domestic life will grow and you will want heirs of your own flesh and blood. You are not the sort of man to keep a mistress when a wife warms your marital bed and Lina knows it.’

  Alex could hardly deny it. He wasn’t sure he ever would want to marry, but if he did, his conscience wouldn’t allow him to keep a mistress at the same time.

  ‘I love you very much, Alex. You know I look upon you and Georgina like the children I was never blessed with. I just want you to be happy.’

  He was happy. The past few weeks he’d felt more content than he had done in years.

  ‘Consider what would truly make you happy, then find a way to ensure it happens and damn the rest of society and what they think.’

  * * *

  Lina sat on the terrace, running a comb through her wet hair, feeling completely rejuvenated and relaxed. All in all, she’d spent over an hour in the bathtub, the maids obligingly bringing her fresh buckets of hot water whenever the chill began to set in. In return, Lina had regaled them with the story of what had happened on the trip home, adding a few embellishments here and there to keep her audience enthralled. By the time her skin was so soft it was beginning to wrinkle, the maids were giggling in delight as Lina described how Alex had saved her life one last time.

  Now alone, she allowed her thoughts to turn to Alex—and more specifically the undeniably chaste night they had just spent together. She’d been so close to giving in to her desire, so close to brushing her lips against his whilst urging him to make love to her. The lack of control was frightening and Lina knew she would have to be very careful these next couple of weeks or she would find herself in Alex’s bed with no way of protecting her future.

  ‘I’m here to collect,’ a low voice growled suddenly in her ear.

  Only the hand Lina covered her mouth with stifled the high-pitched scream of shock as her uncle grabbed her wrist. He looked dishevelled, desperate even, and the wild darting of his eyes made Lina pause for a moment. Her uncle had never been a warm or loving relative, more interested in what he could take from people than in building relationships, but never had he been quite so cruel, quite so persistent. Ever since she’d made and lost the wager with Uncle Tom, Lina hadn’t stopped to consider why he was quite so desperate for the debt to be paid or the details of how to get his hands on Alex’s money.

  ‘You owe someone money,’ Lina said, recovering from the initial shock of being pounced on.

  ‘That’s none of your concern,’ Tom hissed, although by the expression on his face Lina could see she was right. No wonder he’d been so persistent.

  ‘I’ve got most of what I owe you,’ Lina said.

  ‘Most isn’t good enough.’

  Quickly Lina reac
hed for the stack of notes she’d kept hidden under her skirts throughout the ambush the night before. It was her winnings from the bet on Dawnbreaker at the races. Twelve pounds—more money than she’d ever possessed—but right now she didn’t care. All she wanted was for Uncle Tom to leave her alone.

  ‘We agreed on fifteen pounds,’ Tom said, counting the notes greedily.

  ‘Take this,’ Lina said after a moment’s hesitation. It was the silver comb Alex had given her after their first dinner party. She was loath to part with it, but if it meant getting Uncle Tom to leave her alone once and for all it was a small price to pay.

  ‘It’s not enough.’

  Lina frowned. The hair clip was solid silver and of an intricate and beautiful design. It would certainly cover the outstanding three pounds she owed him.

  ‘I need more, much more.’

  There was pure fear in Uncle Tom’s eyes now and Lina felt a flicker of sympathy for the man, despite never liking him much.

  ‘What have you got yourself mixed up in?’ she asked softly.

  ‘Nothing you need to know about,’ Tom said, squeezing her shoulder roughly. ‘Just keep your end of the bargain and there will not be a problem.’

  ‘I’ve paid my debt. We’re even.’

  ‘I need more money and you’re going to help me get it. Where does your toff keep his stash?’

  ‘I’m not telling you.’

  Anger and desperation flared in his eyes and Lina flinched as he raised his hand to hit her. The blow was stinging, delivered with the flat of his hand to her cheek. Lina started to rise, ready to kick, hit and scratch her way out, but before she could start her assault Tom went flying backwards, travelling across the terrace at high speed. He let out a low howl which was cut short as he made impact with the wall of the house.

  Before Lina could rise to her feet, Alex was by her side, crouching down next to her and checking she was not too badly injured. His fingers felt cool on the warm, sore patch of cheek where Uncle Tom’s palm had connected with her flesh.